Queen Lauza offered us a day off after all the work we had been doing the past few days for the project and I found myself alone in my room, completely bored. Never had I thought I'd miss my courses, the busy schedule of the castle.
But I did have a lot of time to think everything through, prepare for the worst - being sent home. I even planned on sneaking some dresses out to sell in our village, several girls would kill for them. But I wouldn't part away from the suit from my presentation, the simple reminder of my victory the day before. And my failure to prove my point.
And then there was Wayne. The fight we had was awful, every single word still haunting my mind. I didn't even care anymore that he might not feel the same way as I, I was only hurting from missing my first true friend. He had been so helpful since now, supporting my decisions, being there when I needed him. Maybe my project wasn't as good as I thought if even he didn't like it.
I spent the day playing cards and dice with my maids, still, the day had gone so painfully slow, when night came I couldn't resist sneaking out. I missed the fresh air, the smell of the warm sand in the morning, the feel of the wind on my skin, the sound of birds flying past my head. My maids had left when dinner had arrived at my door and now I was feeling loneliness creep on me. I took a shawl and walked out only to find a guard posted next to my door.
''Did you need anything, my Lady?'' He asked and I smiled slightly.
''Hi Soldier Tegan, I was just going out for some fresh air.''
''I can't let you leave, my Lady.'' He said apologetically. I was almost surprised to find him so formal.
''What if you came with me? I won't make any attempts to leave.'' I teased and I could see the internal fight he was having.
''Where would you go?'' He asked cautiously.
''The gardens?'' I tried but he vigorously shook his head.
''No way.''
''Okay, okay. What about the front balcony?'' I remembered it as the previous Queen's favorite place.
'' I guess that would be alright.'' Even though I could sense him still hesitant, he looked at both sides of the hallway and then showed me the way.
We walked in silence as he led us to the front balcony. We had to take a flight of stairs to get higher and then make a lot of turns until we arrived in front of a huge door.
''I'll leave you to it, I'll wait here.'' He said and opened the door for me.
''Thank you.''
The night air welcomed me like an old friend, the stars above winking down at me. My breath caught in my throat when my eyes settled down. We could see the villages closer to us, lights lighting up the whole city. The trains were working, silently and efficiently, with only bright lights guiding their way. Everything seemed at peace, another world from the two I'd been leaving in. I let go of my Lady's behavior and leaned on the banister, staring out at the world.
How could a world so full of misery and hurt look peaceful? How could people sleep at night when they had the knowledge there is such a large amount of death in other places of the country? When people sacrificed their lives in order to keep them safe? What did those people do for the good of the country unless eat, drink and have a beautiful life?
The project of the former Queen was such a great idea, probably she never had the time to apply it though. King Philipps might have put an end to it before the announcement, keeping all the good food for the higher classes.
The door behind me opened and I turned around to see Queen Lauza walk forward. She was elegant, as always, and calm irradiated from her.
I hurried in a curtsy to her although I didn't want to. ''What are you doing here?'' The Queen wondered with a surprised tone. She clearly didn't expect anyone to come here.
''I needed some air.'' I confided as I got back up to meet her eyes. She gulped down, something flickering in her eyes. It took a moment to get the words out as she gaped at me.
''Well, I think it might be time for you to get back to your room, it's getting late and tomorrow is a big day.''
''Of course, Your Majesty.''
I was just about to leave her alone when she stopped me, ''Lady Kaelie.'' I turned my head to look at her but she didn't, her back facing me, ''Best of luck for tomorrow.''
I didn't know if this was some kind of threat or simply her being nice but I didn't say anything, unable to wrap my head around it.
Tegan escorted me back to my room in silence. I wanted to ask how was Wayne, if he had said anything but knew better. I had been warned about this behavior and I didn't want to hurt Wayne even more than I thought I already did.
I was surprised to find another guard by my door as we approached it, relief flooding through me when I realized who it was.
''You can go to sleep Tegan, I'll take it from here,'' Wayne told him and Tegan bowed to us before leaving us alone.
I stood there facing him, trying to find out what he thought. I heard him sigh and then he said, ''I'm sorry.''
''So am I,'' I replied and couldn't stop myself. I hugged him, the scary thought of losing him finally leaving me. He instantly hugged back, pressing me harder against his chest.
''No matter what I said, I wouldn't let anything happen to you.''
I breathed relief and stepped away from him with a smile on my face. ''So you will help me?''
The sparkle in his eyes stopped and he shook his head, ''I still won't help you for that. I still believe you shouldn't want anything to do with fighting.''
''Oh.'' I blinked at him, trying to erase the disbelief on my face, ''Even if that's what I want?''
