LEAH;
There was a knock at my door as I continued to flip through the NCAA magazine from last year, ignoring dad. I knew he wanted to talk to me about school and basketball but I didn't want to.
Dad opens the door and peeks his head in, "Whatcha' doin' bud?"
He walks in and sits on the side of my bed, comfortingly squeezing my leg.
"Nothing much," I answer while skimming through the magazine.
Dad sighs and pats my leg before getting up, "Leah, let's go for a drive".
I sigh in return, I was wearing leggings and a basketball hoodie. I just put on some shoes and followed him.
———
I sat in front of dad in a booth at a small cafe as he drank coffee and ate a pie. I just ordered water, I wanted to act indifferent.
We both sat in silence while he ate his dessert, which happened to be our favorite pie. He knew how petty I was when I was mad so he didn't question anything.
"Now that I think of it... Cannibalism holds the potential to solve both hunger and overpopulation problems" Dad said while setting his fork down.
I narrowed my eyes, "Why are you thinking about this right now?!"
He laughed, "I'm kidding. But if you think about it, it's true" he said while wiping his mouth with a napkin.
I smiled and drank my water.
He called over a waitress, "Thank you, it was delicious"
I looked down at his plate to see that he wasn't even halfway done with the pie. I reached over the table to grab the plate.
"Actually, you know what? I'm going to finish this off..." I spoke while the waitress quickly picked up the plate.
"No, no" my dad said while the waitress gave me an apologetic look and began to walk away with the plate.
I sat back in my seat, "Are you serious?" I asked, "I know you're strict about diet during the season, but this is just rude"
"Hey, you piss where I eat, you don't eat" Dad said as I looked at him like he was crazy.
Why was he saying weird things all of a sudden?
"Oh, but you do? What, does this mean you're eating my piss?" I asked while playing with my empty straw wrapper, "Well, that's disgusting"
"What a charming young lady you turned out to be. I guess I raised you right" Dad said with a big smile.
I smile and shrug, "Yeah, that's what they say"
It goes silent again before dad sighs and speaks up again, "I don't suppose basketball is on your to-do list this year, right?"
I sigh, here it goes, "Correct. Basketball is one big fat 'no'. I'm not playing again... Ever"
Dad raises his eyebrows in mock surprise, "Oh, you're gonna piss off the sport that you enjoy and trained so hard for, only to kiss it goodbye?"
I shrug again, continuing to play with the straw wrapper, "I guess".
Dad grabs the wrapper from my hands as I look up at him,
"What the-"
"Nonhyeon-dong is the school that your mother played for. She was a major part of the basketball scene when she went there. Ever since your mother graduated, ND hasn't won a national championship, that's at least twenty years" Dad ranted as I listened with my head down, "Now, if you apply yourself, you could help the school win one. It could get you out there"
I looked down and fiddled with my hands,
"Leah, look at me"
I sighed and looked up, he was serious now, I could hear it in his voice.
"I've cared for you my entire life and I know how happy playing basketball makes you. I've witnessed it so many times that it's my favorite look on you. Your mother would be so proud of you, I know she is, right now. She wouldn't want you to throw away your talent and dreams"
I could feel a painful lump forming in my throat, I didn't want to cry.
Dad puts his hand on mine to stop my fiddling, "I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of your efforts, your drive, your focus, and how you never gave up before all of this. I was so proud that you found that light of hope in your darkest moments. I was proud that you got up everyday and got things done. You inspire me to be the best that I can be. You give me courage through your words, and trust through your actions. You're always there when I need you, inspiring me and showing me that everything will be okay"
At this point my eyes were watering, "W-what's the point?" I asked with my voice breaking a bit.
I only played basketball because it reminded me of my mother and it gave me the closure that I needed. It helped me imagine how things would've been.
Now I'm at a point in the grieving process where I want nothing to do with remembering her.
"How about the fact that you are one of the most talented players that the sport's ever seen?" Dad asked as I scoffed and looked away while wiping my eyes, "C'mon, you would've been great"
I look back at him, "You're not really pushing that you coulda been great' speech. You are a cliché. You know that, right?"
