"What happened?" Malik eyes my suitcase as I pull it forcefully. "Where are you going, Professor?"
I halt and sigh heavily, my face stained with tears. "She knows everything now. It's over, Malik."
Slowly Malik strides over and pulls me into his arms. Heavy sobs take the best of me like a child, face buried on his chest. I let my tears flow, free without holding back.
"Oh, Professor. I don't know what to say," Malik breathes while rubbing my back soothingly.
I pull out of his arms and sniff. "It's okay. You don't need to say anything, because I deserve what's happening."
Why not? I'm the villain of my own story after all.
"I don't think I agree with you," Malik tells me softly, his smile forced and rueful. I just shrug, not knowing what to say. "You're still leaving?" His eyes darken.
"Sam and I can't be at the same place so I better leave right now," I say urgently before picking the handle of my suitcase.
"Come on, Professor," Malik mutters piteously. "Maybe we can all sit down and talk about this?" he suggests.
I stifle a laugh. "You think sitting down and talking will fix this? This is not business, Malik, and I know Sam well enough to realize that she would never give me even a second of her time."
"Okay, let me take you to a hotel." Malik snatches the suitcase handle from my hold.
"No, Malik, I'll just—" I try to argue but the solid look he gives me pushes my words back. "Fine, but only until town. I want to be alone tonight and I hope you can understand me."
"Crystal clear, Professor. Besides, you won't get a taxi until the main road and it's pretty far from here. I just want to make sure you're safe."
I don't argue.
Malik drives in silence, making me wonder what's going on in his mind. I watch South beach sliding by as we move, and a couple of sighs escape my lungs every now and then.
But amid all this, a part of me is very relieved. Keeping this secret has been nothing but a torture so it's all for the best. I just want to go back home and maybe think of my next life ahead.
"When are you going back to Los Angeles?" Malik cuts through the silence, gazing at me briefly.
"Even tonight if I can."
"Are you going to tell Liam?"
"I don't know."
He sighs heavily. "I don't think I understand you, Professor, but I respect your decision. But... Does this mean you're ending what you have with Liam now?"
I don't think that's what I'm set for, but I want both of our choices to be clear this time around, without any restraints, with sound mind.
"Maybe the time to see what we really have has finally come," I mutter under my breath and close my eyes.
Malik drops me off at the city center, buzzed with people and restaurants. I inhale the chilled air and my curls stir slightly from the light breeze.
Another hard part is saying goodbye to Malik. I hate goodbyes. He has been very good to me, and I'll forever remember him as a wonderful friend who embraced my presence in a very special way. I watch him take off my suitcase, his face devoid of joy.
I hope we can meet again.
"Thank you," I tell him as he rises up while slamming the car trunk.
We haul a taxi which coasts a few moments later.
"Are you seriously doing this, Professor?" he asks yet again, as the driver pulls my suitcase into the taxi. "There's still time to change your mind. You can call Liam and try to talk about this. I know you're confused and overwhelmed but . . ." His voice trails off and a long breath leaves his mouth.
"I'm just going to California, Malik, not Africa," I say coolly, a small smile on my face.
He manages to laugh, although faintly and laconically.
"Yes, that's the Malik I know. Thank you so much for always being there for me. This trip would've been colorless without your presence and you've been the biggest reason for my smile," I confess.
"Oh stop now, Professor!" He hides his face away, a bit chagrined from my words.
But I mean it.
"You can visit me if you want," I say truthfully. "I wouldn't be happy to lose you too."
"You won't," he utters, and it feels like a very beautiful promise.
I march over and wrap my arms around him, to hug him tight. His body stiffens at first, as though I've taken him by total surprise, but he slowly relaxes and sets his hands on my waist. The smell of his expensive cologne engulfs my nostrils, and I close my eyes for a moment, indulging his warmth.
Why didn't I fall for him instead? Again this crosses my mind very treacherously. Things would've been less complicated, right? I wouldn't have to hide it from the only person I considered a friend, and possibly I wouldn't be in such a loss right now.
But easier said than done.
When we pull apart, I read sadness all over Malik's face, and another kind of emotion that I can't quite explain makes his eyebrows knit together. He looks at me closely and intensely, as if he has something important to say, or a deep confession to make.
