"Rae, you look stunning." I clear my throat. "This is definitely the dress."
"Are you crying?" Rae looks at me shocked.
"No, now go buy the dress so we can leave." I look away hiding my tears.
"Actually, Marie, can you hold onto this dress and veil until tomorrow? My parents want to pay for the dress so I need to call them and tell them the total amount." Rae smiles at Marie.
"Of course! We will hold it until closing tomorrow." Marie pats Rae's hand.
"Thank you so much! I will go change and then we can leave." Rae walks away giddy.
After ten minutes or so Rae walks back out. She hands the dress and veil to Marie. We say our goodbyes and then leave the store. Rae basically skips to the car from how happy she is.
"Why didn't you just buy that dress? I know you had the money for it." I ask.
"I'm waiting until we go to the other wedding dress store tomorrow. I might find something better." Rae smiles.
"You lied? I can't believe it!" I tease Rae. "You are not going to find a dress as great as that one."
"That's probably true, but there is nothing wrong with looking around." Rae says matter of factly.
"That's my philosophy on dating." I joke, but Rae glares at me. I raise my hands in surrender and say, "I'm kidding."
"You better be. Niall is the one for you." McKenna rambles on like this the whole way back to Niall's. I sit here and just listen. It's better to just agree then to argue with a pregnant woman. When we pull up to Niall's place Rae looks over at me. "I would come in and say hi, but Harry and his mom are waiting for me. Tell Niall hi."
"I will. See you tomorrow." I climb out of her car and walk into Niall's home. I hear the TV playing so I walk into the living room. Niall is sitting on the edge of the couch watching some soccer game. I walk over to him and ask, "what are you watching?"
"Hey! I didn't even hear you come in." Niall smiles at me. "How was it?"
"Exhausting, but good. Rae found the perfect dress, but won't buy it until we go to the fancy wedding dress store." I sigh at how ridiculous it is. "Sorry we were gone for so long. Who knew wedding dress shopping could take three hours."
"Its her wedding day, let her be picky and weird about it." Niall chuckles.
"Easy for you to say. You don't have to sit through it." I roll my eyes. "The owner was there and she is a old lady and she kept rambling on and on about love and finding the right person."
"Shouldn't you love that since you know, you found love." Niall asks confused.
"I guess, but I mean just because I'm in love that doesn't mean I revolve around you." I'm not like Rae. "You aren't the center of my universe."
"Wow, you say the sweetest things to me." Niall looks away from me. "I thought we were over this one step forward two steps back. I guess you will always be scared to commit."
Niall stands up, grabs his crutches, and slowly walks away. I wait a few minutes to figure out how to fix this. I then walk into Niall's room and find him sitting on his bed. I internally groan. Everything was fine until Niall told me that he loved me while he was trying to do it with me.
"Niall, that's not what I meant." I walk over to him and sit next to him.
"What did you mean then, Jess?"
"You know, everything was fine until this morning." I wasn't going to bring this up, but I'm listening to my gut.
"Until I tried to make love to you?" Niall causally asks.
"Ew. Don't say make love." Its weird when he says that.
"Why? We are in love so it is making love," Niall explains.
"Sex is just sex. There are never any feelings other than lust involved." I immediately feel like I'm being too honest.
"You are wrong. Sex can be more than just lust and how it feels. It can show someone how much you love them." Poor Niall is delusional.
"Niall, I think we both know that I have had a lot of sex and I can promise you that no one has had sex with me just to show me how much they love me. It is always pure lust." Sex and love don't mix.
"That's because you haven't had sex with me." Niall looks over at me. "Let me show you what it can be like."
"You have waited so long. You shouldn't do it with me just to prove me wrong." I would gladly do it with Niall, but I want to make sure he won't regret it.
"Jess, it's not like I'm a virgin and besides I know you are the only person I'm supposed to be with so it's fine if we don't wait." Niall leans in close.
"Are you sure?" Niall simply nods his head yes. "Okay, well just let me know if you want to stop."
Niall smirks at me. He is clearly amused at how I'm treating this. To me it's just sex. It isn't going to be special or mean anything. The only way that it's going to be different is that I'm having sex with someone who isn't experienced. In all honesty, the sex probably isn't going to be all that great. I'm not worried though. You can teach someone how to be good in bed.
