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Thomas had never run so fast in his entire life.
He knew the hospital by heart. Thank god he did. He knew right away where he had to go.
He only had to climb two floors. No time to wait for the elevator. He'd just run there.
He received the call five minutes before lunch break. Two minutes ago. 11.57. The hallways were busy at this hour, lots of doctors walking off to their lunch break, patients going down to see their families.
"Thomas, it's Newt. We just got here at the hospital, they're taking him for an MRI-"
Words collapsed in his brain as he tried to make his way between everyone, running as fast as he could. It felt like worry would eat him all up, the world going too fast around him, and somehow too slow at the same time.
He noticed patients and nurses staring at him as he bounced into people in the stairs, trying to mumble 'sorry' as he did, not having time to slow down.
''Anita! Newt!" Thomas yelled as he finally pushed the doors opening on to the MRI unit. There they were. Here he was.
Thomas ran down the hallway, his eyes going back and forth from Anita to the hospital bed.
''Thomas," Anita said, her voice low, as he stopped by the bed. His heart missed a beat as he saw Newt, lying in the bed, unconscious. He reached for his hair with a trembling hand.
He watched, out of breath, an invisible fist squeezing his lungs. He had blood on his face, running down his temple, going into his ear, into his hair. Dried blood on his nose and swollen lips. On his hands.
''Wh..What..What happened ?" Thomas breathed out, still looking at Newt, who wasn't moving an inch. His hands were as shaky as they could be, lingering over Newt, wanting to touch but not wanting to hurt.
He looked up at Anita when he heard sniffles. She held a tissue, her eyes red and puffy.
''He, uh..," she began, "someone at school did this to him," she said, squeezing Newt's arm.
Thomas blinked as his eyes started to sting.
''What about Minho? Why wasn't he there?" Thomas asked, suddenly feeling angry at Minho. He knew it was wrong to be angry at him, but he didn't know what to do with all of his feelings right now. ''Minho was supposed to protect him," he said, clinging at the bed bar.
''Minho was there," Anita said, calm, "he was taken to the police station with the others. To testify," she said, trying to sound strong.
''We have to take him now," a nurse said, pointing toward the door -- Thomas looked back and saw a neurosurgeon running toward them.
''M'am, could you please sign a few papers?" an other nurse said, giving Anita an apologetic smile.
Thomas watched as Anita followed the nurse to the desk, the world stopped and silent around him. It's only when the bed started moving and his hands slid from the bar that he came to his senses.
''I'm coming too," he said, quietly, walking towards the MRI room.
''Sorry, doctors only," the nurse said, not facing Thomas as he rolled Newt's bed inside the room.
Thomas grabbed his arm to make him turn around. His mind was going a mile a minute.
''I'm his doctor too," he quickly said, snatching his badge from his pocket. ''Look," he added, dead serious, showing his badge to the nurse.
The nurse looked annoyed. ''Okay then, let's go," he said. They both walked into the room, pushing the bed, which was soon taken by the neurosurgeon and an other nurse into the room directly connected to the one they walked in.
Thomas knew he couln't go further, so he stayed behind with the nurse, watching as they took Newt away from him. He watched as they placed his motionless body on the table, and the sight frightened him. Newt looked... He couldn't even think about saying that word. But he did look like that. He wasn't supposed to look like that.
Thomas started breathing heavily, trying to stand still as he didn't want to be kicked out of the room. Everyone except for Newt soon were back into the first room, all looking at the screens. A loud noise soon dragged him back to reality, like a hammer hitting an anvil. He hated that noise. Newt didn't even have earplugs to protect his ears.
''There," the neurosurgeon said after a few minutes. "There's a cerebral hemorrhage right there, a very small one."
"It looks very located, right under the pia mater," a nurse then added, focused, as Thomas started to feel dizzy.
''We have to operate. Now," the neurosurgeon said in a hurry, stopping the machine. ''We can drain the blood out of there easily while it's still small. Someone look for his mother and get the paperwork ready!" he said, opening the door to get Newt.
One of the nurse ran and left the room, probably to get Anita. Thomas absentmindly followed, a piercing sound in his ears. He looked around in the hallway, as Newt's bed rolled beside him. He saw the nurse holding papers, talking to Anita - probably explaning the procedure and why it was needed. Anita held on to her tissue as if it would keep her from falling appart, and she nodded, crying.
