Adrian
I feel like I've been walking around in a maze during the last week. My mind has been consumed by Sofia and how amazing it felt to spend the night sleeping with her. I was completely serious when I told her it was the best sleep of my life. I surely haven't had a good night's sleep like that in months and I've been craving it ever since. I think it might be the beginning of a life-altering addiction.
I've been trying to wrack my brain for ways to get her to fall asleep with me again without straight out asking her like a pathetic moron, but I come up short every time. I know I'm playing a dangerous game here, but I simply can't get away from the feeling. I also don't want to push her, so I've been trying to give her some space for her to make the next move. But with each day that passes, I get the feeling she isn't going to make one.
I grab my soccer bag from the car and follow Nico and Sofia back into the house after another mindless day at school. Nico enters the house first and I'm tempted to pull Sofia's hand in front of me to try to get her alone for a few seconds. But of course I can't do that and just stare at her instead as I close the door to the garage.
She peeks at me around her shoulder as we reach the hallway and it looks like she's debating something in her head. She turns around quickly and this time I do grab her wrist to stop her. I can't seem to keep my hands off of her even though Nico is two steps in front of us and I could easily get caught touching her. I'm desperately dying to know what she's thinking. I don't know how, but I need to get her alone again.
"Sofia! Oh honey, look at you!" a voice gushes.
I tear my eyes up to see Mrs. Durant standing right in front of us, her face filled with emotion as she takes her only daughter in. Mr. Durant is to her left and I see him look downwards at my hand wrapped around her wrist. Shit, I hadn't even realized I was still holding on to it and I curse at myself for being so fucking careless. I immediately drop it and pray to god that he doesn't kick me out of his house in this instant.
Thankfully he turns his gaze away from me and towards his children, as Sofia and Nico both go to hug them. I stay behind, letting them have their family moment. I can't help but think I'm interrupting something and that I'm imposing by being here.
"Adrian, don't be silly. Get over here," Mrs. Durant says to me as if reading my thoughts.
I walk closer to them and she surprises me by giving me a warm motherly hug. It's the type of hug I haven't felt in a really long time and it gives me a slight chill. I end it quickly and go to shake Mr. Durant's hand. He gives me a stern look at first, but then clasps me on the shoulder.
"How are you, son?" he asks me. It's a simple question, but he's still very intimidating as he asks it.
"Good, how was your trip?" I quickly reply as I go to stand next to Nico and as far away from Sofia as possible.
"Too long, like usual," he answers.
"Look at you handsome boys and my beautiful girl," Mrs. Durant interrupts, looking in between the three of us. It still feels a bit surreal being included in their family like this. Like I'm a lost adopted son or something, but I'll still take it over nothing any day.
Mrs. Durant goes to hug Sofia again. "Oh honey, I've missed you so much."
"I missed you too," Sofia responds quietly.
"Well, I hope you are all hungry. Carmen is making a wonderful dinner for us. It should be ready in an hour," she says enthusiastically.
They continue in small talk and I politely excuse myself to my room. I need to regroup and prepare myself mentally for this dinner. I hadn't expected the Durants to be home and it's throwing me off balance. Sometimes I even forget they live here as they'll be gone for so long, but their presence is a wake up call to my Sofia induced dream state.
If they knew I was chasing after their daughter in their own home after trusting me enough to let me stay here, I would be on the streets in two seconds. Guilt wracks through me, especially after the promise I made to Mr. Durant. It was more like the conditions of my stay, but at the time I easily accepted them not thinking much of it. But apparently Mr. Durant seems to know me better than I do myself.
I really need to get my shit together and forget about Sofia. I know I need to stop this thing, this idea of us that I have in my head, and not let it go any further. That was in the past and things are different now. I should be mad at her for Christ's sake, but I can't even bring myself to be that anymore. She's just so vulnerable all the time, and I find myself easily falling into the same pattern of wanting to protect her.
