"Well, then, I hope you won't regret what we did." Ricci said and placed his arms around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. Yes, we did it, I don't know how but we did. "Pag-iisipan ko pa if I regret it." I said and laughed and looked at him, I want to stay like this forever, bakit kasi kailangan may mahal pa siyang iba? Bakit ko pa kasi kailangan umalis?
"What are you thinking?" He asked and looked at me.
'Wag mo akong titigan nang ganyan baka kalimutan ko kung anong meron sa New York. "Hmm, nothing. Ayaw mo man lang ba mag-damit?" I asked him to somehow change the topic. He smiled, "Ayaw eh, baka may round two." He said with a wink, I laughed and slapped his arm.
"Gago ka! Well pwede naman pero tinatamad ako eh." I said and he pouted. "Hoy, teka lang naman masakit pa, round two agad iniisip mo." I said and we both laughed.
"I'm hungry, ikaw?" I asked, 'cause I'm really hungry. "Ako na lang kainin mo." I slapped his arm again. "Oo na, gutom na, pa-deliver ka na mcdo." He said and I nodded.
I'll be leaving in three days. I don't know if I should tell him about me leaving. I mean kahit naman na gago siya deserve naman niya malaman kung mawawala ako ng isang taon.
The delivery arrived after an hour and we ate. Pagkatapos namin kumain baka sabihin ko na.
"Uh, Cci." I said, it's obvious in my voice that I am nervous as hell.
"Yes? Ano 'yon?" He said and looked at me. "Uhm, I'm leaving." I said.
"Oo nga, you won't sign for another year with me, I know." He said and he looked confused. "No, Ricci. I'm really leaving." I said and he just looked at me, I sighed. "Before I signed the contract with you, I sent my portfolio to a modeling agency in New York, eh, I tried lang naman kasi what if this will be a big opportunity for me, for my career. A day before my birthday, yung bigla akong nawala, 'yon yung time na nalaman ko that I got accepted." I'm already crying while explaining.
"Shh, Raffy, stop na." He hugged to try to comfort me. Umiling ako, "Wait, let me finish." I said.
"My original plan was to not to tell you, kasi galit ako sa nalaman ko, but I can't eh. Gusto ko na malaman mo kasi ayoko na bumalik ako dito na may regrets. But, yeah, one year lang naman contract ko sa kanila kasi they only want to see in person what I can offer." I said and smiled.
"Stop crying, Raffy. Kailan ba alis mo?" He asked me and wiped my tears.
"Saturday 3am. Ikaw na lang mag-hatid sakin. I don't think na kaya ko na umalis kung complete tayo eh." I told him and he held my hand. "Okay. But you should tell them." He said and I nodded.
"We should hangout one last time kasi next year na ulit tayo magkikita." I told him. "They're mad at me." He said and pouted. I smiled. "Kasi nga alam mo na. Basta ako bahala, okay." I held his face and face it to mine.
"Would you still love me when you come back?" He asked.
"Diba sabi ko naman sa'yo na I will always love you." I said. "Just making sure." He said and kissed me.
We were kissing for about a few minutes until I decided to pull away. Baka hanap-hanapin ko 'to sa pag-alis ko.
"Was I your first?" He asked me and I nodded.
"Uhm, was I your first?" I asked. "Yes." He answered.
I went to my bedroom 'cause I felt really sleepy and I was tired for today.
Whatever Ricci and I did, I did not regret even a single thing that we did. I'm not even the type of girl who'll save herself for marriage but I'm also not the one who would do it to anyone.
Sometimes I wish I never sent my portfolio, edi sana I still have one more year with him but I realized na hindi ko na dapat ipilit. I also realized that we should let ourselves grow without each other, baka kung nangyari 'yon baka pwede na yung kami na matagal ko nang gusto.
I felt him snaked his arms around my waist, I smiled. Tangina, parang mali ata na ang clingy niya eh, mamimiss ko talaga 'to. "Sleep ka na?" He asked and I nodded.
"Okay, I'll just turn off the lights an let's sleep."
Hindi ko na siya hinintay at natulog na na ako. I hope this day would never end.