Narrator's POV
Our heroes surrounded the medical bay in the DEO, as usual. Before them was someone they didn't know. It looked like Kara, that was it. She was stable, at least for now. Brainy had done his best to whip up some technology that would be useful but no one had ever survived The Anti-Monitor's attacks as long as she had, or at all. The fact she'd defeated him and survived was rewriting Brainy's history. This was a problem of epic proportions. She needed a new suit, that was easy to tell, she must not have changed in a long time if she'd been able to tear a suit. There was supposed to be built in repairs but they only lasted for so many tears. Brainy was thinking out loud as the rest of the room stay silent. She was really there.
Close family suffers from a tremendous loss the most. Everyone around her was her family but only one was her sister. There was not a single person that couldn't tell something was up with Alex. There was a tell in that look she kept in her eye. Seeing her sister just show up out of the blue to fight, and save the city by sacrificing herself and having killed someone, she didn't really know how to carry herself. Kara Danvers, was back and severely different. This had a butterfly effect. The poor agents who tried to ask their boss questions had received a less than enthusiastic 'fuck off', in a few different words.
"Brainy, what happened to her?" Answers, she needed answers.
"I do not know for this was not in my history books. Winn, did you see anything in the future?" Turning the question over to someone else was clever but still evading what they all already knew.
"There was nothing about this. As far as I know the multiverse didn't exist anymore and there was only one Earth. Almost everyone died, excusing Superman." This was the last straw for Director Danvers.
"You knew she was supposed to die and didn't say anything?" Poor Winn felt a lump stuck in his throat and the raging redhead glaring at him was not helping. It was when she stared him down with the intention to seriously injure that J'onn stepped in.
"Alex, don't. You have more control than that. We need to focus our energy on helping your sister." Why did he always have to be right? Anger management was sounding pretty good.
Poor Lena Luthor hadn't said a word to any of them since the hero had shown up again. She clung to her phone like it was her child, for saved on the device was a clip the woman on the bed had sent to her. It had been an intentionally delayed message, a cruel twist of fate really. She'd been part way through the grieving process when she found it, resetting the clock. As it was she still hadn't finished the cycle.
"I'll be waiting on the other side for you. Hopefully I won't see you too soon." That had been the message she'd received. That was when 'missing' turned into 'probably dead'. All that waiting for a spark of hope or a hint but none of them had an idea of what she had been going through. If something had possessed Supergirl to kill, she'd been severely broken.
It was a cold day in their little hell. Not a single soul could really fathom the idea of leaving her bedside. Around the medical bay even agents had started to gather, in memoriam more than anything else. Sure, the hero was back but it wasn't difficult to tell she was an entirely new person. If she woke, they'd have a difficult job on their hands. The superfriends themselves had resorted to shifts of watching over the sleeping girl who looked oddly peaceful after everything, ignoring the angry Mark's on any visible skin of course. As if like clockwork, as soon as the building seemed quietest, it became eerie. When the next shift on Super watch changed over the level of security they felt went down significantly. She was gone, again.
Security cameras had shown her just walking out with no resistance. Sparks flew from her fingertips as she disconnected any wires and she just walked out. How had none of them seen her? Probably the super speed. Where were they even supposed to look for her?
Kara's POV
It was here, somewhere. It had to be. All around me was meaningless junk and no actual clues about anything. I'd done as asked and found The Anti-Monitor and all he did was proclaim me 'free'. No more missions or warm-ups because there wasn't exactly a bigger big bad to fight. Begging for more left me with no better response. If this was his ideal of mercy, he clearly was not aware of all I had done for him. There was a suppressed personality inside me, buried so deep time may not even reveal it. I'd done it to better serve now what did I have? A drive to protect.
This world could apparently use a hand. It's heroes were underprepared and I wasn't a teacher so here and now I stay. That place I appeared in seemed as good as any to stay. There was a familiarity to it as well. Thankfully there were clothes I could use and even some food. Earth food, what it tasted like was now a mystery to me; the water was even clear. Around me was someone's life, eventually they seemed to arrive home, maybe I'd have to find somewhere else to stay.
"Kara? Are you here?" There was no possible chance that someone on this planet, in this decade that knew my name knew who I was anymore. Still, I couldn't just steal this person's clothes.
"Who's there?" I couldn't show weakness, not even my voice was allowed to give me away.
"It's Lena, I just want to talk." Maybe the name was a little familiar.
"Then talk." Seeing as how she was no apparent threat I lowered from my defensive position and simply watched her instead. She only stared at me; eyes dazed, unattached from reality. "Talk." That seemed prompt enough.
"Where have you been?"
"Further than your brain can fathom." It was not just places I had been but the times too. I had to see the origin of my enemy.
"You've been missing for weeks, can I have any more of an answer?" Why would she desire that? There was no answer I could give that would satisfy her if she once knew me.
"You are wrong. I have not visited this planet in years."
"That can't be possible. Kara you haven't been gone for that long." Why was she so mad?
"Whoever you believe me to be, I am not. It will be easier on you if you accept that." Having people desire me to be someone I no longer was, would only make this entire thing more difficult on everyone.
