Chapter Twenty-Nine
Now
"We will need a plan first." Luke said. "You can't just go in there all guns blazing. You don't know anything about her anymore."
I narrowed my eyes, "I know her, Luke." I replied. "I know her instincts, I know her reactions, I may not have seen her in three years, but I know her, this is something that just needs to be done."
Chantelle rolled her eyes but, and this must have been difficult for her, kept her gob shut. She just sat there, leg crossed over the other, nursing the last sips of her brew.
They were both wrong, of course I knew her, she was my girl. I'd been with her for a long time, I'd shared memories with her that nobody else has. I'd grown up with her, become a man in front of her eyes. I knew her, she may be trying to hide who she was but she was still the same person I had met at school and fell in love with.
"That isn't the same thing, Jamie." He countered. "Look, she has her own independent life out in the city, she isn't the same girl who planned on living in the same town her whole life, cutting the hair of the same women and men week in and week out."
I disagreed, of course she was the same person. I was the same person I was three years ago. I mean, I have more brains but that is just from experience, I still feel the same. She was the love of my life, I wanted to see her. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, tell her how deeply sorry I was that I got her into this mess. Apologise properly for the lies I told and grieve for the daughter we lost together.
"You'll see." I warned him. His words did make me think for a second though. "When I saw her in Tony's office, Tony told her to keep her boyfriend out of his club. What do you think that means?"
"Well, it obviously means that she has a boyfriend, someone who is actually looking out for her." The jab didn't go amiss. A clench of my fist was all I could manage to stop myself from snapping back. I had her back, I wasn't to know that Jay would betray me and tell of her existence. If I had known, if I had known, I would have moved heaven and Earth to protect her.
I just didn't see it coming. I was so arrogant I didn't think anyone would dare make a move against me. The only two people in the gang who knew about her was Jay and Luke and despite Jay's misgivings and tortured mind, I thought I could trust him with that. I found out too late that I couldn't. He was lucky he was already dead because I nearly dug his corpse up and decapitated it.
I had to settle for trashing his grave instead which didn't give me the satisfaction I had craved – even after murdering four people. Well, murdering wasn't the correct word. More like, revenge and it was beautiful. If I had the time, I would have planned their deaths a lot more carefully. They still suffered, but they should have been tortured.
The light as it left their bodies, I will never ever forget that satisfaction. The relief that I had finally done something good for the first time in years was a huge adrenaline rush.
Now that I know that they didn't kill her and that she survived doesn't take even an ounce of pleasure away from that night. They still killed my daughter and they took Megan away from me. The only good thing it did was give me an out for the organised gang culture with my head.
If it wasn't for that moment, I would never have got out and would have continued to have lied to Megan and our daughter, who would be here. I just couldn't have lost her and I did anyway.
"Well, if she has a boyfriend, shouldn't he be looking after her?" I countered. "He knows what she does for a living because that is why she was being told off – he turned up."
"He might be in some shady business as well." Luke said. "I've never heard of the guy before – did they give a name?"
I shook my head. "No, just the boyfriend." I said with distaste. He sounds like a prick. I hadn't slept with anyone since Megan. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was set up often enough from colleagues at work but I never had the effort. I had the perfect girl – nobody could top her.
"Well, like I said, we need a plan going into this. Your gung-ho, charge in at the last second didn't really work for Zak and Megan has more to lose. I'd really suggest you make a plan before you storm in all guns blazing." Luke advised.
"What plan do you suggest? I can't let Tony know I have a connection with her if by some miracle he doesn't know. I also can't let her create a scene inside which will make it obvious-"
"Well it is simple then, isn't it?" Chantelle interrupted. "Drive back down there an wait for her shift to finish."
"I want her out of there now." I repeated with gritted teeth.
"And you can't do that. Look, it is already late you should be able to get back down there before her shift finishes hopefully and if not, turn up tomorrow at 5pm or whenever strip clubs open. You don't know where she lives so the only place you know she will go is there."
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. She was correct, it was my only option. I just didn't want to choose it.
"Okay, I'll drive back down now."
She gulped and her eyes went to the bottle of whiskey by my feet. "Maybe wait until tomorrow? You can both kip here on the sofa and the floor."
I gritted my teeth to stop myself from saying no and reluctantly nodded my head, whilst looking at Luke who agreed. The last thing I needed was to get caught drunk driving now when I've spent so long on the run.
********
I awoke from sleeping on the floor with a stiff stretch. I'd slept worse, sure, but then, I didn't really sleep. I must have dozed off at some point but I don't remember doing. Luke's snoring was enough to keep anyone awake. I must have somehow got used to it.
"You need to get that checked out Snory McGee." I complained.
He scoffed. "I don't snore." He was still laid down under the pink blanket, one eye still shut. "What time is it?"
I grabbed my phone from charging and unlocked it. "6am."
"Fuck sake. How is it so early?"
I shrugged my shoulders and got up off the floor and moved to the chair, rubbing my eyes of sleep. "No idea but it must have been after 2am when we went to sleep. Turn back over if you want. I'm gonna go for a run anyway."
"A run? Are you nuts?"
"It's all I can do to keep from going crazy. Don't you ever feel guilty or bad for the things we did back then?"
He sat a bit further up on the sofa. "Some of it, yeah." He replied. "Do you?"
"No. I wish I never got involved to save Megan and like to think from time to time what it would have been like to grow up normal but I don't regret my actions. I did the best I could in a bad situation." I shrugged. "Maybe I regret going too far in some of my fights, maybe I shouldn't have punched that guy so hard that I punctured his lung. Eh, I don't know."
"God, I remember that. It was bad."
"I know, I just couldn't stop. All I could think was that I needed to win. Poor guy."
"How come anyway?"
"Well, it's why I run. I don't know why I don't feel guilty but I don't so when I run, all I can think about is the task at hand. Nothing else is important other than putting one foot in front of the other. Same when I go to the gym, it is some sort of release."
"Shit Jamie." He whispered.
Even he knew it was messed up. I don't if I've been through too much to care about anyone anymore or if I was born like this but all those people who bought our drugs, all I saw was it being their fault. I never forced anyone to take drugs, I didn't force it down their throats or push them to buy. That was all on them. All I did was supply and make sure I had a route in all the major areas. I wasn't going to take freewill away from people.
I wasn't stupid enough to know not to take drugs but others didn't. It was unfortunate but it wasn't my problem. If everyone was the same, it would be a boring world.
I got up off the chair. "Anyway, I won't be too long. It's gonna be a long day if I am going to get Megan back." The thought scared me. I know I've seen her since I returned but I didn't really get a good look at her. This was the first time she would know I was back, properly, if she recognised me yesterday, and I would actually get to speak with her.
I was nervous more than anything. What if she rejected me? What if she told me she wished I thought she was still dead? Oh god, I was worried how she would react. I had to assume she knew the full story of why she was attacked.
"Luke, Megan knows the full story doesn't she?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah she knows."
"Good."
I sighed, I was going to have to go running in jeans. It wasn't ideal but I did need to get out of here at least for half an hour. Just something to take my mind off everything. Tonight was going to be huge. I'd have to grab my headphones from the car.
I hoped with everything in me that she believed me and let me help her. Regrettably, even if it meant saving her boyfriend too with getting her away from Tony Holt. If he just thinks she is some hussy that has run out on him, as long as she doesn't steal from him, he won't make much of a fuss. Besides, she and her boyfriend appear to have caused a bit of trouble so it was probably better for him and his business.
I really didn't want to meet this boyfriend though. I was incredibly jealous right now and I almost wanted to just find him first and rough him up.
"See you in a bit." And with that, I was out the front door.