-' 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮 - 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙
20장
it was morning after the night the two boys spent together, jimin was hugging jungkook from the back spooning him, they had a pleasant time together last night in jungkook's dark room and now were under the blanket half naked.
the boy in jimin's arms was already awake - jungkook who was rubbing jimin's hand with his thumb hoping to wake him up, jimin's arms were protectively around him bringing comfort and the feeling of safety. he loved the warmth of him but it also made him a bit nervous.
"jungkook-ah... are you awake?" jimin asked with his raspy morning voice, making him turn around to face jimin.
"yeah.." jungkook said a bit shyly, seeing jimin's beautiful morning face above him, jimin smiled and placed a kiss on jungkook's lips who was a bit taken a back but smiled at it
"do you feel better today?" jimin asked, seeing how jungkook nodded. "did you sleep well?" jungkook asked making jimin smile gently.
"i really did, you?"
jungkook nodded as he smiled a bit, they stayed there - cuddling and talking softly to each other for quite some time before they both sat up. it was light in the room so both of the boys were exposed, especially jungkook whose body was covered in multiple scars. jimin gulped painfully as he noticed that, he understood that most of them were from his parents and bullying. but that wasn't all.
"kook-ah... what is this.." jimin mumbled quietly, at first jungkook was confused and looked into jimin's worried eyes. but realized after jimin slowly grabbed jungkook's left arm, softly touching the scars with his fingertips. jimin's heart was aching, not all of them were even scars yet.
jungkook widened his eyes as his heart jumped, how could've he forgotten? he pulled his arm away from jimin, hiding it between his legs as he looked down.
"those are old, don't mind it..." he muttered quietly, but jimin wasn't stupid, he knew some of those marks were fresh.
"jungkook-ah, i know those aren't old... but hey it's okay.. i'm here for you." jimin tried to stay calm and somehow positive even when he was shocked, the thought that the two of the boys had been under the same roof and jungkook would be in such a dark place whilst jimin would have no idea of it really hit his heart. he also wondered whether the reason jungkook cleaned the bathroom was this, did jungkook do this to himself then?
he had never met a person who self harmed themselves so he wasn't quite sure what to do or say so he tried to stay calm and pretty neutral, but only the though of jungkook sitting on the floor using a sharp object to make himself bleed was making jimin want to cry. his heart was aching as he tried to push his tears in, it definitely wasn't his place to tear up when he probably was one of the reasons why jungkook was so miserable.
"but please don't do it ever again.. i promise i'll help you, i'll listen to you if you ever feel like doing it.. but please don't hurt yourself anymore it can.. really turn out badly..." jimin said quietly but comfortingly as he took jungkook's hands back into his. jungkook's heart ached to all of this, jimin looked sad and jungkook hated it, he hated to burden him like this and felt even more naked right now.
"i'm sorry.. but you don't need to help me i'm fine." jungkook said and lifted his gaze to face jimin, smiling a bit.
"if you would be fine, you wouldn't hurt yourself. don't lie to yourself." jimin said softly and jungkook gave up holding up his fake smile.
jungkook never once turned his eyes away from jimin's who could feel his eyes burning because of trying to hold the tears in.
"is this.. perhaps..because how i treated you before.. i mean.. b-bullied..?" jimin gulped heavily, looking at jungkook whose eyes widened innocently.
"oh..what!? no no.. it's not that.. it was just uh sad sammy and you know.. it had nothing to do with you don't worry.." jungkook tried to reassure jimin who sighed as he nodded but jungkook had started spacing out again.
see that?
YAH!
jungkook, don't ignore me
he doesn't care about you
he just wanted to take the weight off his shoulders, did you hear how he sighed in relief?
he's using you and you dumbass really think that he is willing to stay by your side?
you are so naïve for just letting yourself to fall on him! he couldn't care less if you'd slit your wrist right now, he wouldn't care if you'd just jump off the balcony right now.
as long as it's not his fault, he doesn't care!
jungkook tried to ignore sad samny but somehow it made him think all of this again, he started overthinking the smallest details and it brought anxiety again.
"jungkook-ah..?"
"hey.. are you listening? are you okay?" jimin tried to get jungkook's attention who was again spaced out. he blinked a few times as he brought his eyes to look into jimin's.
"jimin-ah"
"yes jungkookie?"
"sad sammy won't leave me alone."
jungkook's eyes were full of anxiety and fear as he was breathing out unsteadily and looking into jimin's eyes full of worry. jungkook was biting his lip to try to block his tears. jimin was indeed worried and scared, jungkook looked like his life was hanging by a small little string, his eyes looked so tired.
jimin was afraid that jungkook was gonna give up and listen to sammy and he was so done, he wanted to get rid of it. jimin stood up and walked to jungkook's closet, he grabbed a hoodie and threw it on the bed as he put his own clothes on.
"dress up kook-ah"
jungkook was confused as he felt like he was suffocating in his thoughts, the air felt heavy. so he grabbed the hoodie and with his shaky hands, putting it on. jimin helped jungkook up and they walked out of jungkook's room to put the shoes on.
jimin was holding jungkook tightly as they took the stairs, one floor up to the roof of the high building.
jungkook was now shaking even more, the chilly wind was playing with his hair as he looked at how high they were.
he wants to kill you now
one jump and you're dead, die.
jungkook started walking a bit ahead of jimin.
if you don't die now, you're gonna face lawsuit of the cocaine, you'll be expelled from school.
there's nothing for you anymore
jump. it's gonna hurt for a second.
jungkook pulled himself out of jimin's grasp and walked a bit more faster, getting close to reach the edge. jimin called out his name a few times but jungkook didn't react.
