Angels PoV
I open my eyes as I hear my alarm go off, Fat Nuggets grunting one annoyance as I sit up after turning it off. "Morning Nugs, time to get up." I whisper, and he glances up at me before yawning and stretching then wagging his little tail as he jumps off the bed.
I chuckle softly, standing up and walking over to my closet, grabbing out some pig food and filling up his bowl. He looks up at me before letting out a soft squeal, "Oh I almost forgot!" I then grab out a sliced up carrot and put it in, watching as he chomps down into the food.
I hear my stomach growl but I shake my head, walking into my bathroom and stripping. I glance in the mirror and glare at my body, slightly exposed ribs and spine, my hip bones pointing out slightly just like my spine and collar bone. I turn on a hot shower and stretch as I wait for it to heat up before stepping in and smiling as the heat rushes against my body.
After washing my body and hair, I step out and dry off before walking back to my closet and putting on my normal attire then doing my makeup and finally brushing my hair. Once I'm finished, I walk out into the long, empty hallway.
The scent of eggs fill the air around me and I hear my stomach growl loudly, some drool slipping from my mouth before I wipe it away and walk down the staircase and into the dining area.
I look over at Alastor, Vaggie, Niffty, Baxter, Crymini and the others who are all eating. I sit down and Razzle sets a plate down in front of me, I look over at Charlie and Vaggie, who nod their heads encouragingly, then back to the plate full of food. "Well what are you waiting for, Angel?" I look over at Alastor he wipes his mouth with a napkin, my stomach growling slightly. Razzle and Dazzle walk up to me, Dazzle nudging my leg softly and Razzle whimpering a little.
Charlie stands up and walks to me, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Please eat,Angel. You need to eat something, even if it's just one meal. Please?" She whispers, and I look at her before sighing as I pick up the fork and eating a bite of eggs. "Good job!" She whispers, hugging me before returning to her seat, Razzle and Dazzle smiling up at me before scattering back to their food.
'DONT swallow it.' I freeze at the voice, I look at Vaggie who smiles slightly at me, before forcing myself to swallow. I can feel Charlie's happiness radiate in the room. 'DISGUSTING. DISAPPOINTMENT. YOU'RE GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT.!' I ignore the voice, forcing myself to swallow each bite. 'I'm doing this to make her happy, I'm doing it for her.' I think to myself as I swallow the last bite and drinking some water.
I stand up and sigh as Niffty grabs my plate and cup before dashing back to the kitchen. 'Bathroom. Now.' I rush to the bathroom, hearing Charlie sigh behind me, before leaning over the toilet and feeling the food come up but I narrow my eyes as I hold it back. 'What are you doing?! We have to-'
I feel a hand in my shoulder, "You did good, Angel. You can still do it." I look up at her and smile slightly, 'I don't care, at least one meal a day. I have to do this, for her.' I think and the voice remains silent as I walk back to my room, grabbing the dog toy Nugget has and playing tug of war with him.
I laugh as he flips over from pulling to hard and me letting it go, choking on my own spit as he glares at me playfully. I giggle, picking him up and smiling at him. "You're one of the reasons I smile every day." I say softly, and he lets out a squeal of happiness.
"Angel," there's a knock on the doorframe, I look over and am met with Alastor smiling wider than ever, "You have a visitor!" He chirps. I set Fat Nuggets down, tilting my head slightly at him.
"Huh-" "ANGIEEE!!!" I am then tackled in a hug by my sister, Molly. "W-WOAH MOLLY IM GLAD TO SEE YOU TO-" "ANGEL I HEARD WHAT YOU DID TODAY! IM SO PROUD OF YOU, YOU ACTUALLY ATE! EVEN IF IT WAS JUST BREAKFAST, IM PROUD OF YOU!" I chuckle, hugging her back.
"Angel, May I ask who this is?" I push my sister off me and stick my tongue out at her, Molly giggles in response. "My apologies, I'm Molly. Angels twin sister!" She says, standing up and helping me to my feet. "Yeah but I'm like two second older-" she hits me upside the head making me cackle like a hyena.
Alastor chuckles softly before nodding his head, "Alastor my dear, pleasure to meet you." He kisses my sisters hand and she smiles at him brightly. "Nice to meet you, Alastor." After some time of them chatting, he leaves and she looks at me before pulling out a ukulele and smirking at me. "How about you sing, maybe about how you're feeling right now?" She suggests, smirking wider.
"No I cant-" she gives me a smug look, "no, Mols." She smirks wider, "ugh fine. Give me a tune." She strums a little bit before settling on a tune and I smile.
"I don't wanna die or fade away, I just wanna be someone. I just wanna be someone." I sing, and she smiles at me nodding her head to the beat.
"Dive and disappear without a trace. I just wanna be someone, well doesn't everyone?" I tap my foot and stand up, making her giggle, "And if you feel the great dividing, I wanna be the one you're guiding. 'Cause I believe that you can lead the way." I look at her, the markings on my fur turning hot pink as joy fills my heart, "I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh. I wanna be somebody to someone, oh. I never had nobody and no road home. I wanna be somebody to someone!" She stands up as well and I walk around the room, Nuggets following me and jumping to the beat.