"Why did you go on the mission?"
"To save."
"Who?"
"Something I loved. Why is that of importance to you?" She was hiding something, she knew something I did not.
"I'm just curious. Why did you save them?" There was an answer she wished for me to find without her help.
"I don't remember completely," there's only so far asking questions can take you, "as far as I know a piece of me has been missing for a long time. There was someone who meant so much to me." After a moment the strange woman spoke, her voice scarcely a whisper.
"Do you miss them?" Honestly?
"All the time." Her reaction confused me. Honestly had been drilled into me, I no longer carried the burden of unsaid words as she did. "The time of resting is over, I have to go. If you would allow me, I would be more than grateful to be permitted to rest here."
"Of course." As I left she walked over to the refrigerator, something was there that she took down.
I followed her. All those years ago I chose to forget but now, maybe she could help me remember. She went back to the building I'd only just broken out of. A small group had assembled in a room. If I strained my ears I could just about hear them.
Out of nowhere a mind numbing pain exploded through my ears. Despite all the pain I'd learnt to endure this still sent me to my knees, clutching my head. Around me everything changed. Beside me was a huddled, terrified group. The Naltorians begged for my help and I couldn't save them. Surrounding us all was death and destruction, I had to be able to do something. All I had to do was follow the screams.
At the source was a collapsed house halfway across the world. A family lay trapped, I hadn't much time to work with. Even still, I managed to pull it off without a hitch, would my life really just be minor battles from now on? They all thanked me and that was that.
Returning to the apartment after that was refreshing. Having somewhere to stay was a luxury, now to find food. Before I could think of leaving, someone knocked on the door and let themselves in.
"Kara, I can't believe you're actually back." She had containers in her arms that she'd put down before wrapping her arms around me. "Lena said not to come round but I just had to see you." No. This constriction had every part of me beginning to panic. Ripping my arms across my body and hovering above the ground seemed like the only rational response. The woman had recoiled. "I'm you sister, I know you love hugs." Know. It's an interesting word that forces you into a box of what someone believes to be.
"Get out!" The order had an edge to it, one she understood enough as she left for the door.
Electricity crackled from my fingertips even after she had left. There was something in me that begged for seclusion, convinced that was the only remedy. The containers on the side still remained untouched. I could go weeks without food. It's not like I was really hungry anyway. Even still, I couldn't help but wonder what was in there. What if she'd used a sorry attempt to try and kill me? I didn't know the woman. It wasn't safe there. I couldn't just leave. The other woman had allowed me to stay and now she could be in danger too. There was a little humanity left in me.
She came by a few hours later opening the door so cautiously I may have well been a wild animal. I guess I was in a sense. It took a quick scan of the room for her to find me. Surveying the city from the window was the most comforting place in the apartment
“Alex told me what happened, I’m sorry she hadn’t listened. I brought food though.” There was this domestic dream wedged somewhere in the back of my mind, despite how wrong this really felt.
“I have to go.” Her heartbeat increased. Why was she so desperate for me to stay?
“You’re not even going to have something to eat?” I’d known this woman, I must’ve. Why had I chosen to forget it all? I had a life here and I could have one again.
There it was again. I sped out the window without so much as a glance backwards. She called my name but I was too far gone. Petrified gurgles first, then a gun had been fired, this time I had to be faster than a speeding bullet. Following the cries of those watching I saw the metal almost close enough to kill. For once I’d had to move the victim as opposed to the bullet. Something dug into my leg as I held a trembling child in my arms, it was just a child. With the fury of a thousand suns I stared down the human male, why he’d been given something so able to kill was beyond me. The young boy in my arms was not to stay here. When asked he’d told me of a family member of his that lived nearby, touching down at the apartment gave a more comforting feel than where we had previously been. I’d gotten a thank you and a warm smile from the family member before I was off again. Maybe I couldn’t have a normal life.
Apparently I wasn’t quite at full strength just yet. The bullet hung halfway out of my leg, surrounded by but a trickle of blood. All I needed was the belongings I had left at the apartment. The wound would heal on its own. She was still there, with something else too. There were animals. I had no choice but to use the window, I may not have had a key but I wasn’t going to break in either. She’d even locked my only excuse for an entry. No choice but to knock. The dog had noticed first, leaping over the sofa to bark at me. The creature seemed familiar.
As the woman made her way over a flash of something clouded my mind’s eye. Caged doors harbouring more animals. Beside me a smiling face, identical to the one coming to open the window for me. I did know her, once.
The second there was a chance to reach me the dog had taken the opportunity to sniff me. It wasn't long before it accepted me and wanted to be pet. The memory before was confirmed as real as the creature seemed to recognise me. The collar said Krypto. He was familiar and soon returned to his owner's side.
"Lena," her head sprung up at her name from where it had been focused on the floor below us, "I'm sorry for leaving." I felt I owed her an apology for some reason, it just felt like the right thing to do. Putting my foot down shot a new wave of pain through my limb, damn bullets. It was nothing I couldn't handle, more shocking than anything else.
