Where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk? I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts, some superhero, some fairytale bliss, just something I can turn to, somebody I can miss, I want something just like this.
-----
~ J A N N A H ~
-----
I don't know for how long this chain of darkness has bbounded my senses. I don't know whether to make the most of it and revere in it before it wanes and I wake up to the daunting reality of light or fight and break my way out from this indefinite sentence of solitude. I just know that I feel like I'm in some kind of dream that I can't wake up from even if I want to. It feels like those kind of nightmares when you're in fatal danger but you find yourself paralysed and can't run to save your life.
But once in a while, I'd hear indistinct chatters of encouragement, I'd hear the sensation of the heat of light being shone on my face but it still wasn't enough motivation to give me the strength to open my eyes.
I hear distant sounds that though I couldn't recognise, I know to mean a presence near me. I couldn't tell who it was or why they were near me but I just know it wasn't my family, it wasn't anyone I know. I feel barricaded and trapped but no matter the feeling of suffocation I was experiencing now, it was still better than the one I'd felt all those nights when my life had come crashing down after I was seperated from Ahmad. That miserable predicament was gawking at me even in this state of unconsciousness and it is enough to make me want to stay locked up away from this, from everything forever.
The indistinct voices thinned into one and it managed to amplify till it sounded clear and sharp to my ears. I couldn't move and wake myself up nor could I take myself back to that blissful abyss of not possessing any senses at all so I had no choice but to lay still and continue hanging in this line between consciousness and unconsciousness.
"So Sambo's Juliet, Dr Ebele was right, you are looking pretty good today. Looks like we won't be needing these tubes on you any longer. Your inhalation injury has healed so you don't need to be on this breathing machine anymore." though the voice was slurred and it sounded like it was a thousand miles away from me, I could still make out the words he said and somehow, I could comprehend them.
"Now all we want is for you to open your eyes. Come on, Jannah, your family and not to mention your lover boy out there have been waiting for you to get out of this dreadful room for the past week. Come on, you've always been extra feisty with me, you never liked me and you never hesitated to let Zara know it so come on, be that brave girl now and fight your way out of this." the words ceased and were replaced by something my mind remembered to be named laughter and then I realise something else, this voice was familiar, it was someone I know. it was Khalid.
I wanted to ask him where I was, ask him why I couldnt move, but the best I could do even after exhorting all the strength I had in me, was to move my eyeballs under my eyelids.
"Come on, get up! Your legs are doing much better too but it's too soon to say they've healed. Though they're definetly on the right track but the ICU is a nasty place to spend another week in don't you think? So come on now, open those eyes so your parents can stop bugging us doctors like we're some kind of magicians. Not to mention that persistent son of a gun Sambo, I mean not even Yasin could scare him off. This hospital has turned into a film house all thanks to these people of yours. Yesterday, it was a melodrama with Ahmad's mom doing everything possible to drag him out of the hospital after Yasin threatened to finish him off, today it was an action thriller with Yasin beating the crap out of him for not leaving, so who knows what tomorrow will be? A comedy? A romance? A happy ending? I really hope so because I'm tired of this shit. I can't stand seeing Sambo every single day, I cant stand this guilt being rubbed in my face."
There was a long blank silence, either I had zoned out and drowned back into unconsciousness or Khalid had left. But then steadily, his voice rose again, breaking through the stillness with a sharper clearity andl I could sense the remorse and sincerity in his tone and if I had been more sane, I could have said there was also regret laced in his tone.
"He's been good to me you know, we've been no less than brothers, but I turned my back on him and chose Zara over him. I chose to support her and..." I held on but he didn't finish that sentence, he only tsked and changed the subject. "But you know, I really won't lie, I would do that same thing again, and again and again. Love's as selfish as it is evil afterall. But in my case, this facade I've created has outdone itself. I never imagined it would actually be a success but here I am, married to the love of my life for almost a year though it did come with a price; losing my bestfriend. Did he mention to you by any chance that I got him drunk? No?" he laughed darkly but also fondly.