"And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold. Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall. I really need somebody to call my own! I wanna be somebody to someone! Someone to you," I do a twirl as my sister uses her lower arms to shake some bells, "someone to you, someone to you! Someone to you!" I jump onto my vanity chair and smile as I sing a little louder, "I don't even need to change the world. I'll make the moon shine just for your view. I'll make the starlight circle the room. And if you feel like night is falling, I wanna be the one you're calling. 'Cause I believe that you can lead the way. I just wanna be somebody to someone,oh. I wanna be somebody to someone, oh. I never had nobody and no road home. I wanna be somebody to someone." I glance at her and she giggles. "And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold. Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall. I really need somebody to call my own! I wanna be somebody to someone! Someone to you. Someone to you. Someone to you!" Molly joins in with me, swaying her hips as I dance to the music, Nuggets letting out squeals of excitement.
"The kingdom come, the rise, the fall. The setting sun above it all! I just wanna be somebody to you!" I swiftly pick up Nuggets, throwing him in the air and catching him as he squeals with happiness.
"And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold. Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall. I really need somebody to call my own. I wanna be somebody to someone! Someone to you, someone to you, someone to you, someone to you, someone to you..." I sing softer as my sister finishes the beat.
We glance at each other before smiling and laughing. "Angie, you didn't even warm up and you're voice sounded like an angel!" She says between giggles, "no shit! Because my name is ANGEL." I cackle at that and we calm down after a while.
We sit back on my bed in a comfortable silence but she sighs, "Angel...how are you really feeling? Like..how do you truly feel..?" I look at her and then at my hands.
'Pathetic.' I gulp at the familiar voice before blinking away some tears. "How about...you sing about it?" She whispers, and I chuckle softly. "No..I'm fine." I look up at her and she smiles back at me, hugging me before standing up. "I must be on my way. I'll see you soon, brother." With that she leaves,shutting the door. I whimper and let a tear fall from my eyes before pulling my legs to my chest, sobbing softly. 'Disgusting piece of garbage. You don't deserve to eat, live, nor love. Why even bother? You'll just even more fat.'
"Shut up..shut up.." I whisper, gripping my hair and pulling at it as the voice gets louder. My breathing picks up, and I begin to shake as the voice makes sure I feel like shit.
"Angel.?! Angel! Hey! Jesus Christ... HEY!" I look up, meeting the eyes of Charlie, "Hey...there you are. It's okay, c'mere." I allow her to bring me into a hug as I sob in her shoulder. "Angel.?! Charlie, what happened?" "Panic attack...I think he's been getting worse." "But he was doing just fine! What happened..?!" "Vaggie calm down...go get Niffty to get him some water, Oh and make her give him some tissues." "On it!"
She rubs my back as I sob harder, "Angel, here you go. Don't cry, breathe for me. Please?" I look over at Niffty, taking the cup of water and taking a sip. Alastor making his way in only to stop and stare at me. "Well what happened here?" He asks, walking over and standing beside Niffty. "Panic attack. But..he'll be fine. Right Angel?" I look over at Charlie and nod my head, smiling slightly at her.
After some time of them comforting me, and Alastor just staring, they leave me alone and I am left alone. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched.
'Wow you really are PATHETIC.' I groan softly, "Shut it. Making me have a panic attack.. scaring the shit out of them?! You've caused me enough pain today. I already know I'm pathetic and all that shit" i walk over to my closet, grabbing a white sweater, stripping myself of my clothes, leaving my boxers on, and pausing to look at my body. I grab the sides of my stomach as it lets out a loud growl. "...not now. I already ate breakfast. That's enough. No more eating.. no matter how much it hurts." I whispers, pulling the sweater over me and wrapping all of my arms around me letting out whimpers.
I look around, the feeling of being watched not leaving. "I'm just being paranoid. I'm not being watched." I say.
Alastors PoV
'That's what you think.' I think to myself, watching as the spider walks over to the mirror and sighs. "I've been getting even worse.. but that voice comes back to say, 'you want to eat? Bite your tongue'. It hurts... god it hurts. But it feels good, how do I quit doing this? I know I could die but..the voice is with me through thick and thin." He says, letting a tear fall.
"I can reach out to someone not like me, if I ask for help it doesn't make me weak." He lifts up a piece of paper, before dropping it once again. "Shut up..I need help." I tilt my head, was he talking to himself, or that voice in his head? "Val wouldn't like it if I starved myself even more..and I don't like it when he gets angry..everything I do for him and he just makes me worse.." he whispers, walking back and forth, obviously deep in thought as he paced.
"...I never had nobody and no road home..I want to be somebody to someone." He whispers softly before picking up his sister left over ukulele and picking it up smiling as he strummed it slightly.
"God damn it, why is this so hard?! I have another reason to..continue to eat and live. But what is that reason? Hah. It's pathetic." The spider says, before sighing and collapsing on his bed. "I'm such a..disappointment. Why do they put up with me..?" And with that he rolls over and falls asleep.
I stalk back into the shadows, letting out a low growl.