I stuck the needle in my vein, watching it disappear as I felt a slight pain but it soon vanished. I quickly took the needle out then threw it away, turning my attention back to my arm.
I untied the bandanna from around my arm then threw it somewhere before pulling my sleeve down. I looked in the mirror and made sure my hair was ok, and noticed that my face was healing. I sighed as I grabbed my bag from my floor then walked out the door.
Walking down the hall, I instantly smelled food which made my stomach rumble as I approached the kitchen. I saw Jace standing in front of the stove, swaying his hips back and forth as he was slightly singing to a song he was playing from his phone.
I sat down on the counter in time for him to turn around and notice me. He smiles then places a plate in front of me, along with some bacon and a few eggs before turning back towards the stove.
Sliding the plate towards me, I started eating before checking the time on my phone. I had about twenty minutes, which was plenty of time to eat then head over to the college.
After Jace was done cooking, it placed another plate on the counter with more food on it. He sat down across from me then started eating also.
"How are you?" He asks after a few moments of silence between us.
Looking up at him, I could see the worry in his eyes. I told him what happened that night when I came home. I was in a state of anger and I let it all out once I got home and he asked what was wrong.
Finally telling him what I've been dealing with, felt really good and I'm glad I told him but I wish I wasn't angry at the time. It would have been a lot better if I was calm, then I could explain shit better.
It's been a week since I last saw Cameron.
A week since I was at her mom's house and everything turned to shit.
Haven't heard from her since then. She hasn't been to classes neither. I seem to have let it all go though, since it's been a week to forget things that have happened.
"Have you heard from her?"
Shaking my head, I stuck my fork in my egg then mashed it to pieces. I took a bite then downed some milk before standing up.
"I'll text you." I grabbed my bag from the floor.
"I love you. Be careful." He said, once I walked out that door.
I made my usual stop at Starbucks on the way to classes. Jasmine greeted me like always. I acted like nothing was wrong so she wouldn't ask any questions.
"What are you doing this weekend?" She asks, once she hands me my drink.
I look at her. "I'm racing. It's my last race."
Last weekend, I raced and won. Of course. It was pretty easy. The guy was a cocky dumbass with his stupid pick-up truck, which I wasn't even sure if he knew what he was doing.
It was pretty fast and there was a few times where he caught up with me but never passed me. I just left his ass in the dust a few times, then won.
After the races were all over, the announcer had everyone stand together as he announcer the final six people who would be competing in the finals.
I was one, then a few more people that I can't remember. I'm not sure who I will be going against, but I couldn't wait.
"You got this, Micah." Jasmine smiles. "I'll be there cheering you on."
I smiled. "Thanks."
After I left, I headed over to the college with about five minutes left. I made it just in time as I parked then walked into the building, rounding the corner to Mr. Thomas' classroom.
I entered it as soon as it was time for classes to begin, which made me smile to myself then I took my usual seat in front of my computer. Logging on it, I heard Mr. Thomas talk about an upcoming holiday week that we'll be taking.
Focusing my attention over to him, he was standing in front of everyone. "Next week is our one week break, so make sure you have everything turned in to me. Even if it's a few weeks late, turn it in and I'll mark it as a grade."
I didn't have anything to turn in since I always turn my shit in on time. But it was nice of him to do that. A lot of instructors wouldn't even spare anyone the chance.
One reason why I like him.
As class went on, I did random shit on the computer as everyone else was doing assignments that they never turned in. I looked towards the front and saw Mr. Thomas standing at his podium.
I placed my elbows on the table, but even instantly regretted it as pain shot through my arm. I quickly moved them and rubbed my inner elbow where the needle was.
Ever since I left from Cameron's mom's, I sorta been doing shit that kinda helped me in a way but is also messing me up.
I got in contact with my drug dealer again, asked if he had anything that I could shoot up cause the pills weren't really my thing. I wanted something a lot stronger and he suggested that I try this shit that I could shoot through my veins.
Sparing the details, not even saying what it is.
But it's helping a lot. I feel a whole lot better since that day. Although my actions really haven't been too great, but my mind is pretty calm.
Haven't went out and did shit, but I mostly stayed at home and shot up.
Jace doesn't know and he won't find out. I make sure to get rid of any evidence. It would kill him if he found out, so I have to keep it on the down low.
The class time went by fairly quickly. I was thankful cause I literally had nothing to do to the point where it was driving me crazy.
As I was getting up ready to leave, I heard Mr. Thomas ask me to stay back for a moment. After the last student left, I walked over to him as he was standing at his podium, looking at his computer.
