"Hey you're Devika right?" A tall blonde girl announced as I turned. I was in the administrative office at my new school getting my schedule.
"Just Devi," I replied giving her a glance. She wore a stark white tank top that exposed an inch or so of her midriff and an ankle length royal purple skirt. She gave off a hippy vibe.
"Leah will be showing you to your classes. If you have any questions she can't answer, come see one of us here in the office," the woman behind the desk said but I barely payed attention to her.
"We have the first three classes together so this will be super easy," her voice was pleasant as we exited the tiny room that smelled like copy paper and disinfectant to join the chaotic throng of students on their way to their first classes of the day. I kept my head down and avoided eye contact. My heart was thumping in my chest. I swallowed and ignored it. The anxiety would dissolve momentarily. Every emotion did.
"So where'd you come from?"
I appreciated Leah's attempt at small talk.
Don't bother trying.
Ignoring the purring voice in my head, I flickered my gaze up to hers. Her eyes were a friendly cornflower blue.
"Nowhere you'd recognize." I looked down at my checkered Vans. They had been a parting gift from my mother who was convinced she could buy my love after the divorce. It didn't work and I would never forgive her for leaving my father and I to figure out what the hell we were going to do without her while she traipsed around California with her rich boy toy. I wasn't stupid though; Dad could barely keep a roof over our heads. I wouldn't turn down the opportunity to retire my battered high tops and deceive the outside world that I wasn't a poor teenager trying to scrape by.
My father had gotten a decent job in this town and although it was hours from my childhood home, he couldn't turn it down. He had told me this was the fresh start we needed. I played along to save his feelings, but I wasn't convinced.
"Oh, well-"her tone was awkward and she fumbled to keep the conversation going.
"The past is the past right?" I threw her a line and mentally kicked myself. This girl was trying to be nice and I was already acting like a bitch.
"Hey, you don't owe me any explanation I get it," she threw her hands up before motioning to an open classroom. I followed her into a room that was obviously our first class. "So, this is Government. The teacher is this super anti-government anarchist dude ironically. Just go with whatever he says, and you'll get an A for the year."
I smirked as I sat down at the free desk behind Leah and shrugged out of my leather jacket and got comfortable.
"Lunch is after third period and you can sit with me and my friends if you want. We're theatre kids but we're pretty chill," she turned to face me momentarily with a grin.
She just wants to get dirt on you.
"That sounds great. Thanks Leah," I managed a polite smile just as Mr. Anarchist entered the classroom and jumped right into lecture. He glanced at me momentarily but said nothing. No formal introductions or standing in front of the class- perfect. I preferred to be invisible.
The next two classes were similar. I was able to stick by Leah and fade into the background of the room, occasionally someone would introduce themselves and I would exchange pleasantries. Nothing too bad.
Lunch was a different story.
***
We had just sat down with our food when a small group of teenagers broke the pleasant silence and sat around us noisily. I had to calm myself down as I was surrounded by strangers laughing at some unheard joke. My hackles were raised, and it took every once of self-control not to bolt like some small prey animal.
"Devi this is Tallulah, Lee, Daniel, and Naomi. Guys this is Devi. She's going to be the Billy badass of our group," Leah introduced me to the strangers watching me fight my parasympathetic response. I prayed I came off as cool as she was making me out to be because my heart was pounding in my ears. I allowed a smile embarrassed smile to flirt across my face.
The four people gave their own individual greetings before the boy named Lee changed the subject to something else entirely.
I could breathe again once everyone's attention was off me. Thank God for teenager's short attention spans.
I was sitting silently deep in my own world when Leah broke my train of thought as she shouted something and used the arm closest to me to reach behind her and grab something- or rather someone.
I shook my head and looked behind us as I caught her words.
"Just the person I needed to talk to! I need you to buy alcohol for the party this weekend!" Her hand caught the black tee shirt of a guy walking past us, causing him to stop sharply and invade my personal space.
