K
itty: Praise be to all the Unholy Orifices of the Unyielding Space Vagina, that this chapter is only five pages long.
Wesker: *stepping through her freshly spawned portal, looking ever so slightly perturbed. brushes dust off his shoulder* What's all this nonsense about The Device causing viruses?
Kitty: You tell me, Mister-I-Specialise-In-Mass-Destruction-Via-Bioweapons *claws at Nick's slumped body, perched atop his shoulder*
Wesker: *narrows his eyes at her* Even if it had anything to do with me - and it doesn't - you can consider it payback for subjecting me to The Mister.
Kitty: Oh yeah. Cuz rotting in Hell was a better use of your talents.
Nick: *the lights of his eyes flicker on, as he begins to reboot - shudders as he straightens his back, glancing around, confused*
Kitty: Ick! *flops off his shoulders*
Wesker: Speaking of Hell, what twaddle are we dealing with?
Kitty: We call it Gerg.
Nick: Or Onision.
Kitty: Or Wanker.
Wesker: Will I being requiring--
Kitty: Substances? Yes.
Nick: No!
Kitty: Aha, it speaks! How was that Hard Reboot?
Nick: Rough. Where's Hancock?
Kitty: The bitch bailed. And I thought it may be best to introduce you to my lil friend; Bravo. Bravo, Nick *gestures her paws between the two*
Wesker: *nods, inspecting the robot* Flawed infrastructure. Weakened by unoriginal human-like physiology.
Nick: Uh... Thanks?
Wesker: *turns on Kitty* Why d'you waste my time with this?
Kitty: Cuz... I like it when you do things to me.
Wesker: *arcs a brow, skeptical*
Nick: It's more likely because, despite being short, it's extremely presumptuous and filled with more teen angst than an episode of Gossip Girl.
Kitty: *gapes at him, her lower lip trembling as tears of joy fill her eyes* He... He knows references. This must be how the Virgin Mary felt *wipes away a tear* I am so proud of you.
Nick: *scratches his neck, where she'd implanted The Device, as his memories filtered back to him* Did I really turn violent? Over a hug?
Wesker: It was a fitting distraction. My alarms were going off as this one *nods towards Kitty* was plotting to Furrsplode another city off the map. Incidentally, which one were you targeting this time?
Kitty: Tokyo. Had some bad sushi the other night. Some place called Suk Mi *grimaces, shaking her head* Never again. It was like Bangkok's gay lil brother. Wanted to jam my chopsticks up the waitress' nose.
Nick: In any case, I apologize for my actions, I uh... I don't remember ever becoming so...
Wesker: Enraged beyond reason? *going over the incoherent scribbled notes on Kitty's "Chart"* If I'm reading this correctly, a feeble specimen named Abbigale confessed to being a punching bag, and her rebound's response was to tell her "ur gorgeous, doe."
Nick: *goes silent, looking ashamed as he stubbornly picked lint out of his robotic digits*
Kitty: Somethin' like that. I have imbide-d enough alcohol since for it to become mildly tolerable. Can't speak for the good detective, though.
Nick: *gnaws on his bottom lip, more haunted by his loss of control than the anger surging through him*
Kitty: Aw, Nick. I forgive you *jumps up onto his lap and curls up* You may pet me precisely two times. I am told that it is quite soothing. Although, anymore than that, and I am instructed to maul the shit outta you.
Nick: *looking more puzzled by her presence than anything, he tentatively begins petting her behind her ear*
Kitty: *purrs and melts against his touch*
Wesker: *finishes skim-reading* Half the chapter can be summed up as a needlessly detailed nightmare that I suspect is meant to hint at something that we already know.
Nick: Y'mean Abbi's victim status?
Wesker: *nods, flicking through the remaining pages with the same enthusiasm one would reserve for going through decor catalogs for one's own funeral* The next quarter is about a letter, and the last segment is Abbi's response to said letter.
Kitty: It is purrhaps the closest thing to a realistic human response to anything that goes on in this book.
Nick: So, what're we waiting for? Let's dive in.
Briefly after I fell asleep that night I had a dream about Abbi,
Kitty: Please Gawd, it better not be a spuff dream.
Wesker: After the amount of wank you subjected me to in The Mister... *glares at her*
Kitty: *glares right back*
it was the first dream I had experienced in some time.
Kitty: That whole paragraph was one sentence long. And the second half had very little to do with the first.
Nick: I think it's only fair...
