Belladonna's point of view
My eyes watched the girl strictly, curious about what her next move would be. Though my words were out of pure frustration, I did want to see how she would act upon them. Surely they threw her off. In no way was I upset with her, but my actions have always been controlled by my temper no matter who they were towards. A toxic trait of mine.
The girl stood still, nearly frozen. Her trust with me was not where I wanted it. As many times as I told her I would never harm her, in any way, she still held some resistance. That's not what I wanted. I wanted the girl to seek protection in me. Safety in me. Even more than that. However, there was no way I'd ever admit it.
Something about her pulled at me in a way I had never felt before. She was dangerous. Should be locked up and kept away. No one could find out about her. If so it would be the very beginning of my tragic downfall.
It petrified me once the realization hit. Much like I had done to her.
Now it was my turn to get her to relax.
"Come, I want to show you something," I changed the subject keeping in mind the goal I had.
The girl's face held a confused expression. Surely my indecisiveness was troubling her.
I took Dianely downstairs, and through the front doors of the castle. We walked towards the stable. Before she could get excited I did inform her that we were not here to visit her pesky friend. I'm gonna end up having to dispose of him soon with or without her consent.
He was a threat. A nuisance.
He had the upper hand. If he was gone, I wouldn't have to worry as much.
I made sure to lead Dianely around the opposite side of the stables. A side I believe Ezekiel hadn't taken her on. There, was a small section separated from the rest. Almost hidden.
As the tiny winged horses came into sight, her face lit up. The ever so warm feeling poured throughout my body seeing how excited she got. Yes, something else. Another thing to earn her admiration. I was starting to run out of time. Once the snow falls, if her heart is cold towards me, I may just have to consider taking Ambrosia up on her proposal.
"They have babies!" She shouted and ran fast towards the foals.
There were four in total. Barely two days old. Three all black with white patches above their nose. One speckled and a little more rambunctious than the rest.
Dianely's hand petted over each foal as they pranced happily around her. Her attention had eventually focused on the speckled foal. He hopped around her, please at the affection he was earning.
"He's yours if you'd like," I spoke to her as I rested my hands on the short gate.
She turned to me first excited and then confused.
"Do you not like him?" I asked, concerned I had offered her something she wasn't fond of.
"No, it's not that I just..." she paused. "Why?"
"Why?" I asked.
Normally when offered a gift you don't reply with 'why'.
"Why are you so nice to me and not anyone else?" Her question caught me off guard.
I pressed my lips together, trying to come up with an answer that didn't necessarily give away my hidden obsession with the girl.
"It's not that I don't appreciate it or whatever but it makes everyone else treat me differently and..."
"Who's treating you differently?" I asked now upset. "And how are they treating you?"
"Well I mean it is kind of unfair..."
"That's not what I asked you, Dianely. Answer me."
The girl looked down at her hands. She clearly didn't want to tattle on anyone and cause what could very well be another dead body splattered on the marble floor.
I opened the gate to meet her and sat beside her on the dirty ground. Her eyes remained focused on the floor and refused to find mine.
With one finger, I lifted her chin so she didn't have a choice but to look at me. Her body was tense, indicating that her uncertainness of my next move left her uneasy.
"How many times do I have to tell you..."
"I know you won't hurt me, your majesty..." she spoke over me.
"Belladonna," I cut her off.
She furrowed her brows.
"The title sounds rather strange coming from you," I said. "Call me Belladonna."
She sighed.
Again not the reaction I wanted. What was I doing wrong? I've given her her own room, taken her out of the castle, offered her a pet. Why doesn't she like me? I've never had this much trouble getting a woman to fall for me. Shouldn't this be easy?
"What makes me different?" Dianely asked.
I was puzzled by her question.
"There must be something. Why do you treat me differently than you do the rest of the maids? Why won't you hurt me, and don't say it's because you don't want to because that doesn't make any sense to me. You are absolutely abusive towards everyone else but you aren't to me and I want to know why. I at least deserve that," she said frustrated.
Abusive? Is that what she thinks of me?
"Belladonna!"
My eyes shot back up towards hers.
"I want an answer!"
"You never answered mine," I said trying not to sound too bitchy.
"Literally everyone is treating me as if I'm sort of teacher's pet. They all hate me and don't see why I get to do basically what I please and they have to live by orders still," she answered.
"You still live by my orders, they just aren't as strict. I made them that way on purpose. To me, you are more than a maid and you should be treated as such. My leniency towards you is no one else's business. They are simply jealous," I said.
"Yes, but I understand why," she said.
"I don't understand why you are upset by this," I said.
"Because I just... I don't understand what makes me different to you," she said whispering the last part.
"If I knew that answer myself, I would be happy to share it with you. However, just know that my actions towards you have never been out of anything but my highest form of regard," I whispered back even though I was very aware of the reason now.
Of course, she pouted and rolled her eyes. This wasn't taken to heart. If anything I found it rather amusing.
"You are quite adorable when angry," I said softly. "You're so tiny I'm a bit shocked by how much frustration you are able to store."
"Dude, I'm going to throw something at you," she looked at me displeased.
"Dude?" I laughed. "Ew, don't ever call me that!"
We laughed for a moment, then silence fell upon us. I watched as she continued to play with the foal. This was all foreign to me. The fact that she saw me for my anger rather than my kindness struck a nerve in me. Not in a way that made me mad but made me upset instead. She was young and lively and to her, I was mean and callous. A monster of some sort.
Though I neglected to raise a hand to her, she defined me by my actions towards others. I would never hurt her, but hurting others seemed to have to the same effect on her as if it were her I had harmed.
I don't understand her sympathy for others. I don't understand why she isn't happy with what I've provided her with. What more could I do? What am I missing? Where is the key I've seemed to misplace that will open her mind and make her realize that all I want is her? Why isn't our bond what it should be?
It had gotten late. The sun had taken refuge behind the forest line. I was out on the balcony, still pondering what my next move would be. Was there something else I could get her? Maybe flowers? I don't know that sounds pointless. They'd die and become redundant.
"Don't think too hard you'll brain will concave," Odette's wise words came from behind me.
"Thank you for the reminder," I muttered.
She walked up next to me and looked out to the darkness the world had become.
"Let me give you some advice, though I'm sure you won't listen because you never do," she criticized me. "If you want to grab her attention, a pet horse isn't the way to do it."
I huffed.
"She seemed to like him," I mumbled.
"She was also pissed at you for spoiling her," the older woman spat. "Admiration and love aren't earned by gifts Belladonna."
"Then what is it?" I spoke louder. "Since you seem to know so much about it."
"I've found my other half haven't I?" She reminded me. "Just because she's your soul half doesn't mean she's gonna fall right into your arms on command. The girl is stubborn and very opinionated, much like you. If you want that bond to grow and secure, you will have to do it the right way. Horses aren't the right way."
My head fell into my hands.
"There are things you've done that haunt her. Reminders that are keeping her from exploring. That is what she thinks of you because that's all you've let her see. She knows you by murder, by torture, by emotionless. She doesn't know you as I do. There is a whole other side you are keeping from her. That's where you've gone wrong."
"She thinks I'm abusive," I recalled her words.
"Not towards her, but to others you are. She sees that. You want her to stop thinking such things, you need to stop doing such things. Actions speak louder than words Belladonna. Until she sees that you aren't crooked anymore and you show her you're just as vulnerable, she will never look at you any differently," Odette pointed out.
I was speechless. Before she even arrived I had no longing to seek approval from someone. Now here I am, disappointed in myself for allowing her to become scared of me in the first place.