"You have two seconds to release me before I break your fingers." His voice was deep and smooth like the type of dark liquor that left you feeling warm and numb simultaneously. I couldn't get a good look at him from the angle I was at and flinched away to accommodate the human that was now forced into my bubble because of Leah.
She removed her grip, but her tone was insistent. I didn't bother trying to look him in the face, instead focusing on not being touched by this random douche bag.
"Come on big brother, please...?"
"Go fuck yourself." He shook her off and kept moving without another word.
"Sheesh, what a nice guy," I commented as she turned around to face the table with a grin.
"That's his way of saying 'I love you little sister and I'd do anything for you'" Leah laughed.
"Judd is a fucking psycho but he's good for stuff like this," the girl named Tallulah reassured as she and Lee stood. "We're gonna go outside and smoke. You smoke Devi?"
"Depends on what you're smoking," I answered coolly. Marijuana was the only thing that got me through the day sometimes. I hadn't gotten high since we moved to this town but the idea of blowing down sounded amazing.
"Easy tiger it's just tobacco," she replied with a smirk.
"Not my cup of tea."
"I like this one Leah," Tallulah grinned at our mutual companion before winking at me and pulling the boy with her towards the door of the busy cafeteria and out of sight.
That left Daniel, Naomi, Leah and myself.
Daniel and Leah immediately started into a flirtatious conversation I wanted no part of. Naomi seemed to think the same as she motioned towards the couple and rolled her eyes before launching into a conversation of her own.
She seemed nice enough.
They don't like you.
I mentally rolled my eyes at the silky-smooth voice and tried to concentrate on what Naomi was saying.
**
I was leaving my last class and heading for my Jeep when I heard my name being called somewhere behind me.
"Devi! Devi!" I turned to see Leah pushing her way towards me.
"Girl can you give me a ride? My asshole brother must've left early, and he was my way home," her tone was annoyed, and she rolled her eyes dramatically as she explained the situation.
"Oh, uh yeah come on my car is over there," I thumbed the general direction of my vehicle, shifting my bag further onto my shoulder.
"You are a life saver," she was gratuitous as we got in. I watched her throw her bookbag into my cluttered back seat and buckle herself in before I turned the jeep on. The engine whined but eventually roared to life.
My favorite sound in the world.
"you'll have to guide me; I don't know the area at all." It wasn't a lie. I'd been living here for a week and hadn't left my bedroom the entire time.
"No problem..." she began explaining the directions as I drove out of the parking lot towards our destination.
We pulled up to her home a few minutes later. The neighborhood was upscale but not rich. Leah's parents were probably doctors or something. I was willing to bet Leah had a trust fund.
The house I parked in front of was at least two stories. Bleached and clean like Leah's top. Surrounded by sharp green hedges. Not a leaf out of place. How white collar.
There was a basketball hoop attached to the two-car garage. I wondered silently if the asshole brother played. Leah didn't seem like the sports type.
"Thanks so much Devi. You're amazing!" She started to get out and slung her bag onto her shoulder.
"No problem," I mentioned as she grinned and started to turn away. "Oh shit, hey what are you doing Friday after school?"
Suddenly she was watching me again.
"Oh uh, just sitting around at home. My dad works a lot."
"Awesome. Would you wanna come over? I know I said it's a party but it's just going to be us theatre people. Super chill." She watched me with big hopeful blues. I could see how she got what she wanted.
"Um social scenes really aren't my thing," people weren't my thing. Anything that required feelings and interacting wasn't my forte. My mother used to complain that she had a rock for a daughter, and I was completely devoid of any form of emotional state. She wasn't far off the mark. I was ninety-nine percent sure I was the definition of dissociation disorder.
"Listen Devi, you seem like the kind of person who knows how to have a good time. I would be offended if you didn't," she had her chin rested on the edge of the door batting her eyelashes at me.
"We'll see alright? No promises." I figured that would shut her up long enough for me to come up with a better excuse to flake.
"I'll hold you to that!" she waved and started towards her house.
"Alrighty..." my voice came out an octave higher than normal as I pulled away.
I was a natural liar. I'd get out of going and stay in my room and rewatch old movies or something more introvert friendly.