"You and whatever it is you've done to him have really done a huge number on him. I mean all my time with Ahmad Sambo, I've never ever successfully gotten him to touch a single drop of liquor but that night, immedietly I mentioned you, he drained out three bottles of scotch like he was some viking in Valhalla. He got totally wasted and I realised that he was the type that confessed all their deepest darkest shit when they were drunk. He told me stuff I'd rather not know, his tormented relationship with his pops was a fact I was already aware of but his three suicide attempts? That caught me off guard, I always knew he had it rough but not that rough that he'd actually want to kill himself. Then there was that even more depressing detail of Farida dumping him when he turned blind and now, when he's found happiness with you, he had to give you up. He let you go because according to drunk Sambo, he was ruining your life. I don't know exactly how but drunk people don't make sense do they?
"What came after that was more ramblings that I didn't understand but yeah, talks of you and weirdly the colour yellow too, were pretty much the bulk of it. When his confessions were finally over and he passed out, I had to take him back home and definetly that brought back memories of when he did the same for me back in our uni days. Yeah, good times, good times.
"Anyways, I won't be kidding myself anymore and pretending like your brain isn't out cold and you actually can hear everything I've said. But you know Jannah, even though Zara forced me into being part of the team that treated you, there's an advantage to this. I atleast get to have these talks with someone I know won't judge me and think me a villian. Someone who for once would understand that Zara..." again, Khalid didn't finish that sentence, before going on to another "And hey, get this, your breathing machine's taken off and Dr Ebele said that today might just be the day you wake up so today might also be the last installment of these little chats of ours. Sad for me, yay for you, you won't have anyone torturing you with talking about nonsense anymore.
"So where did we leave off yesterday? Oh yeah... I told you about your crazy ex fiance being apprehended for arson. Yep that dude is crazy as hell. He actually got a gallon of petrol and thought he could burn down a whole house with no one noticing? Anyways, you're lucky for not ending up married to that nut case. Being burned on the eve of your wedding day is way better than being burned for the rest of your life.
"Which kind of steers us back to Sambo's case. He's been beating himself up and blaming this whole thing on himself. It feels uncomfortable and awkward running into him everyday and having to talk to him since he really won't let me be without hearing updates on you even though everyday, it's the same thing; medically induced coma, IV fluids intake, this that, blah blah blah. But he's still here eventhough him being anywhere near you would make your brother grant him his deathwish. You know, I feel sorry for the guy... this really isn't how I wanted things to turn out... if only Zara didn't..."
Though I was suspicious why he only trailed off when he mentioned Zara, this time, the mention of Ahmad's name sparks a might and energy in me that makes my efforts to gain back control of my body even more invigorating. But I still couldn't muster the amount that was enough to wake me up. I struggled to pull myself to the surface but I was still drowning deep within and the best thing I could do was concentrate back on Khalid's voice and try to comprehend his words.
"...now, I got the girl yes but I lost a friend in the process. Its a wierd mix of feeling exhilerated and depressed all at the same time. Zara love's me at the price of Ahmad hating me. The ying and the yang of my life. His dad fucked him up, physically and emotionally and when the old hypocrite died, I actually thought he'd get to be normal again. Sure I stabbed him in the back but I still wanted him to be happy and I really was when he left law school for his dream. He has always been an aviation freak and I was glad that what I did was what finally gave him the shove he needed to pursue getting his pilot's license and making a career out of his passion. But then came this news of his plane crashing and him becoming blind. Then you entering into his life only to leave him heartbroken and even more screwed in the head than he already was. He must have the most extreme case of bad luck, no offense to him but that's just what I think. And that's why I feel guilty seeing how he looks absolutely like shit now. I won't be surprised if one of these days he makes his fourth suicide attempt.