Editor SOS: 182 [1 count for sentence fragment]
I'm not normally the type of person to be deeply impacted by dreams
Kitty: [As James] But watch as I become completely unhinged and start spamming this girl with my insipid presumptuous shit-talking rhetoric!
as more often than not I can control them. I can recognize the fact that I'm in a dream and twist things around so that whatever is making me afraid becomes afraid of me.
Nick: We call this lucid dreaming. It is very common, Greg.
Kitty: Nah, fam. Apparently, it's super rare and he's sooo speshful cuz he can turn a nightmare into a revenge fuck dream. Or somethin' like that - I stopped paying attention, and started a fantasy of my own. I'm currently imagining me, Wesker and a crate of vodka going on a roadtrip to Detroit armed with an Auto 9 wherein we shall do battle with a robot dragon, and have all the crazy hot sex.
Wesker: I have to admit, that is infinitely more interesting than what we're about to read - if only because yours truly would be involved.
Kitty: Well, naturally.
Nick: *sighs* Greg, once again spoils the plot of his own story.
This tactic however could not possibly work in this soon-to-be nightmare, as there was no living monster waiting around the corner.
Wesker: What a shame.
Kitty: Feh. When Gerg turns a corner and sees this;
Cuz fuck yew.
Nick: Given his current circumstances, I think this would be a more common occurrence in his dreams;
Wesker: Hah!
There was no emotion in this machine that was about to reveal itself to me. [minor snip] I was just a helpless spectator in my own mind.
Kitty: Remember this line, because Greg wont.
Wesker: Speaking of contradictions...
The dream began without any sound; only a deep hum
Nick: Which is a type of sound.
Editor SOS: 183 [1 count for just... dumb]
Wesker: He could've described it as vibrations instead.
Kitty: Given the nature of this author's uh... fantasies, shall we say, I do not like the thought of him using that word. After all, he has a Hatachi wand, duntyaknow...
Nick: *snorts* I like to think us real men don't need such fancy toys to satisfy, uh... *notices Kitty's doe-eyed look* a, uh... a woman.
Wesker: *skeptical glance at him*
Kitty: *shrugs it off* True, but you probably have built-in speed settings, or somethin'... Hey, Nick, would you do me a favor and tie a knot in this cherry stem with your tongue?
Nick: *giving her a dirty look - promptly stops scratching her ear*
accompanying what appeared to be Abbi laughing in a field of what looked like gray grass from a far.
Wesker: I wonder what a far is, and how does it make fields of grey grass?
Kitty: Dunno and I don't care.
As my view of her revealed more detail I began to realize that what I thought was grass was actually long slender claws.
Kitty:
Experiencing a more alarmed spectrum of emotion,
Nick: Y'mean that emotion you claimed was absent from this dream?
Kitty: I'm more surprised that he recognizes it at all, given his previous statements about how "[he] had remained emotionally unexplored."
Nick: One could argue that this dream is his first step to realizing what it's like to experience loss, tragedy or pain.
Kitty: You'd think - but no. In fact, I don't think he ever acknowledges this dream beyond him dealing with the resulting fallout from Abbi having a semi-sensible reaction to his fuckin' dumbass response. Seriously, there's being a socially awkward tool, and then there's this.
the audible hum
Kitty: *eye twitches* As opposed to the silent humming you mentioned earlier.
Wesker: *flicking through the previous chapters* Hang on. This was edited?
Kitty: *sulking into a White Russian - groans* Don't remind me.
cut out and was replaced by Abbi's screams.
Wesker: Bit of a delayed reaction to being in this tripe, but I'd expect nothing less from a squishy mortal.
Kitty: If you keep saying such sweet nothings, I will shove a ball gag in your mouth!
Nick: James is overwhelmed by her screams.
Kitty: *at Wesker* And no, not in the sexy way. That comes later.
Wesker: Unlike our narrator *smug*
She was not forming any words in her screams and I began to understand why the more I analyzed every detail.
Mystic Greg: 29
Kitty: I empathize - I too, often have no words for this fetid pile of fewmets.
Nick: Our narrator essentially shifts the camera - I thought he wasn't in control of this dream - so that he's looking down on the girl.
Wesker: Freudian slip?
Nick: Likely.
Kitty: The claws begin to pull Abbi into the ground... okay.
She showed no resistance to being dragged into the ground, she didn't even cry for help, she would only scream in pain as she slowly sank beneath the surface.