Thomas turned around, noticing Newt's bed rolling further towards the door. He jogged there, quickly grabbing Newt's hand into his. He felt the questioning looks of the neurosurgeon and the nurse, but didn't remove his hand. He followed them all the way to the operating room, stroking Newt's hand, talking to him in his head. The doctors paged other doctors, everyone running everywhere as they entered the surgery hallway.
He knew he couldn't go further when they took Newt's bed into the surgery room. He watched as the door closed on the love of his life. He stood there, staring at the doors.
What now?
The nurse from earlier gently took his shoulder and walked him to the elevator.
''It'll take two hours at least," he said, apologetic. He probably figured out he wasn't just Newt's doctor.
''He'll be placed in intensive care. Nurses are getting the room 18 ready for him," he added, as Thomas nodded. "You can wait there."
The nurse left and Thomas stood still for a minute. He believed it was a minute. He stared at the floor, empty. He listened to the noises coming from the room, doctors talking about heart rate as a machine bleeped at a constant rythm, doctors asking for scalpels. He couldn't stay there.
I have to tell Lydia, he thought.
He absentmindly walked into the elevator, going up to his floor. He found Lydia's desk empty -- she probably left for her lunch break. He went into his office, getting a paper and a pen.
''Hey Lydia, please cancel all of my patients for the day. Sorry. Thank you. Thomas"
He also left his phone number in the note just in case, and left his office to put the note on Lydia's desk.
He tried to think about what a cerebral hemorrhage meant and what it implied as he walked into the elevator once again and pressed the button to the seventh floor. He knew that. He learned about that at school. But nothing could pop up into his mind except for Newt.
He slowly walked in the hallways, making his way to room number 18. He saw Anita, sitting on a chair in the hallway, holding her head in her hands. He came closer without a word and sat down next to her, still quiet. Anita glanced at him when she felt someone sit, but didn't say a word either.
''It's my fault," Thomas said lowly after a while, staring at the wall.
Anita sat up straight, turning her body toward his.
''What?" she asked, sad.
''It's my fault," Thomas whispered again, his lips quivering. He shook his head as he finally let tears fall down.
''Hey," Anita whispered, apologetic, as she took Thomas inside her arms for a minute. She stroked his back, waiting for him to calm down.
''It's not your fault," she said, once he pulled back from her hug.
''Going back to school was my idea," he mumbled.
"And it is still not your fault," Anita said gently, taking his hand into her own. ''You know whose fault it is? The guys who beat him. They are the only responsible."
Thomas looked up at her and tried to smile, mostly to make her think he believed her.
Anita cupped his cheek and smiled before sinking into her chair.
''Now what?" Thomas whispered, looking at the floor.
''Now we wait."
🌹
Thomas couldn't stop glancing at his phone. Time went by awfully slow. Every minute passing getting on his nerves a little bit more. Two hours passed and they still didn't hear from Newt. Thomas' leg started to bounce about an hour ago. He felt like he wanted to cry a river. But all he could do, with Newt downstairs on a surgery table, was trying to stay calm if he didn't want to lose it. He bounced his leg, or paced in the hallway, or bit his nails. It felt like he would vibrate out of his skin with stress.
''Are you alright?" he heard as he stood up to walk.
''Why is it taking so damn long," he answered, pissed off. He loudly sighed, putting his hands on his hips as he stopped walking. ''I'm gonna freak out."
''Tell me about it," Anita said, her voice broken. She stood up. "I'm gonna go grab a coffee. Do you want anything?"
Thomas nodded. ''Hum, yeah, just a hot chocolate," he said, going for his wallet in his pocket.
''Don't even think about that," Anita said as Thomas opened his wallet to give her money. She stopped his hands, grabbed his wallet and closed it.
''Thank you," Thomas whispered, suddenly feeling really emotionally weak.
He sat back down, defeated. Silent tears rolled down his nose as he let himself feel. Feel it all. Sadness, despair, fear, stress, absence, helplessness.
Anita came back five minutes later, when he had stopped crying. He knew his eyes would be puffy, but honestly, who cared. He wouldn't hide his feelings for Newt, he couldn't : he would show it all, love, joy, and sadness.
She handed him a cup, and they both drank in silence.
''Newt's father should be here soon," Anita said after a while. ''He travels a lot for work."
Thomas' heart missed a beat. He didn't even think about Newt's father. He had never seen the man. Never heard of him. How was he supposed to meet Newt's father when his son was on a surgery table because of him?
''Does he...know about Newt and I?" he hesitantly asked.
''He does." Anita said with a smile. "Newt only talks about you all day, so how could he not."
