JK
I have to get the fuck out of here!
This girl, Lisa or whatever the hell she calls herself, is fucking nuts. She belongs in a mental institution if she thinks she's going to keep me locked in her house as a prisoner for her freaky, sexual needs. I don't have a problem fucking her if it means she'll let me go, there's no doubt in my mind that she's a good lay. Those broad shoulders and that cute butt don't go unnoticed; in fact it just makes me want to fuck her even more.
This would happen to me. It's like I have a neon sign glowing across my forehead "Kidnap me. Rape me. Beat me up." I'm a fucking danger magnet.
No it's karma.
All the bad shit I've ever done in my life is coming back on me. This Lisa girl is Satan and being in this room is my own personal hell. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is the way my life would end. Tied to a bed and alone.
It really makes you think about all the crazy shit you've gone though, and it makes you wonder how the hell you aren't dead by now. It literally feels like every person who has hurt me sucked out a piece of my soul and now I'm just a worthless shell of a person.
It all started with Dam-bi...The worthless bitch that gave birth to me, not because she wanted to. If she had it her way I would have been aborted, but as her punishment for being a little slut Gran made her have me. She resented me every day of my life and when Gran died I should have too...Then I wouldn't have had to go live with her. I wouldn't have had to be tortured by a man and his son for fun while my fucking dead beat ass mother was in the other room getting high, or watching them rape me.
I used to wish that something bad would happen to her, something that would hurt her so deep she might understand my pain. Four years later I got my wish in the form of the police telling me that the reason why I hadn't seen Dam-bi or her pedophile husband Jang-hoon in a few days was because they were dead. Killed in a car crash on their way to buy drugs...They let me pack a bag and then took me to a group home. I was a ward of the state of California, and I had nowhere to go. I plotted my escape for about a week and it was fairly easy to slip out without anyone noticing. The only thing on my mind was to run, so I did.
San Francisco was huge and intimidating for a thirteen year old girl who was never allowed out of the house, except to go to school. We had only lived there for about three years. It wasn't Phoenix so I hated it. Phoenix was home, that's where Gran was. I wanted to go home, to her house, to sleep in my old bed and take a bath in her whirlpool tub...I knew that wasn't possible and the house probably belonged to someone else by then. I dreamed about it every single night though.
After being on the street for two weeks my life looked hopeless. I was trying to steal a bag of chips from a store when I bumped into a man that would change everything. Alec was smooth, I'll give him that. I remember thinking he was so handsome. Coal black hair, gray eyes, and pale skin. He was tall and strong, a protector. He took me in with no questions asked. He gave me food for my stomach, a roof over my head, and a warm body to sleep next to each night. It was very naïve of me to trust this man, this stranger who appeared in my life, but at least it was better than sleeping next to a dumpster. Without him who knows what would have happened to me and therefore when he told me who he really was, I accepted it and became whatever he needed me to be.
He brought me to LA, and the rest they say is history.
The years I worked for Alec brought many life lessons. I was his secret weapon, bringing in sometimes two grand every night. He never let me out of his sight and I was grateful for that. No one ever hurt me because they knew Alec would kill them, but even he wasn't enough to keep the dreams away. I like to think that he loved me in his own way and I cared for him deeply...But I was unhappy, and he knew it. I didn't want to work for him any longer; instead I wanted to find my own way, so he let me go. I think he had higher hopes for me than I ever did for myself and maybe that's why he didn't put up a fight when I told him I wanted to leave.
I'll never know. Last I heard Alec was in New York and running a successful strip club.
I've met many girls in this life who are misguided, just like me. One girl stood out and became very important to me. Her name was Sarah. She was so beautiful with her full pouty lips, olive skin, and eyes the most vibrant blue I had ever seen. Her hair was jet black and silky and it hung all the way to the middle of her back. I had the biggest girl crush on her. She intrigued me because she wasn't afraid of anything and I envied that. Her nickname for me was Babydoll.
We hung out all the time at this crummy diner in downtown and would bond over a plate of fries on the nights where business was slow. We'd have a heart to heart, telling each other things we never told anyone else. What Sarah and I talked about one night in particular is something I have never forgotten.
"Babydoll, what do you want to do with your life?"
"I don't know. I guess I've never thought about it. I mean, what should I do, Sarah? I don't have anywhere to go. This is all that I know."
