Pippa’s POV
My eyes opened slowly and the previous night came flooding back to me. The shouting, the fighting, the revelations. I remembered how hurt Liam looked when I revealed I’d been going behind his back. I felt sick with guilt. I picked up my phone from the bed next to me to see if he’d called. He hadn’t. My heart sank. I got up and realised I had fallen asleep in my clothes from the night before. I wandered downstairs and saw Charles asleep on the sofa. He was fiercely protective of me and that was part of what made us so close. Nobody understood. I slipped under his arm and lay next to him on our parents’ giant sofa wondering what had happened to the two little kids that had played in the garden for hours on end without a care in the world. Eight tours of Afghan between us, that’s what. We started so young and it became all we had ever known and it was all I had wanted. I lay there thinking for ages until Charles stirred and opened his eyes slowly.
“Pip?” He whispered and I nodded. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” I replied and he raised his eyebrows. “Ok, I’m not fine but I’m nearly fine.”
“You’re not even close to nearly fucking fine!”
“I tried to have Liam and the Army. Now, I stand to lose both! You wouldn’t be fucking fine!”
“Why are you bothered about Liam? He is master of fuckmuppetry when he’s not in Afghan and he messes you about?! Does he have some redeeming quality that I don’t know about?”
“You can’t choose who you fall in love with, Charles.”
“I don’t believe you are in love with him Pip. You’re in love with the idea of him but you’re not in love with him.”
“I said that to you a million times with Becky and you didn’t listen!”
“But Becky was different, I had a duty to her.”
“You knocked her up and felt you had to stay with her because of that. She fucked someone else and then somehow you got the blame in the divorce?! He fucks someone else but we’re thrown back together by a life-or-death situation but I’ll get the blame in the divorce because I’m a liar. I think we both have terrible taste in spouses!”
“You’re not a liar.”
“I wanted to have it both ways so I concocted a plan and didn’t tell him! That’s not what you do in a marriage.”
“I swear if I hadn’t got this fucking limp I’d have flattened him!”
“And I would have been pissed off at you for about a year! I don’t want a fucking flat husband!”
“Soon to be ex-husband.”
“I need to try and salvage it!”
“Why? He’s a dick! You deserve better!”
“Because I saw what that divorce did to you and you didn’t love her!”
“What’re you trying to say, Pippa?”
“You didn’t love her and your divorce almost killed you, I love him so I’ll never be able to deal with a divorce.”
“You don’t have kids, it’ll be easier.”
“I have to tell him.”
“You have to tell him what?”
“You know what I mean, Charles! I gave him the other reason why I don’t want to get pregnant. I didn’t give him the real one!”
“You said at the time that he could never know and I promised never to tell him. How is telling him about that gonna make a difference. It’ll piss him off even more!”
“But at least he’ll know! Surely it’s better for him to know everything!”
“He wasn’t there and you said you wouldn’t tell him. There are three people who know about that and I’m damn sure that neither Jackie nor I will tell so if you do why did you make us swear we wouldn’t? I have kept that secret from Mum, Dad, even Molly! Mum and Dad deserved to know and to be honest, Liam did too but you chose not to tell him, Pip. Why tell him now?”
“I’ve hidden things from him our whole marriage! I want to be able to look him in the eye and say I’ve told him everything!”
“If you rake all that shit up, it will only upset you! I can’t see you cry like you cried then again, Philippa! And I won’t lie to Mum about why you’re crying again either!”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Please, don’t make it harder for yourself, Pip!”
I spotted a small figure stood in the doorway. Sam poked his head around the door.
“Hey Monkey!” I smiled and jumped up from the sofa. Sam ran into my arms and I lifted him into the air.
“Good Morning Scamp!” Charles laughed as Sam hugged me.
“Is Uncle Liam here?” Sam asked innocently and I shook my head. “Is he fucking the medic? That’s what Mummy said.” I turned to Charles who sat there in utter horror. He stood up, wincing as he moved his leg and limped over to where I was stood.
“Sam, we don’t say things like that. Mummy might have said it but first of all, it’s not true and second of all, it’s very naughty words!” He lectured.
“But you say them, and Auntie Pippa says them and Uncle Liam says them. He said them last night!” The seven-year-old protested.
“Well Auntie Pippa and I are grown-ups and Uncle Liam…well he’s naughty!”
“Is he not a grown-up?”
“He doesn’t act like one!”
