My Little Secret
Secrets.
They were a sacred thing for me. If I were to keep a secret from my parents, I would be kept in my house like a prisoner for life, never to see light again. And, being a prisoner as it already was, I couldn't imagine having to deal with that for life.
For years, I'd kept the promise to my parents that I would never break their rules.
My phone went in their hands right when I walked in the front door.
I had to be home by 7 pm; no later. No studying with friends, no parties, and no school dances.
And I'd absolutely never, and I mean never, have any contact with boys. Friends with boys? No. A boyfriend? No.
If I were to ever break any of the rules, my life would be over. And I couldn't have that happen.
I knew my parents had a reason for it; their overprotective ways. It had taken them years to get pregnant with me, and once they had me they wanted nothing to happen to me.
So they made a list of rules. They pinned it to the fridge when I was just five years old and they changed it after every birthday.
I got used to it over the years, and their happiness that I was safe and sound every day made me not complain about it.
It started out with the rules, but as I got older, the list got longer, and their expectations somehow got even worse. One misstep and it was grounded for at least three days. And probably some ear-piercing yelling until their throats were sore.
Part of me wanted to get to experience the things I wasn't allowed to do. Everyone talked about going to parties and going to places late at night, and it was tempting to just sneak out, but I never gave in.
The thought of hurting my parents like that scared me. And the thought of getting yelled at scared me, too.
Over the years, there had been short crushes, party invitations, turned-down study dates, and suggested late-night FaceTime calls. Every one of those things had to be locked away in the "things I want to do but never can" box in my brain.
Nobody but my best friend knew about my strict rules. Most people just thought I was an innocent girl who refused to do anything social or boy-related when in reality, my actions were against my own wishes.
Like I said before, I did get invited to parties. And when I did, they were probably the hardest things to turn down.
Like now.
"––and there will be games like beer pong and spin the bottle," one of the girls in my senior class was gushing as she gestured with her freshly-manicured hands. Her face lit up like she was remembering something. "Oh! And boys. Of course, there will be boys. Hot boys." She winked at me and my best friend Vera, who had a wistful look on her face.
I looked from Vera back to the eager girl in front of me. "We'll think about it," I said, smiling at her. "Thank you for inviting us."
"Anytime!" she exclaimed in her high-pitched, chirpy voice.
"Yeah, thanks," Vera spoke up, her eyes going elsewhere as they filled with a dreamy look.
"Well, bye. I hope to see you guys there," the girl chirped. She turned around, her long, slick brown hair flying behind her as she spun on her heel. As she walked away, I turned back around in my seat.
I was about to pick up my sandwich when I noticed that Vera was still distracted by...the window?
"Vera, what's up with you?" I asked her, nudging her shoulder with my hand. She startled, turning back around in her seat to look at me.
"Huh?"
"You have that look in your eyes again." I looked down at my food, ashamed.
Vera grabbed my hand. "Marley, hey." I looked up. "It's fine. It's just...it's homecoming this week and there are parties literally every day. This is the third one today."
"Then go without me!" I suggested. "I don't want to hold you back."
"Hey, no, it was my decision in the first place to skip parties with you." She shrugged. "Besides, it's not as much fun without you."
"You obviously want to go to one. You wouldn't have brought it up if you don't." I squeezed her hand. "You can go. Don't worry about me. I'll just do my homework, instead." I scrunched my nose in distaste.
"That doesn't sound fun."
"Um, yeah, I know, but I don't have any other choice."
She frowned. "Can we sneak you out? We can go get some hot outfits at the mall after school, and I'll bring a bag with makeup and we can get dressed secretly and do our makeup, then I'll sneak you out."
I sighed. "You know it's not that easy. My windows are sealed shut. And now I can't go anywhere after school, remember?."
"God, are they holding you hostage or some shit? You never told me the part about the windows."
"You never asked."
She narrowed her eyes, before sighing in defeat. "Fine, we won't sneak you out. I'll just do homework too or something." I opened my mouth to argue, but she beat me to it. "Nope, no buts or excuses. I'm not going to a party without you."
"But what about the hot boys?" I asked seriously.
She shrugged. "There's always football games."
At that point, I knew there was no point in arguing. We've had that argument a million times, so I knew it wouldn't get me anywhere. Vera was extremely stubborn when it came to the subject of going to parties without me.
"Fine," I said, admitting defeat. I picked up my sandwich, taking a bite out of the dry bread. I cringed at the bland taste of my food, so I put it down and chugged some water.
Vera and I chatted about random things over the lunch period, before the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I collected my stuff and shoved it into my backpack.
"See you in Bio," Vera said as she swang her backpack onto her shoulders.
"Yeah, see ya." We grinned at each other before we went separate ways. I weaved through the halls, heading straight for my psychology classroom, which just so happened to be on the other side of the building from lunch.
When I got there, I went to my normal seat in the middle of the room. I glanced at the seat next to me to make sure it was still empty. It was, so I put my backpack onto the seat like I usually did.
Just three days after school had started, the guy that sat next to me had gotten suspended for somehow figuring out how to change the wallpapers of the computers into the computer lab to...let's just say some things people do not want to see on their screen.
I tried to ignore the clump of girls talking about the parties they were going to attend and the boys they wanted to hook up with as I opened my backpack and pulled out my notebook and a pencil.