''I want what's best for you, and that is your safety.''
Just like that, I felt miles away from Wayne although we were so close. I nodded once and tried to smile although I felt disconnected from him, disappointment engulfing me in a wave of solitude. ''I'll see you tomorrow then.''
''Sleep tight.''
With that, I opened my door and disappeared behind it, knowing very well he wouldn't follow me this time, his eyes telling me he was on the rational side tonight.
September 4
I had to do it.
''Good morning Darkovia, what a beautiful day for change. I apologize deeply for the rude end of the last show, we had some technical troubles.'' The King adjusted his suit, his eyes roaming the crowd, ''The projects the Ladies showed were all wonderful in their own way, all of them thought of something unique, something useful for you and our kingdom.''
''What happened to you the other day? Did he hurt you?'' Elizabeth whispered in my ear as she fidgeted, her hands playing with her dress. She looked on edge.
I took her hand but she jerked back before muttering sorry, ''It's fine, he didn't hurt me other than bruising my arm. I thought for a second he might kill me though.''
She let out a wry laugh, staring down at her hands, ''That's merciful.''
I couldn't ask what that meant as the King got an envelope out of his suit jacket, ''Now, I have the final vote for the project you decided to implant.'' He slowly unfolded the paper, drawing out the winner. I held my breath as he read, ''The project that will be established is the shelter for several families, from Lady Elizabeth. Please come forward!'' She gulped down and slowly walked to the front.
I applauded, glad my friend was the winner. This was a beautiful project that may help many.
As she came closer to the King, she still kept a reasonable distance between the both of them.
''Don't be shy my child.'' He gave her a sided hug as people applauded and took pictures of them, shaking hands. Just before she left, he whispered something in her ear and she nodded stiffly before coming back to us.
''As we counted all the votes, another project was very close to winning and we decided to give it a shot as well. You will soon see appear training rooms in every village and I encourage you deeply to use them. It will be authorized to all, women as well, as asked. Though, since we are so generous with that offer, we will ask a favor in return. Indeed, there will be two more drafts every year for the war.'' He put his hands behind his back, satisfied with himself as I simply glared at his head. This had never been the goal of my project. ''On that note, I will leave the Prince to reveal to you the next person to leave.''
In a way, I was glad I hadn't been called up on stage for people to see what I had done to them. On the other hand, I knew the King wanted to infuriate me by leaving me in the dark.
My eyes caught his face first, straight, devoid of any emotions. Prince Oliver stared at us all, one after the other. I couldn't figure out who would be next to leave unless me.
''Good morning everyone, I will be short. The next person I eliminate from this competition is Lady Dorothy. Thank you all.''
My mouth fell open as he passed us all and his gaze locked with mine. I didn't understand, wasn't she one of his top choices? Had she done something wrong the last couple of days?
''Maybe my project wasn't good enough.'' I heard her say further down the row of our chairs.
''It's alright, there will be a lot of men waiting for you back in your village, you know?'' Another girl said but I couldn't find the strength to watch her devastated face. I didn't even understand.
It took a while before every announcement from the host of the show was made - not to forget Contribution day tomorrow, the numerous names of the men we lost this past week against New Rampson, and the special program in two days about Dorothy's welcome home party in her village. My mind though was locked away in my room already, visualizing my suit in the wardrobe, waiting for me to use it finally.
When everyone got up and started to leave, I waved to the girls and ran to my room.
I didn't waste a second once I was in it, gathering my stuff and switching clothes for my suit.
''You can't go with your hair in your face,'' Hayz told me from the door. I jumped back, surprised by her sudden appearance.
''What are you doing here? You aren't here until the afternoon usually.''
''I needed to congratulate you after that win.''
''A win? They are asking even more people to go to war, this is barely a win.'' I spit, still furious as I tried fastening my suit.
''At least they will be prepared, there will be fewer deaths. Fewer people will go only to die.'' She tried and I laughed incredulously.
''Or fewer people will die by your hands. I did make this project so we could fight against rebels, against you.''
She looked around after shushing me, ''Keep it down, will you? And I told you this is for the right reasons, we don't kill for no reason. Anyway, most of the people would gladly get in our ranks instead of the King's so you're doing us a favor.''
''I have already trained with my hair down, it's no big deal.'' I changed the subject as she got closer, in no mood for another argument.
''Maybe but you're going there to fight with trained guards. The royal personal human shield is more evil and tricky than your relatives.''
''Than do what you must.'' I showed her my hair. She wasted no time to sit me down and twirl two strands of hair on each side of my head before simply tying it all together behind my head. ''Are you coming?''
