Delondon's P.O.V
Last night was so much fun. After dinner we went to the club that David, the tour guide for our boat ride, had invited us too. He was so fine and that accent was gorgeous. We danced all night long. I woke up sore as hell, trying to keep up with these island women was one hell of a workout. I partied to hard last night, I couldn't even wake up this morning. Amor and Amber tried to get out the bed but I wouldn't budge. I told them to go ahead with out me today. Once I had finally gotten out of bed. I took a shower and put on some biker shorts and a plain tee. Walking out my room I could see Micah was still asleep on the couch. I rolled my eyes.
Walking into the kitchen I looked in the fridge to see if it there was anything to eat. It was about 1 in the afternoon and I honesty didn't feel like cooking. I knew there was a nearby restaurant that was in walking distant but I'm not crazy enough to go out by myself in a country that I was not familiar with. I looked into the living room at Micah asleep on the sofa. I sighed. I got three choices. I could starve until Amor and the others get back, risk getting kidnapped by going by myself, or ask the nigga on the sofa to come with me. Yup. I think I'll take my chance.
Walking back into my room, I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my purse. I opened the door to my room and was getting ready to walk out when I came face to face with Micah. "Oh shit" I said grabbing my chest. I was not expecting to see him.
"I thought you were gone with everyone else, so I was just about to take a shower but I can use one of the other ones" he said pointing behind him.
"No, no, no, you're good. You just scared me. I was about to leave anyway" I said squeezing past him. I was almost to the door when he spoke again.
"Where you going" he asked. I rolled my eyes. I was trying hard not to look at him because he had his shirt off and his body has only gotten better. I'm so damn pathetic, who the fuck gets turned on by abs. I turned around and looked him straight in the eye, determined to not let my eyes travel down his body.
"To get some food from the restaurants down the street" I said and I was getting ready to turn around again.
"By yourself" he asked. I just nodded my head. "Well it's ok if I go with you" he asked. I really wanted to say no. "Please, I really would like to talk to you" he said pleading. I sighed and nodded my head. "Ok give me 10 mins" he said with a small smile. I got the urge to slap the fuck out of him. How dare he smile at me with those white perfectly aligned teeth?
I went back into the living room so I could sit down and wait on him. Well this day just keeps getting better and better. I finally started to read my text messages and I saw one from Amor
Amor- Heads up, you're not the only person that didn't get up this morning. Behave we will be pack around 5ish
I rolled my eyes. Now you tell me. It's really my own fault for not reading the message when I first got up. Now I have to listen to what ever it is this nigga got to say. Lord give me patience because if you give me strength I might body slam his ass. Finally, he came out the room.
We took the short walk to the restaurant. Since it was beautiful day and I didn't know if we might cause a scene we chose to sit outside on the patio. We sat in silence, but the tension was loud as hell. I looked around taking in my surroundings, while we wouldn't take it eyes of the menu. It was awkward. I would have much rather took my chances of being kidnapped. Once we gave our order we no longer had our menus to hide behind.
"So how have you been" he asked me. I was about to give some fake ass answer but then anger took over my body.
"Cut the bullshit, and say whatever it is you have to say. I'm not about to sit here and play this game with you" I said frowning. He looked taken back for a second.
"Nah I really want to know how you've been. Especially since Laila's birthday just passed" he said. My anger instantly turned to sadness at the sound of her name. I looked at him for moment. I was trying to figure out if he was genuinely concerned.
"I'm good, dealing with the situation on my own like it's always been" I said with an attitude. I can't believe he feel like he had the right to ask me that.
"You didn't have to go deal with anything alone" he said.
"Yes I did because you were too busy screwing somebody who I called friend"
"YOU LEFT" he screamed out. Luckily, we were the only ones out here on the patio.
"AND LET ME LEAVE" I shot back.
He looked confused "I didn't let you leave, I remember asking you to stay" he said frowning.
I shook my head "I'm not talking about physically. I'm talking about emotionally. Before I even had her, I was gone, and you let me. You watched me every day slip into a depression and you didn't even try to help me. You watched me as a person slip and you didn't try to stop me" I said. Tears were threatened to roll down my face but I cannot let this man see me cry, especially not over his dumb ass.
His eyes had softened "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart, for putting you through so much shit, and about the Jada situation, she really" he started but I cut him off.
"Why can't you just apologize and own up to it, why does it have to be an explanation" I asked getting upset again. For weeks after I found out about him and Jada, he blew my phone up, trying to explain but it's no explanation that can excuse his actions so I don't want to hear it.
"I apologize for it all De, especially that. I feel so horrible when I think about the things I have done to you. The things I put you through I take full responsibility for it all. I broke your heart and that was fucked up and I apologize I hope you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I want nothing in the world for us to be cordial, so we can celebrate the life of our baby girl the right way with each other" he said. A few tears rolled down his face.
"You know I told myself numerous times that I had forgiving you but when I found out you was coming on this trip, every ill feeling I've ever had came rushing back. You really fucked me up." I said letting some tears of my own fall. Goddamn you weak bitch.
"I would apologize a million times, just to make things right. I have no excuses for the things I did but I know for a fact that I'm a better man. The man I used to be was not worthy of your forgiveness, but I stand here today as better man telling you that I was wrong and I apologize and if you never speak to me again as long as you could find it in your heart to forgive me I will be at peace and I know you would be at peace as well." He finished. Before I could respond the waitress had brought our food.
I quickly dried my eyes and I could see the waitress look at me with a concerned look. I gave her small smile and thanked her for the food.