I lean into Niall and our lips touch. The fireworks in my stomach go off like normal. Niall softly kisses me and I let him take the lead. Niall grabs my hand and holds it while we kiss. It's a sweet sediment, but after ten minutes of just making out. I detach my lips from Niall's lips and move my lips to below his ear. I then kiss down his neck. I go back up his neck to his lips. I softly bite his lip and that seems to get Niall more aware of what's happening. He pulls me on top of him as he lays down. As I straddle him I bring my hands up to his hair. The longer Niall and I kiss the more confident Niall becomes. I feel him playing with the the bottom of my shirt. I sit up and pull off my shirt. I'm glad that I don't have a tank under my shirt. It always makes the process longer. Once my shirt is off I watch as Niall stares at me. I smirk as I drop my shirt to the ground. Part of me feels bad for Niall, because he has to be figuring out that this is just lust. I then grab Niall's shirt and pull up and over his head. I reach behind my back to unhook my bra, but Niall stops me.
"Let me do it." Niall grabs my hand and moves it away from my back.
He sits up and brings his hands to my back. I sit quietly as Niall tries to unhook my bra. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. Niall struggles a little more and then eventually gets my bra unhooked. I watch as Niall leans out, but instead of looking at my chest he kisses me. He kisses me with so much passion and love that I hesitate for a moment. When Niall starts to leave a trail of kisses down my neck I realize how wrong I am. We haven't even had sex and I can notice how different this sex is. Niall is kissing me softly, but with so much passion. Each one of his touches are gentle and remind me of how much he loves me. I'm sitting here topless and he hasn't tried to look. Niall is just focused on us. I pull Niall closer to me so our chests are pressed together. Niall's muscles tighten up at the contact, but he soon relaxes. Niall's hands move to my waist and he stays still. He is waiting for me to make the next move.
"What do you want to do Niall?" I want him to make the next move. I got us topless. It's his turn.
"I, um, uh." Niall glances down nervously and he remembers that I'm topless and he looks up. He is so nervous that I laugh. "This isn't funny. I have no clue what I'm doing. I have had sex with one girl and we didn't do it enough for me to get good. I don't know what I want to do next. Do I rip off your pants and go down on you?"
I burst into laughter at Niall's question. He really doesn't know what to do. I'm sitting on top of him topless and all he can think about is what he should do with my lower region. I guess he has never watched porn. Ugh, that makes me love him even more.
"First rule, don't ever talk about another girl you have been with and I mean ever. I don't want to hear about you with any other girls. Second rule, just follow your gut." I think of Marie and chuckle. "I am sitting here topless. What do you want to do? What don't you want to do?"
"Not talk about any other girls ever or just during sex?" I glare at Niall and he nods his head. "Got it, never talk about them. Well, it isn't them, it is just a her, but I get it." Niall pauses and then says, "I know girls like when guys go down on them, but what if I'm not comfortable with that? I will do it if-"
I cut Niall off by placing my pointer finger up to his lips. I smile at him and let him take a few breaths.
"Relax. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to taste all this then fine." I wave my hand over my pants and Niall blushes. "But I do expect it in the future. You know, when you are comfortable." I laugh and feel like such a man right now. At least I am a understanding man.
"So I should just do what I want?" I nod my head yes. "What if you don't like what I'm doing?"
"I will let you know and if I do something you don't like tell me." I smile at Niall. "And if you do want me to do something let me know. Oh and how are we going to do this with your bummed knee?"
"I mean you could just do all the work." Niall smirks as I raise an eyebrow. "Just kidding. I think this bed is tall enough that-"
I cut Niall off again, but this time by me kissing him. Just the idea of us having sex in any position is enough foreplay for me. I break our kiss long enough to carefully pull Niall's boxer briefs and sweats off. When I'm done with that I look up at Niall. He sits on the bed confidently. At least he isn't nervous about being naked. I look up and down his body and understand why he is confident. Is Niall the biggest I have seen? No, but he is on the bigger side.
I put my hands on my waist and say, "well, well, well, Mr. Horan, you have been keeping things from me."