She spotted it and surprisingly only took a total of 10 seconds to convince me to sit down so she could fix it. I'd fought destroyers of worlds, and they had nothing on her. As I sat, waiting for her to return from the bathroom the fluffy white dog had jumped up to sit by my side. An animal so seemingly sweet didn't see me as the monster I was. I'd killed people and here I was letting myself be happy.
When she came back the delayed questions finally started up. Where had I been? What happened? What I remembered? That last one was probably the hardest to answer. I remembered sacrificing myself to save the woman I loved, my whole family too but saw no faces or names lodged in my memory. As for everything after that, a thousand lifetimes full of memories could never erase a second. The hardest-hitting question was still hidden up her sleeve however. Why had I gone? Years I'd spent trying to find an exact answer to that exact question with little luck yet here, sat before this human woman I knew why. "I promised she'd be okay." There was emotion behind my answer. Little pieces had trickled past the wall in my mind. Not enough to know much more but maybe it was coming down. It was difficult fighting while not knowing what I was doing it for the last few years.
Lena had stopped attending to my leg after I spoke. She was staring up at me with this look on her face insinuating I'd torn her entire world down, had I?
"How do you know she's okay if you weren't here?" This I knew for sure. My mentor, The Monitor had told me what had happened in the first place. That was why I didn't try and return sooner.
"I couldn't be the reason she died." I had looked Lena directly in the eye to answer that last question. For some reason I could trust her with my truth and it scared me because I didn't why. The only thing I could tell about her was that she'd suffered great loss too.
We didn't talk after that, what was there to say? Once my leg was all patched up she'd given me clothes to put on while she warmed up some food for me. She wouldn't accept a no, nor was I used to the hospitality. I liked this woman. Strong willed, caring and all with a fiery temper if ignored. There was no way she would allow me to stay in my suit. She'd promised to get it repaired for me before she left again, with the promise of her return.
The bliss of such a soft fabric on my skin was extremely welcome. The cotton didn't cling but rather it hung protectively over me. It was a foreign feeling to me, I'd truly been in the suit for quite a while. Such a novelty came at a price however. A warm shower was in order before I put on something clean. Every drop burned a new inch of my skin. Wounds and scars screaming, attempting to force me to stop. The pain was bearable, soap only made it worse. I first figured that out as the muck and dirt was being rinsed from my hair. Trickles of the dirty mixture had seared it's trail down my back and once I finally left the shower the open air slapped my injuries. This was one of the first times they had been in open air since I got them.
The clothes themselves had been left on the bed for me. As I trugged out I truly felt my muscles relax, thanks to the heat of the shower.
Krypto never really left my side once I left the bathroom, the dog cuddling into me with a dopey smile whenever he could. The cat followed but never really came too close. The true shock came from Lena as I walked out in nothing but a towel.
"Kara, your back. What happened?" So many stories, so little she'd want to hear, presumably.
"I learnt from my mistakes." It's not like I was lying. She wasn't satisfied but that was expected. What wasn't expected was a touch on my skin. Out of pure instinct I had thrown the clothes on, with bruises continuing to pull at my skin I tackled the poor woman and was hovering over her as my finger buzzed with a voltage higher than human. I couldn't force her to endure this. Below me was someone what had been nothing but friendly to me, terrified. Her heartbeat was as fast as I could fly.
"I'm sorry," Her voice trembled as she tried to get out two simple words. It was all my fault. Even the animals could no longer stand me, Krypto growled as the cat hissed at me. Why had I chosen to believe I could be normal?
I left her cowering, scribbled out a note, grabbed any suit I could fly in and just left. I was a danger to those people. As I flew high above the city another memory came to me, the fortress of solitude. All I had left of my heritage, if I were to ask forgiveness anywhere, there would be the best place.
There was a robot inside, it taught me the prayers of my people. They weren't lost. That was the only relief I'd felt recently, and even that was short lived.
"Kara! Kara? Are you here?" Had this man not heard of subtlety? My nature had forced me into a fighting stance, he posed no threat but that didn't mean I could differ from my norm.
"What is it with you people? Can I not be alone?" I wanted to protect the people if this planet, that was all.
"Your family is worried about you, so what are you doing here?" Could they not allow me some space at the very least?
"I don't know those people, or you." All I knew of this person was that his fighting ability and reaction time wasn't very high. He needed to train.
"I'm your cousin, how could you forget me so easily?" How dare he?
"Easily? For the past 10 years of my life I have been training to kill someone as there was no other choice." I'd never spoke of anything that happened before, why not tell in a furious rage? "After a particularly bad mission I not only chose but asked my mentor to put a block in my mind." So in a mindless rage I could recall the past. I never knew but I couldn't remember. "I've seen civilisations ended, some decimated by myself." This stuck something in the hero terrified by my gaze. "I had to rid myself of any ties." Now for the difficult confession, my truth. "Do you know what it's like having to sacrifice everything you've ever known or loved to say them?" People weren't always open books and the man before me seemed purely in awe of my story. These people all saw me as an unchangeable force, some shell of a person I didn't know I was and that left me the hardest job of all, tell them the truth. They couldn't understand, how could I ever expect them to?
Author's Note:
New stuff in the next chapter. Not long now.
~ Sophie