"I know you don't like to talk about it but I can't help but to wonder, you said you don't know much about sex yet that's what you went through right?"
I blink in surprise not knowing how to answer such a question.
"Well... I-I don't know..." I sigh, watching him take a drag of his blunt. We were in his room now. "I guess then I always tried my best to block it out. I mean even up to this year I never really went out my way to find out why people liked sex so much since you know... I hated it," I laugh awkwardly, scratching my arm nervously. "But um..." I sit up and he follows, now dressed in a pair of clean boxers. "I became curious when I met you," I admit to him, not really giving it too much thought.
He makes a face, surprised. "Me?" He scoffs but not in disgust. It's almost as if he's astonished. "Why?"
"Well isn't it obvious..." I say avoiding eye contact and rubbing my feet together. "I like you dummy."
He doesn't respond right away and I look up to see his ears darkening. "You gotta give me some time. I don't know how to respond to that."
Although, I feel sad at that it's understandable. I can't just rush my feelings onto him, especially if he's not sure of his own.
"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I understand how weird it is and... I tried—" For some reason I suddenly feel all stuffed up with emotions. "I tried not to like you but... clearly it didn't work," I laugh, wiping my watery eyes.
He hums, leaning over to tap his blunt in an ashtray.
"We're supposed to be brothers," he states then, nonchalantly as he leans back against his headboard.
I frown, suddenly feeling self conscious in his hoodie.
"I know," I state, not looking at him as I fidget with my hands. "Don't remind me."
He laughs eventually, an airy humor filled laugh before leaning over and kissing me.
I kiss him back eagerly and his hand that's still holding his blunt grips my jaw, pulling me away.
"You'll never be my brother," he says lowly, his eyes dark and tone set.
I'm trying to catch my breath, my face hot and lips swollen as my heart races. I watch him calmly take another drag before blowing it out between us.
His eyes not once leaving my own.
'*'
When I wake up my body feels hot and I'm confused because I rarely get this feeling but here it is, taking over and making me feel relentless and needy.
"Elias?"
The room is dim from the table light and I'm naked besides Eli's hoodie that's currently swallowing me whole.
I turn to look up at said boy who's knocked out besides me.
"Elias?" I call again, hand coming to caress his bare chest.
He hums, still asleep as I pout, hard and horny.
"I'm hard," is all I say and he opens his eyes to stare at me before snorting and closing them again.
I sigh, frowning as I lay back against his pillow with unwanted thoughts.
He's had Tyla here now that I'm thinking about it and it kind of makes me feel a bit jealous. More than jealous really... when I think of the way she sounded on those nights.
"Fuck Elias. Fuuuck."
They definitely had intercourse and I don't know how to go about that. Like I know it's expected when you're dating someone but we're clearly not dating.
Nonetheless, I have this craving...
Of wanting him to fuck me.
Of wanting to be better.
I sigh, turning to him again and pressing my face along his neck. I breathe in the smell of his warm, fresh scented cologne before taking in his relaxed, hard built body going up and down. He was sleep again I figured as I run my hand down his torso. His body runs hot and the whole room smells like him.
It makes me feel overwhelmed with thoughts of doing things that would drop a nun to her death.
"Jesus," I gape while looking at his dick in the moonlight.
It was fucking huge.
I was in awe, the urge to wrap my hand around him too strong to ignore.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He grumbles sleepily as I drag my hand up and down before stopping at the top to rub his pink tip.
"Nothing," I say innocently, him not pushing me away even when I sit up to push his boxers down.
He sighs tiredly but opens his eyes to watch me straddle him with the blanket, my hand still dragging up and down his growing member.
"Woah," I start, fixing his hood on my head, "It's so big."
He lefts out a soft curt sound, eyes heavy on me as I hesitate on a thought.
"I want to taste you," I say, suddenly but surely. There was nothing more that I wanted in this moment.
He doesn't respond, just looks down at his dick before looking up at me again.
"But you can't watch," I smile sheepishly before covering my head with the blanket and leaning down.
I swallow nervously, completely in the dark as I lead his cock to my mouth and wrap my lips around him.
I've done this before yet it's different of course now. It's something I want to do, not something I'm being forced to do.
And oddly I kind of like it, the taste of him. He's not dirty, or smelly like he just worked a 12 hour shift at a mill and came back from a pub.
He's nothing like I was used to...
"Fuck," he groans, stomach clenching under my hands as I take him down all the way, only breathing through my nose as he hits the back of my throat.
"Javier."
I smile at the sound of my name falling out of his lips and he pulls the cover off of me, glaring.
I meet his eyes as I drag my tongue from his balls to his tip. He stares intensely, eyes falling shut and groaning as I wrap my mouth around him and suck.
"Hm," I laugh a little bit when I pull off, jerking him. "You like it."
