Random_Elf: @DaughterOfGondor ? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!
@DaughterOfGondor: Well, I have another dare, and I want to deliver it.
Random_Elf: Oooooh! Dares dares dares. I've really loves the last few I got. They were amazing.
@DaughterOfGondor: *whispers in Random_Elf's pointed ear*
Random_Elf: *smiles* Oh, yeah. *high fives @DaughterOfGondor *
@DaughterOfGondor: Well, I must be off. *swings onto beautiful chestnut Arabian horse and pulls out sword strait ahead of her* FOR GONDOR!!!!
Random_Elf: Gollum! Were you complaining you weren't in the last chapter much?
Gollum: Yes precious.
Random_Elf: Well the wait is over! I have another DARE. Actually a bajillion.
Gollum: No questions does they asks us precious. No never any questions...
Random_Elf: @kittygirlmoo dared me almost the same thing as @DaughterOfGondor, but the three of us are the three musketeers or something. So in this chapter, I'm killing 2 birds with one stone.
Gollum: Nice crunchable birdses...
Random_Elf: You have to steal Sam's PO-TAY-TOES, replace them with fish and EAT THEM. WHILE Legolas distracts Sam.
Gollum: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Random_Elf: YAAAAAS!
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Random_Elf: All of them. C'mon. Every last one.
Gollum: Ew!!! It's slimy!
Random_Elf: No, not really. Look *picks up potato* looks yummy.
Gollum: No it doesn't. THESE LOOK YUMMY!!!! *shoves entire slimy, raw fish face first into his mouth and chews with mouth open*
Random_Elf: I bet my readers are gagging. Close your left hand into a fist and use your fingers to press your thumb into your palm. It reduces gagging reflex. ✊ Kinda like that.
Gollum: Okay! We is through with these potatoses.
Random_Elf: Good job. Now we eat them.
Gollum: It's helping me?
Random_Elf: Oops. I mean you. Sam won't be occupied much longer!
Little voice across the room: What are you doing with my daddy's potatoes?
Random_Elf: *gasp* *turns around to see little Eleanor*
Eleanor: Are you stealing them? Aunty Random_Elf is that you? Why does it smell like fish?
She obviously used my elvish name.
Random_Elf: We um, just got the job of the Mayor's potato tester.
Eleanor: What's a potato tester? And who's that guy?
Random_Elf: He's. my. Boss. Yeah. And a potato tester is a person who observes the Mayor's potatoes and makes sure they are, um, safe to eat. Sam's potatoes are not. So we're taking them back to the. Um. Potato factory to replace them.
Eleanor: Does my dad know you're here?
Random_Elf: No. Random checks. So no one will hide contaminated potatoes.
Eleanor: I see. I can keep a secret.
Random_Elf: *puts finger to lips* Shhhhh...
Eleanor: *puts finger to lips* Shhhhh...
Gollum: *puts finger to lips* Shut up.
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Random_Elf: That was CLOSE! I wonder if Legolas kept Sam occupied.
Legolas: Oh I did. *limps through portal*
Random_Elf: What happened to you!?!? *notices black eye, bruises everywhere, cuts, bite marks and more* Is that even possible for an elf? I don't think it is.
Legolas: I didn't either. I didn't think little hobbits had that kind of strength.
Random_Elf: Yup. That's what PJ said on Weathertop...
Legolas: Can- can I write my account of this on your tiny typing box?
Random_Elf: Sure, if it'll make you feel better. *hands him phone*
Random_Elf's thoughts: Less work for me!
Legolas: *clicks home button suspiciously* =-O WHAT IS THIS MAGIC?
Random_Elf: *facepalms*