I hate Chapters like this. The older I get, the more I love my parents and anything otherwise makes me emotional. If this chapter is crap, trust me I'm drained of all emotion. I can't rewrite this stuff and not cry all over again.
I don't understand all the hate on Marcus. You've probably never had that friend you love and hate for being so blunt and frank in all things. How could you not see how loyal he is to his friends? So sad.
Father
I felt listless.
And that wasn't normal for me.
Scarlett Heloise Noble was, in fact, social. My circle of acquaintances spoke for themselves. There were a handful of people who knew me well enough. My professors trusted me to hand me responsibilities. And even to strangers, I could confidently string up an intelligent conversation without feeling drained.
But coming back to school after that Friday afternoon with the person I considered my best friend... was a drawback. A major one. I knew I shouldn't, but I was now reassessing myself as a person. I didn't sleep well this last weekend, and I wasn't emotionally well enough to 'hang out' with classmates.
So here I was. Groggy. Slightly—no, majorly off in ways I hadn't felt for so long. And having a feeling of split body and soul. I couldn't entirely focus on anybody as I passed people on the walkway to the Arts Department. My mind was so disarrayed that I felt like everyone was staring at me as I passed by.
And why would people do that?
The hands holding folders and folders of my final requirements felt cold and clammy. My brain was an eternal vacuum where thoughts may enter but get lost faster than I could grasp it. There was a low ringing in my ears, my vision was metaphorically tunneled. And my body was chilly, in a way the autumn breeze wasn't responsible for.
And I didn't hear the crunching gravel behind me at the approach of two sets of harried footsteps. My denim jacket was forcefully grabbed by the arm and I was whirled around to face two girls breathing heavily.
There was an annoyed look on Elise's red face, "Scarlett—! Oh, sorry!" My folders fell to a clutter on the pavements and the wind just had to blow at the right time to scatter the papers with it.
"Elise," Sienna whined, immediately running after the straying pieces of paper.
I paused at the strange sight before me. The two of them looked unsettled. But I was more concerned that the two of them were together even though our project was finished. I always thought they couldn't stand each other. Sienna and Elise were quite the opposites and they tended to clash.
I stooped down to help Sienna with my folders. The girl was futilely trying to return my things to order so I took them from her hands. Sienna repeatedly apologized on Elise's behalf as we stood up.
Elise huffed at Sienna, "Oh, forget that, you two! Sienna, stop diverting us from the topic!"
Sienna pushed her glasses up her nose, "Oh, right! Right!" She whipped in my direction, Scarlett, why are you on campus? Are you insane? People are crucifying you!"
I blanked. And that when the feeling came back.
Of strangers' eyes on me and I looked up.
Warning sirens shrieked at my suddenly awake mind.
Surely, just surely, eyes, hateful judgmental eyes were trained on me. It was as if I regained hearing, the insidious whispers were now hitting me full force. There were snickers behind cupped hands. And there were the wry looks and elbowing.
Just somehow, I knew... even before being told, what this was about.
There was a pitying look as Elise dragged me away from all the attention.
"You haven't seen the student portal, have you?"
I was already feeling the oncoming migraine at her words.
I shook my head slowly, "No, I haven't." I was home, trying to comprehend what happened with Sarah, my supposed-to-be best friend.
Sienna whipped out her phone, tapped furiously over the screen. Elise took my things and gestured to Sienna who handed me her phone.
And there was an anonymous article with blurred out pictures which was obviously me. I think my eyes glazed over as the grip I had on the phone tightened. There were words there. Things I would not repeat, strung sentences that were a pack of lies. Things that I'd only ever heard from Sarah Wilson that one last argument that I knew ended our friendship. Only this time, they were written in journalism form, in that persuasive and pseudo-informative intention meant to sway people into a specific crooked mentality.
I looked up at the two ladies I'd worked with in the last two months. The worried expressions waiting for a reaction from me.
I felt sick to my stomach.
"B-but I don't understand," my words came out shakily, "H-how could something like this could get so big all of a sudden? I d-don't—"
"The Mag, ring a bell to you? Their site posted a blind item about a shipping magnate's daughter and nude painting event. I couldn't exactly explain, your name wasn't mentioned but who else had two paintings auctioned successfully this year? You were featured on print recently and everyone knows who your dad is!"
The panic, the confusion, I knew, was steadily replacing the blood on my face. My heart rate was soaring in spikes as I handed back Sienna's phone to her, "Show me the article."
There was immediate shaking of her head, "It went up Saturday morning but was deleted sometime in the afternoon."
The Mag?
"So it's deleted now?" I asked slowly.
"That doesn't matter, girl!" Elise shrieked, "The University is already under fire and the dean is trying to crowd-control. It's not just you, Scarlett, it's the whole department that's on blast!"
There was no condemnation on her part. I could understand that Elise wasn't blaming me, at least not completely. But somehow, as she raised her hands to emphasize her speech... it came back to me. Everything she said previously.
"And that whole better late than never thing people like to say? That's a lie. Sometimes, late is never."
I wanted to throw up the meager breakfast I had.
Sienna broke into my thoughts, "I don't understand it though," her forehead was wrinkled as she gazed at me in total confusion, "Why would The Mag suddenly focus on students from our Uni. I get that Scarlett's dad is a big name but you've never been much of a topic..."
I wasn't. Truly, I was never the most attractive topic. People wanted scandal and that was something I stayed away from. At the back of my head, green eyes flashed in warning.