"Who taught you that?" He asks, gaze deep and serious.
I bite my lip, jaw sore from bobbing. "If I tell you it would ruin the mood."
He snorts, suddenly pushing me off and flipping us over.
My eyes widen and I blink up at him.
"What—"
"Suck."
He's holding out three fingers and I don't even hesitate to wrap my mouth around them, sucking them until they're soaked and he's breathing hard.
"Wait, I'm scared," I panic, grabbing his wrist when I realize what he wants.
"Don't be," he says quietly before leaning in to kiss me softly.
It warm, reassuring and sweet. I gasp then, one of his fingers pressing against my entrance.
"Woah," I whimper, still gripping his wrist as his finger pushes through. "Oh fuck," I cry, it sliding into my tight space with a little resistance until it reaches the hilt, my body tensing up.
"Relax," he stares softly, "I know what I'm doing," he assures me although his finger is searching unknowingly.
I yelp when he touches my prostate and he jumps a little, eyes searching me weirdly.
"What?" He demands almost seeming frightened as I glare.
"You said you knew what you were doing," I accuse, pouting.
"Well I know my instincts. I never said I fucked another nigga though."
"You want to fuck me?" I find myself asking, no ounce of shame in me as I watch the blush rise up his neck.
It makes me feel good knowing I can get these reactions out of him.
"Shut up," he grumbles, leaning down to kiss me again as he adds another finger in, his other hand going to push my thigh up.
"Hah," I moan against his lips, both of his fingers thrusting in deeply as he stretches me, trying his absolute best to open me up.
"Feels good," I gasp, my hands helping hold my thighs when he brushes that spot. "I've never felt this good Elias."
He just meets my eyes again before leaning down and kissing my cheek.
"I know," He whispers softly against it before adding another finger.
I feel so full, so overwhelmed with feelings and emotion as he stretches me.
"Yes, right there," I beg, his fingers prodding my prostate over and over. "Yes. Yes."
He gaze only leaves my face to watch my hole swallow his fingers. His digits reaching deeper and deeper as my moans get louder.
"You ready?" He asks eventually when I'm all stretched and I nod frantically, my eyes tearing up and thighs shaking from the pleasure.
I try to relax as I watch him lean over me to open his dresser and pull something out.
It's a condom and I don't know how to feel about it. I kind of don't want him to use it as horrible as that sounds.
I want to feel him.
"Hey," I start a bit anxiously and he looks up, the condom half way out and his dick hard.
"You don't have to... if you don't want to," I mumble now feeling a bit shy seeing as I'm all spread out and open for him.
"Well... I mean. Are you... you know?" He averts his eyes sheepishly.
"Yes. My mom forced me to go get checked out. I have nothing."
He meets my eyes then, hair a curly mess. "Okay me neither."
I raise a brow, thinking about Tyla. "Are you sure?"
He snorts knowingly. "Yeah I'm sure. I get mandatory check ups for football and always wrapped up with Tyla."
"Then we're okay right?"
He just stares at me for a second before tossing the condom and leaning over me; his hand reaching out for something on his dresser.
I blush when I see it.
"If you had lube why'd you make me suck your fingers?" I scowl petulantly.
"Because. I wanted to," he states simply, coating his cock until it's slick and wet and pressing against my hole.
I gape, thinking he's about to enter but he doesn't. Instead he teases me, slapping his heavy cock over my fluttering hole a few times until before finally pressing in.
I gasp then, his tight grip finding my ankles as my body unconsciously clenches around him and closes in from the discomfort.
He hisses curtly, his hands moving to my knees instead. He keeps my legs pressed open as I whine at the feeling of being stretched.
"You good?" He asks, sounding worried and winded at the same time.
"Yeah— I'm fine, just—" I let out a shaky breath. "Just go."
Once he's in to the hilt he leans down and links his arms under my thighs to press them against my chest. I breathe heavily, his dark eyes watching my every move as he pulls out only to thrust back in hard.
Holy shit.
I gasp, mouth wide open as the sound reverberates around the room and he does it again.
"Oh. Fuck," I reach down to touch the base of his cock where we're connected, it's wet and hot. "Wait I lied— you're too big, you're too big—"
I'm freaking out, it doesn't hurt like the initial breech but it still feels odd; the feeling of being so stretched and full.
"Nah, you're okay. You can take it," he assures, still pulling out slowly before swiftly thrusting back in.
"Ah—" I cover my mouth with my free hand as he curses.
"Shit."
His eyes are close and he mumbles something about me being tight.
All I can do is moan when the slide gets easy and he finds a steady stroke that's not too hard or too soft. It's just right and every press against my walls has my body shivering, stomach tightening, and toes curling.
"Haah, yes. Right there. Yes," I start to babble eventually when he starts to thrusts harder and deeper, his cock hitting that spot every single time.