Kitty: *hisses as she begins to claw at Nick's knees, her body tensing*
Wesker: Because she's a helpless wittle wimmuns, y'see.
Kitty: Gave you a good smack...
[minor snip]
It's hard to explain, but in her eyes I could see that she didn't want to be saved as she genuinely felt she had earned the suffering she was enduring. She believed she deserved to be ground up until there was nothing left.
Nick: *his fists clench involuntarily*
Mystic Greg: 31
Kitty: Y'know, this whole spiel... It could've been halfway decent if say, he tied it into reality in a non-contrived way that didn't make James out to be this irrational emo-tastic brat. I mean, we already know that Abbi is a victim of domestic abuse at the very least. My question is, where is the connection between this surreal depiction of her Inner Payne™ and her real life struggles? Where is he getting this assumption that she wants to suffer? And how the fuck does he think it's fair of him to go around making declarations to her like a nosy lil maggot?!
Nick: *finally manages to reign himself in, distracting himself with tightening up the bolts in his metallic hand, idly wishing he had his mechanic friend nearby* I disagree. I don't think that there is anyway you could excuse this misogynistic prick for parading around like he's a White Knight come to liberate the poor damsel with the aid of Excalibur.
Kitty: *mumbles* If by "Excalibur" y'mean little Greg...
Wesker: Surmising the next paragraph; she goes under as James is "finally given a physical form," he drops to his knees and begins digging in the dirt to get to her.
Kitty: Fuck me, Greg. I was joking about her being his Smacky Crack!
Wesker: The ground then rips open, but James manages to evade it *sour look*
Kitty: Ye-no.
Wesker: And people think I'm overpowered.
Kitty: Bitch, do I need to bring up the Old Spice advert? Because I will!
A deep canyon began to form central to where I had begun digging. [snip] Ripping and screeching sounds erupted all around me as the earth divided before me at a now crippling rate.
Kitty: *yawns*
Wesker: *taking a swig of whiskey from a hidden flask; swiftly slips it back into one of his ammo pouches*
A hellish sight consumed my eyes as I looked down on the collapsing landmass below. Powerful machines wielding massive blades swung violently scraping dirt and rock with a sound so tremendous I could only faintly hear the screams of countless desperate humans below.
Kitty: *monotone* O woe; it is Hell... If Hell were being depicted by the makers of Chicken Run.
Nick: Wait a tick... What has all those peoples' suffering got to do with anything?
Kitty: I told you. It is Hell. No, seriously. Lookit this shit.
I quickly realized the terrified voices beyond the ripping blades were no illusion. Thousands of lives were being devoured in piles, no person among them begging for life rather, like Abbi, they screamed only from pain delivered not just by the roaring blades and gears, but their very existence itself. Suffering & consciousness had become one in the same.
Nick: What suffering?! You've given no details beyond people screaming, there were blades and gears doing... something.
Wesker: And there was pain.
Nick: What pain?!
Kitty: *shrugs* It goes without saying that I'm in more agony from yet another incorrect usage of ampersands, than the utterly pussified depiction of my motherland.
Editor SOS: 184 [1 count for ampersands]
Wesker: As a former resident of Hell, this portrayal is beyond underwhelming.
Nick: Annnd the dream ends. James is left feeling "changed."
I felt something inside me change, almost as if I had seen something I was never meant to
Kitty: He'd been given access to Onion's thinly veiled scribblings that he laughably likes to call A Plot Summary.
Nick: Y'reckon this was meant to be more of Greg's subtle foreshadowing?
Wesker: It may have been intended to set up some drawn-out metaphor, but given that we already know what Abbi's main issues is--
Kitty: -- her being treated like a sack of tenderized meat.
Wesker: *continues* it makes the impact of this dream somewhat lessened.
Kitty: If it is meant to be some form of writing troupe, it's half-baked and adds fuckall to the story. I'd call it pointless fluff.
and now had to find a way to lose the thick cloud freshly looming over my head.
Nick: Take a walk.
Kitty: 'Ave a wank!
Wesker: Shoot yourself.
Kitty: Whatever you do, for the love of all that is good and unholy just shut the fuck up and stop victimizing your lust object!
It is as I said briefly before,
Nick: So why are you repeating it?
Kitty & Wesker:
Kitty: Or he assumes his audience has the attenshun span of a goldfish. Purrhaps that's why he thinks he can get away with revisionist history with his YT career.