The doors, at the far end of the hallway, suddenly opened, a nurse stepping into the hallway. Thomas and Anita immediately stood up and walked toward the nurse, who they recognized from earlier. They would finally hear about Newt. That he was safe.
''The surgery is over," the nurse said as Thomas stopped next to him first, shaking like a leaf in anticipation.
''We were able to get all the blood out and stop the hemorraghe," he added, suddenly feeling embarassed.
''I however have some bad news."
Thomas heard the words like an echo in his ears.
''What?" he said, at the same time as Anita -- he thought.
The nurse shifted his balance on his other leg. He was uncomfortable.
''We had to put him under a medically induced coma," he said slowly, gently, as if not to push them into panic. ''We had to in order for his brain to heal at the fullest. It needs a little time. The hemorraghe was small, which is a good thing : but it is still very serious."
The room started to spin around Thomas.
''Wh...what..?" he breathed out, trying to stand still. He couldn't believe what he heard. ''You...you operated him, you got the blood out. I don't..I don't..." he said, his breath shaky.
"We did, but it is not that simple I'm afraid."
Anita started to cry.
"The good thing is that the medically induced coma gives us full control. Which means we will be able to wake him up once his brain has recovered, which should take only a few days for him. The coma will allow his body to slow down and focus on the injury which needs all the rest it can get to heal at the fullest. It will also allow to reduce the intracranial pressure which is crucial for recoveries like this. It..."
Thomas stepped back very slowly, words fading away as he felt dizzier and dizzier. He had to leave. He had to go somewhere else right now or he'd be sick. He heard Anita call as he ran out the doors, rushing into the only place here he felt safe. He ran down 4 floors and rushed into his office, locking the door behind him.
He tried to breathe but it wasn't easy. He tried to stand still but it wasn't easy either ; he pulled on his hair, trying not to scream. Newt couldn't be in a coma. Even a medically induced one. It couldn't have come to that, it wasn't possible.
''Thomas?"
He slid against the wall, exhausted. He sat down and bursted into tears, quietly.
''Thomas it's Lydia. Are you okay?"
He covered his mouth with his arm to keep the loud sobs in.
''I cancelled your appointements for today," Lydia said. ''I'll be here if you need to."
Thomas heard her walk away and breathed out heavily. He suddenly realized, an urge spreading through his body, that he couldn't stay there. Newt would be placed in his room any minute now. He had to go find his baby.
🌹
Thomas felt like the floor crumbled beneath his feet as he watched the doctors and nurses place Newt inside his room. He stood there, outside of the room, at the loss for words. Helplessness was the word : Newt, whom he loved more than anything, was being prepared to spend days in a coma. Machines were all around him, to help him breathe, to monitor his body temperature. Needles in his arms, sedating him. It felt like the world collapsed and his heart fell into millions of pieces. How could a beautiful day turn into something like this? How could the love of your life kiss you goodbye, just to be between life and death five minutes later?
Thomas didn't have words or strenght to answer those questions, because there were no answers at all.
Life wasn't fair. Life had never been fair.
''Why is it happening to him? Of all people, why him?" he whispered, looking through the glass window.
''I don't know," Anita whispered back, holding on to her tissue once again.
''Why would life go after an angel like him," he said again. ''It should be me, instead of him."
''Don't say that," Anita said strongly -- but kindly. "My baby boy sure is an angel but so are you."
Thomas tried to smile, as if to say thank you.
They were let into the room twenty five minutes later. Thomas stepped carefully beside the bed, as if being too loud could make Newt crumble. All of it felt unreal. The way Newt barely moved at all felt unreal. The hairless spot and bandage on his head felt unreal.
Thomas and Anita both sat down, each of them on one side of the bed, and Thomas carefully took Newt's hand into his own.
''I'm here," he whispered, lifting Newt's hand to his lips. ''I'm not going anywhere," he said, and kissed his hand.
''Do you, um..." he said after a while, his voice shaky. "Do you know his password?" He pointed towards Newt's phone, resting on a table with his clothes and backpack.
Anita frowned her eyebrows but got up. She took Newt's phone and unlocked it before she gave it to Thomas.
''It's 1234," she said, chuckling. "Newt had never been the smartest when it comes to passwords."
Thomas let a little laugh out.
"I helped him set up his password on his very first phone. He hasn't changed it ever since," she chuckled, looking fondly at Newt.
Thomas smiled, looking down at the phone. His eyes watered when he saw a picture of him as Newt's homescreen.