"Like my conscious wasn't heavy enough thinking about letting him bare the brunt of everything that happened four years ago. Like it wasn't enough knowing nothing happened between him and Zara and nothing happened between me and Zara either. That Zara herself had..." the pause now was unbearable and I hung on to listen more intently but still, Khalid refused to finish his sentence.
"I drugged the both of them and landed them both in some run down hotel room but I hadn't done anything to Zara before or after that. I may be a top notch ass hole but even I am not so lowly that I'd force myself on the woman I love. I never touched Zara in that way but I certainly created the scene that made Sambo believe that I had and in turn, I made Zara believe that he was her culprit. All in all, creating the mastermind plan that made Zara finally start hating Ahmad and fall for me instead. Good guy or bad guy? I don't give a fuck what I'm called for this but I just know that whatever it is, I am the winner for ending up with Zara as my wife." Khalid suddenly doesn't sound so sincere anymore. Perhaps in this state, I was more sensitive to honesty and I could feel that his tone no longer possesses the truthfulness it did.
"So sleeping beauty, let me just go back to pretending that that dead brain of yours is actually responsive and all my ramblings can actually get to you somehow. So here... I did an ex friend a favour and smuggled this in for you. Its some kind of jewelry? Whatever it is, I'm just the delivery boy so here's your little wierd thing from Ahmad Sambo."
I feel something kept on the back of my hand, and with it, it seemed like all the energy I've been searching for has been granted to me. I suddenly found the strength to flinch my hand and then to lift a finger up and then like a butterfly effect, it surged through my whole body till it made me open my eyes and I found myself to be freed from those shackles of captivity.
"She's up, nurse! Nurse!" I hear an excited Khalid shouting over and over again and I couldn't catch anything else he said as my throbbing head busied itself with adjusting my eyes to the light.
My blurred vision took a long while before it could recognise the world around me. My sorroundings slowly start manifesting themselves into an overly spaced and throughly white painted room that smelled sharply of bleach and chemicals. A pang of panic washes over me when I turn my head from side to side and realise that I was within the confines of a hospital bed. I heard piercing beeps mixed with Khalid's orders of erratic medical jargon directed at the nurse and when I tried to lift my head up to get a better view, a sharp pain in my neck made me collapse back into my pillow.
I took a deep breath and tried to focus more on producing words from my my lips but whenever I attempted to talk, nothing came out. I managed to grip whatever it was Khalid had placed on my hand with the little might my body could afford and when I brought it up to my face, I couldn't even recognise what it was. I took a while peering at it before its shape reminded me that it was an earring and it reminded me again that it was mine. That same ear ring I had lost on that night everything came crashing down at Ahmad's house.
I was confused at why it was here and how it got here but I still couldn't produce any words to ask Khalid. He was still shouting orders at the Nurse before she walked out hurriedly and he started fiddling with all these machines around me.
I suddenly felt a sensation in the lower part of my body and on trying to find out what it was, I decided to move my legs only to find out that I couldn't. I was adamant and when I try harder, I feel this bubbles of pain bursting and coursing through the whole of my lower body, from my thighs down wards.
I was too powerless to produce any reaction except for my hands to ball up the starchy white sheets underneath me and stinging tears to ambush my eyes. Despite the pain in my neck, my curiosity makes me to lift my head in search of my legs and what was causing that pain but all I saw where what looked to be bandaged logs hanging in front of me where my legs should have been.
"Now, now Jannah. Take it easy." Khalid's gloved hand gently eases my upturned head back unto the pillows. "Though I did say your legs are getting better, they still aren't exactly a pretty sight to look at."
My wild eyes shoot up to him and miraculously, I finally find my voice, "Wha-what happe-ned?"
"Well... third degree burns on both legs that caused serious necrosis from your thighs downwards. Skin grafting process is still in progress, we're searching for the place to harvest skin for your autograft, the debridement was a few days ago and most recently, you just got off the breathing machine though you're still on intravenous antibiotics and hydrotherapy." Khalid finishes, looking down at me and I return his look of concern with one that says I have no idea what you just said.