I feel like a visitor here, like I'm in this world but not a part of it like everyone else.
Wesker:
Nick: *scoffs, sarcastically* Oh, y'think?
I study people and situations to find out how they work and sometimes my dreams fill in the emotions and thoughts I missed while I was awake.
Kitty: *head in paws* Alright, how the fuck does that work, Greg? You can perform your Mystic Greg powers, once you're asleep and only if you have rare non-lucid dreams wherein your brain magically tells you what you missed? How the fuck does any of that explain your ability to mind read and tell what complete strangers are feeling? Whilst claiming that they're too dense to be privy to their own thoughts or feelings cuz "duh, thinking is hard!"
Wesker: Because only James is capable of self-reflection.
Nick: Unless, hear me out, crazy idea incoming here *feigns a cough* What if, it were maybe, just maybe, a whole load of steaming bull?
Wesker: I second that *turns to Kitty* I wouldn't try to apply logic to this cretin, Furrball.
Kitty: *grumbles* Fine! I'll just slap it with a few counts.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 50 [1 count for acting like he's special for being able to have lucid dream; & 1 count for thinking his dreams have meaning beyond being his brain's way of processing information]
Nick: We get another random font decrease. This time it's only for half a sentence.
Kitty: *eye twitches as she continues to claw Nick's pants* Hissssssss.
Editor SOS: 185 [1 count for font]
Not having to go to school that day due to my suspension I decided to write a letter to Abbi.
Nick: He means an email.
Wesker: Odd that his family are too poor to afford cell phones, but not a computer.
Kitty: *steeples her claws* This letter... it is a true masterpiece of cringe-worthy piss-with-ink. I would love to post it all in its entirety and just let you folks marvel in its' utter vomit-inducing wanktasticness, but there is just... there is so much fail right here that I have to dissect it.
Wesker: *sinister smirk* Let us begin.
[A/N Real quick; Gerg, you coulda used italics to separate this pre-pubescent prose instead of enclosing the whole thing in quotation marks. Even most fanfics authors understand this basic method to differentiate texts within their work. As such, I'm awarding this twaddle 1 Editor SOS count per paragraph... because fuck you. Not reading a book in fifteen years is no excuse, ya hack!]
"When I look into your eyes... I at times feel a level of sadness I have never felt,
Kitty: [As James] That could, of course, just be my own reflection but whatevz."
as if we, despite barely knowing each other, have been apart for far too long.
Nick: I wonder if that's a blatant reference to Mrs. Stanley's "two shall become one," line.
Wesker: Co-dependency: the new romance!
Kitty: *growls* And people wonder why I'd rather commit myself to self-induced masochism if that is the standard folks are held to.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 51 [1 count for just the sheer dickotry required to assume that these chicks have nothing better to do than pine after his impotent cock]
Wesker: I don't wonder - but then, I know you're a filthy, depraved, little deviant.
Kitty: *purrs* Love you, too, Bravo.
Wesker: *backhands her off her stool*
When I talk to you it is like I am listening to a voice I've ached for yet haven't heard in a lifetime.
Nick: For a heartfelt love-note, he sure does go on about himself an awful lot.
Wesker: Feh. Hardly anything noteworthy about this monotonous twit.
Kitty: *rubbing her cheek* Shut up before you gimme a lady-boner! *climbs back onto her stool* Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, Gerg, why didn't you just cut out the middle man and send her the rest of Sting's work?
Every other experience I have with you seems familiar but at the same time, it hurts, like you would feel if you begged for something and only received it when you had already given up hope.
Wesker: *slowly nods* Right, we call that cock-teasing.
Kitty: And some are into it. Really into it *pointed look at the detective*
Nick: *looking scandalized* I...Bwu--what?
Kitty: *ignores him* Also, quit acting like a cuck, Greg! I know the bitch has been single for a whole day, but maybe she needs some time to figure things out?
Nick: But by then her bruises might've faded and we can't have that. Best try to get in her pants before she recovers her senses.
Wesker: What sense? She thinks that this spineless imbecile is a good role model.
Nick: *focuses on the last bit* Once again, he presumes that he's "receiving" something from her. Totally not gunna make her feel pressured, or like she's just a piece of meat.
Kitty: All I'm thinking is the cookie analogy Gerg likes to use when he talks about what it means to manipulate people into giving him what he wants. Mostly by the language he uses to describe his feelings towards her; begged. He's acting like he was begging her to give him a chance, when in reality, he already knew that she was taken, and that she mostly reached out to him, probably so she'd have a rebound when she chose to cut ties with Seth.