"Come here." Niall leans out and grabs my hand. He pulls me close enough that I'm standing in between his legs. He slowly unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down. When they hit my ankles he looks up at my panties. I'm so glad I wore sexy underwear today. A black lace thong is always a good choice. "What are you wearing this for?"
Niall swallows hard and I chuckle.
"They are my favorite," I admit.
"Mine too." Niall surprisingly places his hands on my hips and has me slowly spin in a circle. When I am facing him again he pulls the thong down. I notice that he doesn't sit and stare. As soon as the thong slides down my legs he pulls me on top of him. "Why did we wait so long?"
Niall doesn't let me answer him. He crashes his lips to mine and rolls us over so he is on top of me. As his lips move to my neck, then my collarbone, and then my chest I sigh. I have never felt this content and safe with anyone. Niall's kisses softly touch my skin and goosebumps arise. I have never had that happen. Niall's hands slowly come up to my chest and I smile. He is finally calming down and doing what he wants. He clearly doesn't know exactly what to do as his hands roam over my chest and softly graze my nipples and then quickly move away from them.
"I'm not sitting here and judging you or comparing you to anyone so don't worry. I am just enjoying this huge moment with you." I smile once again.
Niall kisses me again, which tells me that he needed to hear that. I should have said it sooner, but I was a caught up in this moment. Our kissing gets more heated as Niall's tongue moves against my lip. I open my mouth to let his tongue in. We stay like this until I can't take it anymore. His little friend is pressing into me and I can't ignore it any more. I push on Niall's shoulder and he understands that I want him to roll over. We roll so Niall is on his back and I am straddling him.
"Ready?" I quietly ask.
"Do we need a condom?" Niall asks as he looks around. He starts to get nervous before I can answer. "I don't think I have any."
"Its okay. I'm on birth control." I then realize I should tell him not to worry even though I have been with a lot of guys. "And don't worry. I use to get tested every six months and I'm clean. I stopped getting tested, because I stopped having sex. I was a slut, but I wasn't a dumb one."
"I trust you." The words coming out of Niall's mouth sound foreign to me. I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before.
"I love you so much." I just kind of blurt the words out, but I needed to say it. Niall is it for me. Whatever fears I have aren't enough to keep me away from him.
"I love you too so much." Niall quietly responds.
I look at Niall one more time before we cross this invisible line that we won't be able to uncross. Niall nods giving me the go ahead. I don't wait any longer and move so he is finally inside of me. We both sigh at the relief. At first I try to focus on him as I move, but the feeling is too good that I end up closing my eyes. Niall keeps his hands on my thighs most of the time, but every once in awhile they move up to my breasts.
I want to pinch myself, because I feel like I'm dreaming. I never thought that I would have this chance with Niall. I never even thought that he would fall in love with me, but here we are. Two people madly in love and finally showing each other how much they truly care. As long as I'm with Niall nothing else matters.
***
I wake up the next morning and the events from last night come rushing back to my mind. I can't stop thinking that they were a dream. I open my eyes to see Niall sleeping next to me. I move the comforter off him just to see and when I find him naked I smile. Last night wasn't a dream. We finally had sex. After a very long time we were finally together or as Niall likes to call it. We finally made love. I lay here for a second and think about last night. The way he kissed me. The way we touched. The way he watched me orgasm and then how he hopped off the bed and pulled me by my ankles so I was nearly off the bed. He kept saying that he didn't want me to do all work and he definitely did his fair share. Me sitting on the edge of the bed while Niall slowly moves in and out of me is definitely a position we will see again.
Before I work myself up too much I slowly climb out of bed. I walk over to Niall's dresser and grab one of his t-shirts. I put it on and then look at the floor to see if my phone is anywhere. I can't find it and then remember me leaving it in the living room. I leave the bedroom and walk into the living room. I find my phone on the coffee table and grab it. I find two missed calls from Rae. I call her as I walk into the kitchen to make coffee and tea.
"Its about time you wake up." Rae says instead of hello.
"Hello to you to sunshine." Wow, I sound way too happy.