''I, um...I heard it's a good thing to play music for people in a coma," he said, pressing shuffle on Newt's playlist. The music was barely audible. He knew Newt would hear it. And hear everyone talk as well. And it was perfect like that.
🌹
Thomas didn't move for the next two hours, barely taking his eyes off Newt. Anita however sometimes left, to drink something, get something to eat or, earlier, welcome her husband.
Thomas had shaken Newt's father's hand like he'd pass out any minute now. He had been relieved when he felt the small handshake coming from the other man. He had been afraid to look weak in front of him ; but then he realized nobody was trying to play tough. Good thing, cause Thomas wouldn't have been able to anyway.
They both left the room a while after, around twenty minutes ago, as they had to take care of paperwork. Thomas felt relieved. He understood a lot of people would stay with Newt and he was thankful for that. But he needed to talk to Newt alone as well. To kiss his forehead, cry in silence without anyone trying to cheer him up.
''Hey," he heard as he focused on Newt's breathing.
He looked up to find an asian boy by the door. He had bruises on his hands and a slit eyebrow - that had been stitched up though.
The boy stepped closer and held out his hand for Thomas to shake.
''You must be Thomas."
"You must be Minho," Thomas answered, a weak smile playing on his face.
''Correct," the boy said, taking a seat on the other side of Newt's bed.
The boys remained sat in silence, looking at Newt, sometimes glancing at each other. Thomas watched him, his features, his angry expression. So that was Minho. Newt's bestfriend.
He could tell Minho wanted to say something, even though nothing came out of his mouth. What was there to say in a situation like this? Newt was in a coma. There were no words for this.
''I wish we'd met in a different context," Thomas softly said after a while, to break the silence.
Minho sighed, not looking anywhere else than Newt. ''Me too man."
''What happened?" Thomas finally asked. The question had been bugging him ever since Newt came in the hospital.
Minho looked up at him.
''This jerk, Ryan. He's a football player who thinks is better than everyone else. He's been messing with Newt ever since the accident. And this morning he just...came at him just like that man. Two of his guard dogs were holding me back as he beat him up. And what he said to him...the second Newt hit the floor, I knocked his fucking teeth out."
Thomas swallowed, anger and pain running through his body.
''Then another student finally had the great idea to call for help, as if they couldn't do that five minutes before," Minho added, annoyed.
''Well. Once Newt's out of here, I'll gladly kill this fucking jerk," Thomas said with gritted teeth.
''You won't have to," Minho said. "This asshole is going to juvie. It's not his first time doing something like this."
Thomas nodded.
Minho left an hour later. Thomas glanced at the clock, which displayed 18:00. The sun already was setting down, darkness filling out the room. Thomas got up and switched the lights on, grabbing a blanket before sitting back down. His stomach started to hurt too. He hadn't eaten anything for hours. But he wouldn't leave the room.
Doctors came by in the evening to explain everything to Thomas and Newt's parents. Newt would have to take scans everyday, twice a day to monitor his brain activity and recovery. He'd be fed by tubes and he'd need physiotherapy as well as body care. Thomas immediately said he'd take care of that, which caused the doctors to look at him with a surprised expression on their faces. They eventually agreed, as Thomas already was his physiotherapist anyway. They said that if everything went as planned, Newt would be ready to be woken up in a week or so.
Newt's parents left an hour later, both of them exhausted. Thomas said goodbye and sat back down on the same chair he'd been in for most of the day. Newt didn't move an inch and it felt wrong. He kept looking at him, stroking his hand, and fighting his tiredness.
''Sir?"
Thomas looked up to whoever called him -- a nurse. He blinked, straighting up a bit in his chair.
''Visiting hours are over, I'm sorry," the nurse said, gesturing as if to invite Thomas to leave the room.
''What? I'm, um...I'm staying with him overnight," he said, serious. He quickly glanced at the clock to notice it was already 21:00.
''I'm sorry, but visitors are not allowed overnight in the intensive care rooms," the nurse answered, coming closer to Thomas. She put a hand on his shoulder as if to lift him up. Thomas jolted at the touch, standing up in a hurry.
''No, I'm his doctor too, look, it's fine! I'm staying!" he loudly said, panic rising inside him.
''I'm sorry," the nurse said, pushing him out the room. ''You can go back in tomorrow at 8:00," she said before leaving.
Thomas stood there, astounded. Tears of anger rolled down his face. So how come he couldn't stay with Newt? No. He'd stay right here, standing in front of the glass window, by himself in the hallway. He wouldn't leave.
