Hugo
I could see why Webb had fallen for Lena. She was, quite plainly-speaking, exquisite. Dark brown, almost black hair, and light green eyes. Her skin looked silky smooth and so fucking soft. It would make a lesser man jealous of having had a female like that. Her hair was long, almost to her waist, and pin-straight. The only thing that lessened her beauty was the sadness in her eyes. It would be clear to anyone with sight that she had been crying. Hell, I would have cried too if I had been in her position. Webb was the perfect specimen of a man.
Just a couple of inches short of my six-foot three stature, he had stormy blue eyes and soft, perfectly-coifed hair. It was messy, sexed-up looking. Perfect. He was leaner than I was, not an ounce of fat on him.
Unless you counted what I hoped was a very fat cock.
Would he bottom or top? I was good with either, no matter what his length and girth. Personally, I've done both and loved every minute of it.
Throughout my ten-mile run, I was thankfully left alone. I had a shit-ton of worry on my shoulders, and it all had to do with Webb. He was obviously miserable without Lena. I could understand why. If I was single, she'd be the first woman I'd be looking to get with.
I had to stop thinking about both them—both of them. Running with a stiff dick was not as easy as fucking with one.
As I rounded the corner of the last stretch of the ten-mile torture, I saw Webb standing next to the Alpha, a 35-year-old male who was mated to a pretty redhead I had met the previous day upon my arrival. Alana was as quirky as a woman could be, yet you could tell she had a heart of gold. Most Lunas did. You couldn't say the same about some Alphas. The power of their position got to their heads in some instances.
I wondered that if choosing a mate were allowed, would I be having the doubts I was having now? I felt like because there were restrictions at this particular pack, I'd been thrust upon Webb's shoulders when he'd been happy enough with his beautiful female. My heart went out to her, it did, but Webb was mine from the start. It just took us longer than usual to find each other.
I bent over at the waist, out of breath after the punishment Webb had given us. Ridiculous really. He was taking out all his guilt and frustrations on us, but as he was in charge, we had no choice but to follow his directions.
"Hugo! Wait up!"
Training was done, and I was on my way home to shower. I walked slowly, hearing Webb coming up at a slow jog behind me.
"What?" I nearly snarled out, irritated at having to deal with this drama of his when I should've been happily mated.
"I'm sorry," Webb said. He sounded contrite enough. "You didn't ask for all this shit, and I'm only making it worse by pushing you away."
"No shit."
I was angry and had every right to be. I left because my ex had found her happily-ever-after. Mine was now surly and ill-tempered, and hung up on some she-wolf that didn't belong to us.
Him. I meant him.
"Let's go home," Webb suggested. "Take a shower together. Fuck. I do want you, but you're just going to have to understand that I want her as well, even if I'm denied that pleasure."
I felt like Grade-D beef. It was okay if it was that or starve, but it wasn't what you went to the store for initially.
"Fuck you!"
I stalked off. I wasn't going to mate with him if he was in love with another. Not until I knew I had his attention, his full attention.
Mate? Ha! What a fucking joke. I had wanted kids too, and now I was stuck with a man who didn't want me, or at least, not really. Instead, he wants his 2.5 children and a wife. The picket fence. Family barbecues. The whole domestic 9 yards.
It was a mistake coming back here. I could deal with an ex who had found her true love. I just couldn't deal with being forced upon someone because of a mating bond.
"Hugo!"
I picked up my pace, grabbing my shirt up off the ground and racing to the house Webb had shared with Lena for the last few years. His home—not mine.
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My shit hadn't even been unpacked. Most of it was still in the boxes and suitcases I had brought from Boulder. My old pack had a small community just to the southwest of the city, and if I only had a place to stay there, that was where I would have wanted to go. I still had friends, but all of them were mated and didn't need me hanging around like some creepy single uncle to their large broods of children.
"You're leaving?"
The voice came from the hall, just outside the door I had slept for all of one night with my mate.
"You don't want me. This should make you happy. I'm taking the decision out of your hands," I said, stuffing my dirty clothing into a box.
"It doesn't make me happy, Hugo," he said. "It makes me fucking furious. I let her go. For you. I knew you were my mate, told you I wouldn't reject you, and you leave because I was an asshole for feeling guilty?"
"Is it just guilt? You already admitted you still want her, still love her."
"Of course, I still love her!" he shouted. "We've been together for over four years. I was the one who picked up the pieces after her true mate died. I was the one who brought her to his grave every year on the anniversary of his death. I was the one she turned to when she was upset. She has no one!"
"She has her family!" I shouted back. "A father, mother...sisters or brothers, or what have you. I didn't fucking sign up for some bleeding heart bullshit, and I don't have to take it."