Need I remind you, that in his own words, he barely knows her!
I can count the amount of times they talked before this! D'you wanna know how many?
Four. Four! FOUR-MOTHER-FUCKING-TIMES! That we've seen, anyway. And what has James learnt about her within that time? That she wanted to be seated away from Jason, that she has a hamster cage sans hamster, O and she hates violence - mostly because she's a fucking victim of domestic violence! *flails her fists in fury*
What about any of those exchanges makes you think that these feelings are reciprocated? And that it's in any way appropriate to start pushing things with this girl, when she's already demonstrated to be emotionally vulnerable? You trying to initiate things now is like a fisherman trying to lure in an easy catch that ain't gunna fight back!
Wesker: Speaking of fish, she'd probably offer it to anyone on a platter - to spite Seth, if nothing else. *snark*
Kitty: Shut up! He's trying to test the waters, as if he's trying to see just how vulnerable she is, so that he can look for a way to exploit her! Mostly by trying to butter her up, so that she looks at him and goes "Aww, look how sweet and sensitive, totally not like my abusive ex!" It's called letting your guard down, and people tend to do that when they wanna make friends!
Nick: Assuming she really is that needy.
Wesker: And stupid.
Kitty: *continues to flail like Robin Williams on crack* It'd be like hitting on an inpatient in a Cancer Ward! And telling them that if only they sucked your dick would their cancer be cured!
Basically, this is Gerg right now:
Presumptuous dickhead...
These feelings are all so strange
Nick: Perhaps for normal people, yes.
Kitty: *trying to calm herself after her lengthy rant* I thought the weasel said he didn't do the whole "feelings" thing.
and evolving at a rate that scares me as they are for someone I am only just now truly getting to know.
Kitty: O you thought that was so good you had to repeat it? O that's great! Fuckin' beautiful! Allow me to retort *ahem*
*double flipping him off*
Nick: I'm just chuckling because as if he's scared of that!
Wesker: Just to be sure; he's counting on it being a fast process. The less time she has to think things through, the better.
Nick: Indeed. Proper frog in the pan moment.
Even with my brief presence in your life I've picked up on so much suffering and almost feel powerless to create any change.
Wesker: Why? Because the moron with no standards wont immediately stumble into bed with you?
Nick: *skimming through the last chapter* Interesting how he remarks feeling powerless once again, despite the main obstacle (Seth) having been removed from the equation. My only guess is that in this instance, he only feels powerless because she hasn't started making moon eyes at him yet.
Kitty: It's more likely because she hasn't taken the steps into giving him power over her. Because why wouldn't she want to sit on this face.
Wesker: *manages to repress an unexpected rising of bile in his throat*
There are so many wounds, so many scars, so much I only know enough about to fear.
Kitty: *barely containing her rage, clawing at her own flesh as she takes a deep breath* We know she has scars, Greg. You kinda showed us that last chapter. If you're trying to be metaphorical here, you can shove it, because saying this to someone whom has confided in you about their being abused, this comes off as not only insensitive, but can be triggering for them.
Basically, you're reminding them of their trauma, and whether they've come to accept it or not, this is going to make them feel guilty and possibly make them feel worthless. Like they are nothing more than a culmination of all the bad things that they've endured. You dehumanize them, essentially. You make it seem like she is defined by her experiences (understandable given that what little she has shared with you, has been this incredibly personal and difficult subject - and yes, I am doubtful that any abuse victim would randomly confess this out of the blue, just because of some fake, bs "deep" emo line about how "makeup just masks us from teh imperfections of da real world, bro.")
Nick: The last part is what gets me; "I only know enough about to fear."
Kitty: Smooth.
Nick: Are you trying to make her feel like a pariah? Over something that she had no control over?
Wesker: Fool. She apparently had enough control of the situation to dump the slimey bastard.
Kitty: Which is yet more evidence that Onion doesn't understand how abusers work.
Nick: Ironically.
The Salty Soapbox: 18 [1 count for blatant lack of understanding / playing dumb to alleviate aledged accusations]
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 52 [1 count for undermining victims for abuse claiming that their experiences are something to be feared]
I'm trying to understand.
Kitty: Gerg, your protagonist has about as much empathy as a mother arachnid.
Nick: As is proven by this next bit.