"fuck.. JUNGKOOK!!" jimin yelled and started running after the boy who didn't listen to jimin and kept walking.
jimin placed his hands around jungkook's waist, kind of guessing this would happen when he'd bring him there. but jimin wanted jungkook to face his demons.
"jungkook.. tell him to shut up" jimin whispered into jungkook's neck who still tried to walk forwards.
jump, it'll hurt just for a second.
"JUNGKOOK TELL HIM TO SHUT UP" jimin screamed from his lungs, holding jungkook by his dear life never letting him cross the edge.
"jimin-ah.. let me go.. " jungkook whispered, making jimin squeeze the boy harder.
"never, i'll never let go of you." jimin whispered, the wind was harshly playing with their hairs making the whole situation more dramatic.
"you can't let go of yourself either, jungkook tell sad sammy to shut the fuck up." jimin sobbed outloud, hugging jungkook so tight that there was no way he could be able to get out.
jungkook was crying as well, he took some steps forwards with jimin hanging behind his back.
they both reached the edge and jungkook leaned against the railing to look down.
"shut up.." he said outloud, jimin was holding jungkook's hand now, smiling a bit through his tears.
"louder!"
"SHUT UP SAD SAMMY"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!" jungkook screamed to the whole world from his heart, sobbing as he did so.
jimin felt really proud and he smiled at jungkook, squeezing his hand harder.
"you can say whatever you want, scream it all out. anything that's on your heart." jimin looked at jungkook who turned to look at him as well, he was crying so hard but smiled since he felt a bit more easier already.
"FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD FUCK YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH"
"say fuck it to everyone!"
"FUCK YOU JUNGHYUN!! FUCK YOU KIM JONGIN!!!!!!"
"there's one more person you need to curse!!!" jimin yelled to the wind as well but not as rawly and painfully as jungkook.
jungkook silenced a bit breathing heavily in and out as he turned to look at jimin who smiled and nodded.
"FUCK YOU KIM TAEHYUNG !!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!"
"YES FUCK YOU KIM TAEHYUNG!!" jimin joined this time as he felt like he also had to get it off of his chest, he did lose his best friend who was really important to him but got impossible to handle. jungkook started laughing loudly and so did jimin.
they looked at each other and were just laughing their lungs out.
"FUCK YOU KIM TAEHYUNG I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON HOSEOK'S DICK!!" jimin yelled, making jungkook laugh even harder as both of them kneeled down out of breath.
"FUCK YOU KIM TAEHYUNG I HOPE YOUR PILLOW IS WARM ON BOTH SIDES!!!" jungkook yelled, making jimin choke on air with his silent laughs.
"is that the worst thing you can say?" jimin was dying, jungkook nodded, dying out of laughter.
both of them were so sad but having so much fun at the moment. the wind was harsh, it was chilly and grey up on the roof, both of their cheeks were reddish.
with his shaky legs, jungkook stood up as he was leaning to the railing again, he took in a lot of air and looked around the big, cruel but beautiful city of seoul.
"FUCK YOU WORLD" he screamed, jimin had stood up next to him as well and gasped, taking plenty of air in.
"FUCK YOU WORLD, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SAD SAMMY LEAVE JUNGKOOKIE ALONE!!" it felt so good, the boys were holding hands tightly as they smiled to each other.
"FUCK YOU WORLD!!" they screamed together multiple times, it felt really relaxing, as if the pressure and anxiety just flew up to the sky and disappeared like a dust in the air. out of breath, jungkook sat down on the ground, leaning against the railing. jimin sat next to him and they made a long eye contact again just staring into each other with the most loving and caring eyes.
"thank you jimin.. thank you so much.. i feel so much better.." jungkook said sincerly, seeing how jimin smiled widely.
"you're welcome jungkook, i'm so glad you feel better. you did scare the hell out of me.." jimin chuckled exhaustingly, seeing how jungkook pouted as he nodded.
jimin found it adorable but didn't want jungkook to feel too upset, he placed his hands under his chin and pulled him in a deep kiss.
jimin pulled jungkook closer to him, never taking their lips off of each other. at this point they were pretty much obsessed with each other.
"kook-ah, i'll kill sad sammy, i promise. i'll protect you with my whole life, if someone ever again tries to hurt you i'll kill them all." jimin whispered as their foreheads were together and they breathed heavily to each others faces. jungkook furrowed his eyebrows as he chuckled a bit.
"why?" he whispered, jimin understood that jungkook didn't know why would he do all of that for him.
"i wondered that too.. but i like you jungkookie, so fucking much. i also like myself when i'm with you and have realized my worth as well. maybe i can't quite understand it all yet, but i care about you so much. i wanna be with you and i just wanna see your face everyday.." jimin whispered. jungkook pulled away a bit, looking into jimin's sincere eyes as he leaned back in to kiss him.
"i like you too" jungkook whispered, there was no sad sammy telling him what to do and what not. he knew he liked jimin and felt relieved to say it outloud.
who would've known they'd end up like this?
the bully and the bullied, two enemies.
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completely rewritten and edited uhhuh
word count; 2145