"Then you might as well fucking kill me!" he spat back. "No true mate, no love! I gave her up for you and you turn away because it's not fucking easy for me to get over her!"
"You're mine, Webb!" I roared. "I don't want to share your heart with someone else! Maybe...maybe it's best I move back to Colorado, distance myself from you. Maybe that'll help you make the right choice for you. I won't be forced into a mating when my destined is confused."
"I am confused. And angry." His voice lost its gusto. "I promised her a life, children. I feel like the world's biggest asshole on all accounts. I picked up the pieces of her shattered heart only to break them again. Every time I look at you or think of her, I feel guilty. Ashamed. I promised not only her, but her family that I would take care of her and never hurt her. I'm a fucking wreck because of that. I was promised to you from birth, but I made other promises along the way. It...it's hard to reconcile that. No matter what I do, I hurt someone irreparably. I fucking hate this shit! I hate that I had to wait, I hate that I'm letting people down! I hate my-own-fucking-self in general right now!" His hands took hold of his hair, gripping and pulling at the strand.
I think I had been too hard on him, but I only wanted what every other wolf had: the love of his mate. Only that. I left my past behind and had said sayonara. I was ripping a hole in the world as he knew it, and the casualties were gruesome. Three hearts, a possible family, one strong female who was probably crying inconsolably, her world crashing down around her ears.
I felt worse about that than anything. I knew I could come to terms with this whole fucking debacle, but if what Webb said was true—and I had no reason to think otherwise—then she was hurt, devastated.
"Have you tried contacting Lena?" I asked softly.
He paused, looking at me and waiting for the other shoe to drop probably.
"Yeah, I tried," he said. I didn't know if he sounded ashamed or angry. "She doesn't answer the mindlink or her texts. The Alpha told me she doesn't want me knowing anything about her."
My brows rose. "Not even to see if she's okay?"
"Nope. She wants no contact, not even by proxy."
"Fuck." She was hurt worse than I thought. Much worse. To break off all ties with someone you had lived with, loved with, just like that? Brutal.
"Maybe it's for the best."
I didn't say that. Webb did, echoing my sentiments from 24 hours ago.
"Maybe if we don't see each other or even know anything about the other...maybe I can push through this. Get past it. I'm sorry. I'm a sorry excuse for a man and mate."
"But you're handsome," I said, smirking a little as he scoffed. "And kind. And caring. Shit, Webb. You care enough about someone to feel like the biggest prick on the planet. That's not the sign of a bad guy. You have a big heart, I can tell. It's just fucking tattered from having to deal with all this. I don't blame you. Hell, I dated, had girlfriends, boyfriends. I even went through a phase where I was a complete jackass and manwhore. But all's I was doing was fucking to feel better. Or to not feel anything at all. Whichever. When I didn't find my mate by 23, I thought I didn't fucking have one at all. That there was something wrong with me. That I wasn't good enough to get one somehow. So, I fucked. I fucked a lot. Men. Women. Unmated, but that didn't matter. I didn't care about their feelings, and I sure as fuck didn't care if they got attached. I was one and done. When I met Cheryl, I—" My throat closed up, the words caught in my throat. "I was happy for her when she found her mate, but I was jealous as well. I didn't love her, not yet, but she showed me that love existed. We were on a date. Our six-month anniversary, if you will, when she met him. She felt so fucking bad, but the man's wolf was out of control, seeing her with another man. Turns out he was only from a pack over from us but had enlisted in the army right out of high school. Stayed for six years until he came back to the area. His first weekend home and he found his mate kissing me in a booth at a restaurant."
Webb was quiet, sniffling. "Worst date ever," he said, a reluctant laugh catching in his throat.
"One for the books, most certainly."
"Are you leaving me?" he asked, wet eyes looking up at me finally.
"Fuck no, Webb," I said, moving closer to him. "You're mine, my person. Or wolf, or whatever. I was angry and wasn't thinking about how you felt."
"We are a bit egocentric at times, we males," he allowed, giving me a sad smile as another tear dripped down his face.
"Let me get you a fucking tissue," I said. I couldn't bear to see him cry. It made my chest throb painfully.
Sweeping into the bathroom, I looked for some Kleenex and found none. There were some makeup-smeared tissues in the small trash can in there, but I figured Webb wouldn't mind using some toilet paper in a pinch. I used up the last of it and, like a good little mate, tossed the empty roll in the bin and added a fresh one to the dispenser. Something odd poked out of the can as I pushed down the debris to make room for the empty roll.
"Webb?" I called out. I couldn't move as my mind ran in circles with the sudden knowledge that things had only gotten more complicated.
"Yeah?" he called from the bedroom.
"You said you've been trying to conceive for how long?"
"Six months. Why?"
I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly.
"You should probably get in here and see this."