Something too bright on my face compels me to open my eyes and the first thing I see is the window, of course. The sunlight always wakes me up and I can say that I'm very sensitive to the light early in the morning. Sometimes I don't need the alarm, like today.
A sigh leaves my mouth and I stretch my arms, I turn my head to my right and here he is my handsome man, he's sleeping on his stomach, his face is turned towards me, the sheets are just below his shoulders. I study his face and he is very cute when he sleeps, he's like a baby with that little pout.
A small smile emerges on my lips as I look at his cute face. I scarcely look at Blake in the morning, because most of the time I don't have the possibility to do it, or he gets out of bed too soon or sometimes we don't sleep together at all but today I'm pleased because I can look at him, at his perfect face.
Today, I feel so happy, I can't stop thinking about what happened last night, I think I have dreamed about it too, I know, I may sound ridiculous, but it was a great moment in our life, we climbed another level, a higher level in our relationship.
I can't say the sex itself was exceptional and pleasurable because it wasn't at all, it was very uncomfortable and even embarrassing. To make this short, he struggled a lot and now I'm starting to ask myself if he was saying the truth, that he never done it before because he was nervous, as nervous as me but he was also very careful and I found it adorable.
There's a positive point about what we shared last night, the fact that we did it, that we explored each other's bodies. I'm happy that we are more closer now, though I know sex isn't the only thing that brings two people closer, but that it also plays a role in a relationship.
Goodness, I can't stop thinking about every second we shared, from the way he touched me to the way he held me cautiously, the way he moaned in my ears when he was reaching the end of his 'half' pleasurable moment, the way he kissed me and told me beautiful words before I close my eyes, the way he held me close to him, the feeling of his warm skin against mine, there wasn't any clothes between us, and I want it that way forever.
"Morning," I look at him and his eyes are half open. He turns on his back and rubs his eyes to get rid of the fatigue.
"Good morning," I reply joyfully and turn on my side, facing him. His eyes meet mine and I can't help but to smile, he smiles as well and turns on his side as well, now we are facing each other, imitating each other, one hand under the pillow and the other entwining.
"You slept well?" He asks, his voice as husky as ever and I like that so much, his morning voice is so sexy.
"Yeah, and you?" I ask, my eyes roaming along his face, God he's so handsome even early in the morning with a sleepy face.
"Me too," He says and pulls me against him. He circles his arms around me and makes me laugh spontaneously. He leaves kisses on my face and although I hate to kiss him when I haven't brush my teeth, he doesn't mind and keep kissing me.
"Aren't you sore?" He asks and now that he is talking about this, I guess I am, I haven't taken too much attention to what is happening down there, but yeah, I am a bit.
"A bit but it's not that painful," I reply and stroke his hair, hair as messy as ever.
He nods and it's followed by a snort and a small smile. "We did it, I still can't believe it," He says and it's reciprocal, we are both pretty shocked that we jumped on another level.
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask hesitantly, I don't if it's the perfect time to have 'the' conversation with him, but it's itching me to know.
"Of course," He replies.
I take a breath and search my words carefully, "Is that true that before yesterday night you never did... it?"
He turns on his back and rubs his forehead, I support myself on my elbow and I place my left hand on his covered stomach, waiting for his answer.
"I promise, I have never done anything like what we did last night, ever," He says and it's hard for me to believe him, I saw so much that my mind is stuck on the fact that he has done it, not once, but more.
Before our last year of high school, before I quite school, he was with practically all the girls, not only those at our school but also others I had never seen, others who were older than him. He was always telling us that he would see us later, that he had things to do.
"I–I can't believe you, Blake, you can't tell me you never did it before, but I told you, I don't care if you did it or not, just be true to me, don't lie," I say.
He looks at me and I think I just made a mistake, "Why would I lie to you? Did you see how I struggled? Do you think that if I was a bit experimental, I would have acted like that? And why the fuck would I lie to you? I've never done it, I'm telling you the truth and It may sound weird, I know, but is it impossible for me to be like that? Is it a shame that I have never done it previously because I'm not having it."
"Alright, I just wanted to know the truth, calm down now. In addition, I don't think it's a bad thing, for me it's the same thing but experiencing it together was awesome and I'm sorry if I was doubting you, it just wouldn't click in my mind that you never did it... before... me," I say quietly.
He sighs and pushes me on my back then he hovers over me his body press against mine, our nakedness makes my body hot again. He leaves a kiss on my neck and on my chest.
"I'm glad I am your first too... I love you," He murmurs roughly and kisses me passionately.
~°~
"Ali says she want choco," Eldon says to me as she is sitting on the small kitchen table, her Barbie doll, Ali, in her hands.
"Tell Ali that she'll have tooth decay if she eats too much chocolate," I reply while I'm making breakfast and Acher's milk.
"Too delay?" I laugh when she says the words, honestly, she's so funny sometimes, she tries to repeat after me, but there are a few words she can't duplicate. I can't believe that she is growing so fast too, in a few months she will begin to understand a lot of things and like Acher, I don't want my baby doll to grow up, she will fall prey to others, I can't bear such thoughts.
"Not too delay, but tooth decay, which means that her teeth will turn brown and dirty," I say and give Acher his bottle of milk, warm enough, as he likes it.
She looks at her doll and grimace, "She doesn't have de-delay," She says with a pout.
