"I've got no choice but to agree with everyone, even if I don't want to..."
*
Do you know what's the worst thing about being alive? Being reminded that you shouldn't be.
That was my life. A living memory.
Bionics Pharmaceuticals may have been based in our small town and made it seem big, but it wasn't. Our population had few zeroes, and the number of people who moved in was less than that. Seven out of ten people knew me when I was alive. Seven out of ten people couldn't accept me in death.
Wendy was that exception. She came into my life after my creation, because the ones who'd requested me couldn't deal with my false life. But our introduction was perfect in Wendy's young mind, and after four years of living with our family, her love for me only grew.
I was her big brother, android or not. My unconventional immortality only made me the perfect Peter Pan in her eyes. And maybe it was because she saw herself as a real lost girl that she had created the fantasy. But who was I to take that from her?
It was nice to know that even in this state someone could love me.
Because everyone else gave up so easily.
"Can I have a peanut butter sandwich?" Wendy asked as we reached the walkway to our house. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at me. "I'm starving."
"Just peanut butter?" I laughed and shook my head. "No jelly?"
Wendy giggled, but before she could answer, we both looked at our front door. My laugh died instantly, my smile with it. Wendy, however, squealed in delight and rushed forward. Her small arms went around a part of my past that had let me go so fast, it hurt the most.
Mary.
Clearing my throat, I fixed my hoodie and hid my Bionics mark. "Hey, Mar," I said with a weak smile.
"Hi, Javi." Mary's smile was just like mine as she swooped down and lifted Wendy in her arms. She gave her the biggest hug, eyes still on me. "How are you?" she asked.
Her questions used to make me happy, made something react inside me. Because before I died, before her parents put in the request to rebuild me, she loved me more than anyone else in this world could.
And I know I loved her just as much.
Parts of me felt it, memories rekindled by electrical sparks in my computer systems. I'd look at her, her dark brown skin and long, curly hair, and just watch the memories we'd share pass over my eye, like movie reels rimmed with happiness. Mary had been the love of my life and knowing she couldn't live without me would make me feel special.
Now, I felt like that old toy you had in your childhood. The one rebranded and rebooted for a new generation. You buy it because it brought back memories from when you were young, happy. But then you realize it isn't the same, something's different, and it ends up in the back of your closet.
Ignored. Unwanted. And discarded.
"I'm fine." Pushing aside the sparks I called feelings, I stood straight and fixed my sleeves. "Just picked Wendy up from school. She wants a peanut butter sandwich."
"Just peanut butter?" Mary's eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled down at Wendy, placing her back down on her feet. When Wendy nodded, Mary laughed and shook her head. "You know, Javi used to eat his sandwiches like that."
Did I?
My hands pressed into my pockets as I walked towards them. Their outlines danced in my vision, almost merging, as I got closer.
"I know." Wendy nodded, tapping her ID band against our door. The front lock responded to the small, pink bracelet, and she opened it with ease. "That's why I like it."
I watched as Wendy went inside and I half expected Mary to go in with her. But when she didn't and looked at me instead, I froze. Confused. That feeling increased when she stepped down from the single-step and stood in front of me. Her curls blew in the wind. "How are you?" she asked again.
Analyzing data.
"What?" My brows shot up, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. "Are you asking me? Or are you asking the computers that power me?"
Mary's temperature spiked, but it always did. My sensors went nuts with her, detecting every emotional fluctuation she'd have. She was one of the two people who felt happiness, sadness, and anger all at once when looking at me.
My mother was the other.
"Your computers." Mary's honesty hit hard. I felt it before my systems could even attempt to process the information. "I'm here to screen you, but... I can't."
"Why?" My question was meant to be asked twice.
Why are you asking my computers... and not me?
Why can't you screen me like you're meant to do?
But Mary knew. She knew me better than anyone else. Lifting her chin, she pointed past me, behind me, and I followed the tip of her finger until I looked back at the road. I hadn't noticed her car parked just across the street. I also hadn't noticed her assistant bot, Rory, in the front seat with both of his hands on the steering wheel.
Seeing him, I smiled and waved. But he didn't wave back. And it hit me... I couldn't feel him, sync with him.
