The next day, Harry washed up and got dressed. He grabs his backpack and heads down to the common room where Ron was waiting for him. Ron told Harry that Hermione had gone down to the great hall for breakfast and that she would meet them there. Harry smiles as they both leave and head to the great hall for breakfast. They enter the great hall, takes their seats next to Hermione and begin to eat breakfast. Hermione had her book, Voyages with Vampires propped open against a milk jug. She was reading the book while she ate. She said, "Morning." To Harry and Ron. They said morning back as they ate. Neville said, "Mail's due any minute. I think Gran's sending a few things that I forgot." Sure enough a rushing sound was heard overhead as a hundred owls streamed into the hall. They circle the hall as they find their owners and dropped packages and letters as they flew around. A big lumpy package bounced off of Neville's head as an owl drops it. Neville picks up his package as a something gray falls into Hermione's milk jug, spraying everyone nearby with milk and feathers. Ron said, "Erroll!" As he pulls a bedraggled looking owl, out of the jug by its feet. Ron mutters, "The bloody bird is a menace!" Ron spots a red envelop in its beak. He said, "Oh no...." Hermione who was checking on the owl said, "It's alright. He's still alive." Ron points to the red envelope, "I didn't mean Erroll, I meant that." The envelope looked quite ordinary to Harry, but Neville and Ron were staring at it as if it was going to explode. Harry said, "What's the matter?" Ron said, "Mum sent me a Howler." Neville said, "You better open it Ron, It'll be worse if you don't. My gran sent me one once and I ignored it.... It was horrible." Harry looked from their scared faces to the envelope and said, "What's a Howler?" Ron's attention however, was on the red envelope, which had begun to smoke at the corners. Neville said urgently, "Open it. It'll be over in few minutes." Ron takes the red envelope from Erroll's beak and slits it open. Neville stuck a finger in each ear. A moment later, Harry understood why they called it a howler and why Neville had covered his ears. For a moment, Harry thought it did explode as a roar of sound filled the entire hall, shaking the dust off of the ceiling. The roaring sound got the attention of everyone in the hall as the envelope forms a mouth and Mrs. Weasley's voice was heard. Mrs. Weasley's voice was a hundred times louder than usual. It was loud enough to make the plates and spoons rattle on the table. Everyone turned their heads to see who got the Howler as the hall went quiet. Ron duck down so low that only his red forehead could be seen as Mrs. Weasley's voice yells,
"RONALD WEASLEY!
HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET A HOLD OF YOU! I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IFTHEY'D EXPELLED YOU! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT WE WENT THROUGH, WHEN WE SAW THAT THE CAR WAS GONE?! WHEN WE READ THAT LETTER FROM PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME! WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS! YOU AND HARRY COULD HAVE DIED! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED WITH YOU! YOUR FATHER IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND ITS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME!" Harry had a feeling his name would be brought into this, as the red envelope continues, "OH AND GINNY DEAR, CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING GRYFFINDOR! YOUR FATHER AND I ARE SO PROUD!" Ginny smiles slightly as the envelope bursts into flames and fall on the table, turning into ashes in the process. Harry felt all eyes on him and Ron. Snape felt bad for his son, as it wasn't his fault. He shakes his head and smirks at Ron though, as it was Ron's idea in the first place. He remembers the many times James and Sirius received Howlers. It was entertaining to watch when they received one. Snape himself had received Howlers, just not as often as James and Sirius did. Some of the students laugh as talk broke out over the hall again. Hermione closes the Voyages with Vampire book and looks down at Ron. She said, "You did have it coming to you, you know...." Ron snaps as he interrupts her, "Don't tell me I deserved it, Hernione." Harry pushed his porridge away. He wasn't hungry anymore. He felt guilty for flying in that car. Mr. Weasley was facing an inquiry at the ministry because of it. After everything Mr. and Mrs. Weasley have done for him, over the summer.
