It was half past 9 when Jungkook returned. He quietly turned the knob, trying to be discreet.
"Welcome back."
He closed his eyes, afraid to turn around.
"Took you long enough to come back."
Jimin stood in the living room, his hair disheveled.
"It's not the first time", Jungkook whispered, guilty.
The older sighed, anger dissipating at the apologetic and regretful voice of his friend.
"Jungkook, you really did fucked up this time."
Before the said man could reply, footsteps were heard coming towards them.
Seokjin? Jungkook thought, scared.
But who came out was a sleepy Taehyung, rubbing his eyes while he spoke, "Kook's here?"
"Hmm", the man hummed, making his presence known, "Where else will I be."
The room went silent. Jungkook drowning in his guilt and shame, Taehyung still awaking up and Jimin... Jimin was lost. He knew he had to help Jungkook, the younger must learn how to control his anger. But.
He looked at their maknae and then at Taehyung.
But he was a kid just like them. He was not even 19 yet. He didn't know how to help his brother, he doesn't have enough experience or maturity to give Jungkook advise.
"Sit here, I'll bring you water. And then you're gonna tell us everything that went through you", Jimin ordered, coming up with a plan.
The younger nodded meekly and sat down on the sofa, Taehyung coming beside him.
"Hey", the older greeted, trying to fix his hair.
"Sorry, I was rude to you too."
Taehyung's lips quirked up in a smile seeing how regretful Jungkook looked.
"I'm used to it, we both are."
"That's even worse."
"Well, yeah. But I don't know how to make it better", Taehyung shrugged. Even though his parents were a lot better than Kook's, they were mostly away or busy. He could talk to them and ask them for help but... He didn't want to disturb them. His parents have always solved their problems themselves and taught their son the same. Not the best advice if you ask the author.
"Here, drink up, and speak."
Jungkook looked up and took the glass, gulping it down in three swallows.
"First, I don't want you to think that I'm saying all this to gain your pity or forgiveness."
"Don't worry, this is not a K-Drama. We won't forgive your rude actions just because you have a sad backstory and a pretty face", Taehyung deadpanned.
"Okay, good. I'm... I plan so much, you know", he started, rolling the glass in his hand.
"I tell myself that when I'll be angry, I'm gonna stay quiet and drink a glass of water. I say that I won't speak until I'm calm, that I'll lock myself up if I have to. But... But when I'm actually angry? It goes all drown the drain."
His friends nodded, relating to the struggle.
"You two always forgive me, and every time you do, I feel like I'm taking you both for granted, I know that I'm a bad friend to you two. I scold myself, saying how I should be better the next time but I'm never better. I don't remember my plan to deal with anger! I forget everything and the only thing that remains in my mind is to hurt someone, to guilt trip whoever is in front of me."
The room was engulfed in silence again. Jimin and Taehyung thought over Jungkook's words. It was the first time the younger had spilled his heart out like this.
Jungkook closed his eyes, not letting the few tears fall. The boy was never taught how to deal with emotions, the only thing his parents gave him were lessons how to be successful and happy. They never told him how to get over sadness or handle rage.
"You should try meditation."
The boy looked up in surprise. Jin stood near the hallway, leaning against it. His eyes were downcast and voice timid. Jungkook knew he was to he blamed for that.
"Meditation, yoga... These things can help you to deal with your anger", Seokjin clarified, shuffling on his feet.
Something fluffy flitted behind the man. Jungkook saw a shadow of a tail, dark purple with hints of black. He had seen it before, when they first met, but right now, it seemed cuter.
"I know ways to deal with anger but when I have to apply those ways, I'm not able to", Jungkook whispered, looking desperate, "And please, don't think that I want you to forgive me because I'm this sad pathetic boy who knows shit to handle his emotions. But... I just want you to know, that I'm trying, and I'm so sorry for everything that I said to you."
Seokjin kept looking down for a few moments, his feet no longer shuffling. Finally he looked up, his eyes hard and empty.
"I'm not angry with you, I don't have any right to."
It hurt, it really did. But Jungkook didn't completely understand Jin's words.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You're my owner, and I'm your servant. We get angry at people whom we have relations with. I'm no one to you, and you are no one to me."
Jungkook looked down, pain and regret making his heart feel heavy.
"I have no right to feel anything towards you, not even anger."
Jimin wanted to interrupt and say something but this was a mess their maknae had made and this time, he'll have to fix it.
"I understand", Jungkook whispered, defeated. Those words hurt him deeply, but it made him realise how much it would have hurt Jin to be insulted like that.
"Seokjin, can I ask one question?" Jungkook whispered after a few seconds.
The hybrid nodded, eyes wide in anticipation.
"Are you... Scared of me?"
The odd question made Taehyung frown but Jungkook knew that if the answer was yes, then he had really lost his new relationship with Jin.
"Yes."
The word cut deeper than any physical wound could have, and as sad as Jungkook felt, he was also determined to change it.
"I promise, soon, I will earn your trust", he declared, looking directly at the man.
Seokjin was still looking at him with the same empty eyes, his smile gone and tail no longer swishing.
"I don't think so", he whispered and turned around.
The tail stayed wrapped around his waist and the sight made Jungkook smile a little, his will strengthening.
"You really want him to forgive you", Jimin later said, looking at his maknae.
"I do. But I also want to be better for the both of you. You have helped me, even though you were as clueless as I was. I owe this to all three of you."
Taehyung grinned at his words, happy that their maknae was going to try.
"Guess your heart really calls out to this kitty, huh", Taehyung winked.
"I don't know that yet... But I really want him to be comfortable around me. How will I be any better than those bullies if Jin fears me?"
Jimin nodded, patting the boy's back.
"Kook, you do what you want, and we'll try out best to help you."
Jungkook smiled gratefully at his friend, feeling blessed to have these two.
"Okay then, where should we start from?" Taehyung asked.
"Let's look for a yoga instructor."
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Jungkook is me, I am Jungkook.
I've always found it so hard to control my anger, to not let my emotions hurt others. I think we all can relate to Jungkook on various levels. But I hope that we, just like JK, can get better and better with time.
Thank you for reading, leave votes and follow if you haven't ❤️ Bye bye, and remember, asking for help doesn't make you weak ☺️