The road so far...
"Dean, I'm growing very fond of you. I feel like I can tell you anything and everything I'm thinking. There's just one thing that I wanted to know, though."
"What's that?"
"What is sexual intercourse like?"
Dean snorted, laughing just a little before he quit, feeling his wing twitch in it's hidden state. He needs to be careful. To stay focused. "It was... exciting. It was with me and my most recent fiancee, Lisa, and upon meeting each other we just had this spark. After her parents left the "betrothal meeting", I snuck into her room that night and we did it. It was quick, passionate, left be breathless afterward. It was like all of my pent-up emotions I'd ever had were released in that one night."
"You loved her." Castiel said with a sad smile, eyes becoming sympathetic.
"I didn't know her all that well. It was a one night stand. After I uh," Castiel's interested eyes made his cheeks turn pink, glad the nearby candle didn't provide enough light to see it. "Got off, something happened-" he pointedly avoided the confession of his wing, "and she grew upset, wanted to shut me out but after a few minutes of hitting me in the chest with her hands she stopped and started crying. She knew about the other fiancees. She didn't know that the 'fiancee killer' was me at first, but she knew then, and she knew if anyone got word they would shun her. She was willing to give me a shot, despite that. I didn't leave her side until the morning, so I could get in bed and get some rest in my own bed."
"That sounds... amazing." Castiel murmured other things to himself before looking Dean in the eye, "Was it your first time?"
Dean nodded, "I've had a couple more after that, but none of them meant anything to me. Occasional one night stands when I felt extremely alone."
"You're not alone," Castiel whispered, scooting just a hint closer to Dean who was too caught up in his own emotions to notice.
"I know that, but feeling it and being it are two different things."
"You've got me."
Dean stopped, feeling Castiel's breath on his chin as big blue eyes looked into his and Dean bit his lip, "Some personal space would be nice, Cas."
"Dean," Castiel's pupils were dilated, the true extent of his drunkenness finally making an appearance. "I'm here."
The hunter's thoughts went rampant. What did he mean? Was it a friendly gesture to always be a listening ear as he said before or was it something much more than that? Dean moved his free hand to touch the side of Castiel's neck, to nudge him a bit so he'd move. However, under his thumb he could feel Castiel's pulse which ran a mile a minute. Castiel muttered his name again and Dean fought to keep his cool.
"Cas, you're drunk. You should sleep."
"I don't want to replace Lisa."
The phrase shot Dean in the heart. He didn't expect that to hurt, but it did.
"If you have space, Dean, in your heart-"
Castiel's pulse got even quicker and the slight stubble around his mouth drew Dean's eyes to his shallow breathing. Dammit, Cas. Let's hope you forget all of this in the morning. Dean moved the hand from under his head and wound it around Castiel's neck as he leaned in for a kiss. It was quick and despite Castiel's lips looking so severely chapped, they were soft and still had a faint reminiscence of whiskey on them. Castiel's eyes closed as Dean kissed him, smiling as he pushed himself closer to Dean, putting his hands on Dean's chest and gripping the fabric of his shirt between his fingers when Dean moved away.
"Is there any room for me?"
"Ask me in the morning." Dean whispered shakily, putting his face in Castiel's hair. "We can talk about it then."
"Is it because we're drunk?" Castiel asked, leaning his head on Dean's shoulder.
"Yeah, that's part of it."
"What's the other part?"
"I don't want to be in a place I can't escape from."
"Am I a trap you must escape from?" Castiel asked curiously, if not slightly bitter.
"No, Cas, never. I just, I've got a lot of baggage and I don't think I'm ready to load all that off yet."
"Okay." Castiel whispered, both of them beginning to drift back into sleep. "Dean, your lips are soft."
Dean moved his hand to the back of Castiel's head, pushing his face into his chest. "Shut up and go to sleep."
"One more kiss?"
"No." Dean laughed, not able to keep the smile from his face but kissed the top of Castiel's hair. "Goodnight, Cas."
"Goodnight, Dean." Castiel smiled, wrapping an arm around Dean lazily, the brunt of the fogginess of alcohol hitting him square in the noggin, making him fall alseep almost instantly. Dean fell asleep a little later after listening to Castiel's quiet snores, the whole time a single thought circulating in his mind. I must be drunker than I thought I was.
The next morning, Gabriel woke up a little after sunrise to speak with the mail servant. "Any mail for me?" Gabriel asked, worried that his pupil still hadn't contacted him yet.
"No, sir. I've been 4 times to the telegraph station every day, just as I was ordered. Nothing for you, sir."
Gabriel waved his hand in dismissal, leaving the driveway to walk speedily into the house and to his room. Lucifer came in a few minutes later, his hair in disarray and only wearing a thin pair of silk pants. "He still hasn't left a message?"
"I'm worried, Luce, he never goes even one day without an update. Even if it's complaining, he always sends me updates. I've got to go, something must be wrong." he muttered fervently, rushing around the room to throw garments of clothing and personal trinkets back into his suitcase.
"Go after lunch, if he doesn't respond by then, feel free to go. I'll even cover for you with Michael."
Gabriel nodded slowly, before sighing in acceptance, "You're right. I think we should go visit Castiel sometime after breakfast."
"Sounds like a plan," Lucifer rubbed at his scalp, worsening the appearance of his hair. "Now, pack quietly so I can sleep a bit longer. Go make breakfast with that Dean fellow, I heard from his brother Sam that he's a splendid cook."
"When did you hear this?"
"When he was talking with the Chief Guard and the probie kid."
"You mean Kevin?"
"Yes, I believe that was his name." He yawned, popping his knuckles. "Remember the 'quiet as a church mouse' shabang and shhh."
"Sure thing, bro." Gabriel muttered sarcastically, finishing up his packing and grabbing a small picture of Jeremy from his breast pocket. "God, Jer... I hope you're okay."