He was taken out of his musings by McGonagall, who was passing out the schedules for the week. Harry takes his and looks at his schedule. He saw that he had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first. Harry, Ron and Hermione left the castle together and headed down to the greenhouses, where the magical plants were kept. He spotted students waiting outside the greenhouses, so they went to stand with the others. Sprout came striding across the lawn, accompanied by Gilderoy Lockhart. She had an armful of bandages. With another twinge of guilt, Harry looks at the whomping willow in the distance. The whomping willow now had several branches in slings. Sprout's robes were covered in dirt and wore a patched hat over her fly away gray hair. Lockhart, on the other hand, was immaculate, in robes of turquoise. His golden hair shining under a matching turquoise hat with gold trimmings. Lockhart spots the students and said, "Oh, hello there! I've just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a whomping willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels." Sprout said, sounding disgruntled, "We're going in greenhouse three today!" Students murmur to one another. They never been in greenhouse three before. They always worked in greenhouse one. Greenhouse three housed more interesting and dangerous plants than the other 2 greenhouses. Sprout unlocks the door to greenhouse three, and immediately Harry caught a whiff of damp earth and fertilizer. Harry was about to go inside with Ron and Hermione, when Lockhart's hand shot out, stopping him. Lockhart said, "Harry, I've been wanting a word. You don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you Professor Sprout?" Sprout's scowl said otherwise. She looked like she did mind, but Lockhart said, "That's the ticket!" Lockhart, then proceeds to shut the door in Sprout's face. Lockhart said, shaking his head, "Harry, Harry, Harry." Harry didn't have clue what Lockhart was on about, so he decided to stay quiet. Lockhart continues, "When I heard, well, of course, it was all my fault. I could have kicked myself." Harry was about to say that he didn't have a clue what Lockhart was going on about, when Lockhart said, "I don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you'd done it. Stood out about a mile!" Lockhart continues, "I gave you a taste of publicity, didn't I? I gave you the bug. You got on the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again." Harry said, "Oh no, Professor, see...." Lockhart cuts him off as he reaches out and grasps Harry's shoulder. He said, "I understand. It's natural to want a bit more, once you've had the first taste. I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head. But see here young man, you can't start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, alright? There's plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! 'It's alright for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!' But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" Lockhart glances at Harry's lighting -shaped scar on his forehead. He said, "I know, I know, it's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award five times in a row, as I have, but its a start, Harry. It's a start." Lockhart gave Harry a wink and strode off. Harry stood there, watching Lockhart go. Lockhart had it all wrong about him. He didn't want more publicity, he wanted the complete opposite. He was getting tired of people staring at him and his scar. He didn't want to be known as the boy who lived. After a few minutes, he realized that he was supposed to be in Herbology. So, he opens the door to the greenhouse and slips inside.
Sprout was standing behind a bench with a big pot, when Harry took his place next to Ron and Hermione. There were 20 different color earmuffs on the table, one for each student. Sprout said, "We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?" As usual, Hermione's hand was the first in the air. Sprout calls on her. Hermione said, "Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative. It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed, to their original state." Sprout smiles, "Excellent! 10 points to Gryffindor! The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also dangerous. Who can tell me why?" Hermione's hand just misses Harry's glasses, as it shot up in the air again. Sprout calls on Hermione once more. Hermione said, "The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it." Sprout said, "Precisely! Take another 10 points. Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still only seedlings." She points to a row of deep trays. The students moved forward for a better look. A hundred or so little plants, which were purplish green in color, were growing there in a row. They looked normal to Harry so far. He wonders what Hermione meant by the "cry" of the Mandrake. Sprout said, "Everyone, take a pair of earmuffs." Students grabbed a pair of earmuffs closest to them. Sprout continues, "When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered. When it's safe to remove them, I'll give you the thumbs up. Right, earmuffs on." Sprout puts on a pair of earmuffs, rolled her sleeves back, grabbed hold of the plant firmly and pulled hard. Harry gasps, instead of roots, a small muddy and very ugly baby, popped out of the earth! The leaves were growing right out of his head! He had pale green, motted skin and was clearly crying at the top of its lungs. Sprout took a large pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it. She begins to bury him in dark damp compost, until only the leaves were showing. Sprout dusted off her hands, gave them all a thumbs up and removes her earmuffs. She said, "As our Mandrake are only seedlings, their cries won't kill you, yet. However, they will knock you out for several hours. So, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I'll signal you all when its time to pack up." Sprout looks around and said, "Right, 4 to a tray. There is a large supply of pots here. Compost are in sacks over there. Oh, be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething." She sharply slaps a spiky sharp vine that was sneaking over her shoulder. Harry, Ron and Hermione, were joined by a Hufflepuff boy, whom Harry recognized by sight, but never spoken to him. He said brightly, "Justin Finch-Fletchley." As he shook Harry's hand. He continues, "I know who you are, of course, the famous, Harry Potter. And you must be Hermione Granger, always top in everything." Hermione smiles as he shook hands with her. He shakes hands with Ron as he said, "Ron Weasley, Wasn't that your flying car?" Ron didn't feel like smiling, but shook hands with him just the same. The flying car was still on his mind. Harry said, "My last name is Snape, now." Justin smiles, "Oh right, Professor Snape adopted you didn't he? I almost forgot. Sorry, Harry." As they fill the plant pots with dragon dung compost, Justin said, "That Lockhart is something, isn't he? Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone booth by a werewolf, he stayed cool and zap, just fantastic!" Justin continues, "My name was down for Eton, you know. I can't tell you how glad I am that I came here instead. Of course, mum was disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books, I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family."
Justin had to stop, as they had to put their earmuffs back on. They needed to concentrate on the Mandrakes too. Professor Sprout made it look so easy, but they soon found out, that it wasn't as easy as it looked. The Mandrakes did not like coming out of the pots, nor did they like going into one either. They squirmed, kicked, swung their fists and gnashed their teeth. It took 10 minutes for Harry to put one Mandrake into a pot! By the end of class, Harry, like everyone else, was sweaty, achy and covered in dragon dung compost. Harry went back up to the castle with everyone else, for a quick wash, then off to Transfiguration. In Transfiguration, McGonagall was having them turn a beetle into a button. The only thing Harry managed to do, was give his beetle a lot of exercise. As it scuttled over the desk top to avoid Harry's wand. Ron was having worse problems than Harry. He had patched up his wand with some Spell-o-tape, but the wand seemed to be damaged beyond repair. His wand kept crackling and sparking at the wrong time, and every time Ron tried to transfigure his beetle, the wand would engulf him in a thick gray smoke that smelled like rotten eggs. Unable to see through the smoke, he accidentally squashed his beetle and had to ask for a new one. McGonagall wasn't please and told Ron that he needed to replace his wand. Harry felt relieved, when the lunch bell rang. Everyone left except Ron and Harry. Ron was whacking his wand against his desk as he said, "Stupid, useless thing!" Harry said, "Write home for another one, Ron." Ron said, "Oh yeah and get another howler from mum." He stuffs the now hissing wand into his bag as he mimics his mom's howler, "It's your own fault your wand got snapped." They head down to lunch, where Ron's mood wasn't getting any better, thanks to Hermione showing them a handful of perfect buttons that she managed to transfigure in class. Harry quickly changes the subject as he said, "What have we got this afternoon?" Hermione said, "Defense Against the Dark Arts." Ron who spotted something on her schedule, seizes it and said, "Why have you outlined all of Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?" Hermione blushes furiously as she snatches her schedule back from Ron. Suddenly, a blinding flash of light startles