"I wanted to show you something." He said, as he looked at me. I nodded as I watched him type something on his computer then turned the screen around.
I looked at it and saw where it had everyone's grades on it. He pointed at my name and I followed the line until I saw my grade, which made me take a closer look.
"You're failing, Micah." He said as he looks at me. "What's going on?"
Looking at him, I could tell he was pretty upset with me. I've been an A and B student ever since I started here. Now, I have an F in his class which is the first time ever.
"Personal reasons. I'm sorry. I'll do better."
He sighs. "You have everything turned in, but it's not the effort I expected from you. Everything is wrong on everything you turn in and I couldn't understand it."
Shrugging, I held onto my bag strap as I looked back at the computer. It sucks to fail, when I was always ahead of everyone else.
But life does that to you.
"You need someone to talk to? I'm here, Micah. Please don't hesitate to talk."
"I'd rather not talk about my personal life. It doesn't matter if we've known each other for years. I don't like telling people shit."
This seems to catch him off guard as he stared at me with complete shock. I've never spoken to him, or anyone like that before, but I just couldn't help it.
I'm tired of shit.
Without waiting for a response, I walked out of the classroom without looking back. I didn't have time to stand there and be interrogated by him when I didn't have to tell him shit about what goes on in my life.
I just don't feel like myself anymore.
Not sure if that's a good thing or not.
Walking down the hall, the next class I had was somewhere I didn't want to be. But I knew she wouldn't be here, so walking in wasn't a problem.
But when I walked in, I glanced over at the front and saw her standing at her podium, looking through papers. I kept my eyes on her as I walked over to my table and sat down as a few people were already sitting down, but more were walking in.
After being gone for almost two weeks, she finally comes back. After not talking to me after a week, she finally shows up unexpected.
I did text Lexie a few days after that day to see how she was, cause I still cared even though she almost beat me to death.
Lexie texted back and said that Cameron locked herself in the room and hasn't came out yet. She was deeply worried about her but didn't know what to do.
After that, I just decided to forget it and start doing drugs to help me ease my mind.
Funny how someone can make you take a turn for the worse in your life.
She always seems to be the problem with what's going on in my life. I haven't been on drugs in a while until she came into my life. I haven't dealt with a fucking moron, like Daniel, until she came around.
It seems like I'm fighting her battles instead of her.
After a few minutes, I heard a few people tell Cameron that they missed her and they were glad she was back. I didn't bother looking up as I was messing with my phone, looking at random shit on Instagram.
"I know I've been out for a while and I apologize. Hopefully you all have been behaving and did your assignments as the other instructors gave you." Cameron's voice echoed off the walls, which still didn't make me look up at her.
After a moment, I heard her walk around the room explaining things to everyone. She told us an upcoming test, along with the midterm then a few other things that really didn't interest me.
As she was walking around, I followed her voice and knew she was getting close to where I was sitting. I kept my head down, looking at the notebook that was laying out in front of me.
She walked through the middle aisle and I looked up at her for a brief moment as she was walking back to the front of the classroom.
The class time insisted of us listening to lectures, taking notes and all that boring stuff. I honestly couldn't wait to leave and go somewhere cause I was itching for another dose.
I took a few notes but I kept my eyes on the notebook. I glanced up a few times to write down what she had written down, but soon looked back down before she looked my way.
I knew that once class was over, I would have to hurry up and leave before we made eye contact and I'd do something stupid that I'd regret.
When class did end, I placed everything in my bag and stood up along with everyone else. I was walking behind this girl when I suddenly came to a stop.
"Micah, can you stay back a minute?"
I look over towards her as she was looking at me. I watched everyone else leave, even Cole as he gave me a look before disappearing out the door, leaving me behind.
Standing in the middle of the classroom, I watched the door shut then my attention went to her. She walked from behind her podium then walked towards the door and locked it.
I've never been scared of anyone in my life, but Cameron is someone who I'm terrified of. Leaving us alone in a room is something I fear the most.
Taking a step back as she was approaching me, she stopped and looked at me for a moment. "Micah," She sighs. "I want to talk to you about.. what happened."
Shaking my head, I started walking around her. "I'm going to be late for class."
She pulls me back with her arm and looks at me as I'm standing in front of her. "There's five minutes between every class, Micah."
I looked somewhere else then sighed. "I don't want to talk."
"We need to."
"Why?"
"Because we both need answers."
Looking at her, she was watching me. I shook my head then looked somewhere else. After a few moments, I heard her sigh.
"Micah.. that day at my moms.. I wasn't in the right mind. I just got out of a painful experience and I'm still dealing with it everyday. I told you that I wanted to see you but I also didn't."
