**Van**
It was impossible not to touch her. I'd tried. Oh how I'd tried.
The problem was that once we'd opened the door that allowed me to wrap my arms around Kim's soft warmth it was impossible to close it again. And I couldn't even bring myself to want to. The night we'd first displayed our fake relationship for general consumption, the night when I'd almost but not quite kissed her, had changed everything. Before that although we'd shared a room to sleep we'd been careful to avoid physical contact or even contact with the other's bed. Each time we'd entered a new room we'd done the 'which bed do you want' dance. Friendly conversation and mutual respect of television choices had been maintained at all times but not once had either of us ventured toward the other's mattress.
Once that physical barrier had been crossed everything was different. It had started with the 'my bed is a private island for one' situation. It may not add to my rock star credibility to admit this but we'd escaped the after party to curl up in our own beds to eat snacks and watch old episodes of the X-Files. Yes, we were living on the edge, something that suited me just fine. The edge that didn't suit me just fine was the edge of the bed that I had to hang off in order to reach across to snag a snack from the bowls and bags that encircled Kim on her bed. The one time I'd tried to reposition a bowl from her bed to mine she'd snarled at me with all the intensity of a hungry wolverine. Eventually, sick of the circus style balancing act that needed to be enacted every time I wanted an M&M, I set my beer down on the side table between our beds, climbed out from beneath the covers and after rearranging the snacks on Kim's bed lifted the covers and slid in.
"Van?" she squeaked.
"Kim," I replied as I plumped up a pillow behind me, settled into place and grabbed a handful of candy.
"What are you doing?" She poked me in the bicep.
"Ensuring I have easy access to the snacks," I mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate as I focused on the TV where Mulder and Scully were trying to work out what the hell the deal was with a creepy guy who was slithering around in the duct work of buildings and killing people.
"No," she hissed from beside me where she sat rigid. "You're not wearing a shirt!"
"So what? How many nights have we shared a room now? This is not a new occurrence Duchess."
"Yes but...but...but..."
"But what?" I was trying very hard not to admit to myself that leaping dressed in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts into bed with her may not have been one of my best ideas. There was no way I'd admit it to her.
"Nothing." This time the pointed tip of her finger jabbed into my pec, I flexed it a fraction of a second too late. Kim flopped back into her pillows. "Just don't try anything."
I turned to her with a grin. "Exactly who do you think you're sitting beside right now? My self-restraint is legendary." My attention back on the snack bowl I added, "Plus I'm not a total sleaze."
Just then the creepy stretchy dude on the TV screen burst out of a heating grate and with a yelp Kim threw herself at me scattering treats across the room.
"Oh. My. God!" she gasped burying her face in my neck. My arms wrapped around her instinctively. Her sleeping attire was little better than mine, a silky pair of sleep shorts and a scrap of fabric masquerading as a camisole. Damn she felt good. Smelled even better. I dropped my head just a little to breath in the scent of the perfume that clung to her. The awareness of just how close we suddenly were and just how little fabric lay between the two of us drifted down over me like a blanket.
Danger! Danger! Danger!
"What was it you just said about not trying anything? I feel violated," I quipped in an attempt to remind myself of just who we were to each other.
The way her hand drifted down my chest had my dick stirring in my boxers. Her fingertips reached my nipple and she gave it a sharp pinch as she said, "How's that for a violation?" Painful, yet strangely exciting, my dick said as it gave a sudden twitch.
"Cruel," I said as she pushed off me to resume her place on her side of the bed. I couldn't help but notice that she didn't move as far away from me as she'd initially been. It was impossible to ignore the soft swell and jiggle of her tits as she leaned forward and gathered up the snacks that had scattered across the bed when she'd freaked out.
"Shit." She glanced around at the mountain of junk food surrounding her. "Where are the Rolos?" How she could even tell that there was something missing in the varied array sugar, salt and artificial colourings before her I had no idea. I'd like to give you more than my last Rolo. Thank god she wasn't a mind reader as my thoughts took a turn for the filthy.
"Ah ha!" she said with all the conviction of a murder mystery detective finding a new clue. "There they are!" With a lurch sidewards she was hanging upside down over the edge of the bed. At the sight of her deliciously round satin clad ass pointing to the heavens the blood rushed so suddenly to my dick that I felt light headed. I was seriously rethinking my decision to climb into bed with her. It didn't help matters when she righted herself, triumphantly clutching her bag of candy. My mind meandered down the path where it had been me who was responsible for her flushed checks and mussed up sex kitten hair. I just about stroked out when she clutched her tits and said, "Oooh. I shouldn't have done that, my boobs are so sensitive."
Show me, I wanted to say and swallowed a groan. With her snacks once again arranged within easy reach she nestled back down into the bed and murmured, "This episode is soooo scary."
"I can change the channel," I offered. God how I hoped she'd let me change the channel. It might encourage her to put a bit of space back between us.
"No!" She exclaimed in horrified disbelief. "I love the X-Files!"
So did I but even with my vast love for Mulder and Scully, it was going to be a tough job to get through the rest of the evening. Girding my, throbbing, loins I reached out and tucked her in close to my side. I was trying to kid myself that it was a pre-emptive manoeuvre against any further freaked out unexpected leaping on my body – I had delicate, manly parts to protect. It had nothing to do with how good it felt to have my arm around her as she nestled her head into the nook between my arm and my body. Nothing.
Strangely as she squeaked and occasionally clutched my bicep as she snuggled ever closer my lust for her became a low simmer, still there but not my main focus. Instead all I could think about was how right it felt to hold her and pop chocolate into her mouth as she slunk ever lower under the covers. It was impossible to deny that it had been a long time since things had felt so right with a girl. Maybe even, if I was being honest with myself, things had never felt quite so right before.
