~Tords pov~
"FEAN"
I accidentally yelled as the rope fell from the ceiling fan, the knot had come loose. I fell to the floor, the rope falling too. That hurt my damn neck, I wanted to die, not to fall over and get a bruise I would have to hide. I heard Edd coming up the stairs. I quickly took the rope off my neck and shoved it under my bed. I put my hood up and pulled my strings and knotted them. I didn't know if it had left a bruise or a red mark so I wanted to hide my neck just in case it had.
~Edds Pov~
I head tord swear so I assumed either tom put tacs in his shoe again or he lost something. I then heard a huge thud so I assumed it wasn't tom, I mean unless it was. I decided to check up on Tord. His door was closed so I couldnt see into his room as I usually can. I went upstairs and knocked. on his door, I could hear him scrambling around on his hardwood floor. I knocked one more time thinking maybe he didn't hear me the first.
~tords pov~
"tord? are you ok? I heard a thud and was wondering if your hurt." Edd asked.
yeah, my neck and ass fuckin hurts.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I stubbed my toe on my fuckin desk."
"oh, it not bleeding or anything, right? I can get you a bandaid-"
"no, its fine Edd. I'm fine.."
~(time skip)~
I passed Edd's room to see that he was sleeping. so was Matt, and it looked like Tom was too. I went downstairs to get some wet paper towels just in case I started bleeding to death, I didn't want edd to see the blood in the morning. I grabbed some paper towels, got them wet and went back upstairs. I sat at my desk and grabbed the box cutter from my drawer. I lifted my sleeve to see the pink scars all over my arm and the red crusty gross scabs. I hated the scabs and I hated cutting but it felt so good. It felt good to be able to control my pain. I made a small cut on the bottom side of my wrist. I watched the crimson liquid slowly fill up the cut and leak down my arm.
"one for edd..two for matt.. three for tom.. and four more for being a burden to all of them.."
I should have fucking died. Edd shouldn't have to worry about me and I'm a bad influence on matt. and tom.. tom fucking hates me..-
my thoughts were disrupted by a sound behind me. I turned around to see tom. He was standing in my doorway, fuck my life.
"what are you doing commie." he asked.
I wiped off the box cutter and put it on my desk. I pulled down my sleeve and turned around to see tom leaning on the door frame.
"I'm cutting paper cuz I'm bored."
"uh-huh. if your board then go to sleep."
"I can't sleep. I ran outta the NyQuil shit"
I have insomnia so I can't sleep well and tend to go days without getting enough sleep. Edd makes me take NyQuil because hes scared that not sleeping enough will make me sick.
"Oh. well, why don't ya get off your lazy ass and get some."
"I'm going to get some tomorrow Tomas."
" uh-huh. anyways imma go out to the bar cuz Edds asleep and can't tell me not too."
" k. have fun Jehovah."
" yep. kill yourself before I'm back commie bastard." he chuckled. he was joking, I could tell. but it still hurt having someone you love tell you that.
" all ready on my wish list Tomas"
after tom left I closed my door. I hate my life.
"Maybe I will Tomas.."
I opened up the door and went down to the kitchen. I got the long chef knife we had for a while, and I went up to my room.
"Goodbye Edd, bye-bye matt.. love you Tomas...-"
all I remember at that time is hitting the floor and a sharp pain...