His medical terminologies have only succeeded in leaving me more confused than I already was and all I understand now is the part he mentioned burns. The memory of that horrific night suddenly comes back flooding to me. It was so vivid that I could see the flames closing in on me and I could feel the smoke chocking me till my body gave out. But all that might have happened next, I have no recollection of.
"Oh okay, you don't understand me." Khalid reads my expression, "But don't worry Jannah, the hard part is done with, you're up which means you'll be fine, you're looking forward to recovery. And most importantly you can leave this lonely room and your family can finally get to see you. They haven't seen you for over a week now."
I breathe heavily, registering his words. I have been here for over a week? My lips feel dry and I moistened them before a question shoves its way out,
"And Ahmad?" I ask slowly, not even knowing where that came from.
"Yes, and him too," Khalid smiles reassuringly at me but I didn't appreciate the pity eyes he shone at me, "You just need to hold on for a little while longer. The nurses will get your burns dressed with an allograft right away and then, you can meet everyone."
Khalid continues buzzing around me and I fail in keeping up with his pace, he seems to disappear for a moment end then reappear in front of me as he busies himself with the multiple equipments around me. My hand squeeze on my lost and found earring and it was then that a fragment of a memory flashed in the depths of my mind. The night Ahmad had told me he was packing and was about to leave to somewhere he said it wasn't in my business to know. So was Khalid telling the truth? How was this earring sent by Ahmad? How was he here if he told me he was leaving since that night that felt like a hundred years ago?
"He is... is he really here? Ahmad...?"
"So this isn't enough proof for you?" Khalid gently unravels my fingers and picks out the earring, "Whatever this is?"
And then, another memory flashes with a deeper intensity in my mind. I remebered everything my subconcious mind had heard just a few minutes ago when Kahlid said he smuggled this for an old friend and even everything before it. And then the pain in my legs and the sense of panic seemed to become the least of my worries.
"If you feel bad about it Khalid, why don't you tell the truth?" my hoarse voice's low volume was barely audible.
"Feel bad about what?" Khalid sounds surprised but I couldn't turn my head to look at him and confirm that.
"You know..." I continue on weakly, not having the strength to explaim to him that I had heard and understood everything he said earlier. "You know what I mean. Tell. The. Truth."
I hear a sigh but nothing else more for a few agonizing moments before I see him leaning over me.
"It's not that easy Jannah, your cousin will never forgive me and she'll probabaly leave me. But that's none of your concern now,you need to focus on nothing else but getting better."
"Please, please..." I take a deep breath to summon every shred of energy I have in my frail body. "Please if you don't do this... if you don't tell the truth, no one will ever believe Ahmad. I promise you Zara will understand, I'll make her... Khalid please... tell the truth..."
Talking made me breathe every breath with more difficulty than I did the last but when Khalid stayed silent and showed no signs of being convinced, I went on to plead with him.
"Please... tell the truth. Please... Ahmad isn't... not his fault... please..."
"No more talking, ssshh" he whispers as he places the non rebreather mask over my nose and mouth. I try to struggle but with every breath I inhale from the mask, I find myslef drifting further and further away until I sink back into the world I've just escaped from.
-----
It's been five days since I was moved out of the ICU and since then, everyday has followed the same routine. Umma and Abba and Yasin being by my side through out and a multitude of relatives and friends visiting and sympathizing at what I still don't fully understand and believe has happened.
I was still in shock at the fact that Faisal was really so inhumane that he actually wanted to burn me alive. I had really underestimated his wicked mindset but I still don't see anything to sympathise with since even though it was in the most unlikely way, I got saved from marrying him. Now, everyone can see the truth about him. He is a deranged and narcissistic human and I couldn't be more thankful for being spared of the awful predicament of being married to him.
