The Monstrous Hero (One Punch Man reader insert story)

Chapter 3

I pour myself a cup of tea. Watching as the emissary munches on a chocolate chip cookie. Its mouth arm is freaking me out.

"So, what do you think of our proposal?"

I look into the monster's eye.

"Not much really. Join your organisation, take down humanity, rule the world. Nah...not really my speed."

"Have..."

I interrupt, "And don't you think it's kinda counter-intuitive to wipe out humanity. Since practically all the monsters now are transformed humans. You'd be wiping out your main source of new monsters."

The cyclops drops its hand. Staring blankly at the wall to my left, eye widening slightly.

"Now that's an argument." It sounded both confused and impressed. It remained, blankly starring at the wall.

'Has it just gone catatonic.' I shrugged, drained the last of my tea and reached for a biscuit. Then it suddenly snapped to face me.

"But you were never a human. You were born a mysterious being."

I froze. Before glaring and raising a hand to count on my fingers.

"A, how do you know that? B, Ḧ̶̨͚͓̓͂͠ơ̷̧͔̱̗̥̱̈̀́̌͗̚͠ͅw̸̧̘̮̠̃͗̊͆̎͝ do you know that? And, C, W̷̧̗̝̭͉̘͍̮̻̣̫̣̪͈̯̯̜͑͐̓͊̓́̓̃̓͌́̏͐̃̓̕͠͝ĥ̴̢̢̨̠̯̣̰̫̼̰̟̞̏̓̋̑̉͠ͅy̶̦̤̖̠͔̓̑̇ ̴̪̪͇̝̳̤͔̝̦͆d̸͍̗̰̰̯͙͇͇̦̦̭̪̙͔̆͆̾̑̈̇̎̅̐̓́͋͐͜͝o̷̯͚̭̰͈͍̳͐͒͌̚e̷̫̺̳͍̜̾̈͐͊͆͑͛̕s̷̨̲͉͙͚̗͚̃̑ͅ ̵̢̛̩̩̙̟̯̲̀̅̉͒̉͐͋̂͌̀̈́̏̍͘ͅi̷̟͕̤̳͖͛t̶̢͇̤̫̹̺̳̬́͗̌͗̆̀̈́̀̕̚ ̶͎͙͑̕m̷̧̗͉̜̹̩̰̺̖͇͇̖̥͙̩͇̫͎͑͐̽͊̕ą̸̛̛̘̪̥͕̹͚̫̼̦̞̙̥͈͇͙̪̍̎̍̾͛͌͋͑̍̽́̄̎̓͝t̷̢̩̲͈̠̮̳̄͆̽̑͐̾̈́͘͘͝ͅt̷͍̤͉̬̥̠̻̼̐͐͆é̸̢̱̟͕͈͈̹̰̹͇͖͕̉̅̊̑̊̿͊̅̄͌̀r̴̨̛̪̪̫̜͎͍̒̈́!̶̨̛̖͍͙̠͙̩̌̆̄̔̔͊̀́͘?"

The cyclops grins, 'which looks profoundly weird on an arm but who am I to judge', and leans forward. "Our leader cares, so it matters."

I bristle and stand. "Well I don't care about your leader, and, frankly, you've outstayed your welcome." I point towards the door. "Thank you for coming, don't come again."

The cyclops stands before moving to leave. The door opens as I wave my hand, pulling on the lock telekinetically.

I follow behind the monster making sure he leaves.

"Gyoro Gyoro will be sorry to hear about your refusal."

"Yeah ye..."

I stopped and looked down, the cyclops had turned and stabbed me. Unlucky for him, the blade shattered on impact with my scales. A bright green liquid coating the shards. 'Most likely poison.' I looked up at the wide-eyed monster.

He stared back at me. "Oh, sorry, that was a test, you see, um..."

His nervous stuttering was cut off by my punch, the shower of red staining the hallway. "Uh, monsters."

I turned and stretched out my arms for the mop and bucket. Pulling them to me and sighing.

Suddenly the hallway exploded as a car monster burst through the wall. "You killed Katame!" It also received a body shattering punch. "P̶̫͆̈́ã̵͓̮̯̎̚ÿ̶̹́ ̷̧̙̃f̴̭̜̂ŏ̵̻r̷͉̗̜̉ ̴͓̘̼̃̈́m̷̜̂̈͝ÿ̸̢͚̠́͑ ̸̛͈̈́ẘ̷̨ä̸̢́́̚l̷̹̼̪̿̚͘ĺ̴̹͒́!̷̡̰̘̉̀̕."

I continued mopping, while stretching out my lower hands. Using telekinesis to pull the bricks back into place. As I fixed the place I muttered under my breath.