"You're an amazing woman, Kira," he whispers while stroking his thumb on my cheek.
Embarrassed, my cheeks heat up. I hardly hear such words so I don't know how to respond. To him I've always been Professor, not a woman.
"I got to go, Malik." I try to stay composed. "Thank you for everything." I kiss him on the cheek, and his big eyes close adorably.
Smiling faintly, I turn my back to hop into the taxi that's been waiting for ages. The driver is probably wondering why we're having a display of affection in the middle of the city instead of wherever we came from.
But before I grab the door handle, Malik holds my hand briskly.
My brain fails to register a thing when he hauls me back to him. Gasping, I lay my hands on his shoulders, my petite body pressed harder onto his. My breath turns heavy when I gaze up at him. He swallows nervously, but with confidence that emboldens his shiny eyes gazing back at me.
I don't understand this attitude until his mouth lands on mine.
My heart rate increases but I get too stupefied to react even when his lips control mine. The world around us halts and everything ceases to exist. I don't know what to do or feel so I stay frozen, eyes wide, mind bonked.
As if the spell has suddenly broken, Malik pulls back stoutly and snaps, "I'm sorry, Kira. Fuck, what have I done? I'm so sorry!" He seems panicked, regret pooled in his eyes.
"I—" Nothing leaves my mouth so I stammer and swallow tightly. The only thing I manage to say is "Goodbye, Malik," and turn around as fast as I can.
This is madness!
"Professor," Malik starts but I cut him off by reaching the taxi and slide in. "I'm sorry," he mouths, eyeing me through the open door.
"Please, don't!" I stop him, breathless. I hold the door handle without looking at him as I say, "I'll pretend it didn't happen. So should you. Please."
"Understood," he says simply.
I slam the door shut and settle heavily in my seat at the back. I need to let everything go before I lose my mind. This is all too much for me. The more I stay here the crazier I'm afraid I'd get.
About an hour later I settle inside the hotel room. As soon as I lay down I think of no one but Liam. Even though I want to leave as quietly as I can, I still think I need to talk to him and close this chapter. If I'm ending this story, then I gotta do it right and not like this.
He deserves my explanation, and my goodbye too at the very least.
"Kira, are you okay?" he asks desperately when he answers my call.
I puff some air and whisper, "I must go, Liam."
"No, you can not do that, Kira! You and I have to talk. Tell me where you are and I'll be there," he snaps.
"No, I'm begging you to listen to me, Liam. Please," I plead. He breathes soundly, giving me his full attention. "I love you so much and this time I'm sure of it. I want so badly to be with you, so badly, Liam, but I can't do it right now. Just not now." Tears barrel down my face.
"Why?" he demands.
"Because if I stay I wouldn't want to let you go, and I feel like eventually I'll have to let you go for some reason," I admit, considering the fact that he's from London, not here. "I'm going back to Los Angeles right, so you know where to find me if you still think I'm the woman you want. I need you to think it over, Liam, just as I want to accept that I've lost someone important in my life today."
I want us to be together with a clear conscience of what we're doing. It won't matter anymore, as long as he's sure of his decision. I'm giving him time to either back off or go all the way. If it was just a whim, I want him to know before we make another regrettable mistake.
"You're out of your mind! You think I'm not certain of my feelings toward you?" Liam barks, his voice angered and irritated. "Are you trying to test me, Kira?"
No, that's not it.
"You can call it however you want, Liam. For all I know, I may be nothing but just a momentary attraction that's bound to fade once it grows old in your eyes. It happens, right? We may believe we love someone but in reality it's nothing but a short-lived attraction," I blurt out like a fool, for my head and heart are in a stiff battle for dominance over my thoughts and decisions.
Precisely why I need to go. I can't think clearly right now. At all.
"So, you're leaving me, huh?" I can feel his pain.
"Yes, Liam," I answer truthfully. "I want a fresh start, somewhere far away from here."
"Kira, we—" He sighs heavily.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. If only we met at a different circumference, I swear I'd be the first one to make a move on you—that's how crazy I am for you, Mr. Darcy. But I have to go now. Like I said, you know where to find me," I finish and hang up, my eyes heavy with tears and fear of what he may choose to do next.
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The End!
Just kidding. Don't forget to hit the star.