INT. Front Desk
Mia is on desk duty. She has a pen that has multiple colour options. She tries to press all the colours down at once. This does not work. Next, she begins clicking all of them down, one after the other. She decides on the green colour and begins writing. Mia enters.
AIDEN: Hey Mia.
MIA: Hey.
AIDEN: Oh cool I love those pens. When I was a kid I tried to put all the colours down at once.
MIA: Oh yeah. I did that too...when I was a kid.
AIDEN: Now I use them to highlight my notes. Make them all colourful.
MIA: That's cool. I take notes on my computer. That way if I want the words to be a different colour I just highlight it and I have a ton of colours to choose from.
AIDEN: Oh.
MIA: Yea, I guess the four colours on the pen just wasn't enough for me.
AIDEN: Oh. Well, I like to write my notes because studies show it helps to retain information easier. And I don't just use the pen. I have eight different colours of highlighter. Plus I use pencils and sharpies and markers.
MIA: 8?
AIDEN: Yellow, orange, purple, green, blue/
MIA: Oh see I don't like doing that because it can be hard to see what's underneath the blue highlighter in the dark at night and I study so much that I usually have to study at night.
AIDEN: Why don't you just turn a light on.
MIA: Because I don't want to bother my roommate.
AIDEN: You don't have a roommate.
MIA: Whatever. I study more than you.
AIDEN: Whatever helps you sleep at night. But just for the record, I draw in designs for the headings that look like little banners.
MIA: Well good for you.
Aiden begins to leave.
AideN: Hey you want to grab lunch later?
MIA: Of course! Tuesday traditions.
TITLE SEQUENCE
INT. Elevator
Kylie and Ryan get into the elevator, mid-conversation. Hailey is in the elevator, on her phone.
KYLIE: Basically all we had to do was create a business plan-Hey Hails.
RYAN: Hey
HAILEY: Hey
KYLIE: and make a powerpoint about it. I don't know why he thought that was so difficult it had to be a group project.
RYAN: You're mad because you ended up doing all the work.
KYLIE: No. I expect to do all the work in group projects.
HAILEY: How do you say something is 'good' over a text message?
RYAN: You just say 'good.'
HAILEY: Huh.
KYLIE: Anyway, for our business proposal, we created a movie production company and at the end of the powerpoint, I put in the post-credits scene from Ferris Buller's Day Off.
RYAN: Oh yeah the one where he's like, 'go home.'
KYLIE: Exactly!
HAILEY: No if you just put 'good' it sounds like you don't care.
KYLIE: That scene is hilarious and nobody laughed. They didn't even crack a smile, not even a sympathetic one.
HAILEY: If you put great, it sounds too aggressive.
RYAN: Its an 8 am management class everyone was bored out of their minds.
KYLIE: But it's a classic. Matthew Broderick's greatest work and he was on broadway.
HAILEY: Awesome just sounds too excited.
RYAN: Oh my good Lord, just send the text. It's not that difficult.
HAILEY: Yes I could see how you know that with all your experience in relationships.
KYLIE: Cheap shot.
RYAN: I know that because its Mark. He probably won't even read it.
HAILEY: Wha- Yes he will! Kylie!
KYLIE: Put 'sounds great' with a kissy face.
HAILEY: There we go.
The elevator dings and opens to the lobby.
INT. Lobby- continuous
RYAN: Hey I'm meeting Dylan for taco Tuesday. You guys wanna come?
HAILEY: Sure!
KYLIE: I can't. Have to go uh, do laundry.
She takes off towards her room. Ryan and Hailey turn towards each other in a moment of awkwardness.
RYAN: You know who's very talkative? Dylan! Let's go find him.
They start walking off together.
HAILEY: You know Mark doesn't like you?
RYAN: Yea I know.
INT. Food Court
Dylan, Ryan and Hailey walk into the cafeteria.
DYLAN: Taco Tuesday! Let's GO! YES! I want cheese and sour cream and ground beef and more cheese and salsa and whoooaaaa there.
He stops short when he sees Mia and Aiden eating omelettes.
DYLAN: Those aren't tacos.
MIA: They're better.
DYLAN: Bet-better? Those there are fighting words.
RYAN: I don't get it. You can get omelettes any day. Why miss out on Taco Tuesday?
DYLAN: Yea why?!? That only comes like, once a week.
AIDEN: Not like this. There's a new lunch lady and her omelettes are to DIE for.
HAILEY: Actually they're for little chicks to die for. I thought you were vegan.
MIA: But when you combine it with this much cheese...
RYAN: Ah yes, ladies and gentleman, the quintessential college-save the animals-vegan.
MIA: Ah yes, another vegan joke.
HAILEY: That looks good. I'm going to get one.
DYLAN: What? You can't, you cannot, no. It's Taco Tuesday.