The gateman as well as multiple other witnesses all stated that they saw him enter the house with a gallon of petrol and the fire started immediately he left. Which made it a clear case of arson and a murder attempt and even though Faisal got bailed, he still would face a trial in court. His family being incredibly influential, I know it would be hard to convict him but Yasin has promised me times without numbers that he was going to do everything to make sure he got the punishment he deserved.
My whole family, especially Abba, have been behaving extra mild and loving towards me and I know the reason behind that wasn't only the fact that I now have spent almost two weeks in the hospital with two healing burned legs, but because they feel they had caused it. They were in guilt and I know that Abba blamed whatever happened to me on himself.
I have been trying hard to mask my pain, to underplay the extremely painful procedure of changing the dressings on my wounds everyday just so they would be less worried. And when I look down at my legs, I try to hide the disgust I feel when I realise that what I see are actually a part of my body. That this raw and slimy white my skin has peeled into was actually what I'll have to live with as my legs.
They say that with time, the scars will fade but I know that this much damage to my skin won't be healed with time. The wounds might close, yes but they will never be camouflaged into my skin. I know that Where once it was smooth and chocolatey brown in color, will only turn leathery with a disgustingly pale shade of whitish pink.
It was the exact reason why I couldn't even bring myself to insist on Ahmad meeting me. No one said it directly but by their sly conversations, I know that Ahmad was in this hospital every day waiting to see me. It wouldn't even take a lot of pleading to make Abba bend to my wishes of letting him in here but I just couldn't let Ahmad see me in this state.
He couldn't actually see me, I know that but somehow, I just feel that he would sense how appaling these scars have made me and he would be just as disgusted at me as I was at myself. I don't feel beautiful anymore and I know I never will. These marks that will be eternally embedded on my skin have snatched away my confidence and have lowered gravely my sense of worth.
I feel like thinking like this is beyond selfish but I still can't bring myself to let Ahmad anywhere near me in this state. I'm still confused why he was here, why he hasn't traveled away from me just like he told me he would that night and more surprisingly, why he's been in the hospital every single day since I was brought in despite the hundreds of threats I know Yasin might have made to him.
Ahmad doesn't deserve to be treated like this and all because of me. If only Khalid would tell everyone the truth, if only all my attempts to try to convince him and plead with him hadn't been futile then now Ahmad wouldn't have to go through such disrespect. As tormenting as this thought is, I've come to agree with myself on the fact that I only want to let everyone know of Ahmad's innocence not so we could be married, but because he deserved to be treated fairly. He didn't deserve for any one to judge him for a crime he never committed but went on to accept only because he could push himself away from me.
All that he has done, all that facade he had carried out has now made sense to me. Umma had wrongly made him think that his presence in my life would ruin me and destroy my sanity and so, Ahmad sacrificed everything selflessly just for me. I realise that the purity of Ahmad's love could rival even the most virgin hue of white but now, I no longer deserve to be loved with such an intensity.
Almost half of my skin has been unrepairably damaged and looking down at my legs now, the sight of the wet bandages wrapped around them and the band that suspended them up from the bed was even more proof of that.
It was 2 pm and just like every other day, Umma has been with me since we woke up together in the morning. Today, Yasin and Abba seemed to both be busy with urgent matters and they still are yet to visit me for the day. I was glad when my door creaked open and I looked to it, thinking it was my brother or my father but instead, I saw Zuzu.
There was a basket I know must contain some flasks of food in it in her hand as she walks in and greets Umma gingerly. Umma excuses herself, probably in the hopes that me and Zuzu would have a talk that would sort things out between us. I haven't been on the best of terms with my cousin lately for very obvious reasons. The reason being she was the sole cause of why Abba had not accepted Ahmad.
Zuzu smiles at me weakly before running her eyes over my bed ridden figure and her smile turning into a sad one. This was the third time she had visited me since I came out of unconsciousness and I hope like every time, she won't expect that we talk for long.
"Ya jikin? (How are you feeling?)" Zuzu asks with concern laden eyes.