''Of course, I wouldn't miss it. I won't train though, I'm scared my pride might blow off my cover.'' I agreed with that, knowing what pride could do and we both left in quest of the training room.
It was so strange being with Hayz these past few days. She was my friend since the beginning and I still saw her like that. Sometimes, it was easier to forget she was part of the rebellion and act like friends. With all the fights I had, I was glad we could continue being friends although we disagreed on something so huge.
The sounds hit me first, chills going down my arms. It had been such a long time I hadn't held a bow and arrow, my hands tingled at the memory.
We arrived at the room and as I was about to get in, a big guy blocked my way.
''I need to get in.'' I smiled sweetly up at him. No one would come between me and that room.
''There is no place for little girls like you.''
I narrowed my eyes at him, ''Step down soldier.''
His lips twitched, ''It's Colonel. And may I ask who you think you are?''
''Lady Kaelie. Now please, I'd like to get to my training.'' I pushed past him and entered to see every soldiers' eyes on me.
Wayne was the first I saw and he rolled his eyes. ''You aren't allowed here.''
''Then where am I supposed to train if not here?'' I retorted and I saw him deflate, understanding my project had won.
''She's right.'' Prince Oliver interjected from behind and walked past me and Hayz. ''Everyone puts a shirt on and you watch.'' He pointed at me at last but I was already shaking my head.
''I've done that enough. My maid Hayz though will love to watch.'' I walked towards the bows and arrows in the far corner but a stick stopped me.
''If you think I'll let you touch those killers, you are insane. Start with the stick.'' I looked up tired at Oliver but still took it, unable to step down from a challenge.
''And who would I fight?''
''Captain Wayne, here.'' He called out as he smirked. In the corner of my eyes, I saw the many men around starting to steal glances, interested in the fight coming. The colonel I had encountered leaned against the wall and watched cautiously. They probably were ready to mock me.
''Let's see what you can do.'' I turned around to watch Wayne twirl a stick around like I'd seen Oliver do. I moved a little the stick, checking the weight, the way it moved.
''Bet she played with one before.'' A guy laughed out loud and Wayne gave him a murderous glare. I used the distraction to hit his arm. He looked back surprised as I adjusted my hands the same way they all did when I watched.
He didn't wait a second then, trying hits after hits but they were all held back as I blocked them all, unless the last one. I flinched at the pain on my thigh but that only made me angrier. I started attacking as well, hits after hits just like he had just done, trying to find new angles to hit but he was quick to stop everything coming his way. He even stopped one and then hit me on the arm this time.
I had trouble controlling my impulses as I doubled my efforts, hitting more and quicker. As I was getting tired, I remembered Oliver's strategy from last time, the same Wayne was using now.
So I stopped immediately.
''Already tired?'' Wayne asked with a smirk.
He hit again and I blocked but now he wasn't careful, he was back to be the warrior he'd always been. One step, one hit. I had to walk backward, trying to keep my balance with every blow.
I realized he was backing me up on a wall and I did the only logical thing I'd do with my brother. I stopped his last hit with a hit of my stick, stronger than before which unsettled him, then dropped the stick and leaped forward, I collided with his middle, pushing us both to the floor. I retreated my fist about to punch but he caught it and flipped me around.
''Did you really think I would let you win?'' He asked with a devious smile, which only made me more furious. He shouldn't be smiling, he should be bleeding from my punch!
''Get off!'' I yelled and pushed him off, pouncing back on him. This time I got in a punch, barely getting all of my strength behind before he rolled us again.
''That's enough.'' The Prince called out in a bored tone.
''I think so too,'' Wayne said and let go of me as he got up. There were no traces of blood on his face, only some redness.
''I didn't say I was done,'' I called back with fire, my lungs asking for more air. My heart was pounding but I needed to prove something, I knew it.
''I don't think you'd be ready for someone else, Captain was very gentle.'' A man said with a mischievous smile.
Another one took a patronizing tone, ''Really my Lady, I think you'd be more comfortable in the kitchen.''
''I was getting a bit hungry.''
They continued making fun like that and I was fuming, only wanting to punch that man.
''What is it? Are you afraid I'd beat you?'' I threw back at the kitchen comment guy.
''Don't,'' Wayne interjected and he held his soldier's gaze.
''Is that how it's going to be?'' I yelled at everyone in the room. ''I have the right to fight, to learn. And you soldiers are out of line by taking away my rights.''
''Once again girl, who do you think-'' A man started.
''King's orders.'' I cut him off and his mouth closed as I narrowed my eyes. Everything fell silent around and I straightened back up. ''Now, who's next?''
As I examined the room around, I found the colonel smirking at me right before leaving the training room.