If there's one thing, I can't stand its liars and betrayers. I don't care who they are or why they did it. It boils down to one thing—the truth—and the truth is, liars and betrayers all have a choice. It may be a hard one, but it's still a choice. That's why my sympathy card will never be given out. My mom had the option to stay and honor her commitment, but she didn't. I get that she felt trapped and depressed, but she chose to leave. That doesn't mean I don't love her, because against everything, I do, but I also can't stand her. -Georgie aka Alexx
Alex's legs started shaking uncontrollably as her hands turned ice cold. "It's not what you think," she insisted, but in her heart, she knew that was a lie. It was worse—so much worse because Alex didn't have a reason not to tell her best friend. She kept Ravi a secret out of pure selfishness.
Alexx stood in the middle of the room like a statue—stiff and unyielding. "Then explain it to me because from where I'm standing, you kept Ravi from me."
She forced back the protest frothing in her mouth. Ravi wasn't hers to claim. He wasn't anyone's and the mere thought of Alexx stamping MINE across his forehead had her on edge. "We have a class together," Alex explained slowly. She swallowed, her fingers turning white as she mangled a swatch of blue velvet. "But we're not that close. Honestly, I didn't even know who he was for the longest time."
A dash of skepticism swept across Alexx's face. "How is that even possible?"
It seemed weird now, but back then, she was so wrapped up in her own world she never noticed Ravi. "Because he always had a hood up and bolted in and out of class like the Flash. He never talked and pretty much ignored everyone except for Keya and wow, talk about a shocker when I learned he was Keya's cousin—"
"Cousin?" Alexx screeched so high, Alex winced.
Rubbing her ears, she nodded. "He lives with her and her family."
Alexx stumbled over to the bed and sagged down like a pile of limp pasta. "What else don't I know?"
She bit her lower lip, contemplating what she could say and what she couldn't.
Alexx popped back up, her finger wagging. "Don't you dare leave anything out, Alex Canterbury! You owe me the truth."
The last bit was like sandpaper against her skin. Why did she owe Alexx anything? But of course, she did what she always did and kept her mouth shut. "Okay, um, let me see." Buying herself time, Alex fiddled with one of the knobs on the sewing machine. "I don't even know where to start."
"How about when you first talked?"
Alex's face grew hot as she thought about the first time she got a good look at him. She'd been mesmerized until he opened his mouth. "Well, to be honest, I thought he was a complete ass."
Her best friend's ears perked up as she shuffled to the edge of the bed. "No way. Ravi? I can't see that. What happened?"
Alex started telling her about Ravi and Keya's awkward fight and then all the encounters after that, making sure to phrase things in a certain way, so she didn't give away how she felt about him which was confusing in itself. She was drawn to Ravi. There was no question about that, but why?
Part of her wondered if it had to do with the fact that there were no expectations with him. He never demanded anything out of her or assumed she was a certain way. With Ravi, she was a clean slate. She could be whoever she wanted to be. Do whatever she wanted to do. It was liberating and a little scary because there were no limits. She could fly as high as her wings let her.
"—and then when I had dinner at Keya's house I ran into him again and we kind of talked, but it wasn't about anything important," she rushed to assure her best friend. She continued to ramble, fully aware that it was making no sense, but she couldn't stop. "And so then—"
Alexx threw up her hands. "Stop, stop." Brows knitted together, she cocked her head to the side, making her ponytail fall over her shoulder. "Let me get this straight. You guys randomly run into each other and sometimes talk during class, but you're kind of friends and kind of not?"
Alex scratched the back of her neck. "Uh, yeah. Basically." She knew her answer wasn't going to fly, especially when Alexx gave her a look that nearly singed the hair off her head. "It's hard to describe." And that was the honest to god truth.
Alexx glanced down and dug her toe into the carpet, letting out a hefty sigh. "So there's nothing between you two?" she asked in a controlled but deliberate voice.
Alex's heart started to pound. "You know I'm with Hugo."
A strange look flickered across her best friend's face. "Being with someone doesn't mean you stop feeling."
The pounding became an all-out race as Alex's hands turned clammy. "What are you trying to say?"
Alexx's gaze met hers head-on, and she forced herself not to flinch at the hurt layered deep within. "Do you like Ravi?"
She lowered her lashes, intent on not letting her best friend see the conflict raging inside. There was only one right answer, but just because it was right, didn't make it true. Regardless, Alex knew what she had to say. "No, I don't like him." The words were hard-earned, but they came out effortless. Thank god. If Alexx knew her real answer, she'd freak.
Her best friend sent her a relieved smile. "Good. Can you imagine how awkward it would if you did like him?" She chuckled, and Alex joined in, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice.
"Yeah, talk about a nightmare."
Alexx's smile faded as the hurt crept back in. "I still don't get why you kept him a secret when I told you I liked him."
Maybe because Ravi was the first relationship she had where Alexx didn't factor. Everyone—hell, everything now that she thought about it—revolved around Alexx. The only exception to that rule was her parents, but they weren't exactly a bright spot in her life at the moment.