them. They look around to find a small mousy-haired boy holding up a camera. He was looking transfixed at Harry. The boy blushes as Harry looks at him. He said, "Alright, Harry? I'm.... I'm Colin Creevey. I'm in Gryffindor, too. Do you think.... Would it be alright if.... Can I have a picture?" Colin raises his camera hopefully. Harry said blankly, "A picture?" Colin said, "So I can prove that I've met you. I know all about you. Everyone's told me about how you survived, when You-Know-Who tried to kill you. How he disappeared and how you got that scar on your forehead. A boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures will move." Snape who was watching from the staff table shakes his head, chuckling. Creevey is going to be the bane of Harry's existence. He's been watching Colin snap pictures in between classes. This boy was something else. Colin continues, "It's amazing here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic, until I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So, I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. It would be really good if I had one of you." Colin looks imploringly at Harry, "Maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? Then you could sign it?" A familiar voice sneered, "Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos?" Malfoy appeared behind Colin, flanked as always, by Crabbe and Goyle. Snape's smile fades. Snape sighs and mutters, "Not again." He gets up from his seat and makes his way down from the staff table as McGonagall watches on. Malfoy continues as he shouts, "Everyone line up! Harry Snape is giving out signed photos!" Harry said angrily, his fists clenched, "No I'm not, Malfoy, shut up!" Colin shouts, "You're just jealous!" Malfoy said, incredulously, "Jealous? Of what? I don't want a foul scar on my forehead, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special myself." Crabbe and Goyle snicker as Ron said, "Eat slugs, Malfoy!" Both Crabbe and Goyle crack their knuckles menacingly as they glare at Ron. Malfoy said, "Be careful, Weasley. You don't want to start any trouble or your mommy will have to come and take you home." Malfoy mocks Ron's mom as he said, "If you put another toe out of line...."
Snape snarls, "Enough, Mr. Malfoy! You know full well that Mr. Snape is not giving out any signed photos! And there was no need to bring Mr. Wealsey's mother into this, it was uncalled for! Apologize to them both! Now!" Malfoy mutters, "Sorry Snape. Sorry Weasley." Snape said, "Now, I suggest you leave Mr. Snape and Mr. Weasley alone. Is that clear, Mr. Malfoy." Malfoy said, "Crystal clear, Professor." Snape said, "Now go! All 3 of you!" Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle leaves as Lockhart said, "What's all this? Whose giving out signed photos?" Snape said coldly, "No one Lockhart." Lockhart said, "But, I distinctly heard someone say...." Snape cuts him off and said, "I said no one, Lockhart. I believe you have a class to teach?" Lockhart said, "Yes.... Yes of course.... I'll be on my way then." Lockhart leaves as Snape turns to Harry, "Are you alright, Harry?" Harry nods as he hugs Snape, "Thanks for coming to my defense. Lockhart thinks I'm looking for publicity. He made me late to Herbology. He didn't even let me explain." Snape hugs him back and said, "And here I thought James was arrogant, but Lockhart takes the cake. He doesn't care what you have to say, he only cares about himself." Harry nods in response. Snape looks at Ron and said, "Calm yourself, Mr, Weasley, picking a fight will not solve anything, understood." Ron nods, "Sorry, Professor." Colin said meekly, "Can I get at least one photo of Harry, please Professor? Maybe a photo of Harry with you?" Snape said, "I suppose one photo wouldn't hurt, but only one, understood, Mr. Creevey?" Colin nods as he holds his camera up, ready to take a photo. Snape said, "In front of me, Harry." Harry stands in front of Snape. Snape places his hands on Harry's shoulder. Harry looks up at Snape and smiles. Snape smiles slightly back at Harry, "Ready, Harry?" Harry nods and looks forward, smiling. Snape said, "Take your photo, Mr. Creevey." Colin lifts his camera up and takes a photo of Snape and Harry. Colin smiles broadly, "Thank you, Professor Snape! Thank you Harry! Would it be ok if I send you both a copy of the photo? I promise to keep only one afterwards, so that I can send it to my dad." Snape nods, "You may, Mr. Creevey." Colin smiles, "Thank you, sir." Snape nods as Colin leaves, happy to have gotten a photo of Harry and of Professor Snape. Snape looks at Harry, Ron and Hermione, and said, "I suggest that you three head to class. I don't want any of you to be late." They nod and grab their bags. They head to Defense Against the Dark Arts as Snape heads to his classroom in the dungeons.
