CHAPTER 19
**Trigger Warning ⚠️ Description of Rape.⚠️
-VANESSA-
My stomach flopped as the realization dawned on me. I did want to kiss Blake, and I have for awhile. He obviously felt the same way, but what was stopping me.
Images of Monty, my dad, and Tristen, flashed through my head, but they quickly faded when Blake grabbed placed a gentle hand on my cheek.
"Last time we were here, in this spot, I asked if I could kiss you. We were unfortunately interrupted, so if you're okay with it... I would really like a redo" he states in a low voice as his thumb brushes my cheekbone.
"Blake, I-"
"Just tell me yes or no"
My stomach fluttered.
I couldn't speak, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think.
This cannot be happening. Is this real?
I slowly nod my head and lean closer to him.
"Please. Kiss me" I all but beg as the air around us grew thick and heavy.
I noticed the way his eyes widened slightly, and the smirk that overturned his lips before he moves his hand the the back of my neck.
Our bodies were drawn to each other in a way I didn't know was possible, and the feeling of his breath of my lips made it all the more real.
I didn't want to wait anymore.
I closed the remaining distance between us, and melted when his lips molded to mine. My hands found their way to the base of his neck and trailed into his hair as the kiss deepens.
He tried to pull me closer but instead pulls away with a wince, as his hand flies to his bullet wound.
"I-I'm sorry, I- are you ok?" I ask trying to catch my breath.
He grabs my hands before I can pull them away and places them behind his neck again, as his own hands go to my waist.
"I'm fine, I just had a sharp pain, but it's gone now"
He pulls me closer, and I make it easier for him by scooting my body as close as possible.
My lips tingled as I glance towards his swollen lips and all the feelings I had rush back into me as he rests his forehead against mine.
I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I knew I wasn't the only one that wanted to do that again.
"We should probably finish the board and go back before it rains" I state with a slight chuckle.
"Damn the board" he says gruffly before his lips are on mine again.
I indulged in the kiss and the way his solid body felt against mine. His muscles tightened and strained as his hands encircled my waist, drawing me even closer to him.
All the thoughts I had of what kissing Blake Willis would be like were tossed out the window. This was the real thing. And it was so much better.
I could still taste the strawberry and champagne on his lips, and when he slipped his tongue in my mouth, electricity sparked through my whole body.
It felt amazing to be touched like this by someone who I trusted, someone who wasn't going to hurt me.
When we finally pull away for air his hand slides to his wound again, and as he dealt with his pain. I had my own creep back into my brain.
The last time I gave in to someone like that I was hurt. I don't want to feel like that again. One part of me knows Blake won't hurt me, but the other part was having flashbacks of the grey eyes of Tristen Peters.
"There's that look again" Blake says in a strained voice.
"What look?" I ask meekly.
"You're thinking about something bad. I can tell by the way your eyes squint and your cheeks get pale. Is it your dad?"
I shake my head. I haven't thought about my dad since I left the hospital with Blake.
"You can talk to me Van, about anything. You can trust me"
Trust.
That little thing is so hard to gain but so easy to lose. It's true Blake hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. Yet, I was warring with myself on if I should say anything.
"It's embarrassing, and I don't like talking about it. I-I want to tell you. I do. I just need a second"
Blake nods his head and grabs my hand, before lacing his fingers with mine.
"Take your time Van. I'll be here to listen"
I close my eyes and take a steadying breath before squeezing Blake's hand for comfort.
I can do this.
"When I was a freshman. I got involved with an older guy. He was a senior. I'm not sure if you know him, his name is Tristen Peters. I was only 14 years old, I was stupid to think a senior, or a guy like Tristen, in general would be interested in me."
Blake squeezes my hand, urging me to continue.
"We started seeing each other. I would sneak out to see him at first because I was afraid of what my dad would do. I thought Tristen was the nicest guy. He would bring flowers to me, and slip sweet notes in my locker. He even recited my favorite poem back to me."
I take another deep breath and let it out as I resist the urge to curl into myself.
"He took me to a party one night, it was the first time I had been to a high school party, the first time we kissed, the first time I had alcohol. He got me a drink and I trusted him, so I drank it. The effect of it hit me almost immediately, my head was fuzzy, my vision got blurry, but I felt amazing. I felt strong, and brave. While we were dancing, I made a move and kissed him. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't even remember it until a few months after the party."
"Did he drug you?" Blake asks with a firm voice.
I meekly nod my head.
"That fucking son of a-"
"I felt like I deserved it, I was the one who took the drink. After we kissed, I got really dizzy again he took me up to one of the rooms. The party was so loud, I was screaming for him to stop but he wouldn't, I couldn't get him off me. Nobody could hear me over the music. My arms and legs were like jelly, I fought to get him off me but I couldn't. He- he held me down and ripped my dress off."
I pause as my voice cracks and tears spring to my eyes. The energy Blake was emoting was dangerous, there was a darkness, an anger surrounding him.
"You don't have to finish Van." His voice was gruff, and I knew he was pissed. But if wasn't at me.
My voice cracks as I try to speak again, but I couldn't. The tears pooled in my eyes and escaped down my cheeks in floods and the sobs began to rack my body.
Blake adjusts his body and pulls me into his side, where he wraps his arms around me, and I can't help but fall into his embrace. I clutch his shirt and press my face into his chest as the tears broke out.
"I'm so sorry Van. If I ever see that fucker I'll kill him."
His gentle hands come up and wipe the tears from my face and I try to steady my breathing.
A determined look stretches across Blake's face and he cups my cheeks in his hands.
"I promise you, you won't ever have to feel unsafe around me. I would never hurt you. I swear."
My eyebrows crease as his words sink in.
"Do you believe me?"
I did believe him. I trusted him.. and despite my past. I wasn't going to let Tristen or my father stop me from giving Blake my all.
I don't answer him with words, instead I gently press my lips against his in a promise of what was to come.
••
Bit of a deeper chapter....
Blake and Vanessa finally locked lips!!! It's been a hella long time coming...
This seems fast, but it's going to get better in the next few chapters.