I realize I've been wallowing in my room for at least half an hour so I go to the bathroom to clean up a bit, deciding I need to look presentable for this dinner. I take off my jersey and shorts from practice and take a quick shower. I've just slipped on a pair of jeans when I hear a knock at my door.
Thinking it's Nico, I go to open it but instead find Sofia staring at my bare chest with wide eyes. I slowly raise an eyebrow at her as she hasn't said anything yet. She's never been remotely close to my room before, let alone knocked on my door, so I don't know what she's doing out here.
"Um. Dinner is ready," she tells me, her cheeks slightly flushed.
Oh, right. "Okay, thank you. I'll be right there."
She nods and quickly turns to leave. I almost stop her, wanting to talk to her a bit more, but I shake my head and go back to my closet to find a damn shirt. I really need to separate what I want to do with what I should do when it comes to her. Fuck. This dinner is already making a complete mess out of me.
I'm a nervous wreck by the time I reach the dining room. Mrs. Durant is all smiles and she indicates for me to sit next to Sofia at the table. Is she crazy? I look towards Mr. Durant in hesitation, who is sitting at the head of the table, but he doesn't seem to care as he's in a conversation with Nico. I go to sit next to her and try my best not to look at her. If I manage to ignore her for the remainder of the evening, I still might have a bed to sleep in by the end of the night.
"So Sofia, are the boys treating you okay now that you're back?" Mrs. Durant asks her.
I know it's an innocent question, but my palms immediately start to sweat. Even Mr. Durant stops talking to Nico to hear her answer and I feel him staring in my direction.
"Yeah," she says staring down at her empty plate.
I can't help but think that her answer is not true. Both of us haven't been exactly nice to her for the most part and I feel like the biggest asshole for not being more welcoming towards her when she first arrived.
She takes a sip of water and I notice she's as nervous as I am. "Nico helped me with my schedule and Adrian helped me with my calculus homework."
"That's wonderful, dear. Adrian, I didn't know you were a math whizz," Mrs. Durant smiles at me.
"Me neither," I reply and she laughs.
Carmen enters the room and sets a bunch of deliciously looking plates down on the table. She's made all of Sofia's favorites; filet mignon steaks covered in bacon, mashed potatoes au gratin, and a mozzarella and tomato salad. I swear the woman could be a five star chef at her own restaurant.
"Adrian, please start and serve yourself," Mrs. Durant tells me. "So what else has happened around here? Anything new?"
I know she's just trying to make conversation, but every single question seems more incriminating than the next. I pick up the mashed potatoes first and start filling my plate.
Hmm. Let me think. Sofia fainted the day she arrived, I acted like a caveman around her for the next few days, Nico got into a fight with Ruiz and practically checked out ever since, I almost got a concussion during soccer practice for staring helplessly at Sofia, then she threw up in the middle of the night, and now I'm sort of sleeping with her on the couch in the TV room. Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.
"Nothing much. Just practice, that kind of stuff," Nico answers, giving me a pointed look. As if I would voluntarily give out any type of information.
His vision turns to Sofia and I realize I subconsciously filled her plate with food too. That's the reason for his look. Dammit.
"Thank you," Sofia whispers politely as Nico practically rips the dish I'm holding from my hands.
Mrs. Durant smiles at me and I notice Mr. Durant looking curiously at Sofia while she picks at her food.
Luckily I don't make any other mistakes like that and manage to ignore Sofia while her mother carries the conversation during the remainder of the dinner.
I excuse myself as soon as I deem it's appropriate and head back towards my room. I'm sure the Durant's would like to have family time on their own without me anyway.
I find myself going into the game room instead and head directly to the bar. Before I know it I'm pouring whiskey into a tumbler. I'm not one to drink that often, and especially not alone, but for some reason my body feels like it needs alcohol. I decide to have it neat and take a slow sip, letting it slowly burn down my throat. I instantly feel a bit warmer and will myself to relax.
I head over to the pool table and pick up a stick. I've never considered myself to be very good at this game, but I can hit some decent shots every once in a while. The balls are already perfectly placed inside a black wooden rack on the table so I lift it up and toss it to the side. Even the white ball is already aligned to hit the break.