Abbi, you have more pain in your life than I can imagine. I hear it in your voice, I see it in your eyes and in the way you move. I just want to see you smile without there being an ocean wall of tears behind your eyes.
Mystic Greg: 32
Wesker: [As James] *wielding a pen-knife* So here, let me carve a smile into your face!
Kitty: Pfft. Y'think that's a knife? *produces a machete from betwix her cleavage* This is a knoife!
Nick: *attempting to comprehend the logistics; then blusters* Woah, there are way too many blades in play right now!
Kitty & Wesker: *share a knowing look as they eye up the detective*
Nick: *folds his arms and does his annoying "don't you dare fuck with me," dad-look* Are you both really that desperate for a distraction?
Kitty: *purrs and begins head-butting his knee* Depends what kind've distraction?
Nick: *delicately nudges her away, looking deeply disturbed* Not that kind.
Kitty: *visibly deflates* Fine, I guess that means I ought to address the bullshitting Mystic Greg, which by the way @Onision, methinks there may be a smudge of dirt on your Divine Crystal Ball of Faxx, because we have seen fuckall evidence that suggests she's so riddled with grief. It's clear that she takes great pains to hide it, hence y'know, the unrealistic levels of commitment to ensuring that no one sees her bruises. Which, will make even less sense later on, believe me.
Nick: Aside from her contrived and overly dramatic, hell let's call it what it is, staged reveal of her bruises, we have seen almost no other evidence that she's demonstrated to him of this alleged "sadness." One might even call it, presumptuous.
Wesker: I feel like that really is the buzzword for this rancid ringworm.
Kitty: *somewhat dumbfounded* Seriously, the only other instances I can think of are her dad not buying her a hamster to go with her hamster cage (which was undermined by her introducing that tidbit by smiling and acting like it was a quirky lil in-joke) and her breaking up with Seth - which was portrayed as a good thing, especially from what we're led to believe about him, namely that he's a violent thug. So... *throws her paws up* I dunno what you want me to say - this girl is so reactionary I can only assume that she's not meant to have a personality of her own. Because apparently doing so will contradict our narrator's powers of mysticism.
Nick: It's more likely that any personality would simply make them incompatible. He is a self-confessed sociopath, after all.
Wesker: One can only hope that the foolish girl grows a spine and tells him to beat it.
Nick: On paper, I suppose this sentiment would seem... Sorta sweet, as in "oh look at how worried he is over lil ol' me, isn't that nice." IF they were friends, IF they knew each other or had feelings for each other that went beyond whiny teenage infatuation.
Kitty: More importantly, if there were a well-established degree of trust that had formed between them. And no, James happening to be present for emotional support when she decided to dump Seth (almost on a whim) does NOT cut it!
Wesker: And let's face it, the only reason he was there was due to his stalking her.
Kitty: One last thing @Onision, you realize that it's ok to be sad, right? Especially, y'know. When you're a vulnerable, angsty teenager that has to deal with the bullshit stresses of high school, working on an unknown future, whilst in a toxic relationship and having little to no support from friends or family. It's kind've to be expected from these fleshy things we call humans.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 53 [1 count for expecting an abuse victim to not be sad about the fact that they've been abused... and expecting them to hurry up and get over it because goddamn, he can't remember the last time he got his rocks off]
I want to hear everything you have to say.
Nick: It's a shame that we will never be privy to anything she has to say. Well...
Kitty: Anything that might be indicative of individualism, anyway. I mean, we'll get told about random conversations, but we get fuckall details beyond that.
I want to find a way to heal the damage done until you can forget it ever existed."
Kitty: Fun fact, Gerg. Forgetting something like this is nigh impossible, unless you undergo severe drug and therapy treatment and even then, you're likely to focus on the root causes of your own emotions and learn how to deal with your issues in a productive way. You tend not to forget that kinda shit, especially when folks often have to get a second mortgage just to keep up with therapy payments.
In my case, I refuse to forget because I wear my suffering like a badge of honor as if to say "yeah, I went through some fucked up shit, but lookit me and how I refuse to let it get the better of me." I'm aware that things like mental illness are difficult to cope with, as it's literally your brain chemistry that's fucked, but even so people find a way to live with it and look for ways to become positive, even if it seems like there is no hope.
Then again, I'm the kind of nihilistic cunt that seems to garner borderline-psychotic joy from suffering, including my own. So maybe I'm not the ideal - but at least I don't rely on something as vestigial as my lust-object's cock to cure my depression!
