THREE pairs of eyes stare my down the moment I take a seat in front of them, on my favourite couch in the house. The air was getting thick and I could see the looks of curiosity in their eyes. Was I finally testing my guts to tell them? By the looks of it, yes, but inside, I'm panicking and extremely overthinking about what they'd say in return.
A pair of huge expectant eyes meet mine. My 3 year-old little sister Hyekyung clambers off from my dad's arms and crawls to me on the other side, hugging my legs tightly.
"You do know I have a client waiting for me in half an hour, right?" dad mentions, eyes glancing at the clock on the wall.
"Well..." I hesitate to say, picking up Hyekyung from the floor to place her on my lap. The little girl plays with the buttons on my shirt, almost pulling one loose but I pull her chubby arms away just in time.
"Okay, uh, this was a week ago," I begin to explain, hugging Hyekyung tighter.
Mum pulls her hair back and pushes it to one side, resting her body on her elbows that are resting on her thighs. "Now you're worrying me, Shin," she tells me, "what's going on?"
Now, this may seem like something so easy to tell someone. Should I be excited to announce it to my family? Hell yes, this hopeless kid finally has a chance in love so who wouldn't be? However the pressure still lies heavily on my shoulders and it's as if they're putting chains on my tongue, not wanting it to say anything. Mentally slapping myself, I blink once more and finally take a breath.
Take a grip of yourself, you coward.
"A week ago? What happen week ago?" Hyekyung tilts her head up to look at me with her round eyes, speaking in her small voice.
"Yes, baby," I coo at her, not being able to resist her adorable voice. "A week ago."
"So a week ago," dad prompts, "what happened then?"
So I go on to tell them about waking up an hour too early than I usually do and how I went to the roastery near my apartment and Hyekyung comments on how she also wants a croissant. Mum tells her to be quiet so that I could resume on my story. And I tell them about Seonghwa and how we was sitting all by himself for a long while, how I went to accompany him and how I met San also.
Before continuing to the main part I wanted to tell them, I grit my teeth and brace myself.
"When they both went, I also went home," I tell them as I bounce Hyekyung up and down on my lap, "and uh..."
I chew on my bottom lip nervously, looking down to the carpet. I peer through the top of my lashes and see both my parents with the same calculating look on their faces, but soon I see mum catching up on where this was leading to.
I know she's trying to bite back her grin while dad is still as clueless as ever.
Sighing, I finally reveal it.
"I got my mark on Sunday."
Mum almost flies from her seat, giggling in excitement at my statement almost immediately after I spoke. Dad just seems shocked, blinking his eyes rapidly when he tries to process the news, and Hyekyung? Well, she just continues to mind her own business.
"Your mawk?" she asks, sounding completely unbothered still, "why you have mawk Shin-eonnie?"
"Because she's found her star partner, Hyekyung!" mum cheers as she answers for me, dancing around the living room with lighthearted steps, "the day I've been waiting for has come!"
"Will I have mawk too, mummy?" Hyekyung hops off my lap and joins mum, reaching out her hands for mum to hold and they both twirl around the room.
"Of course, Kyungie!"
"We should have a party!" she gasps, "how does that sound?" she asks Hyekyung with so much enthusiasm, and my little sister nods back with the same expression.
I choke. "Mum, that's too much," I tell her.
"Ooh, can I see his picture?" she asks excitedly, "he must be very handsome for my beautiful baby!" Mum goes on to pinch both of my cheeks.
This was the part I was worried about.
"Uh..."
"What are you waiting for, show us his picture!" dad urges me, almost as excited as mum who nods.
Cold sweat breaks through me and I make small patterns with my fingers on the leather of the couch, laughing nervously. "Thing is," I continue to say, "I don't know who it is."
Mum freezes and Hyekyung, who was previously dancing along with mum mirrors her actions once she's found that mum had stopped, confused. Dad tilts his head with as much perplexity.
"How do you not know?" dad asks, "it's your mark, why don't you know who it is?"
Sighing in frustration, I let myself fall back on the couch. "I don't know dad," I tell him, "I felt it after leaving the roastery, had I felt it right away I would know who it is."
"Does Yeosang know about this?" mum asks.
"Yeah," I answer, "I told him."
"You told him first!?" she exclaims in disbelief, "wha- why? We- we're your parents, Hyeshin!"
"I don't know," I wail and not realising that my voice raised high, "it was overwhelming, I guess."
"And I knew you'd ask me who it was and I was scared to tell you because I don't know who it is," I admit, letting my head fall and lowering my voice again, "because I know you'll worry about me, that what happened to Yeosang happened to me."
My vision suddenly turns blurry and I feel a pool of tears in the corners of my eyes. So I quickly wipe them away, scolding myself at being such a crybaby.
Suddenly, I feel Hyekyung climbing the the couch and she wraps her short arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder. "Eonnie don't cwy..." the little girl whispers with a pout, "eonnie cwy, Kyungie cwy too..."
Laughing, I hug her back. "No baby, I'm not crying," I reassure her. "It's okay."
Mum comes to sit next to me and rubs her hand on my back. "You're right," she tells me honestly, "I'm worried. But if that's what's meant to happen then let it happen."
"Besides, it's between those two, right?" she continues, "what are their names again? The two boys you met?"
"San and Seonghwa?"
"Yes, them two," mum smiles at me, "even if it's not either of them, you'll still be okay right? You won't die from not knowing who your star partner is."
"Why can't you just ask which of them has the mark too?" dad chimes in.
My face twists. "I can't do that!" I protest, "we just met a week ago!"
"And I've only met with Seonghwa like what, once, since then," I tell them.
"Okay," dad says, "thank you for telling us."
That night, I lay in my bed and try my best to close my eyes to let myself drift off to sleep, but they both spring back open as soon as I shut them. My room is dark and I focus on the glow-in-the-dark stars I stuck on the ceiling and I try to count them one by one but instead of making me feel sleepy, I start to get dizzy instead.
The situation leaves me to roll around in my bed, unlocking my phone every now and then to see if Yeosang had finished his studying and if he's arrived at home. Finding out that he hasn't even read the message, I groan and roll off my bed. They say a warm mug of milk helps right?
After heating up some milk in the microwave, I sit myself down on the kitchen chairs and blow off the steam carefully. The time is now almost midnight, the day in a few minutes will be another Sunday. Ideally, I should really use this time of being awake to be productive and finish my sketching homework due on Tuesday but do I really feel bothered?
There's a mental debate going on in my mind and my responsible ass won the argument, so after finishing the mug of milk, I head back inside my room and switch the lights back on then trudge to my desk. I unzip my bag that's lying on the floor, holding back a random yawn.
My sketchbook is now on the table, my desk lights are turned on but I only stare at it. Fumbling around with the cup of stationery I have on my table, I realise that my sketching pencil is missing so I lift up my bag and dig around to see if I have one spare drowned in there somewhere.
"Oh? What's this?" I mumble to myself, fishing out a crumpled piece of paper along with a wooden pencil.
Reading what's on there, my feet take me back to my bed and I reach for my phone. To be honest, I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm only doing it because it somehow feels right.
Though I did get a shock when Wooyoung replies almost immediately.
Jung Wooyoung
hi welcome to chili's
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damn guys look at me updating 2 books in one night woop woop!! this is fun actually, i'm almost back to the vibe like when i first started writing here and wow, it's like i forgot how fun it was being able to write ksjskjs