I bend over and line up to take the shot and hit it as hard as I can. The crack that emits in the room rings in my ear as the balls scatter around the table, but only one of them drops into the far pocket. I go to check it and see that it's the seven ball. Solids it is, although I sure as hell am not feeling lucky.
I reach for my whiskey and take another slow sip, contemplating which ball I should take on next. There are a few solids placed near pockets, but I think it might be easiest to leave those for last.
"Pool for one? That can't be fun."
I jump at the sound of Nico's voice behind me. The whiskey swooshes around in my glass, nearly topping over from my shaky hands. Shit, I must be in worse shape than I thought. I didn't even hear him come in the room.
"Damn, Adrian. Drinking alone too?"
I shrug at his curious glare. "Just felt like having a drink. You want one?"
"No man, I'm good. Ana is supposed to call me in a bit. I'll play you a game though. What do you have so far?"
I raise an eyebrow at that information, especially the way he just said it so casually mixed in with the game. "Just the seven. Was about to take my second shot," I tell him. "So you guys are finally talking again?" I add incredulous.
Nico looks up at me and I can tell he's holding back a smile. "Yeah, it just sort of happened I guess."
I look at him skeptically. "Sort of happened? So you just didn't man the fuck up and call her like I told you to months ago?"
He snickers and goes to grab a stick on the wall rack. He picks up some blue chalk and sharpens the cue with it for a while before he says anything. "Yeah, I suppose you can put it that way as well."
I laugh and shake my head while I take my next shot and miss. I still can't believe he finally called her. "Never thought I'd see the day. That's great, bud," I say almost like a proud father and clasp his shoulder.
"Yeah, well let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're just talking. I still don't know if we'll be able to move past it or if she'll ever forgive me." He says that last part so quietly and dejected that I can tell it's still as much as a fresh wound for him as it was months ago.
"Yeah, well at least it's a start, right?" I offer, trying to sound optimistic. He's right though, I don't know if they'll ever forgive each other for what happened.
"What about you, man? I haven't seen you hooking up with any girls lately," Nico says.
He clearly doesn't want to talk about it anymore as he changes the subject towards me. I watch him take a couple shots and he makes them all quite effortlessly. He's always been a much better pool player than I am.
"I don't know. Guess I'm on a dry spell or something," I respond, trying to make a joke out of it.
But that's obviously not the reason. Sofia is. Since she's been back, I haven't even thought of another girl. I used to crave it, just to have something to feel instead of the void, but now that she's here I realize that all I ever wanted was to feel her.
"Maybe word finally got around that you're a terrible lay," Nico jokes.
"Yeah, maybe."
In all honesty, I probably am. I know I am. I'm incredibly selfish when I hook up with girls. To be fair, they are the ones that come onto me probably just to say they screwed the captain of the soccer team, so they definitely know what they're getting into. I barely touch them or even look at them and just let them do all the work while I try to imagine it's Sofia with me instead.
I know, pathetic. The worst part is that it never works because deep down I know it wouldn't feel that way with her. With other girls it's just going through the motions, but with her I know it would be incredible.
"We should go out," Nico suddenly says. "We haven't been out since our last match. I've been meaning to ask Ana out, but I think a group setting would be better so it doesn't seem like a date and it's less pressure. I could really use a wing man if you're up for it, and then afterwards you can just let the girls come to you like they usually do."
I chuckle at his words. He's obviously been planning this for a while. But the idea of hooking up with random girls is not at all appealing to me. Maybe I can rework this to my advantage while helping him out.
"I think you might be onto something there. Although we should probably have another girl out with us so it's not so obvious."
Another girl obviously meaning Sofia. Hopefully he'll catch on to it and I can make it seem like it was his idea. I know I really shouldn't be doing this, but the idea of a night out with Sofia is way too tempting. I could probably get her to loosen her guard a bit, maybe even get her to dance with me, wrap my arms around her ... shit I'm already getting way too excited just thinking about it. Fuck my week of playing Debbie Downer on myself, this is a million times better.