Every Bionics android shared data on sight, right?
Why aren't you syncing, Ror?
"There's a hiccup going around," Mary said as I stood straight and faced her car. I wanted to walk towards it and talk to him. But there was something about the look on his face, the color in his eyes. What was once bright, ocean blue was now... red.
Analyzing data.
Mary moved beside me. "I don't know if you've heard about it yet. It's on the news, but they aren't reporting it right... as usual." She sighed and shook her head. "There's an error somewhere in the main system affecting a lot of droids. Rory, too. Poor guy..."
When she said his name, Rory finally turned his head to look in our direction. I saw the corner of his lips lift, but it wasn't natural. It was robotic. Mechanical. And for Rory to be so... android... wasn't good. He was the reason I could exist.
The first android with a "Human Code." The first android who could think, react, feel.
A human... just like me.
I turned my head to ask Mary a question about it, but the second we locked eyes, it was as though she knew what I would say. "Dad's been trying to figure out the bug." She smiled. "But until then, we're checking on every droid in the city. Need to see who's affected and who's not."
"Right..." Pulling my hands from my pockets, I moved and faced her. With a weak smile, I moved one finger towards her face, her chin. She let me place it under her soft, warm skin, and when she looked up into my eyes, I held her gaze. Saw her emotions. And realized...
I shouldn't have done that. The letters in my vision went out of control.
Unable to process data.
"I needed to see if you're okay," Mary whispered, inching forward.
Inside the house, Wendy called for us. "Mary! Javi!"
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I whispered. "It's just a hiccup, right?"
We were close, too close. Her nose touched mine. Red brushed across her cheeks like paint on a canvas. And I admired the beauty, her art.
Her mouth parted, just a bit, and I felt her breath hit my lips. I did the same, pushing air out from my core and let its warmth touch her skin. But that warmth wasn't real heat, and a tightness gripped my chest.
My reaction was programmed, copied. I didn't need to breathe. That breath wasn't real.
I... wasn't real.
Error in battery levels detected.
Mary drew back, hands on her head. Taking in the biggest breath anyone ever could, she forced a smile on her face. The edges dipped. And a nervous laugh slipped past her lips. "I can't do the screening, because Rory's affected, too. And because of your layout, I need him... I can't compare sensors without a computer just like you."
"What?" I looked back at Rory and noticed he hadn't moved still, nor had he dropped that odd, eerie smile. The red in his eyes seemed to shimmer in a way that almost scared me. But I couldn't feel that way about my friend. I knew his loneliness, as he knew mine. "Will he be okay?"
Mary dropped her arms and shrugged. "I'm sure he will... I'm having him with me as a precaution," she said. "You know, just in case."
Just in case he attacked others, too?
I nodded, taking in what she'd said. "Can't you screen him manually?" I tried to smile. A hopeful look. "Or me?"
Will I attack people, Mar?
Her eyes darkened. My computers reacted as they should.
Sadness. Regret. Guilt.
My internal device latched onto those words.
And suddenly, I was the guilty one.
"I can't, and you know I can't. Just..." Mary glanced back through the open front door and heaved out the biggest sigh. I saw her eyes shimmer, but with tears.
Battery at ninety percent.
My hands balled into tight fists. "Mar..."
"Just have your parents call me, okay?" Mary stood in front of me before sidestepping off onto the lawn. "They have my number."
No, not this again.
I reached out to grab her, take her hand in mine, but she stepped back. With her head down, she avoided the look on my face; the sadness in my eyes. Swiftly, she side-stepped onto the front lawn before walking across the street. I watched her get into her car, power on the ignition. Not once did she look back at me to say goodbye.
Data saved.
"Javi!" Wendy stood at the door and leaned against its frame. Her smile dropped when I looked at her. "Where's Mary?" she asked. "Did she need to leave?"
"Yeah." There was one good thing about being an Android, just one. I couldn't dwell on emotions, because as real as they felt, they weren't. Just programmed reactions, internal sparks.
I pushed down my sadness and forced a smile. "She'll be back soon, okay?"
Wendy nodded and reached to grab my hand. When I took it, I turned her around once with a princess spin—quick enough to make her giggle—and asked, "So, how about that sandwich?"