“Is it because he’s not very nice to Auntie Pippa and you have to atect her.”
“Atect!” I muttered under my breath in laughter. What a sweetheart!
“Yes. Because I’m her big brother and that’s what big brother’s do!” Charles laughed and ruffled my hair. I glared at him playfully.
“Can I have a little sister to atect?” Sam chirped.
“You can maybe have a brother or a sister. I’d have to ask Molly first though.” My brother smiled. Sam looked confused.
“Why? I thought I’d have to ask Mummy?”
“Well you could but she’d say no. I say let’s ask Molly.”
“Can we ask her now?”
“She’s sleeping now.”
“When she wakes up?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because if you ask a girl if she wants to have kids with you before you’ve even taken her on a date, she’ll run a blo…a blinking mile!”
“Why?”
“It’s just how dating works, Scamp, you’ll learn this when you get older!”
“You’re dating Molly?”
“I hope so!” Charles grinned and my eyes shifted to the door where Molly was gazing at him. She caught my eye and smiled. Charles turned round and spotted Molly, before flushing scarlet. “How much did you…?”
“From its just how dating works…What did you say before that?” She said looking confused.
“I’ll tell you later.” My brother seemed to sigh with relief.
“Well, I have made you two a lunch reservation at Cloisters.” I announced and Molly’s face lit up. Charles mouthed ‘I fucking love you’ and I laughed. “Therefore, Charles, you need to get Sam home or Becky will have your guts for garters.”
“That’s true. What time did you book for?” Charles rolled his eyes as he thought of his ex-wife.
“Half one.” I told him and started to head out of the room.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to speak to Liam.”
“Are you gonna tell him?”
“He deserves to know.”
“It’ll be the end of your marriage!” He warned and I stopped and looked at him.
“I’d rather it ended in truth than continued in lies.” I thought aloud and ran up the stairs. A few minutes later, I heard Sam rummaging around his room and I realised that I would have to drop them home because Charles couldn’t drive. I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. Molly caught my arm.
“That other dress, is that for lunch?” She whispered so that Charles wouldn’t hear.
“Absolutely! He’ll go crazy when he sees it! Trust me!” I beamed and she smiled before running upstairs.
“We need to go, Pip!” Charles was getting impatient.
“Monkey!” I shouted up the stairs. “We need to go now sweetheart!”
“Just coming!” He yelled back. We waited for a few minutes.
“Come on Scamp!” Charles called.
“I’m coming, Daddy. In a minute!” The seven-year-old replied.
“Sam! Get down here now!” Charles raged and my nephew came running down the stairs and looked up at me as he jumped off the bottom one. We walked out and I grabbed my Dad’s car keys as Liam had taken my car the night before. Sam jumped into the back and Charles muttered about a car seat before getting into the passenger seat. I got into the driver’s seat and drove to Rebecca’s house. Charles got out and let Sam out of the back. The child ran up to the door and waited for his dad on the doorstep. Charlie bent down and knocked on my window, I rolled it down.
“Remember, you don’t have to tell him! You-” He started and I tried to cut him off. “No Pippa, let me finish. You are not the bad guy in all of this! You have been through so much that he has no idea about! Some of it he will never know! He is a good guy, remember that too, he’s just a bit of a tool! And if he won’t hear you out then that’s more fool him! You are the best he will ever get!”
“Yes, sir!” I joked and he raised his eyebrows.
“I’m serious, Pip.”
“I know. But if I don’t laugh I’ll cry. Bringing it all up is hard.” He nodded as I spoke before kissing my cheek and turning away.
“One more thing…I’m probably gonna take Molly back to Mum and Dad’s so…you know the drill!”
“I’ll stay away for as long as I can!” I laughed and he gave me the thumbs up before he limped up the drive to the door of his former home. I watched the pair of them go inside before driving off to a café in town. I sat down with my cappuccino and plucked up the courage to do what had terrified me all morning. I dialled Liam’s number and waited while it rang. Eventually, he answered.
“What do you want?” He grunted.
“To explain…to apologise…to see you.” I said and he sighed.
“Well, if you promise no more lies or messed up versions of the truth then I’ll meet you at Starbucks in half an hour.”
“I swear.” I promised almost dying of happiness. It was going to be hard to admit everything to him but at least he would have the whole truth and even if he didn’t like it, my conscience was clear.
Thanks for reading guys, it means a lot! Next chapter, all will be revealed!!