HAILEY: I'm beginning to see why Mark doesn't like you guys.
She walks off. Ryan stares as Aiden swirls his cheese.
AIDEN: They have a good source of protein, your daily dose of vegetables and cheese.
RYAN: Those do look good.
DYLAN: Come on man, be strong.
RYAN: Look there are other Tuesday's in the year but we don't know when this legendary omelette maker will come back. That's it. I'm getting an omelette.
Dylan watches him leave.
DYLAN: But its Taco Tuesday!
CUT TO: Int. Food court.
Dylan sits with his tacos, angerly eating as everyone else enjoys their omelettes.
Hailey sees Kylie running into the food court to grab an apple.
HAILEY: Hey, I thought you were doing laundry.
KYLIE: I am! I just put it in and I have 3 minutes to grab some lunch before I need to head back and put it in the dryer. And I gotta go or it will end up on the floor thanks to some impatient freshman.
MIA: You're going to eat lunch in three minutes?
KYLIE: I have a huge assignment due tomorrow plus my billboard design for my hall and I have, an appointment tonight.
AIDEN: What kind of appointment?
KYLIE: Uh, doctors.
HAILEY: Are you ok?
KYLIE: Yea! Just a check-up. And I have now waisted one of my three minutes talking to you people.
Hailey grabs a sandwich and runs off.
DYLAN: Haha. She didn't get an omelette.
RYAN: She didn't get a taco either.
HAILEY: Why are you being competitive about the food we eat?
DYLAN: Because you guys are my friends and I don't want you to miss out on the good life and when it comes to making a good life, (he holds up his taco) its all relative.
AIDEN: That's a Jeopardy category.
INT. The Pav.
Everyone sits at their spots for the weekly meeting, except Kylie. Smith glares at his watch. After a beat:
SMITH: 5. 4. 3.
Kylie comes in the room wearing a striped collared shirt.
SMITH: You're late.
KYLIE: Was not!
SMITH: FIne. I don't want to file the paperwork. Today I am required by the 'Beeing Green' club to talk to you all about the importance of bees in society. Before I begin I just want to say that I hope you don't ask questions because I definitely don't know the answer. Bees are the great pollinators. Without bees, we would not have flowers or many kinds of fruit.
Everybody pretends to concentrate on what he is saying.
MIA (V.O.): It is so great that the school is having us learn about bees. It's so important. That's what my next billboard should be about! I'll make a bunch of little bees and- oh I should probably ask Smith for more paper. He might get mad that I'm going over my paper quota for the month. But it's to save the Earth.
AIDEN (V.O.): When Robert Gaskins created powerpoint, I doubt he had hopes that people would start using it like that. Just because you can put in transitions doesn't mean you should.
DYLAN (V.O.): I wonder what those omelettes tasted like. No, I made the right decision, it was Taco Tuesday. But the cheese looked really good. But there was cheese on the tacos too.
KYLIE (V.O.): I can't believe I didn't have time to change. Maybe nobody noticed. Who am I kidding, this shirt is louder than an angry Melissa McCarthy.
RYAN (V.O.): Look at how much Mia likes this presentation. She is so smart. I should try to impress her with some facts about bees. (Smith switches slides to 'fun facts about bees') I'll google some later.
HAILEY (V.O.): Seriously. I am 19 years old. In the prime of my life and I am sitting in a school basement, listening to a grown man complain about honey.
SMITH (V.O.): None of them seems to notice that I've stopped talking. Why am I here?
INT. Front Desk
Aiden sits at the desk he is trying to make spitballs. Dylan and Hailey walk in.
DYLAN: What are you doing?
AIDEN: Ryan challenged me to an impossible game. I have to hit the x on the exit sign with a spitball from the desk. He said if I succeed he will give me the number of that woman who makes omelettes.
DYLAN: You're into the omelette lady?
AIDEN: Well I figure if I have her number we can work out a deal where I send her an emoji. I'll call it a secret code but it will really be to save myself time. Whenever she receives that emoji I'll bring her an omelette. Kind of like Papa John's.
HAILEY: I thought Domino's did that.
AIDEN: That's not the point.
Kylie enters through the first-floor door and immediately exits.
KYLIE: Hi! Bye!
HAILEY: Has she been acting a little weird lately?
DYLAN: She does seem a bit stressed. But it's only this week so I thought it was just, you know her time of the month.
HAILEY: That's very misogynistic of you.
DYLAN: Why? I didn't give anyone a massage.
AIDEN: I have a theory about Kylie.
DYLAN: What do you have against misogynist? Frankly, I think we need more of them.
HAILEY: What?!
DYLAN: They press in all the right places.
AIDEN: I think he's trying to say 'masseuse'.