"You can't have that kind of attitude, especially not when you have so much life to live."
"Well, what do you want to do with your life?" I asked.
"Not this. I want to go back to school, make something of myself, you know. I can do anything if I set my mind to it; I've just let this lifestyle run me far too long. I look at you and I see so much of myself doll, and I don't want this life for us. I can see it in your eyes every time I look at you...You're slowly dying inside."
I was already dead, way before that. Sarah stroked my young cheek and I remember staring into her beautiful eyes. She was the only friend I had.
"If we don't get out of this life we might as well expect to die in it."
Sarah wasn't much older than me but I hung on to her every word. Unfortunately she spoke more truth than I ever expected. The next year a man strangled her to death and dumped her body on the side of the road. She was only nineteen.
It's been four years now. I venture out each day hoping that I don't meet the same fate as my friend. But then, when I'm alone in the dark I can't help but feel like dying. To die would mean I no longer had to live with the memories, the sorrow, the guilt...No one would miss me. The only person who ever gave a damn about me besides Sarah was Gran.
Prostitution is my life no matter how much I hate it. Fucking and sucking dick is my job and I'm damn great at it. Am I proud of it? Hell no, but I chose this.
Did I ever really have any options?
I developed the kind of mentality over the years that all men are good for is one thing, and that's giving me money. The years I worked for Alec I was popular. Even after, being on my own I made pretty good money. Men like young girls who can give them things that their wives can't. I was doing pretty well until I got myself knocked up. Totally not my fault...The fucker I had sex with had fucking super sperm. I never have sex without a condom, EVER. The one time I slip up, BAM!
The thing starts flipping around in my belly, putting pressure right on my bladder. Oh, fuck you kid! I'm tied to a bed and now you decide to make this that much harder on me? I can't wait until the day it comes out. I fucking want my body back.
I hear the front door open downstairs. Thank God she's back. I'm about to blow.
"HEY ASSHOLE YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS BEFORE I PISS ALL OVER YOUR EXPENSIVE SHEETS!" I yell. I would really hate to relieve myself on her bed.
"HEY DID YOU HEAR ME? I HAVE TO GO, BAD!"
Still nothing.
What is she doing? She said she would let me go if I have to piss, and I have to piss badly.
"Hello?" I hear a voice outside of the door, but it's not her, it's someone else.
"Hey can you let me out?" I cry to whoever she is.
I hear her trying to turn the doorknob. "Who is that? Why is the door locked?"
Of course, she would lock the door. What a douche bag!
"I'm tied to the bed and I can't move!" She's no longer trying to get inside and instead I hear her retreating footsteps.
Come back whoever you are.
A few minutes later, I hear tinkering at the door. In a flash a tall, pixie like woman rushed in. "Who are you?" She asks, her eyes as wide as saucers.
"Who the fuck are you?"
Why are we even talking right now? She could be letting me go.
"I asked you first." She snapped back.
I take a deep breath to calm myself. "It doesn't matter who I am, I just want to get out of here. Can you let me out?"
"This is crazy. Who did this to you?" She approached me carefully.
"The girl who lives here. Lira or whatever."
"Lisa?"
"Yeah the asshole is more like it. She's been holding me against my will in this room. Can you please let me out, I have to pee really bad."
She looked at me once more then cautiously untied me. Once I was free I struggled to get out of the bed but accomplished it without totally pissing all over the place.
"Oh my god! You're...You're." She was looking right at my stomach.
"Yep." I throw over my shoulder as I rush toward the bathroom across the room. Thank heavens the jerk had enough sense to put me in a room where I have access to a toilet.
As I relieve myself the only thing I can think about is how the hell I'm going to get out of here. I don't know this woman and it's obvious she didn't know I was here. Maybe she can help me. I quickly finish up in the bathroom. Upon my return I hear booming footsteps and soon an exasperated Lisa runs in looking as disheveled as when she left.
"Rose! Where is she?"
Dammit! Fuck my LIFE!
I stand aside while the pixie charged at her. "Lisa what the fuck is going on in here? Why was she tied to the bed?"
"I can explain."
Can you really?
"You better!"