That little bite of self-awareness made me pause to consider if I had even the slightest clue what I was getting myself into with Kim. Because as much as the last time I let myself care deeply for someone had hurt me, I suspected that Kim held the power to grind me into dust and given how uncertain her situation currently was I didn't think I'd be able to find it in me to blame her when it happened.
But when all the snacks had been consumed and the X-Files monster of the week couldn't keep Kim's eyes open, even the knowledge that I was surely setting myself up for a fall didn't stop me from flicking off the lamp and pulling the duvet tight around us. I promised myself that it would only be for a moment, that any minute I'd get up and crawl back into my own bed. Waking up to find I was the big spoon to Kim's little one as the morning light penetrated a gap in the curtains proved the failure if my good intentions. A failure that I compounded when I crawled into bed with her again that night, and the next and god help me the night after that. The woman was going to kill me and I wasn't even certain any more if was due to unfulfilled lust.
*****
"Oi, Van," Ace called out to me as we walked across the hotel lobby toward the check in desk. Another day, another nice, but not too swanky, hotel for the night. As I turned back to him Kim glanced my way and said, "I'll go start the process of getting everyone checked in." I couldn't help the way my eyes drifted to the sway and curve of her ass in her yoga pants as she ambled over to greet the girl behind the reception counter. Reluctantly I tore my eyes from her and turned to my friend and bandmate. It wasn't as if I didn't have enough opportunities in a day to check Kim out. Not only were we spending every night together, we somehow managed to gravitate to each other during the day. As Lucy's eyes and ears on the ground, wherever the band was Kim was. I knew exactly where she was in the room every time we sat down for an interview and as much as I loved performing on stage sometimes it felt like my focus was less on the crowd and more on the woman who stood watching in the wings. There was no excuse for us to sit together on the bus but then I wasn't even trying to find one.
"Yup." I turned back to Ace. I could just imagine what the knowing smirk on his face was for.
"Gray, Josh," Ace called softly and gave them a beckoning jerk of his head when they looked in our direction. Josh jogged over while Gray's slow saunter in our direction would have done Jonah and Zinzan proud. "What's up?" he asked when he stopped beside me digging his hands deep into his pockets.
"Dunno, ask him." I nodded at Ace.
Ace grinned at us and gave a gleeful little rub of his hands. "I don't think that it has escaped anyone's notice that Josh here has found himself in a rather unique position on this tour."
What. The. Hell?
Gray and I swung startled gazes on a confused looking Josh. Ace slung an arm around Josh's shoulders. "Josh here is the only one who doesn't have a roommate."
Aha! The direction of Ace's conversation became clearer if not his point.
"It didn't start out that way mate," Josh smirked giving me a sidelong glance.
"You're the only one who gets to room alone." Gray narrowed his eyes at Josh.
"Woah, woah, woah!" Josh held up his hands palms out in a 'let's take a minute' gesture. "Who said I'm alone in my room? I do a lot of entertaining after the show."
"Regardless," Ace rolled his eyes and pushed on, "would you not agree that it is safe to suggest that you are the only one who doesn't have to share with another member of the band?" Josh looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Or the tour crew," Ace continued hurriedly.
Gray muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite catch but it earned him a sharp elbow in the ribs from Ace.
Ace cleared his throat and continued, "What I am suggesting is that for the rest of this leg of the tour, until we get to the States, we should take turns at having our own room. So Josh isn't the only one entertaining in comfort."
"I couldn't give a shit, it doesn't affect me," I said.
"Oh that's right," Ace's evil grin returned, wider than ever, "Van's sharing with his girlfriend."
I rubbed my hand over the bridge of my nose. My mouth responded before my brain engaged. "Jesus man, she's not my girlfriend." She wasn't, although that sure as shit wasn't the story we were peddling. Didn't mean I didn't want her to be though, my girlfriend that is.
"Okay then," Gray spoke up, his serious look not quite hiding the unholy gleam in his eyes. "To keep things completely fair we'll include Kim in the roomie rotation. You guys fight it out for the single room tonight and I'll take one for the team by sharing with Kim."
I lunged for him. "Like fuck you will!" Ace and Josh both sprang at me before I could make contact and held me back. Fucking Gray. Had he not given up his crush on Kim? The urge to pound on him until he accepted that she was mine and no one else's filled me; it was a miracle I wasn't spitting with fury.
Gray's smile was wide. "You wanna reconsider that statement about her not being your girlfriend?"
I slumped and shook off the restraining hands. "Fine, you got me. She's my girlfriend." After all that was what we'd agreed to pretend if anyone questioned our sleeping arrangements. It was the first time the guys had mentioned it and even if Kim had told Lucy the truth, she hadn't believed it. I guess as far as the world was concerned Kim's and my dating ruse was working.
"Everything okay here?" Kim spoke up from beside me a concerned look on her face. I wondered how much she'd heard.
"No problem at all Duchess." I wrapped my arm around her and dropped a kiss to her temple. Fuck that felt good. She looked up at me in wide eyed surprise. Public displays of affection had not been in our wheelhouse unless it was to keep the groupies at bay.
"Okay then. I have the room keys," she said as she passed a key to me. I glanced down at the cardboard sleeve and noted the room number on it before I plucked the remaining keys from her hand. Finding the room number that matched mine I slipped them both into my pocket before I liberated the other key cards from their sleeves.
"You wankers have given me enough shit for one day, it's time to find something else to occupy you." I held my hand out in front of me and said, "There are three keys here and only one of them is for a single room." I tossed the bits of plastic and cardboard into the air and as they dropped to the ground I smirked. "Go, and may the best, or most desperate, man win."
Gray, Ace and Josh scrambled forward grabbing for the scattered pieces of plastic and cardboard as I looked down at Kim and said, "Let's go babe."