I pour myself a cup of tea. Watching as the emissary munches on a chocolate chip cookie. Its mouth arm is freaking me out.
"So, what do you think of our proposal?"
I look into the monster's eye.
"Not much really. Join your organisation, take down humanity, rule the world. Nah...not really my speed."
"Have..."
I interrupt, "And don't you think it's kinda counter-intuitive to wipe out humanity. Since practically all the monsters now are transformed humans. You'd be wiping out your main source of new monsters."
The cyclops drops its hand. Staring blankly at the wall to my left, eye widening slightly.
"Now that's an argument." It sounded both confused and impressed. It remained, blankly starring at the wall.
'Has it just gone catatonic.' I shrugged, drained the last of my tea and reached for a biscuit. Then it suddenly snapped to face me.
"But you were never a human. You were born a mysterious being."
I froze. Before glaring and raising a hand to count on my fingers.
"A, how do you know that? B, Ḧ̶̨͚͓̓͂͠ơ̷̧͔̱̗̥̱̈̀́̌͗̚͠ͅw̸̧̘̮̠̃͗̊͆̎͝ do you know that? And, C, W̷̧̗̝̭͉̘͍̮̻̣̫̣̪͈̯̯̜͑͐̓͊̓́̓̃̓͌́̏͐̃̓̕͠͝ĥ̴̢̢̨̠̯̣̰̫̼̰̟̞̏̓̋̑̉͠ͅy̶̦̤̖̠͔̓̑̇ ̴̪̪͇̝̳̤͔̝̦͆d̸͍̗̰̰̯͙͇͇̦̦̭̪̙͔̆͆̾̑̈̇̎̅̐̓́͋͐͜͝o̷̯͚̭̰͈͍̳͐͒͌̚e̷̫̺̳͍̜̾̈͐͊͆͑͛̕s̷̨̲͉͙͚̗͚̃̑ͅ ̵̢̛̩̩̙̟̯̲̀̅̉͒̉͐͋̂͌̀̈́̏̍͘ͅi̷̟͕̤̳͖͛t̶̢͇̤̫̹̺̳̬́͗̌͗̆̀̈́̀̕̚ ̶͎͙͑̕m̷̧̗͉̜̹̩̰̺̖͇͇̖̥͙̩͇̫͎͑͐̽͊̕ą̸̛̛̘̪̥͕̹͚̫̼̦̞̙̥͈͇͙̪̍̎̍̾͛͌͋͑̍̽́̄̎̓͝t̷̢̩̲͈̠̮̳̄͆̽̑͐̾̈́͘͘͝ͅt̷͍̤͉̬̥̠̻̼̐͐͆é̸̢̱̟͕͈͈̹̰̹͇͖͕̉̅̊̑̊̿͊̅̄͌̀r̴̨̛̪̪̫̜͎͍̒̈́!̶̨̛̖͍͙̠͙̩̌̆̄̔̔͊̀́͘?"
The cyclops grins, 'which looks profoundly weird on an arm but who am I to judge', and leans forward. "Our leader cares, so it matters."
I bristle and stand. "Well I don't care about your leader, and, frankly, you've outstayed your welcome." I point towards the door. "Thank you for coming, don't come again."
The cyclops stands before moving to leave. The door opens as I wave my hand, pulling on the lock telekinetically.
I follow behind the monster making sure he leaves.
"Gyoro Gyoro will be sorry to hear about your refusal."
"Yeah ye..."
I stopped and looked down, the cyclops had turned and stabbed me. Unlucky for him, the blade shattered on impact with my scales. A bright green liquid coating the shards. 'Most likely poison.' I looked up at the wide-eyed monster.
He stared back at me. "Oh, sorry, that was a test, you see, um..."
His nervous stuttering was cut off by my punch, the shower of red staining the hallway. "Uh, monsters."
I turned and stretched out my arms for the mop and bucket. Pulling them to me and sighing.
Suddenly the hallway exploded as a car monster burst through the wall. "You killed Katame!" It also received a body shattering punch. "P̶̫͆̈́ã̵͓̮̯̎̚ÿ̶̹́ ̷̧̙̃f̴̭̜̂ŏ̵̻r̷͉̗̜̉ ̴͓̘̼̃̈́m̷̜̂̈͝ÿ̸̢͚̠́͑ ̸̛͈̈́ẘ̷̨ä̸̢́́̚l̷̹̼̪̿̚͘ĺ̴̹͒́!̷̡̰̘̉̀̕."
I continued mopping, while stretching out my lower hands. Using telekinesis to pull the bricks back into place. As I fixed the place I muttered under my breath.
"Stupid monster association! Stupid me for letting them in! Stupid! Stupid!...Damn my video!"
I turned to go inside when I caught sight of smooth hair out of the corner of my eye. I looked over to see the hero Amai Mask in my hallway. I quickly confirmed that I had no glamour before looking him dead in the eye.
"Nope."
I turned and walked straight inside closing the door behind me. 'Shoot!' I looked around. 'What should I do now. I like my cozy life. I don't want to be on the Hero Association's most wanted list!' I spotted a post-it-note and pen near my pc. "Bingo."
Amai Mask pov:
After tracking the monster all the way to the abandoned district of City Z I watched the monster across the road from another empty apartment building. I squinted through the binoculars when the monster appeared to make tea.
'Why would a monster own an apartment?'
I stood when another monster appeared. Looking around another one was on the street. 'Time to do my duty as a hero.'