She still hadn't looked her mother in the eye since she found out. She physically couldn't. Not without wanting to vomit. She went back and forth on whether or not to tell her dad. He deserved to know, but it would crush him and ensure they went their separate ways. What would happen to her then? Would she get shuffled from apartment to apartment every other week until college? The thought had her blood pumping, so she stood up and walked, unable to keep still.
"Freddy?" Alexx asked, worry in her voice.
Alex wrung her hands together. She had to say something, but what? She threw out the first thing that came to mind. "Things were just starting with your brother. I didn't want you to think I was playing him."
Alexx absently nodded, making shapes in the carpet with her foot as she thought about it. "Makes sense, but I wish you would have believed in our friendship enough to know that I would never think that about you. You're not that type of person."
Alex tried to swallow past the lump forming in her throat. She didn't deserve Alexx's trust. Not only had she lied, but she had betrayed the very core of their friendship. Guilt swamped her, pulling her deeper and deeper into the murky waters.
"Is everything okay, Freddy?"
Panic seized her. "What do you mean?" Could Alexx tell she was lying?
"Other people may buy that nothing-is-going-on act, but I'm your best friend. You can't fool me. Something's happening." She hesitated, pulling at the hem of her shirt. "Is it your parents?"
Every muscle froze as tension zipped through her body. "I don't know what you're talking about." Please, don't ask. Please, don't ask. The last thing she wanted to do was have a breakdown. Her best friend would try and comfort her and then she'd feel doubly guilty.
Alexx opened her mouth but then thought better of it which she was eternally grateful for. "You know I'm always here for you, right?"
Alex looked into those big, blue eyes with intentions so pure, it blinded, and thought, I'm going to hell. "I know. Thanks, Georgie."
Her smile lit up the room. "Of course. What else are best friends for?" Her phone beeped, and she checked it. "Sloane and Bri want to catch a movie and then go out for pizza. You want to join?"
She shook her head and motioned to her sewing machine. "I have costumes to work on, plus a never-ending pile of homework." And because Alexx looked disappointed, she tossed out, "But maybe next time."
Alexx arched an eyebrow as she pulled at her ponytail. "I know you don't mean that. Sloane and Bri aren't that bad, you know. Maybe if you hung out with them again—"
"They're your friends, Georgie. Always have been."
"They could be yours too."
"We like different things. I get what you're trying to do, but it won't work. Besides, I don't think Sloane is too happy that I joined forces with Keya."
"Yeah, she's not thrilled especially when she found out Keya slept over here." Alexx threw out the last bit in a rush like she wanted to get it over with.
"What are you talking about? Keya's never slept over."
Alexx blinked. "Really?"
She frowned. "Really. You know how my parents are. If anyone were going to sleep over, it would be you."
"I knew it," Alexx mumbled under her breathe, her shoulders slumping in silent relief.
"Did someone say something to you?"
Alexx waved away the question. "It's nothing. Listen, I better go if I want to make the movie in time. Talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," she said, shaking off her confusion.
She walked Alexx to the door and then went back to her room and continued sewing. She was almost done with the pants when she realized she hadn't talked to Hugo all day except for making excuses as to why she couldn't hang out. Feeling bad, she shot him a text.
Alex: Hey, what are you up to?
Moments later, her phone rang.
"Hey, you," she greeted Hugo above the banging and grinding sounds in the background.
"Hey!" he said, his voice super loud. "Long time no talk."
"Yeah, sorry about that." She played with the ends of her hair as guilt rained down. Hugo was no fool. He was well aware of the fact that she'd been avoiding him, but what he didn't know was that she was avoiding everyone in her life. More noisy sounds blasted in her ear as well as voices. "If you're busy..."
"No, it's okay," Hugo told her. "I'm just hanging out with people and getting coffee."
"Hugo!" someone called. "Did you see this? I can't believe they actually—"
Hugo cut the person off. "Hold onto that thought. Got to take this."
"Okay, but don't take too long. I have the—" The words became muffled, then faint as Hugo stepped outside, the wind whistling around him.
"Sorry about that. I'm all yours," Hugo said, but despite the sweet words, Alex's stomach clenched. That voice sounded an awful like Libby's from Playhouse. In fact, she'd bet her sewing machine it was. What was he doing hanging out with her? "So how was your day?" he asked.
"It was good. Very good." The words were rote as her mind whirled. "How was yours?"
"Good," he echoed. "I wish I could have seen you, though."
A knife twisted in her gut. "Yeah, sorry about that. Busy with the drama club." Another lie. Man, she was wracking them up today.
A long pause. "Drama club. Right."
She winced as the knife slid in deeper. "Um, so you're just hanging out with friends right now?" She wanted to ask about Libby but feared what he might say. What if he was done with Alex and moving on? After all, Libby was older, probably more experienced, and didn't have silly things like curfews. More importantly, Libby was there with him, instead of hiding out in her room like a coward.
"Yeah." Peals of laughter rang in the background. "Talking about gaming and stuff."
Didn't sound like it to her, but she couldn't call him out without getting trapped in her own lies. The conversation stalled after that. Alex tried to come up with something engaging, but all she could think about was Alexx, Ravi, Hugo, and Libby. Oh, the tangled weave her life had become. How was she going to find her way out of this?