DYLAN: No. That's what you put in your hair. A little too much I might add.
HAILEY: That's mousse.
DYLAN: No that's the animal that you eat.
AIDEN: You eat moose?
DYLAN: Don't you? They have it in the dining hall. Tastes a lot like chocolate.
AIDEN: Oh, chocolate mousse.
DYLAN: I was surprised when I learned that too but it makes sense. That's why it's such a popular dessert in Canada.
HAILEY: You think that chocolate mousse is made of moose like with antlers?
DYLAN: Well, of course, they take the antlers out first.
HAILEY: I-I don't have the brain space right now. Aiden what's your theory.
AIDEN: There's a movie club on campus and people often dress up to attend. She's stressed because she has to find one costume every week.
HAILEY: She is into movies.
AIDEN: Believe me, that club is stressful. I've been there. Although my costumes were much better than hers.
HAILEY: What do you mean?
AIDEN: That shirt she was wearing? I think it was a very poor attempt at a Star Trek outfit.
HAILEY: I've never seen that movie.
AIDEN: Well she got the colour scheme correct but nobody in Star Trek has stripes. Unless she was trying to be Spok and Captain Kirk at the same time. In which case she could be quite genius. The two are character foils but they bring out the best in each other.
HAILEY: I hope she's not actually making herself this stressed out over a silly club.
DYLAN: I think you could really use a misogynist in your life, Hailey. Might help loosen you up.
HAILEY: It is a wonder you got into college.
DYLAN: It's the mousse. All that protein keeps me energized and ready for class.
INT. Food Court
Mia and Ryan wait in line for an omelette together. Ryan gets to the front of the line first
RYAN: Oh, go ahead.
MIA: No, you were in line first you go ahead.
RYAN: No really,
LUNCH LADY: That's strike one bucko. What do you want in your omelette?
RYAN: Ok, uh cheese obviously and spinach and mushrooms. Oh, but could you cut up the mushrooms a little bit more. They were a little big last time.
LUNCH LADY: That's strike 2.
She puts Ryan's omelette on the stovetop.
MIA: Hey look there's Kylie. Geeze I hope she's not grabbing a quick lunch again, that's really not good for you.
LUNCH LADY: Waiting on you Princess Peach.
MIA: Oh, sorry! I'll have/
RYAN: Hey, you could be a little nicer. We're RA's you know, we're working for the same people in housing and dining.
The lunch lady scoops Ryan's omelette off the stovetop and throws it in the trash.
LUNCH LADY: That's strike 3. No omelette for you!
Kylie comes running by.
KYLIE: That is not original content!
She exits in a flash.
INT. The Pav.
Everyone is there for the meeting except for Kylie and Smith. Kylie enters wearing the same shirt.
KYLIE: Did I make it?
MIA: Yea he's not here yet.
KYLIE: Good.
HAILEY: Why are you dressed like Star Trek again?
KYLIE: What?
AIDEN: I have a theory as to why your always stressed out.
DYLAN: Its because you're a misogynist.
HAILEY: Ryan, so help me if your friend's English comprehension level does not improve/
RYAN: Yea I'm going to ask him about that one.
Ryan and Dylan talk in the back.
AIDEN: Kylie, I know it may be hard, but there's a way out.
KYLIE: What are you talking about?
AIDEN: The people in the science fiction club can seem really cool, but that doesn't mean that they're not bad influences.
KYLIE: You guys think I'm in a science fiction club?
HAILEY: Why else would you wear that shirt?
AIDEN: At first I didn't understand it but now I see it. You got your ear on one side to be pointy and everything.
KYLIE: My ear is pointy?
AIDEN: It's a brilliant costume.
KYLIE: Alright it's not a costume its a uniform.
HAILEY: What?
KYLIE: I'm working at the bowling alley. This job isn't doing enough to pay for my tuition. But you guys can't tell Smith. There's a rule about how many hours a week students are allowed to work. I could get fired and end up in an even worse situation.
CUT TO:
RYAN: No mousse is not made of moose it's made of chocolate.
DYLAN: Then why do we call it moose? We call a chicken a chicken when it's alive and when we eat it. Same with turkeys.
RYAN: The two words are spelt differently.
DYLAN: Wait, so which one is m-o-s-q-u-e-e.
RYAN: No, that spells mosque.
DYLAN: Well there's no reason to hiss at me.
CREDITS
Int. Front Desk.
Aiden uses a measuring tape, a calculator and a sketch pad. He has mapped out the room and a few angles. He prepares a spitball, weighs it, then inserts it into the straw. He pulls out a hairdryer, switches it on to a specific setting, and sets it against the straw. The spitball hits the X.
AIDEN: Yes!
Kylie walks in as Aiden does a happy dance.
KYLIE: What are you doing with my blow dryer?