"Da sauƙi (Much better)" I reply, mustering a smile.
"May you get well very soon Jannah. I can't wait to see you up on your feet again."
"I really can't wait too. I'm tired of this rickety bed and smelly hospital." I cringe my nose and we share a laugh for a moment.
"Allah ya isar miki Jannah, (May God avenge you.)" Zuzu says while shaking her head and I know she was referring to Faisal.
The blood in my veins start pumping hotly. If only she hadn't reacted the way she did, then Faisal wouldn't even have come close to doing this but I hurriedly pursued those thoughts away from my mind. Presumptions and what ifs do nothing but poison your mind and accepting everything to be already decreed by The Most High and Powerful is always the healthier and the right was to approach a situation. It was my destiny for this to happen to me and I should even be thankful that I hadn't gotten it worse than this. My burns were only limited to the lower part of my body and though they were third degree, they hadn't done damage to my tissues. They had succeeded in penetrating my layers of skin but they stopped right there.
One of the nurses had told me that the reason my upper body wasn't burned might be because of the jacket I had on. Ahmad's jacket. They suspected that it was fire proof and it was the one thing that saved me from the fire to engulf my whole body in the thirty minutes I was trapped in the flames before I was rescued.
Ahmad's jacket had saved me. But yet, here I was, leaving him in the cold and allowing him to carry a charge that wasn't his. I found my finger to be vacant of the ring he gave me since I woke up in the hospital and I know it must be with the other stuff that were given to my mother when I was stripped of everything I came with and dressed in the ligh5 blue of the hospital overall. I hadn't asked for it because I had no right to wear that ring anyways, Ahmad deserves someone better than me.
I touched the bare skin on my ring finger and the emptiness I feel makes me adamant to at least free Ahmad of this false accusation that has been branded on him. Khalid won't help me, it was clear that no amount of my pleas will change his mind so I had to do it myself. Zuzu was right besides me, even though I feared she would never believe me and our relationship might be unsalvageable after this, I still have to take the risk and tell her everything. I swallow hard and ready myself, keeping my gaze steadily on her face.
"Do you trust me Zuzu?" as expected, Zuzu seems taken aback by the sudden question but after seeing the dire expression on my face, she slowly nods her head, "Do you believe that I will never lie to you? That I will never do anything to cheat you?"
She nods her head with an even more solemn expression and it was then that I exhaled a deep breath out before I started telling her everything, gently, intricately, as if I was untangling an egg from a spider's web.
"I know..." is the first thing Zuzu said to me with down cast eyes. "Khalid had confessed everything to me on our wedding night. I have known since then and-"
"You know?" I gasp in shock and anger, "You actually... you know!? Then Zuzu, why did you do all that on the day Ahmad came to get Abba's permission? Why? You accused Ahmad of something you already knew wasn't true? You were the one that caused all this... why did you do this to me? Why?" I demand in a shaky, exasperated voice and the tears that were stinging my eyes start rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Jannah, I'm sorry... I never knew that something like this would happen..." Zuzu's tone reflected earnest repentance but the fury and hurt in me didn't allow them to affect me. "I never wanted you to get hurt Jannah, I'm so sorry... I-"
"Why then? Why did you do it? Why did you lie like that to everyone? Why did you separate me from Ahmad?" I whisper slowly, not wanting anything but to see the sense in why my own cousin would do something like this to me.
Zuzu hesitated for a long while, perhaps in guilt or shame of what she would say and those feelings might have been what evoked tears in her own eyes too.
"I was... Jannah I was jealous. I was jealous of you." she burst out crying and I turn my head away from her, "I have loved Ahmad ever since we started university. I tried everything possible to get him to feel the same way for me but he never did. I even threw myself at him but he never did anything to me. Do you know how bad it hurts when your woman's pride has been insulted like that? It was like I was absolutely invisible to him no matter what I did." she took a much needed break to wipe her tears and blow her nose but still, my head was turned to the wall on the other side rather than facing her.