Wesker: *sneers* I can assure you, I am fully functional.
Kitty: I wasn't talking about you *flirty wink at Nick*
Nick: *shifts in his seat, insecure about his... deficiencies* It's a good thing that you don't, because with talk like that, I'm surprised you ever get laid.
Kitty: *pouts* Most enjoy the struggle before the snuggle *equally suggestive look at Wesker*
Wesker:
Editor SOS: 191 [6 counts for incorrect use of quotations / lack of italicized or correctly formatted text in order to indicate the email as separate from the rest of the prose]
I sent the letter to her email address,
Nick: Which I suppose he got from the surveillance he's set up at her house by now.
Wesker: Hey, sociopaths are allowed to have hobbies, too. What else d'you expect him to do whilst he's suspended?
Kitty: This...
Also, Greg if you're sending it to her email address, then guess what, it's no longer a letter. It's a fucking email!
Editor SOS: 192 [1 count for dumb]
moments later the phone rang.
Nick: It's Abbi.
Kitty: What a fucking coincidence!
"Hey, can you meet me at the Quick Shop?" she asked.
Kitty: [As Abbi] I need me some o' them Dracula's Teabags cuz Auntie Flow is comin' to visit this weekend and man, is she a bitch!
I responded, "Did you see my email?"
Wesker: *facepalm*
Kitty: *headdesk*
Nick: Take the hint, kid! Is your ego so fragile that you insist she waste her time with your soppy shit?
Kitty: *groans* Pointlessness of this exchange aside, wouldn't it be better if Gerg had taken the key points from that "letter" and converted into a face to face conversation? That way Abbi could have a voice, and we could be spared the fuckin' melodramatic word-salad in the next chapter?
Wesker: What you mean is, there would be less of this for you to read.
Kitty: Right!
Wesker: *shrugs* Can't argue with that.
Nick: Abbi responds with a question - and it's a fairly sensible one, partly because it mirrors what you, a rational person, would do.
she replied "Nope, why didn't you just call?"
I said, "It would've been really hard to say over the phone, I had to find the words."
Wesker: [As James] Cuz duh, thinking is hard!
Kitty: [As James] Because talking over the phone is so retro, dude! And how else am I meant to manipulate you with my simple awkward text rather than allow you the privilege of hearing the fluctuating inflection in my voice? If I afforded you that luxury, you might figure out that I have all the sincerity of a politician during election year.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 54 [1 count for being a manipulative sonovabitch]
Nick: Which reminds me, according to my research, this "letter" he wrote was a copy and pasted email that he allegedly sent to one of his exes / potential crush when he was in high school. And if that's aha, if that's the-- *can no longer contain his laughter as he clutches his sides and slumps forward, shaking from the gut-heaving chuckles*
Kitty: *eyes widen at him, alarmed* Oh my god, I think we've broken him.
Wesker: *casually inspecting his nails* Why am I not surprised.
Nick: *waves his hand as he tries to steady himself* I, uh... I just have no other response to this sick bastard! I... He's just so... pathetic! That he has to resort to such snidey tactics and all the while acting like this is the ultimate romance I mean, it'd be like if I started pitying you because of your, uh...
Wesker: Blatantly repressed sexual frustrations.
Nick: *clears his throat, his smile rapidly fading, watching her warily* Yeah... That.
Kitty: *beams at him* Yes, well. In spite of your pretty face, Valentine, I don't accept pity fucks. I will, however, let you choke me.
Nick: No! I thought we'd been over this!
Kitty: You said no slapping! Never said anything about no cho--
Wesker: *clutches her throat, lifting her off the floor and squeezes until her eyes bulge*
Kitty: *her tail coils deliciously as she squirms in delight, her claws digging into the webbing on his hands*
Wesker: *recoils as if he'd been burned, dropping her and wincing* Shit...
Kitty: *coughs as she regains control of her windpipe, she glares at him, wheezing* Dick.
Wesker: Bitch
Kitty: Git!
Wesker: Cunt!
Kitty: Faggot!
Wesker: Whore!
Kitty: *jumps to her feet, pounces onto his chest, clawing his shirt as she headbutts him*
Wesker: *slaps her right back as the pair quickly descend into mindless brawling*
Nick: *smiles amused by their antics, shaking his head, then notices the spork had conveniently been abandoned in favor of a more thrilling courtship. sighs as he takes over* Abbi tells him she'll read the email then head over to meet him. And because someone forgot, I'll add in the format counts...