The small woman has her attention. She hasn't looked or said one word to me since she came in. This is my chance, I have to take it. I tip toe toward the door hearing only bits and pieces of Lisa's explanation that at this moment with freedom so close, I could care less about.
"Jennie if you take one more step toward that fucking door I will lock you somewhere in this house where you will never get out!" The venom in her voice stopped me dead in my tracks. I turn to look at her and the woman and she's staring straight at me now. Her anger is frightening.
"She's pregnant?" The woman stepped toward him.
"Yes." Lisa answered still gazing at me.
"And may I ask why you have a pregnant girl in your house!" She seemed to become more furious by the minute.
"I saved her last night from getting attacked."
The anger drained from her face. "Oh, well that was very nice of you. That doesn't explain why she's here."
"Uh, are you two going to talk about me like I'm not standing here? I'm the one who was abducted. Did you tell her about all the freaky sex things you're going to do to me?" I throw in there for good measure.
"What?" Lisa shrieked.
"Lisa!" The woman stomped her foot in disgust.
I think I kind of like her.
"Rose, don't believe her."
"Why else would you force me to stay here?"
Her keeping me here against my will only makes me believe that she wants to use me for something, that being sex. She moved toward me but I stepped away. I don't want her to touch me. She looked sad as it must have registered my intent. "I told you this morning. I want to help you, Jennie."
"Help me with what? I was just fine before you swooped into my life."
"You're a fucking pregnant prostitute! I wouldn't constitute that as being fine!"
Oh, she just had to bring that up again didn't she?
"Wait, a prostitute?" The woman, Rose as he calls her, has replaced her disgusted expression with one that showed she was appalled by his revelation.
"So what it's my life. I don't go around telling everyone what you do for a living, although I have no idea what your occupation is."
"How long have you been a prostitute Jennie?" Rose asked.
"None of your business!" I huff.
"Jennie please calm down. It's not good for the baby." Lisa tried to step in and be the good guy. She can save it.
"Stop telling me what to do!"
"Maybe you should sit down." Rose was at my side now.
Oh no, not her too!
"Both of you are fucking nuts. Lisa you can explain to whoever she is why you have me here against my will, but in the meantime I'm out of here."
I'm almost out of the door before she grabbed me by my wrist. I'm pulled backwards into her solid chest and I feel a sudden charge swirl through my body; the little one even shifted in my stomach.
What the fuck was that?
"You're staying right here." She declared.
"Lisa, this doesn't make sense. I know you saved her but why didn't you take her home, to her place?"
That's the same thing I would like to know too, Rose.
"She lives at the fucking Starlite Motel!"
Rose turned up her nose at that. Both of these goody two shoes can lick my toes; the Starlite isn't so bad once you get past the smell.
"For your information I just stay there, I don't live there. And again, why do my living arrangements matter to you so much?" The room got quiet. Both of them were staring at me but this time the pixie looked as if she would burst into tears. "Oh Jennie, I'm so sorry."
"What the fuck are you sorry for?"
Did I miss something? When did the dynamic of the room change?
"How old are you?" She asked.
"...Old enough. Please tell him to let me go and I'll forget this whole thing ever happened."
"No Jennie, I told you I'm not letting you out of my sight. Not while you're pregnant and selling your body. It's not safe."
She won't let me go...Why won't she just let me go? "Please." I'm reduced to begging now. The tears are running full force down my face but her grip on me never waned. The realization that I can't fight her breaks me down. I hang my head in defeat.
"Lisa let her go. She doesn't want to be here. You can't do this!" I hear Rose try to reason with her.
"I can, and I will."
"She's obviously scared out of her mind."
She cupped my chin and raised my head so that our eyes could focus on one another. "Jennie you have no reason to fear me. I just want what's best for you."
That's not what I want though!
"Why? I don't want to be here! I want to go back to my life, I was doing just fine." I feel exhausted. The urge to run isn't there anymore.
"I think she should rest for a little while. I'll stay here with her and you can make her something to eat."
I feel the soothing touch of Rose's hand on my shoulder. Lisa finally let me go. I'm too tired to fight either of them so I let her help me back into the bed. I settle in on my side facing away from her, I don't want her to see me like this. She smoothed my hair from my face I'm sure in an attempt to comfort me, but it only makes things worse.
"Oh Jennie you sweet girl. What happened to you?"
You don't want to know.