I look at her. "So that gave you the right to beat me?"
She stares at me for a moment. "I didn't mean to-"
"You never do, do you? That time you pushed me down, you said you didn't mean to afterwards. Every single time something like that happens, you apologize afterwards but does that make everything ok? No."
"Micah, you know how I am. You knew all along how I was! You can't expect me to control myself cause I can't!" She looks towards the door before looking back at me. "I'm sorry."
Staring at her, I honestly don't know what to believe. If she was sorry or not, I have no idea because I can never tell if she's being sincere or not.
Pulling up my sleeves, I saw the marks from when she scratched me. They were pretty much still present, even though they were a little faded.
Looking up at her, I saw her eyes look down at my arms. "This is what you did." I harshly pulled my sleeves down, watching her. "I've been abused enough in my life."
Walking passed her, I headed for the door as I heard her yell from behind me. "Micah, please!" I heard her running out of her room, which made everyone in the hall look towards us.
Looking back, she stopped in the middle of the hallway and watched me disappear around the corner.
-
"Do you come here often?" She yelled over the music.
Chugging the alcohol in my cup, I looked at her as she was smiling at me. "Maybe like almost every week!" I shouted.
She moved closer then smiled. "You're cute!" She yelled.
I slighly smiled then took another chug of my drink. I wasn't here to fuck someone, just to drink and forget.
This girl came up to me without warning and started basically talking my head off. She was cute but not my type.
"You wanna have some fun?"
I shook my head. "Sorry, not tonight." I got up and left her as I went to look for some more alcohol.
As I was pouring some alcohol, I heard a lot of noises coming from the living room then the music died down. A lot of people started complaining, then I heard someone that made my heart stop beating.
"Is Micah Brooks here?"
Turning my head towards the entrance, I saw Cameron walk in then look around before locking eyes with me. She walked over to me then grabbed my wrist and pulled me through crowds of people then out of the house and down the driveway.
"What the hell!" I pulled my arm back then looked to see Kim standing at the car. "What are you doing?" I ask Cameron. "How the hell did you even find me?"
"You left without talking to me today. I told you we needed to talk!"
Stuffing my hands in my pocket, I glanced over at Kim as she was standing at the car looking at her phone. I looked back at Cameron and noticed her staring at me, but I couldn't understand what the hell was wrong with her.
"Ok, let me make this clear." I looked at her. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore!" I screamed. "Leave me alone!"
I took a step back and watched her as she stared at me. Not knowing what to expect after, but it was nothing like this.
"Micah, please!" She started crying. "I know I'm fucked up! I've been like this my whole life and I can't help it! I don't mean to hurt you! I even told you I would! You knew what was wrong with me! I never want to fucking hurt you but it's hard to control myself when I'm in my fucked up state!" She screamed.
"I hate my life! I hate it so much that I want to kill myself! I stop myself from doing so because of Brailynn and Lexie.. and you! You're the one who came into my life and made it better! I may not act like it but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't lose you!" She cried.
I watched as she buried her face in her hands, crying so hard that she started hiccuping. She ran her hands down her face and looked at me.
"I love you, Micah. I love you so much! Sometimes I don't even know what to do because it's hard to accept that someone would even want to stay with me! I understand you want to leave because I would do the same, but please.. give me another chance."
Looking down at the ground, my mind was going everywhere at the moment. I didn't know what to do. I knew the outcome would be the same because Cameron always sobers up at she has her breakdown, tells me things that are heartfelt, then she goes back to herself.
The real Cameron.
I looked up at her as she was watching me. I could see the tear stains on her cheeks, her eyes puffy and her face red.
I sigh.
"Will you give me a few days?" I ask.
She nods, without hesitation. "Of course." She looks at me for a moment. "Can I hug you?"
Pressing my tongue against my inner cheek cause I didn't want to smile, I nodded then took my hands out of my pockets as she walks up to me and wraps her arms around.
I loosely wrap my arms around her then heard her sigh. "I love you." She whispered before pulled away. She looks at me then over at the house for a moment. "Are you staying here any longer?"
Looking at the house myself, I figured that I had enough excitment for tonight. I look back at her then shook my head. "No, I'm going home."
"Ok. Text me.. whenever."
I nodded as I watched her walk to her car then took one last look at me before getting in. I watched as she backed out of the driveway then left.
Looking up at the sky, I groaned. "Thank you!"
Getting into my car, I backed away from the house then headed home. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was doing at this point but I always knew I had a messed up head.
But I guess when it comes to her, I always try to see the best in her. No matter how many times I've seen her worst.
I wasn't even sure if I was making the right choice, but I never do.