Editor SOS: 199 [5 counts for formatting; & 2 counts for lack of capitalization]
Nick: *ducks as a glass bottle is thrown across the room; continues* James skates over to meet her after "[he] got dressed" and now I'm left with the horrible image of this kid whacking off whilst he typed that spiel *shudders*
I arrived quickly, thanks to what seemed to be a record speed for me. However once I arrived I found myself waiting for someone who now had no intention of meeting me.
Mystic Greg: 33
Nick: Because's there's no possible way that she could be running late.
Wesker & Kitty: *flop into a sweaty, bloodied and bruised mass on the floor, panting*
Nick: Got it outta your system? Whatever the hell that was.
Wesker & Kitty: *vague mumbling and half-assed gestures that are meant to indicate "yes"*
Nick: Good.
Kitty: *crawls off Wesker's chest and stumbles back onto her bar stool, clicking her neck and pressing her jaw back into place - spits up blood*Just wanted to add that you can hardly blame the bitch for not wanting to show up to spend time with some condescending prick that starts proclaiming he knows how you feel better than you do. If I were in her shoes, Kitty'd skin him alive and flambe his testicles for a particularly irate grizzly.
Wesker: Even if she couldn't see through his insultingly patronizing charade, surely she'd have enough sense to realize that the only reason this kid is making the effort to be all sensitive is because he knows that she's vulnerable after dumping her boyfriend, and what she's disclosed about their relationship. James'... for lack of a better word "courtship" is so transparent I'm hardly surprised that she doesn't show.
Nick: That could be due to the fact that you're sensible... *watching as Wesker wipes blood off his lip with the back of his hand* ... ish.
Kitty: C'mon lads, we've just got a few more paragraphs to go! Once we do this, me and you can go back to maiming each other.
Wesker: Sounds like a plan to me.
I could only assume I had just made myself look like a huge jerk to her. I attempted to call her from the nearby payphone and she didn't answer.
Kitty: *fills her lungs, chokes on a slither of blood, then coughs and tries again* Kitty Karaoke™, Bitches!
Nick: James starts to obsess over his love note, blaming himself for her detachment. Wow. Humility? I'm shocked!
Kitty: It's more his word choice that bothers me, saying that he "must have dug too deep too fast." No shit, Sherlock.
I scared her away because I reacted on the emotions I experienced in that dream before actually considering the human being on the other side of the letter.
Kitty: Ah. So not humility then. It was obviously his dream's fault for reacting like a spazz. Cuz it was obviously his sleepwalking dream-hand that made him put a gun to his head and type that whole load of bollocks and then hit send.
Wesker: You give him far too much credit - I suspect he was too dumb and full of cum that he wrote that shit with his dick.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 55 [1 count for shifting blame onto something else that was still within his sphere of self-control in order to avoid repercussions for his dick-like behavior]
Kitty: Oh, and thanks for pelting me with more dead fish, Greg *slaps an ice cold herring steak to her swollen jaw, sulking*
Wesker: This last line says alot about his intentions.
I felt like I was just about finally connect with someone only to ruin everything at the last minute.
Kitty: *glares* I don't need more dead herrings, thank you, Gerg.
Nick: I know we've already joked about it, but here he pretty much admits it. That he's not really all that concerned with her as a person, much less the complex emotions that're no doubt festering within her psyche. No, he's more concerned about getting her attention so he can get laid, than he is about getting to know her, and being supportive of her through this rough patch.
Kitty: Like a true selfish cunt.
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 56 [self-explanatory, I think given his treatment of his exes #DeplatformPredators]
Nick: *lights himself a cigarette and takes an indulge drag on it* So...
Kitty & Wesker: *like particles in The Hadron Collider, they fly at each other, as Kitty tears open a portal and they tumble through, ripping into each other's body and cloths like horny honey badgers*
Nick: Typical. Join us next time for a chapter that is even shorter than this one. No kidding, it's just over four pages... Wonderful. Just spiffy *finishes his cigarette, flips his fedora over his eyes, as he leans back in his chair, kicks his feet up and goes into standby mode*
COUNTS: [thus far - subject to change]
Editor SOS: 199
The Salty Soapbox: 18 [unchanged since Chapter 2]
Too Many Onions In The Sauce: 56
Mystic Greg: 33
Hip Hop Hypocrisy: 10 [unchanged since Chapter 2]