"Why are you so happy? Did you finally get laid?" Rae bluntly says and I'm shocked. She never talks like this. "Who are we kidding? Niall is a bigger prude than me. Anyways, are you still good to go with me at eleven?"
I look at the clock and see that it is almost ten thirty. Shit. I better move fast. I walk into the kitchen and grab everything I need for coffee and tea.
"Uh. Yeah. Of course. I was just going to make some coffee and tea and then I will be ready." I am such a liar.
"Liar, but okay. I will come and pick you up. Harry is coming with me. He wants to hang out with Niall. His mom left this morning and I think he just doesn't want to be alone." Rae is being so not like Rae. This is the meanest I have heard her. I know it's not mean, but coming from Rae it is mean.
"That will be great. Niall will," I hear the sound of crutches and I stop talking and look up. I see Niall walking into the living room with just boxers on. I smile and then say, "love that. See you guys soon."
I hang up and look at Niall. He looks tired, but happy. I smirk at his sleepy grin. I'm sure he is happy. Who knows how long it's been since he has orgasmed before last night.
"Rae and Harry are coming over. Rae is picking me up for some more dress shopping and Harry wants to come hang out." I smile even though I wish that we could just go lock ourselves in the bedroom.
"Let's just tell them that we are sick and we can stay in bed all day." Niall pouts and walks over to me.
"I want to do that just as badly, but we can't. I promised Rae I would go." I lean in and give Niall a quick kiss.
"Why are you so nice? Just ditch her." Niall nods his head, agreeing to his own statement.
"I'm not nice." I guess that's not completely true. "Well, I'm only nice to you and a handful of people, but I have to go. Tonight though, you and me in the bedroom for the rest of time. At least until I have to go finish my book tour."
I quickly leave the room as Niall yells, "noooooo!"
I scurry around the room grabbing clean clothes. This is a way nicer place so I grab a blue summer dress with white polka dots and a lower v neck line. I slide it over my head and then grab some white sandals.
I then run into the bathroom and see that my hair is a mess. Thank you sex hair. I comb it and do my best at a high ponytail. My hair looks so full that the pony actually works. I add some make up, but not as much as I would like. There just isn't enough time. I put a little bit of foundation, mascara, and eye liner. I leave the bathroom and walk back into the bedroom to grab my purse. I then run out of the bedroom to the kitchen where Niall is. I smile when I see him.
"Don't you clean up nice," Niall jokes. "And look at that dress. Your taste in fashion has changed."
"What can I say? Rae has rubbed off on me." I laugh at how true it is.
"I like it. I think you should come over here and let me get a closer look." Niall smirks as he taps the counter.
I'm actually really shocked at how Niall is acting. I really thought there would be some regret or nerves about last night. Niall clearly was ready to take things to the next step. He really wants to marry me.
"Easy there tiger. We have people showing up any minute." Niall rolls his eyes as I say this.
"Who cares. Does it really matter if they walk in on something?" I think I like this side of Niall.
"Seriously?" I might take him up on that offer. The doorbell rings and I laugh. "Maybe next time." I walk over to the front door and open it to find Harry, Rae, Louis, and McKenna. "McKenna, what are you doing here?"
"My flight got delayed and Louis begged me to come here so I switched my flights around. I got in this morning and Louis said that Niall has the best black out curtains." McKenna smiles nervously. She probably feels like she is imposing.
"Yes he does. Come on in and I will show you. The rest of you make yourself at home. Niall is in the kitchen." I wave at everyone else as my only greeting.
"Is this Niall's house or did you move in and take over," Louis teases.
Niall comes walking in where everyone can see him and says, "It's our place."
"What?" All of our friends say at once. I may have said what as well.
"I'm just joking. Come on guys. You can tease us, but we can't tease you?" Niall laughs.
"Let me show you that room before anyone else makes a joke about my life." I look at McKenna and walk away. She follows me into one of the guest bedrooms. I turn on the light and then walk over to the closet. "There is a button right here that you press and the curtains close. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Make this place your home. Oh man, I do act like this is my home."
"Well it's going to be after the tour, right?" McKenna smiles at me.
"I don't know. This isn't my favorite. Maybe I will make Niall move." I laugh at the idea.