"You think?" Nico says surprised.
"Yeah, that way it'll be more of a buffer and maybe Ana feels more comfortable that way."
"You're right, that makes sense. I hadn't thought about that," he responds looking worried all of a sudden. "What about Clara? You want to invite her?"
"No, dude. That girl is a stage four clinger. I wouldn't be able to get rid of her all night."
"So? She's hot and she's into your shit for some reason," Nico protests.
"I'd rather it be someone I haven't hooked up with. You know I don't like hooking up with the same chick twice and then it'll just be awkward for me because they'll think I want something more. Someone neutral would be better."
"Well who the hell have you not hooked up with? It's a pretty small pool," Nico points out.
I shrug at him. Sofia. I haven't hooked up with Sofia. The only girl I've ever really wanted. Do I have to spell it out for him? I really don't want to suggest it because then he'll know what I'm up to and he's already suspicious as it is. At least the girl cover has detracted from it lately.
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe it wasn't a good idea," I finally tell him.
I try to hide my disappointment and consider just mentioning her name in passing. I could mention something about earlier today but I don't need to remind him of my stupid slip when I served her dinner which he was clearly displeased about. But I need to plant the seed somehow. Jeez, trying to pull an Inception on someone is a lot harder than I thought! No wonder DiCaprio had such a hard time during the movie.
Nico sighs heavily, not liking the idea of me backing down either. He looks at me, and I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. C'mon Nico, think. You can do it. I know you can. I see the moment it finally clicks and it's the first time I've ever believed in divine intervention.
"What about Sofia? You don't suppose she'll want to come out with us, do you?" he asks hesitantly.
Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I could seriously kiss him right now. I turn around from him, desperately trying to hide my pathetic victory smile, and study the table pretending I'm thinking about my next shot. Inside I want to do a ridiculous jump in the air like in Anchorman when Ron and the gang go buy new suits to get out of their 'spiritual and existential funk'.
"We can try ..." I offer lamely. "I mean, they used to get along, right?"
"Yeah, actually Sofia would be perfect," he says, his entire face lightening up. "I just don't want to push her to go out if she doesn't want to."
"Maybe it'll be good for her, too. She needs to get out more and stuff," I shrug.
"That's true. So you're okay with this, then?"
Hell yeah. More than okay. "Yeah, I don't mind. If it'll help you out." You and me both, buddy. This is such a win-win situation I couldn't have planned it better myself.
"God, I can't believe I didn't think about this sooner," Nico says shaking his head.
"Yeah, it's a great idea you just came up with there, bud," I try not to smirk.
"Do you think you could tell Sofia the situation and ask her? I just hate reliving that shit and I know she's gonna ask a million questions and I don't want to talk about it or end up yelling at her again. Besides, she seems to like your sorry ass more than mine these days and that's saying something," Nico muses.
I try not to grin at his insight. "Fine, I'll talk to her," I say, almost making it seem like a chore. Obviously I can't wait. "But just because it's this and I know how you get. But you really should reach out to her more on your own. I think she still prefers her protective asshole brother over the mental patient."
"Yeah, yeah. I get it, dickhead," Nico says waving a hand dismissively at me.
He's about to line up his next shot when he stops and reaches for his phone in his pocket, suddenly looking nervous as hell. "Shit, it's Ana. I need to take this."
"Good luck, bro."
Without saying another word, he drops his cue stick and rushes out of the room to answer the call as if it were the president himself. I laugh as I take another sip of my whiskey. I'm truly happy for him and I really hope he can work out things with her. The same way I really hope I can work out things with Sofia.
I put the pool sticks back in the wall rack and then head back to the bar to top off my drink. I leave the game room feeling a hell of a lot better than when I first came in and head towards the TV room downstairs. I don't want to push my luck, but maybe she'll finally decide to come join me tonight.