"Elias it feels so good," I moan over the sound of his bed hitting the wall. "So fucking good."
He lets out a ragged breath, his arms letting go of my legs in order to prop himself up and fuck me harder.
Shit.
It's too much, way too much yet at the same time just enough. I've never felt this good, this pleased.
I'm crying before I realize it, my thighs shaking as they try to close around him and my voice calling out his name in a mantra.
"Fuck," he groans, head falling in between the crook of my neck as he slows down, his hips gyrating into my own.
"I'm about to bust," his hot breath heaves against my ears and I gasp, wrapping my arms around his neck as he presses in right were he belongs.
"Yes, cum in me Elias. Please."
He groans again, his body trembling as he kisses me deeply; cock already starting to pound into me long and hard.
I choke out a moan, my hands gripping his shoulders hard as his body tenses up and he fucks into me fast. Every spurt of his wetness claiming me.
"Fuck —" I sob, gaping and out of breath as my body jerks and releases all onto his hoodie.
He kisses me through it, my lips, my cheeks, everywhere until I finally calm down.
Wow. I just came untouched and Elias isn't even smug about it. He's staring at my fluttering, gushing hole almost abashedly after pulling out.
"You're so cute," I state, poking his nose when he flushes at being caught, his chest heaving.
He rolls his eyes, moon light reflecting off of him as he stands and leaves to the bathroom momentarily.
For a second I have this fearful thought of him being upset or regretful but then he's coming back with a warm towel that he uses to clean me with.
It's embarrassing and I turn my face away. "I could've done it myself."
"It's fine," he grumbles, helping me out his ruined hoodie before tossing it in his dirty clothes bin with the towel.
Afterwards, I chew on my bottom lip awkwardly, noticing that it's still dark outside as he makes himself comfortable besides me.
"Should I go back to my own bed?" I ask unsurely after he offers another hoodie.
He glances over at me as if I just offended him.
"Do you want to?"
"No, I just— I don't want you to feel forced or awkward," I admit. "I know me throwing my feelings onto you like that probably made you feel uncomfortable."
"I would've been kicked you out if that was the case," he states plainly and I flush, running a hand through my hair.
"Oh."
"What? You feel awkward or sum'?"
"A little bit yeah," I say honestly, my eyes leaving his intense stare. "I've never had sex willingly and I'm not sure if you... you know... liked it."
I hear Elias snort and I turn to whine. "I'm being serious Elias!"
He grabs his remaining blunt and lights it. "Did it seem like I didn't like it?" He asks, eyes back on me.
I shrug, blushing as I look away. "Well... I don't know. You came right? So I'd hope you'd liked it."
He's quiet so I continue. "I know you've probably had better though," I mumble, my insecurities showing as I play with his blanket.
I hear him moving and turn back to see what he's doing. He's putting out his blunt already, his mouth full smoke as he sits up on one elbow to give me his whole, undivided attention.
It makes my stomach flutter and my chest warm.
"They were whatever," he shrugs nonchalantly.
I can't help but give a disbelieving face, my eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you."
He rolls his eyes. "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know. To admit that you think Tyla or whoever else you fucked were better than me."
"If I said that then I would be a lying ass nigga," his eyes narrow. "And I don't like lying ass niggas."
I chew my cheek unsurely before murmuring after a minute. "Really? But... they all have you know..."
"What? Some titties? Pussy?"
I blush uncontrollably. "Well yeah."
Them having those things — being female— will always have an advantage on me because at the end of the day Elias is attracted to girls — not guys.
Plus not only that, but Tyla is super pretty and tall. I could only imagine what his other exes looked like.
Elias blinks, face blank. "That's what you worried about?"
"I can't help but to be! I don't have either of those things," I pout.
I'm a boy with baby fat and a prepubescent voice, could you blame me for being insecure?
Elias rolls his eyes as if to say, 'well duh.'
"I'm going to sleep."
"Wait, wait, wait. Answer me this at least. Why'd you date Tyla for so long? I mean if she was whatever then why'd you put up with her? I hope it's not because of her personality," I shade uncaringly.
Elias snorts at that, his cheek pressed into his pillow. "Well for one, there's too many diseases out here for a nigga to be sleeping around. And two, she did my science homework."
I gape, very much stupefied.
"You're unbelievable."
He shrugs, unbothered.
"So," I whistle, ears hot. "Basically... what you just said was that you're only going to be sleeping with me then right?"
"Not if yo ass keep asking me a million damn questions."
"Okay but you didn't answer the question though."
An.
I know I just said I wouldn't update until after my semester ends but 🤷🏾♀️
Q. Birthday? Find your twin in the comments 😘
(also tysm for all the love y'all I really appreciate it sm 😩🥺)