"Whatever you want. You could have a place in New York and here." McKenna is right.
"Good thinking." I nod my head.
"You should probably go. Rae seemed pretty annoyed earlier. She kept saying that she was going to be late."
"Right. See ya later. Sleep well." I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. I walk down the hall and find Niall in the same spot before I left. I walk over to Niall and give him a kiss and a hug. "I will see you later have fun."
"Here is your coffee." Niall hands me a mug.
"Thank you." I grab it from him and kiss him once more. I turn around and look at Rae. "Ready to go, Rae?"
"Yeah." She sighs. "Bye everyone."
She waves and walks outside. I look over at Harry and he mouths "hormones". I laugh at his explanation. I nod my head and then follow her outside. We walk to the car quietly. Once we are both in the car with our seatbelts buckled Rae starts the car and she starts chatting away.
"Sorry for being so rude and quiet earlier. I don't want Harry to know that I have found my dress! I'm not telling him until we go back to New York." Rae comes to life as she talks.
"Okay," I laugh. "Are you excited for this big fancy store?"
"Yes! I have worked with them a ton during my internship. You get to sit back on comfy chairs and sip on wine." Rae is so happy now.
She just chats away about all the dresses she found online last night that are at this store. I happily listen to everything she says, which is a lot. She talks nonstop until we get to the store. I just nod my head and listen. I honestly dont even know what she is talking about half the time. She is talking so dang fast. I'm relieved when we get to the store. Just like yesterday she leads the way and tells them her name. They lead us to our own little corner of the store.
"Hi Rae! It is so good to see you again!" A girl who looks to be in her thirties greets us. She is in all black, which I find super weird. Her black hair is in a slick back ponytail. "What kind of dresses are you looking at and is this Jess? Where is your mom? You always said your mom would be coming."
"Yes this is! My maid of honor and best friend Jess. Jess, this is Becky. The best wedding dress saleswoman." Rae debates on mentioning her mom. "My mom couldn't make it. She wishes she could come though."
I honestly don't know if that is true or not.
"And the dresses?" Becky smiles.
Rae starts showing different dresses to Becky. I kind of zone out for however long they talk. Becky then leaves to go grab the dresses that Rae wants. Rae starts talking to me again and what she says shocks me.
"You did have sex, didn't you? I can tell. You have that sex face you always have after you have sex." Rae points at my face.
"I don't have a post sex face." I laugh kind of embarrassed.
"Yes you do and that's it." Rae giggles. "So how was it?"
"It was amazing." I am so glad Rae isn't a virgin anymore. She use to never want to talk about this stuff. "Niall is definitely inexperienced, but it was the best sex I have had. I don't know why."
"Its because you love him. Duh!" Rae smiles at me. "Wait!" Rae's face falls. "Please tell me you used a condom."
"No, but dont worry. I won't get pregnant. I'm on birth control." I tell Rae so she will relax.
"Excuse me ladies, but I just wanted to bring you both some complimentary wine." A different lady hands us the wine.
We both grab our glasses and in unison say, "thank you."
"Aren't you taking antibiotics?" Rae jumps right back into our conversation. I nod my head yes at her as I take a big gulp of wine. Rae sets her glass down. "Well that's how I got pregnant. I had a sinus infection and Harry and I had sex. The antibiotics cancel out the birth control or something. Maybe yours doesn't."
Becky then walks back into the room with three people behind her. Rae turns her attention to them and I spit my wine out back into the glass.
"Alright Jess, you can go sit out by the mirrors and we will be out to show you the first dress in a few minutes." Becky tells me.
I silently stand up in shock and leave. I walk over to the huge couch and sit down. My mind spinning with many different thoughts.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Could I be pregnant?
I mean I know it doesn't happen right away, but are Niall's little sperm racing to get to my egg right now? Am I even ovulating?
Holy hell.
***
A/N
What so you think of that haha? I have been waiting for this chapter to happen. I hope you guys like it! I think there is only one chapter left before the epilogue. I feel like I'm rushing the ending, but I also think it's time for this book to end. I don't know. We will see how I feel after I write the next chapter. For now just keep thinking about how Niall and Jess finally did it and now they might be pregnant.
Please comment and vote!