"I've wanted nothing more than to forgive you" I started off saying. "I accept your apology but that forgiveness, that's going to take time.". After I said that we ate in silence.
I had all types of thoughts running through my head. I honestly had planned to pretend this man didn't exist for the rest of my life or until it was time to face him and I guess the time is now. "If I could go back in time, I'd take it all back. I would have left you alone, seems like I've done nothing but ruined your life" he said getting up and walking away. I didn't know where he was going but I had a feeling he would be back.
I sat there by myself eating my food for what felt like a life time, but it was only five minutes. Micah sat back down and continued eating his food. We paid and we left. We were now walking back to the house in complete silence. I thought about what he said. If he could go back in time he would have left me alone. The comment made me a little sad. Micah has put me through a lot but I wouldn't have learned half of the lesson and I would have never had the pleasure of meeting my little angel, although she only stayed in my life for a minute.
"It's hard" I said as we walked along side each other. Micah looked at me with confusion written on his face. "At the restaurant you asked how I've been, especially since Laila's third birthday just passed recently and it's hard. To think I'm supposed to have a three year old daughter walking this earth, it's a hard feeling to cope with" I said, letting one single tear fall.
Micah nodded his head in understanding "Yea you know I feel the same way. I'm supposed to be a dad but I don't even talk to the woman who had my child" he said looking down.
I stopped walking and moved to stand in front of him "It makes me angry to hear you say that because you weren't there. Where were you?" I asked. Micah came to hospital about 30 minutes after I found out that my daughter didn't make it. I never asked him where he was, but I always wondered. He looked at me and lifted his shirt and pointed to the left side of his chest. I looked at saw my name as well as Laila's named tatted right in the center of a heart.
"I was getting this tattoo, I had planned on surprising you when I got home that night, I knew you wasn't really feeling like yourself and I hope this would have made you feel better" he said with tears coming down his eyes. I just looked at him. I really didn't know what to feel in this moment. I had been holding anger towards him because he wasn't there when he should have been. "My phone was on vibrate and I just didn't hear it. I always feel bad knowing that I wasn't there"
"Yea me too" I said as started back walking. He grabbed my arm to stop me.
"Come on, we talking and that's all I want. It's time to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Right here. We don't need to leave this trip not being able to at least speak when we come across each other" he said. I hate to say it but he's right. It's been three years at some point the conversation has to be had.
So instead heading right back to the house we took a walk and just talked. It was refreshing to talk to someone who felt some of the same pain I felt when it came to losing a child. We both were going through the same shit but I was being stubborn not realizing we really could have leaned on each other, even without being in a relationship.
"You want to know something weird" I asked once we were finally walking back to the house. He nodded his head "I see her, like I have this dream where this little girl comes and she just talks to me and it's her. It doesn't happen to often just on days where I really feel like giving up. It gives me this peace and this boost I need to continue going" I said. The only person I've ever told this to is my mom.
"That's cool but I think mine is weirder. The baby picture I have of her framed literally comes to life and speaks to me" he said. I rolled my eyes while laughing.
"You need to stop smoking that shit" I said causing both of us the laugh.
"Nah but I'm foreal . The picture doesn't come to life but it does speak to me" he said. I nodded in understanding. We were finally back at the house and it was almost 5. The others would be back any moment now. I was getting ready to walk into the house when I turned around to look at him.
"The other bed is yours, you paid your money like everyone else you shouldn't have to sleep on the sofa. Sorry for being petty" I said. I wasn't that 19-year-old girl anymore. It was time for me to be more mature. Just this one conversation aloe with Micah has really shown me that he has indeed grown as a man. We decided to work towards a friendship, nice platonic friendship.
"Oh, and Micah, next time I catch your creepy ass listening in to my phone conversation, we will have a problem" his eyes widened. Yup. I knew he listened in on my conversation with Trey yesterday. I gave him a small smile and walked in the house. Shortly after the others came in from their day out.
"Omg I'm so tired" Amor said flopping down on the sofa.
"It was fun though" Amber said. They had went on a hike through the jungle. I'm glad I didn't go. Nature is beautiful from afar.
"Yea ya'll smell like you had fun" I said backing away from them. They smelled like outside. Amor rolled her eyes before sitting up
"How was your day" she asked.
"It was good actually" I said with a small smile.
"Where's Micah? You didn't kill him did you" Tonio asked. He walked into the living room passing out water bottles.
I laughed at him. "No he's taking a nap in the room" I said looking back at the T.V. It was quiet and everyone looked at me.
"Um...did we miss something" Amor asked, after she stopped choking on her water. I laughed.
"We just had a real adult conversation and I realized I was being petty by making him sleep on the sofa, and that's all to it". Everyone continued to look at me oddly.
"I'm going to go make sure he still breathing, y'all watch her" Chris said going into the room. I laughed. Damn they really think I'm crazy.
After they all were convinced that I didn't hurt Micah we all go ready to go to dinner. After dinner we came back to the house and got in the pool and had some drinks. Oh, and we found somebody to sell us a little tree, if you know what I mean.
Finally, about 2a.m I was ready to go to sleep. I took a shower and dressed in my night wear and I was in the bed half asleep. Micah came in and got in his bed.
"I really appreciate the conversation today" he said as he laid there.
"Mhmm" I said. I was tired and sleep was near.
"Do you believe in right person wrong timing?" he asked. It sounded like he was deep in thought. I sighed.
"Micah keep talking and your ass going back on the sofa" I said. He was disturbing me. I could here him chuckle and then he said some more words but I couldn't quite make them out and then just like that sleep consumed me.