Dad manages to crack a smile, he could never catch a break with me.
"You're the best basketball player that I have ever seen and I am so proud to point at you on the court and say, 'That's my daughter and she's the best thing to ever happen to me'," He finished with a loving smile along with a comforting squeeze to my hand.
"I know this sport helped you with your mother," he starts as my head shoots up to look at him in shock, how did he know?
"Before her passing... I saw that she introduced you to basketball and at first I didn't like that she did. Basketball was always a cursed sport in our family, our relatives would always get hurt and it would create rifts in our family, believe me... I know this all too well." Dad sighs.
"But then, I saw you play for the first time, you had the skills, the drive and the sportsmanship that no one in our family has ever had. Your mom noticed this too, and she knew that you would make a difference in the basketball community, no matter where you played"
"But right now, I know you seem to think that you hate her for leaving you alone, but, maybe basketball is the real closure you need. I know it's your form of therapy, so just... just spend this last year in her memory. This is your last year of high school, the golden years are ending and I want you to go out with a bang, do it for her, do it for your mother"
I sniffle and look away to wipe my tears. He continues to look at me before he sighs.
He knew he wanted me to process what he was talking about and for me to decide what my actual final decision is.
He pats my hand and slides out of the booth, he stands up and begins to walk away, "Come on,"
I get up as well and follow him as we walk out of the restaurant and stand outside.
"The house is about five miles away. Just down here" Dad says as he points down the street to our right, "Hang a left at the gas station"
I nod and sigh, "I know how to get back,"
"Good," Dad says with a smile while he begins to walk towards the car, "Oh, hey quitter,"
I sigh at the nickname and look at him as he stands at the car door,
"Take your time, you have a lot of stuff to think about"
I watch as he nods a final time and gets into the car, he starts it and drives off in the direction towards home.
I rub my nose and look around. It was nearly getting dark.
I inhale and let out a deep exhale and turn towards the direction of the house. I begin walking while thinking back to everything.
'What about your future?' Coach Burns' question is the first that strucks me.
'Leah will do no good here. We just offer the main core classes, she needs more... Advanced studies'
I sighed and tied my hair up in a ponytail. I looked back and saw the sun starting to set. I wipe my nose and pick up my pace to a jog.
'It's your choice'
'It seems that Nonhyeon-dong has an excellent basketball program'
I furrowed my brows and picked up the pace again.
'Your mother would've wanted you to have this, regardless of the circumstances'
'I don't suppose college basketball is on your to-do list, right?'
'... You're gonna piss off the sport that you enjoy and trained so hard for, only to kiss it goodbye?'
'She wouldn't want you to throw away your talent and dreams'
'... just spend this last year in her memory'
'... do it for her, do it for your mother'
Tears of frustration started to well up in my eyes as I grunted and angrily wiped them away, picking my pace up to a sprint.
I ran down the sidewalk and saw the street that led towards my house. I gradually slow down until I'm walking again. I wipe my face and sigh.
"Smart school or public school" I ask myself, it seemed that my decision had already been made while I was running.
I step up to my front door and take a moment to breathe before I open it.
I walk in and take off my shoes, closing the door behind me.
"In here Leah," Dad calls out from down the hallway. I follow his voice and end up in his new home office.
I see that he held the latest book he has been reading to his chest and continued to read as I stood in front of him. He hums in acknowledgement but continues reading as I roll my eyes.
I clear my throat, "I've made my decision"
This catches his full attention as he abruptly looks at me and sets his book down.
"I will be going to the school you and my mother attended. I also plan to play my last year of basketball there as well. Not for you or anyone else... but for myself,"
He was impressed, and failed to not show it. He nodded maturely and cleared his throat as well, "That is a very wise decision" he says in his parent voice.
I nod once, "Thank you for the run, it was... much needed"
With that I begin to take my leave.
"I love you Leah!" Dad exclaims from his spot.
I don't give him the satisfaction of replying instantly, so I continue to stomp up the stairs. I stop at the top and smile when I hear his little huff.
"I love you too dad," I say loudly enough and walk into my room to prepare for my first day at my new school.