He stood there for an hour, barely noticing his feet hurting. He mostly focused on staying awake, but his eyes really started to sting.
''Hey," he suddenly heard.
He turned around to see Lydia walking up to him. He slightly chuckled in relief.
''Hey."
''I heard what happened," she said apologetically. ''I'm sorry."
''Thank you," he mumbled.
He watched, amazed, as Lydia came closer to the door and unlocked it with a badge.
''Come on, you're not gonna stay in the hallway," she said, stepping into the room. Thomas followed, so relieved to get his seat back next to Newt. '
'How..."
''My mom," Lydia said, smiling. ''She's the big boss here."
Thomas raised his eyebrows in surprise.
''I got a special permission for you."
''Thank you so much," Thomas whispered, his eyes closed as he kissed Newt's hand.
''I also got you the week off. I had to bicker with my mom about that," Lydia chuckled. ''I figured you wouldn't want to leave him," she said, unsure of herself. But she knew she had done right when Thomas smiled and thanked her again a dozen times.
''Here," she said as she opened her bag and gave Thomas a salad. ''I took one at the vending machine for you. It's not as good as the cafeteria, but nothing is opened at this hour."
Thomas took the salad and smiled. He thanked Lydia again. She was such a sweetheart.
''What are you doing here so late anyway?" he asked as he began to eat, genuinely curious.
''I took an extra shift at the ER," she said. "I was too worried about both of you anyway. My shift's over now though."
They remained silent for a long time, as Thomas finished eating and then wrapped himself into his blanket.
''It's crazy how life can be so unfair."
Thomas barely heard Lydia's words as he fell asleep.
''Are you okay, sweetheart ?"
''Why is mom not waking up?"
''Your mom needs to take a big nap for a few days, buddy. But when she wakes up, she'll be so happy to see you."
The nurse put a needle back on his mom's arm.
''Where is my dad?"
''Your dad has to go through surgery, sweetheart. But your grandma is coming to get you, yeah? You're gonna wait with her and your sister Teresa."
''Where is Tessa?"
Thomas looked around the room, following the nurse's movements.
''She's talking to police officers now, sweetie. You want to come with me find your grandma? Alright, let's go," the nurse said, taking Thomas' tiny hand into her own.
Thomas jolted awake with a gasp, looking around the room in panic.
''Hey, hey, you're okay, you're alright," he heard Lydia said, touching his arm. He came to his sense and was surprised to see she dragged her chair next to his.
''Bad dream?" she asked, closing the book she had on her lap.
Thomas nodded, dragging his hands over his face to chase the tiredness away. He then came closer to Newt, taking his hand back into his.
''Don't worry. Nothing changed. You only slept for an hour," Lydia said softly.
Lydia opened her book again, curling into a little ball on her chair. Thomas watched as he wrapped himself in his blanket.
''What are you reading?" he asked, yawning.
''Um, it's a book for school," Lydia answered with a smile. "Neuropsychology."
''You're studying neuropsychology?" Thomas asked, his voice high at the end, as he was genuinely surprised. He didn't think Lydia was still studying at school.
''Yep," she said.
''So your mom..."
"She gave me a job here," she smiled. "I pratically grew up here anyway. I work for school from here or home. I'm not fond of people," she chuckled.
''Yeah, tell me about it," he said, letting a small laugh out.
Thomas looked at Newt as silence fell on the room again. His lips quivered as he thought about today and how much he loved him. He had a present for him, at home. He was supposed to cook a romantic diner, they were supposed to cuddle, fall asleep together.
Tears rolled down quietly on his face as he stared at him. His beautiful eyes closed, his tiny eyelashes resting on his cheeks. His long, blond hair spread all over the pillow ; and a tube in his beautiful mouth. It wasn't supposed to be like that.
''He's gonna be okay, Tom," Lydia whispered when she noticed he was crying. She dragged her chair closer to his and took his hand into her own.
''I miss him," Thomas said, bursting into tears a little bit more.
''I know you do," Lydia said, stroking his back.
Thomas closed his eyes and let his head fall on Newt's tummy.
''I love you," he whispered, his voice broken. ''Please come back soon."
❤️
Hey everyone,
This chapter was meant to be much longer but i think we'll make it into two parts!
I hoped you loved it. I hope it's not too cheesy :( is it???
I hope it wasn't boring either. I feel like it is.
I love you guys and i hope you're doing great ❤️