I was tapping my pencil on my desk as I watched the clock on the wall, eager to get the class started so I could get closer to the finish of school.
A voice sounded from above me, making me jump and look up.
"Is this seat taken?" The voice was smooth, but that's not what I was thinking about, because when my eyes landed on the person's--no boy's--face, my breath was suddenly stolen from my chest.
Dark curls and tan skin. Kind brown eyes trained on me as he watched me expectantly. He had a small smile on his face as he awaited my reply.
Damn. I swallowed, aware that I had to reply to him.
"No, It's not, s-sorry." I scrambled to grab my bag off the seat so he could seat on it. He sent me a grateful smile as he took a seat.
"Thanks. I was worried I wouldn't find a seat," he admitted softly, sending me short glances as he unzipped his backpack.
"No problem." I paused, realizing I didn't recognize him from around school. "Um, are you new?" He cringed, and I felt my cheeks warm up in embarrassment. "Sorry! It's just that...I've never really seen you around before."
He shook his head. "No, it's fine. Lots of people have asked me that today. I've been watched like a hawk by kids in all of my classes today." He sent me a small smile, and I suddenly realized he had a dimple on his left cheek. "But yeah, I'm new. My name's Rowan."
"I'm Marley," I replied in a voice that to me sounded about three pitches quieter than it usually did.
He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something more, but the bell rang and everyone stopped talking as the teacher stood up from her desk. He glanced at me one more time before he flipped open his notebook.
As his arm rested on the desk, I noticed some dark purple bruises scattered across his wrist and arm. They were pretty small and fading, but I saw them. I suddenly really wanted to know what caused them.
I sat back in my chair as I tried to listen to Mrs. Brown, who had just started talking, but all I could think in my mind was holy shit.
He was so cute. So dangerously cute. I hadn't thought that about a boy in years, and now that it was happening, it was scaring me.
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a steadying breath to calm myself so I could actually focus and consume information like I was supposed to in school.
But the whole time, I was distracted by the person beside me.
* * *
I could already tell my parents were home when I walked up the driveway. They had a tracker on their phones to check where I was at all times, so they probably knew I was home, and I didn't have a car because it was just too much freedom for them to handle.
Sometimes it sucked that they didn't seem to trust me at all, but after so many years of it, I had learned to live with it.
"I'm home!" I called as I slipped off my shoes. I could hear the classical music being piped from the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, where I knew my dad was probably planning dinner for later.
I found my mom on the couch, flipping through a magazine. She looked up when she spotted me in the entryway. "Hi, Marley!" She got right up from the couch and grabbed my head, giving me a kiss on the head.
"Hi, Mom." I let her coddle me more for a moment before I pulled away, having had enough affection. Sometimes my mom could be very overly affectionate with me, and I enjoyed the moments because it meant I hadn't done anything wrong.
"Phone?" she said, putting her hand out. I proceeded to the normal routine of rummaging through my backpack and fishing out my phone. I put it into her outstretched hand.
She kissed my forehead. "Thank you, dear."
"I love you, mom," I said, squeezing her hand. She looked at me with eyes full of love, the same eyes that had been with me throughout my whole life, watching me grow and learn.
The eyes that watched me constantly to make sure I didn't put myself in "harm's way."
"I love you, too, Marley," she said lovingly.
I smiled. "I'm going to work on homework before dinner," I informed her, taking a few steps back towards the stairs.
"Okay, sweetie." I turned around and ran up the stairs, eager to get into my room, which was the only place I felt like was the place I was free, even though my windows were sealed, giving me no way out.
I dropped my bag on the floor and flopped back onto my bed. I sunk into the fluffy bedspread that adorned my mattress, closing my eyes as I bathed in the feeling of silence, which usually put me at ease...
...but not that day.
My mind was so loud, it took over the silence, washing over me. The girl inviting me and Vera to a party, Vera being so sweet about not going to the party for me, but obviously wanting to go, and...Rowan.
I couldn't get the image of him out of my head. I had looked over at him a couple of times in class. He had been hunched over his desk, his lip between his teeth as he looked from his paper to the teacher, listening avidly.
I wanted to get to know him. Just talking to him at the beginning of class was close to the edge of the cliff of breaking my parents' rules. I wanted to get to know him but I couldn't. I'd be going against the rules if I did.
And I couldn't do that.
As I lay there in my bed, putting off the pile of homework to think about something--or someone--else, I couldn't seem to push away the new feelings of wanting to break the rules that were set upon me.
"I'm so screwed," I whispered to myself.
* * *
Notes:
omg hey! i haven't posted anything on wattpad in literally forever, but i've had so many new readers so i'm excited to share this new story with you guys! i can't wait for you to fall in love with rowan and marley just as much as i have.
this story is very different from the usual wattpad teen fiction books. you'll notice that rowan is not the stereotypical bad boy. if that bothers you just imagine him as a broody, muscular, hot teen and you'll be fine, but he's not that type of person in my head.
this story means so much to me. the characters have so much behind them, and i can't wait to keep writing about them. i really hope you enjoy reading it.
i will be updating every friday, especially since i already have some chapters written! and i promise I'll actually finish writing this one lmao.
also i will include things like this at the end of the chapters because ily:
love, skyler