𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 ~ 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧

𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫

Sebastian looks down at the ground, nibbling softly on his lower lip. "Y..yeah." He whispers. "It's true."

Chris frowns. Why did Sebastian not have any friends? He was so sweet, shy, nice to talk to, cute. The whole package. "How come?"

All Chris gets in response is a small shrug.

"Do you want to hang out with my friends and I then?" Chris asks sweetly. "I'm sure they'd love you."

Sebastian lifts his head slowly. "Really?"

"Well yeah, why not?"

"Y-yeah... okay." Sebastian nods. Chris wanted him to hang out with him and his friends?

Chris smiles. "Then it's settled."

Sebastian nods his head once more and tries to become comfortable in his spot on the crisp grass, wincing and digging his teeth into his lower lip.

Chris watches with concern. "You okay?" He asks.

Sebastian freezes. "Uh... yeah.. just trying to get comfortable."

Chris nods in understanding. "Why don't you sit here?" Chris pats the space between his spread legs. "You can lean against me and hopefully that will be better?"

Sebastian's cheeks become a dark shade of red. "A-are you sure?" He stammers.

"Of course. Come here."

Chris places his hands carefully on Sebastian's waist, hoisting him over his legs and placing Sebastian gently between his thighs. Chris wraps his arms around Sebastian's middle and slowly pulls him backward so that Sebastian lay flat against his chest.

"How's this?" Chris asks.

Sebastian leans his head back. "G-good."

"Okay, good."

Chris places one headphone into his ear and the other in Sebastian's, turning the music down before leaning back on his hands, face towards the sun, eyes closed.

Sebastian was still blushing, all up his neck and all the way over his ears. Chris found it adorable. Sebastian, trying to compose himself, opens his book and listens quietly to Chris's music, making a mental note on how good Chris's taste was.

***

The boys were in a comfortable silence, Sebastian reading, comfortable as ever, and Chris listening to his music softly, staring up at the sky. No words needed to be spoken. They were just tiny fragments of stardust floating around a world full of hate and belittlement, waiting, hoping, that some day, the world would change.

"Oi! Chris!"

Sebastian flinches at the new voice, shaking Chris from his daze and causing him to sit up, still holding onto Sebastian. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" He asks, pausing his music and tugging out his headphones. "Are you uncomfortable?"

Sebastian shakes his head and goes to respond, only to be cut off by the same voice as before. "Chris!"

Chris looks to the left and a grin breaks out onto his face. "Anthony!" He calls, gently shifting Sebastian to get to his friend. "Hey dude."

Anthony laughs and claps Chris on the back. "Hey, I see you got yourself a new thing, aye?"

Chris rolls his eyes. "It's not like that. Sebastian and I just started talking."

Sebastian blushes at the sound of his name floating from Chris' mouth. He bites down gently on his lower lip, nibbling and dragging his teeth, anxious that Anthony may start up a conversation and he'd have word vomit.

"Well, you two seemed pretty comfortable."

Sebastian feels suddenly anxious and springs to his feet, clutching tightly at his book. "I— I... I'm getting cold." He mumbles, rubbing his arms for emphasis. "I- I think I'll head inside."

Chris is seemingly taken aback. "Oh.. okay. Come get us when it's dinner time, yeah?"

Sebastian nods then walks back inside of the cabin, speed walking over to his bed and falling face first into his pillow. God he was embarrassing.

"WHATS UP FUCKERS"

Was suddenly heard from outside, erupting a jump from Sebastian. Scarlett Johansson. Wealthy and crazy popular. Sweet and sassy. Someone Sebastian would love to be friends with just like Chris, but was too much of a scaredy-cat to even talk to her.

Sebastian can slightly hear their conversation outside, Scarlett screaming and Anthony laughing. "Seriously!?" Scarlett cries. "He's literally a stranger, Chris and your fucking cuddling with him?"

Sebastian hears Chris groan. "Scar! Come on, he was uncomfortable and I just offered okay? It was actually kind of nice."

Anthony laughs once more. "I think someone's got a crush."

"Oh shut up, Ant. It's not like that. We're just friends."

"Whatever you say, Evans ."

Sebastian's heart drops. That's right. He and Chris were just friends. Nothing more. God, he was stupid to get his hopes up.

Cutting Sebastian from his thoughts, comes a loud knock at the door. Sebastian slowly gets himself off of the bed and crosses the cabin, opening the door with shaking hands.