Harry, Ron and Hermione enter the classroom and sit at the very back of the room. They pull out all 7 of Lockhart's book as Lockhart comes in and smiles, "Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.... Me." Lockhart continues, "Gilderoy Lockhart. Order of Merlin, 3rd class. Honorary member of the Dark Force Defence League and 5 times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of Bandon Banshee by smiling at him." He chuckles at his own joke as the student look at each other, wondering what the joke meant. Lockhart continues, "I see you've bought a complete set of my books. Well done." Lockhart picks up a stack of parchment and starts passing them around as he said, "Now, I thought we could start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them. And how much you've taken in." Ron whispers as Lockhart passed out the quiz to them, "Look at these questions?! They're all about him!" Harry nods in agreement as Ron continues, "What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?" Both of them roll their eyes as they grab their quills. Lockhart said, "You have 30 minutes. Start.... Now!" Everyone started doing the quiz. For 30 minutes, the only sounds in the room, was the sound of quills scratching on the parchment. After 30 minutes, Lockhart said, "Time's up!" Lockhart pulls his wand out and waves it in an arc. All the quizzes flew to his hand. He puts his wand away and sits down at his desk. As he looks over the quizzes, he said, "Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac." Lockhart smiles at Hermione as he said, "But Miss. Hermione Granger, knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions. Good girl." Hermione blushes as she smiles at him. Lockhart sets his quizzes down onto his desk then goes over to the table where a covered cage stood. He said, as he pulls out his wand, "Now, be warned. It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind." He taps the covered cage with his wand, which makes the cage shake. He continues, "You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them!" Lockhart whips off the cloth, to reveal a cage full of cornish pixies. The pixies were making noises as they grab at the bars. The pixies were small, blue creatures that looked humanoid. They were about 8 inches in height and had black eyes with no white in them. They had thin arms and legs as they move about in the cage. They could see that the pixies had 3 fingers and 2 toes. Their wings flutter as their pointy ears move. Seamus laughs, "Cornish Pixie?" Lockhart said, "Freshly caught cornish pixies." Seamus continues to laugh. Lockhart said, "Laugh if you want, Mr. Finnigan, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you can make of them." Lockhart opens the cage door, setting the pixies free.
The pixies flew out of the cage and starts to fly around the classroom, tearing up pages of Lockhart's books, throwing things around, pretty much destroying the classroom. Most of the students ran out of the classroom. Lockhart said, "Come on! Round them up, round them up! They're only pixies!" 2 pixies picked Neville up by the ears and pulled him up into the air. Harry, Ron and Hermione swat at the pixies with their books as the 2 pixies hung Neville from the chandelier. Neville shouts, "Please get me down!" One pixie gets a hold of Hermione. She shouts, "GET OFF ME!" Harry said, "Hold still!" Harry whacks the pixie, sending it flying. Lockhart said, as he waves his wand, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!" That did nothing at all. As one of the pixies takes his wand and flies up to the skeleton of a dragon, that was hanging in the classroom. The pixie taps the chain with the wand, which breaks the chain and sends the skeleton falling to the ground. Where it broke into several pieces. Lockhart runs up the stairs to his office and said, "I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." Lockhart smiles, then runs into his office and slams the door shut. Ron said, "What do we do now?!" Hermione pulls her wand out and said, "Immobulus!" All the pixies froze on the spot, each with identical shocked looks on their faces. Neville said, "Why is it always me?" They shrug as they started to collect the pixies and put them all in the cage. Hermione closes the cage and locks it after putting the final pixie into the cage. She then helps Neville down from the chandelier by using the levitation spell. The bell rang so they put their books in their bag and left the classroom. Ron said, "Can you believe him?!" Hermione said, "He was just giving us some hands-on experience." Harry looks incredulously at Hermione and said, "Hands-on? Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing." Hermione said, "Rubbish! You've read his books. Look at all the amazing things he's done." Ron mutters to Harry, "He says he's done." Harry nods at Ron in agreement. What a day they're having!