"Khalid told me he loved me and by his behaviour towards me, I felt it was genuine. I tried many times to just forget about Yusuf and give Khalid a chance but how could I forget him when every day, he was together with Khalid? I just couldn't and that was when I... I..."
My heart squeezed in my chest, sensing that what she was about to say next were words of grave magnitude and I just had to turn my head back towards Zuzu, looking at her intently and resisting the urge to shake her back to her senses so she would hurry up and tell me what it was.
"That was when I... I made Khalid... I made him..." Zuzu finally speaks up but she takes another annoying and suspenseful pause.
"You made him what!?" I snapped, my patience has drained out low.
"I made him spike Ahmad's drink with a drug and... and I made him bring him to a hotel room. When Ahmad woke up next me, I thought the guilt he felt would make him finally accept me but... he still... Ahmad kept insisting that he didn't do anything to me and everything was Khalid's doing and to stop Ahmad from finding out that everything was actually my plan, Khalid took up the blame." the sobs that she broke out in were hysterical but I didn't try to comfort her, I couldn't bring myself to after everything she had just said.
"I have realised that there's no one who can love me as much as Khalid does. He always supported me even when I was wrong... he stood by me and he protected me. I know he still drinks but agreeing to marrying him was the best decision I ever made in my life... and I was even happy but then that day, that day I saw that it was Ahmad Sambo that you had been talking about all along, that he was the one that had come to your house to ask for your hand, I became jealous and succumbed to the devil's whispers. But Jannah now, now I promise you, I've realised my mistakes and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
I shake my head and raise up my palm to stop her from talking. I just feel weak and in a daze as I continue to stare at her disbelievingly. Zuzu? My own Zuzu has done all this? She has created such a big lie and lived with it for almost four years? She had made not just Khalid's and Ahmad's friendship to fall apart, but she had made mine and Ahmad's relationship fall apart too? And all for what? For unrequited love? For unreciprocated feelings? For jealousy over me? She has been her own culprit all this while but she pretended to be the victim and made two innocent people be looked at as the culprits. She has caused so much damage to all our lives and suddenly, she and Faisal don't seem so different. She even hurt me deeper than these burns Faisal had inflicted on me had.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry Jann-"
"So that means Khalid never spiked your drink?" I ask, interrupting her apology and she nods with great difficulty, "It means he never forced himself on you and he has been lying to Ahmad all this time only to save you from the blame?" she nods again and I release an exasperated sigh.
"How? How do you even sleep at night?" I search her eyes and I found them to be filled with shame and regret.
Zuzu looks away hurriedly and again mutters those useless words to me, "I'm so sorry Jannah. I'm so sor-"
"Don't. Don't apologise to me Zara," me calling her by her name and not the pet name I have given her, emphasised the seriousness of the situation, "You know very well who you need to apologise to and it isn't me."
"I know, and I will. I will tell everyone the truth Jannah. I promise you that now no one will get in the way of you and Ahmad getting married."
Before I produce a reply, Zara stands up to her feet and marches out of the room with a determined gait. She really was going to do it, Ahmad was finally going to be free of all these accusations and I found myself believing that indeed, nothing and no one will stop us from being together this time. Even these scars that have almost persuaded me from yet again, drifting away from him.
I will not give up so easily this time. The sanctity and intensity of Ahmad's love will not be undermined by these scars on my body, his love for me is far greater than them just like my love for him is far greater than his inability to see.
A/N
This is the chapter I put the most amount of work in. I hope they're a lot of dialogue people out here cause this chapter was 80% dialogue 😅
Lyrics from paragraph up above is from yet again another Coldplay song. Yeah you can tell by now that I'm a huge Chris Martin girl (who can resist that mix of attractiveness and musical geniusness?) So those incredible lyrics are from an even more incredible song by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers, "Something Just Like This."