I felt my hands turn to fists at my sides, "Seth. The Thompsons' multi-media owns The Mag. Seth did this."
There was a pause.
What did he want now? Why all of a sudden?
"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" Elise demanded.
"I do."
In fact, I even had an idea of how much more trouble I could be in.
I tried to act calm as I turned to Sienna, "You said it was taken down the same day last Saturday?"
Sienna nodded at me, "But there's something else you need to know. I browsed through the comments before it was taken down. They mentioned your fam—"
"Scarlett Noble?" Three heads turned at the intruder's mocking note. I didn't know this person personally. Average height, black stringy hair, and a fair complexion. And she was chewing bubble gum as she looked down on me.
Elise was the first to glare, "Can't you see we're talking, Monique? You're not invited."
This Monique girl turned to Elise, "And I wasn't talking to you too. So scram. Or tell your friend that she's needed at the dean's office right now." Not waiting for a reply, she walked away. There were still people watching us even though we were hidden against the building's side. They were shamelessly waiting for drama.
"Don't go," Sienna said in a scared whisper. "The dean will kill you if he sees you!"
"Are you crazy? Scarlett can't not go!" Elise replied, "We'll go with you!"
But the noise Sienna made at Elise's statement had me holding Elise back, "No, I'm going in there alone. You guys should head back to class."
Sienna's face colored with both relief and guilt, "Are you sure? Please call us if you need anything."
I smiled for her benefit, "Will do."
Sienna threw her arms around me all of a sudden. I was surprised to see legitimate tears in her eyes, "I don't care what they say about you. We believe in you, Scarlett. Don't let what they said get to you, okay?"
I hugged Sienna back, "Sure thing. I'm fine. It's going to be fine, don't worry."
It was a lie. That was something I would figure out later on. Because nothing was okay. And nothing was going to be okay from that moment on.
Alone, I headed to the dean's office.
I could ignore strangers and their unprecedented judgment. I could ignore their stares and condemnation. I was never one to be affected by words of people who didn't know me and I didn't know in return. It would never be a nobody that would set my peace of mind in flames.
I didn't remember my walk to the dean's office. But I was already knocking at his door. And when it opened, it wasn't a stranger that greeted me.
Daddy.
I was unable to say his name before he made his move.
There was a process, the splitting of my senses as the next thing that happened registered in my brain slowly. The ringing in my ears first at the resounding clap. The stinging of my left cheek as my head snapped to the side. I believe I stumbled a bit too at the impact.
Only after all those three did it sink in that my father had slapped me in the face.
Tears were quickly pooling in my eyes. Then I heard it, the distressed voice of our dean and another voice over my father's.
"Mr. Noble, please—"
"Sir, you have to calm down! She's your daughter—"
A hand lifted to soothe my throbbing cheek. And slowly, surely, I looked at my Daddy. It was a sight I had never seen in my whole life. No composure, no self-respect as Chris, his secretary, held him back from me. There was burning rage in his eyes as he tried to dislodge to steel-hold Chris had on him and come after me.
But there was something else beneath the fiery anger, the molten lava of fury, as my father tried to hurt me. My father, who'd always had a check on his emotions, was hurt. He was so hurt it was painful to look at his face.
My father had assumed the worst.
And I was already crying. Wanting to reach out to him but scared out of my wits to move. Wanting to explain but falling mute.
"Let me at her! Damn it, Christopher!"
The dean, at a loss, had come to my side and was trying to shield me from my father too.
"Daddy," I sobbed, not knowing what to do.
"I am not your father! Otherwise, you wouldn't do this to me!" He screamed, pointing fingers and spit flying with his words, "I gave you everything! I clothed you, fed you, sent you to school! I supported you to the best that I knew!"
And his big body was slumping against his secretary's as if all strength left him.
My hands clung to my dean's body and I wanted to bury my face against his shoulder. I didn't want to see this sight.
"I gave you everything!" he repeated, and in the next words, my father was tugging at his graying blonde hair. His voice was cracking, his whole body shaking, and the incomprehension... he looked so angry and so so so... lost.
Beyond the pain I was feeling, I didn't want strangers to see my dad like this. His deepest fear laid out for all and sundry.
I felt like a child again, facing my daddy in his study. Not being able to do anything as I stared at the only parent I had."Scarlett," the name was ripped from his throat, and traitorous tears, fat appalling beads of saltwater rolled down his face, "I don't understand... how could you turn out exactly like her?"
The saddest part of all was that I understood exactly what he was talking about.
Every word scratched at my ears. It was a stab to to both of us, and if I closed my eyes, I could just picture the pooling of blood at both of our feet. I couldn't even blame him. His soul was howling, the big bad wolf crumbling in front of me as more than a decade's worth of his anguish came to light. He was repeatedly and repeatedly dying inside all those years. All the while, he was pushing me away so I didn't see. And at the back of my mind, I always understood the treatment even if it did hurt.
My dad had never gotten past the betrayal of my mother. And if there was something clear to me after all this time, it was that he loved her so much more than I could ever comprehend.
Enough that he felt like I was resurrecting the betrayal again.
And I knew I couldn't convince him otherwise now.
No matter my innocence on this matter.
That whole thing people say 'better late than never'..?
It was playing out in front of me right now.
It's one a.m. here. Vote. Comment. Fan!
Good night!