Emily was stood before him, smiling gently. "Hey, Sebastian right?" She asks.

Sebastian nods.

"I'm just here to tell you and Chris that dinners ready and that it's in the hall just over there." She turns and points to her left over to the large building where students were piling in, yelling.

"O—okay.. thanks." Sebastian stammers, biting his lip anxiously.

"Okay- I'll see you in there." Emily gives him one last smile before turning around and walking off down the steps.

Sebastian closes the door and crosses the cabin once more, opening up the back door to get to Chris and his friends. "D-dinners ready—" he calls, hiding himself slightly in his hoodie.

Chris turns his head. "It is?"

Sebastian nods.

"Awesome! Thanks dude. Let's go eat."

Sebastian doesn't end up going to the hall, making an excuse of an upset stomach and lies himself back down on his bed, pulling out his phone. There is one message on the screen, and it makes his heartbeat rise.

Your dead when you get home boy. Dead.

Sebastian swipes the message away and throws his phone into the drawer of his bedside table, breathing quickening. He shouldn't have come on the trip. He shouldn't have disobeyed his father.

Sebastian stays, sat up on his bed, curled in on himself, shaking and rocking back and forth. The panic wouldn't seem to die down and he hadn't a clue what to do.

Everything around him was like looking through a fisheyed lens, blurry and disfigured. Sebastian's hands were shaking, legs shooting with pins and needles, eyes welling with tears.

Then, it hit. The uncontrollable feeling of not being able to catch his breath, the hammering heart, the blood pounding throughout his head. Sebastian was petrified.

Sebastian tries to grab ahold of something to hold himself steady, hold himself down from what was happening. Nothing was working. And before he knew it, he was full on panicking.

Sebastian hears the soft click of the door opening and Chris's calm voice calling out to him. "Hey Seb! I'm back, how come you didn't come to dinne— SEB!"

Chris races to Sebastian's side in an instant, wrapping his arms around the boys shaking body, running a hand through his hair. "Shh Shh, it's okay." Chris whispers. "Everything's gonna be okay, it's just a panic attack, it will pass."

Sebastian latches onto Chris, digging his nails into the tan skin for some kind of leverage and shakes his head with a sob.

"Sebastian." Chris says calmly, lips right by his ear. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise. This will pass. Take in deep breaths."

Sebastian tries to do as he's told, squeezing his eyes shut, though it did not seem to do anything to calm his breathing. "I- I can't—" Sebastian stammers out. "I can't!"

Sebastian couldn't seem to find an anchor. Couldn't calm his breathing. The thoughts were accelerating inside of his head, making it even harder to calm himself down to ease his breathing, his breathing that comes out in small gasps, creating the feeling that he would pass out.

His heart hammers in the back of his throat. Everything was spinning. He felt sick.

"Yes you can, Seb. Imagine that your in your happy place. Doing what makes you happy and feel safe." Chris grips at Sebastian's hand. "And I'm gonna be right here holding your hand through it."

Sebastian's lip wobbles. "I— I don't have one."

Chris's heart drops. "That's okay. You can share mine. It's with my siblings at one of my relatives beach houses, just having fun. Can you imagine that?"

Sebastian gulps down breath after breath, squeezing his teary eyes shut once more, holding Chris's hand tightly. The advice seems to work. Sebastian can see it clearly, the beach house, Chris, grinning from ear to ear, chasing his laughing siblings around.

Chris hears the easy breaths of Sebastian and his hold on Chris's hand ease slightly, the shaking disappearing. "There we go." Chris whispers. "Your okay. I'm right here."

Sebastian falls into Chris's chest with a loud sob. "I-I'm s—Sorry." He gasps. "I'm sorry!"

Chris wraps his arms around Sebastian once more. "Hey hey, it's okay." His voice is soothing, almost like a warm hug and helps Sebastian to calm down. "It's okay, don't apologise."

"H-how did y-you kno-know to do that?"

Chris presses a kiss to the crown of Sebastian's head. "My younger brother used to get bullied and would have panic attacks. I got used to calming him down and just thought.. to do it on you? And it worked."

"Th-thank you. I- I was really scared." Sebastian breathes.

"Panic attacks can be pretty scary. Do you know why you started panicking?"

Sebastian gulps. "I- I— I started to feel homesick.. and then.. then it just came from out of nowhere. I don't want to have another one."

"I know, I know. But it's okay. Your okay now, yeah? I'm right here with you."

"Y-yeah."

******