I sigh with amusement and decide to not push this conversation further. I know Eldon and if I say something she doesn't want to hear, she'll get a tantrum and Eldon's tantrums are uncontrollable. "Alright, she is perfect, baby," I say and place her breakfast in front of her, she nods cutely and thanks me, then she wastes no time to grab her egg, with her hands, I know if I tell her to grab her spoon instead, she won't so, better let her be, for once.
"Smells good in here," Blake enters the room, wearing his black sweatpants only, hair damp and curly and holy moly, he is wearing his earrings, how handsome he is with them on.
"Your breakfast is here," I gesture to a plate full of food next to Eldon. He comes towards me and encircled his arms around my waist, a bit too hard.
"Blake, my back is hurting don't hold me too tight," I say and he looses a bit.
"Is this because of last night?" He whispers in my ear.
"I guess so," I reply and leave a quick kiss on his cheek and then, I unwrap his arms around me and head towards my plate, I'm as hungry as ever, my belly wants one thing, food, food and food!
~°~
It's already afternoon, the sun is losing its strength and the birds are rejoining their secluded places. The weather outside is calm, almost too calm, and I would love to go outside just to breathe some pure air, but to be straightforward, I'm too scared to do so. I don't feel safe here, not even a little bit.
Blake is downstairs in the living room, trying to see if he can have a phone network to call Aven or the others. We tried earlier, but to no avail, there was no connection, not even a line. Here there is no internet and if there's no network either, I guess it will make me sick because living in the middle of nowhere with no connection with others will be a disaster. What if something happens and we need help, what do we do?
I groan and rub my face with my hands, trying to calm myself down. I have to think positively, nothing had happened since we came here, it's been almost two days and nothing weird has occurred, which is a very good thing.
All of a sudden, my eyes lands on my black bag that I have put in the corner of the room where Blake would not have his eyes on. I get up from the bed and walk towards the bag, I sit down on my knees, examining the black thing and it's content. With a deep breath, I take a look towards the door and without wasting a minute, I take the mysterious book out of it.
There are too many books, first my dad's book and now this one that seems to be extremely confidential, like it has been writing on it in huge capital white alphabets.
Out of curiosity, I open the book and the first thing I see is my mom, a picture of her at a gas station, her left hand on her head holding her cap, she is looking towards the camera but not exactly at it. She has a huge black bag on her shoulder and she doesn't look placid here, she is pretty stiff.
To the right of the picture, there's a note and the first thing that is written is her full name, Ellen Blatty Romand, her age comes next and where she lives, the specific address where my grandparents lived, dad told me once. Then, there are a bunch of words, a bunch of incomprehensible sentences, such as Suspect on Standby, Group homicide partnership and more, and honestly, I don't know what I should be thinking right now.
Turning the page, I frown, I don't know if it was a good idea to bring this book with me anymore, why did I take it? I don't know, I was curious, plus, I wanted to know what Ellen is hiding, I still want to know but I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the new information, but anyway, I look back at the page and start reading.
TRANS ALLEGHENY LUNATIC ASYLUM, Weston, West Virginia.
12/04/1997
Patient Ellen Blatty was admitted on 1/03/95. Diagnosed with DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, at only age nineteen, a terrifying disorder which causes the individual to have more than one or two different identities.
First Interrogation, she called herself as the divinity of an unknown country, Hallas. Three days ago she was Sophie, a fifty years old who lived in New Jersey. Three days after, she confessed that she assassinated her parents while she was under the name of Lucie.
January 1996, at the age of 20 Ellen Blatty is being missed in the asylum, no trace of her has been found. The evidence showed weeks ago that she had fled but not by herself. Police were investigating but no track of this individual was found.
I take a very deep breath and lean my back against the bed, I close my eyes and shake my head slowly. So it's real, she is sick, but God, she is more than sick, she was diagnosed with DID, I lived with a psychopath during all this time! Thankfully, at least she never got sick in front of me, well, I don't think she ever got a change of disorder. I crawl my fingers in my hair and turn the page.
INTERROGATION WITH Ellen Blatty.
Dr: Can I know where you lived, please?
Ellen: Citadel of Saladin, Egypt.
Dr: Are you sure you lived there?
Ellen: Of course, how can I not.
Dr: Miss Blatty, I must tell you that you never been to Egypt, you lived in Bismarck in America with–...
Ellen: No! No! No! You're mistaken mister, I lived in Egypt, and I'm going back soon, my wedding is for a few weeks. Okay, you don't believe me, let me show you. If I wasn't Egyptian would I have been able to say this, Geia sas, Kyrie...
Dr: This was Greek miss Blatty.
Ellen: It wasn't! How dare you you contradict my words, you dumb ass!
Oh my God, it's as if I'm reading a horror book. There's a question that is dancing in my mind, why they put all of this in this book? And why was it with Ellen? I have some reasons that may be not true but I guess she stole it for some reason.
I can't believe that my mother was admitted into an asylum and more, I can't believe she ran away, she was really crazy in her head. It would have been better for her if she stayed and treated herself, maybe she could have been a better mother, who knows.
I sigh and turn the page and honestly, if my jaw could touch the floor, it would because the things that I'm seeing right now are unbelievable to my eyes.
Hi guys!! ❤❤ Here is the new chapter ! Chapter 54! 💙
I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts guys!!! It helps a lot!
See you next week for a new chapter guys! ❤❤
I love you all!
#BLADEN
•Emily X