I quickly made my way out of the building to dispatch the monster outside before proceeding to eliminate those inside. I was about to reveal myself when the monster suddenly burst into the building and there was a sound like an explosion. I rushed up the stairs. Peeking around the corner I saw the monster holding a mop. The monster from my concert was cleaning up the remains of the other two and fixing the wall??? 'What kind of monster is this?'
They were muttering under their breath. I crept slowly forward to hear and prepare my attack.
"Stupid monster association! Stupid me for letting them in! Stupid! Stupid!...Damn my video!"
They turned but suddenly stopped and looked at me. 'Brilliant.' I prepared for an attack, but they just yelled a quick, "nope", and fled inside the apartment locking the door behind them. I tensed for a surprise attack, but again, nothing came.
Slowly walking forward, I stood outside their door. 'Coward. They flee before the shining symbol of justice.'
I take a step back so I can kick the door in, when a small rustling sound interrupts me. I look down. A small post-it note has been shoved under the door. I reach down and pick it up. Written on it in a hurried scrawl are the words;
Not threat! Like simple life. 4 more details please knock.
I almost frown at the paper but stop myself-no wrinkles!
'Does this monster really expect me to fall for this? But then again. Why would a monster have a job?'
I think a moment before looking at the door. 'Alright, if this monster thinks it can draw me into a trap. I'll let it try...and eliminate it the second it opens the door.'
I raise a hand and knock.
(Y/n's) Pov:
Knock. Knock.
I looked at the door, squinting suspiciously. 'No way Sweet Mask, one of the most ruthless heroes, actually followed the note.'
"Welp, what's life without the ever-present threat of death."
I open the door. Sweet mask was stood in the corridor, coiled to strike. I took a step back and raised my hands, all four of them, non-threateningly.
Sweet Mask started doing the squinty eyes face, lithely shifting on his feet. He tilts his head expectantly.
'Oh my gosh he's like a cat.'
I take a step back and gesture around, "Do you want to come in?"
Sweet mask cautiously steps inside, looking around with disdain...which slowly changes to surprise. He stalks further inside and runs a finger along the top of the sofa before taking a seat.
"It's...normal."
"What? Were you expecting a pile of bones in the corner." He glares at me, pounding a hand on the coffee table, making the cookies jump and my hackles raise. 'Don't break the coffee table, that was on sale.'
He scans me before holding up the letter.
"I think you're lying."
I step back and dodge the lightening fast hand that flicks at my neck, hair ruffling in the backwind. "Woah! Calm down sweetie."
He freezes. "What did you call me."
'Oh shit!'
He lunges and I dodge, grabbing the kettle from the kitchen and quickly place it on the table as a placating gesture. "Tea?"
'Please just calm down, I don't want my apartment destroyed by a tantrum-ing idol.'
His eyes narrow, "Poison won't work on me."
I pour myself a cup and take a sip, "not trying to."
"You're powerful for a monster." I nod in response, then take a bite of cookie.
He opens his mouth to speak.
"I also wasn't lying when I said I live here, and mean you no harm." He tried to speak again and I cut him off. "I don't hurt humans. I like humans. And my life," I glance down, "Please don't break the table."
He un-clenches his hand from its grip on the table, looks like he was going to throw it at me, and a small look of surprise graces his face. "Why would I believe this nonsense."
I roll my eyes. "I don't know, maybe because I haven't hurt anyone."
"you destroyed those other two..." He trails off, and looks around the apartment again.
"You're finally getting it. I don't hurt humans, but I do hunt monsters. Like an underground hero." I bop in emphasis and he looks disgusted.
"Monsters can't be heroes."
I lean back, pointing a thumb at myself for emphasis, "this one sorta is."
"You can't..."
I flap my hands to interrupt again, "get those nasty attitudes outa my face. I am, deal with it."
He springs to his feet, leaning close and jabbing a finger in my face. "no, you can't. you are an enemy of justice, who turned their back on their humanity and..."
"I was never a human."
Sweet Mask pauses. "What?"
I shrug, "most monsters are humans that changed, right?"
He nods.
"Well not me. Monster born and bred. I'm different. You could say, I'm the monster that became a human."
Sweet Mask seems to suffer a minor existential crisis. I go to take another cookie before frowning upon seeing the empty plate. I sigh and get up to put the plate in the sink.
"City A, monster disappears without a trace. The reports of the new hero. City Z's depletion of monsters."
I look over to see the now obviously distressed idol muttering while he taps his hands on his thighs.
I take a cautious step closer. "um alright there...buddy."
He zeroes in on me, "They're all you right!"
"Um," I wave my hands sheepishly, "ta da."
"A monster transformed into an ally of justice by the power of a hero."
He's muttering again. I float the kettle to me and take a sip, 'well he's not gonna drink any.'
It's still boiling, just how I like it.
I almost choke when he suddenly swings his arms out and crows triumphantly. "It shall be done!" he strides to the door and yanks it open. Turning on his heel and sending me an exaggerated bow, Sweet Mask smiles beautifully. "Prepare for change. I will be reporting your existence to the agency."
"Please don't."
He ignores this and, in a flash, he leaves, the door slamming behind him. I pull the spilled tea from my top back into the kettle. Watching the door, no sounds come from the other side, and a quick mental scan shows Sweet Mask has already left the building.
Even though there's no one to hear me, I still question the empty air.
"What the frick just happened!?"