Done with the washing, we haul the seeping wet clothes back to camp and I'm surprised to see that not only have all five tents been pitched, but Crispin and Amiri have returned with wood and have gotten a fire started.
"Look at these dawdlers," Amiri teases, glancing at Laria with a sultry eyes. "Did you wash my skivvies too?"
Laria smirks and sets the heavy bag down of clothes, getting out a rope to dry them out. "Why? Worried that I'd see your shit stains?"
We all burst out into laughter—including Darko—as Amiri's tanned face falls into a frown, proving that there is some truth to her words which makes it all the more funny. "You drive me crazy, woman," he mutters, sitting down on the ground.
As everyone gets settled in, Laria and I string up the rope by tying each end to a trunk before draping the wet clothes over to dry and then lay out the damp clothes from the rain as well.
"Salted pork?" Crispin offers, handing me a strip.
"Thank you," I say, taking it and making a point to keep space in between us by the fire—a weak attempted that the allotted distance will keep my feelings for him at bay.
As Amiri begins telling us a funny story that occurred in his homeland, I can't help but let my eyes drift to where Crispin sits. He is lounging on his side, bruised and battered, but still remaining handsome. The stubble on his chin casts shadows on his impeccable jaw and I have to admit, he can pull off the rugged look rather easily.
His shirt hangs low, revealing the smooth skin of his chest, and when he leans forward to retrieve another slice of pork, I can see straight down to his navel which is encircled with dark hair. He catches me and my eyes flit back to the fire, but it's too late.
"Why what's this? Little miss I-wish-to-be-friends is stealing glances, hmm?" he teases in a low voice that only I can hear.
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. "I was only making sure you weren't going to catch your shirt on fire," I lie. "You ought to be more careful."
He throws his head back and laughs, "And I turn into a horned turtle every night," he counters. He then smirks and leans over to me, placing his lips only an inch from my ear. "I don't mind if you look Cora. Just remember, all you have to do is make the first move," his whispers in a husky voice. I feel his breath brush against me and my eyes widen, causing me to jerk my neck away.
"How about you don't do that again?" I whisper back, both annoyed and excited by the simple gesture. "You are making things harder than they have to be."
Amiri's story ceases and I feel three pairs of eyes watch the two of us closely.
Sighing, he leans back to his former position and shrugs, now speaking at his normal volume. "Aye, maybe I am. But trust me, I'm hardly trying so don't tempt me to make things even harder," he says, quoting the last bit with his fingers.
Growling, I look over to Laria who simply gives me a half shrug and wags her eyebrows.
"How did things change so quickly between us?" I think, thinking of Crispin's cool emerald eyes. One day he can't stand me, the next we are friends, and then now he fancies me? Scoffing to myself, I shake my head and bite into the salted pork.
"So, I know now might be the best time, but would any of you like some ale?" Darko asks, pulling out a rather large water skin.
Laria frowns, "So you can drug us again? No thank you," she spits.
"If it makes you feel any better, drugging you was not my idea. I only joined the slaving business because it pays rather well—never said I enjoyed it," he explains.
"Take the first sip then," Amiri says skeptically, raising a dark eyebrow. Darko smirks and takes three long gulps before coming back for air. "Give it here then," he says, holding out his hand. He tilts his head back causing his long hair that he usually keeps in a braid to fall loosely over his shoulders and blows in the evening breeze.
"Do you honestly trust this man?" Laria asks him, sounding shocked.
Amiri eyes the slaver, taking in his large burly figure who is clad in leather armor. "About as far as I can throw him. But considering he did just take the first drink and I'd say tonight calls for a moment to celebrate, why not," he says with a shrug before handing her the waterskin. She turns her nose away causing him to frown.
His hazel gazes then focuses on me. "Cora? Don't make me drink alone," he encourages, jiggling the container. I hear it slosh inside the container and I sigh, grabbing it from his hand. If the four of use deserve anything, I'd say one night worry free enjoying each other's company isn't so much to ask for.
Unscrewing the cap, I tilt my head back and drink the liquid, enjoying the taste of ale for once. "That's good," I say, wiping my mouth on my wrist and handing it to Crispin, "What's in it?"
Darko gives a soft smile and begins twisting his thick beard into a braid. "It's blueberry ale from Corrine that we got a while back. Loved it so much it's just about the only thing I will drink," he tells me.
"Hmph, a slaver with a knack for fine wine," Laria mutters.
He rolls his eyes and continues working on his beard. "What, do you expect us to drink the tears of children and the blood of our enemies?" he asks sarcastically.
Laria purses her lips, her eyes tightening. "Something like that."
Crispin takes a long sip before handing it back to Darko. As for me, I can already feel the effects after a few moments pass considering I haven't eaten that much today. A potent sweet ale is a combination asking for trouble so I make a mental note to pace myself.
"So what's your story, Darko," Amiri asks, mocking his name. "Where do you hail from?"
"Well, my family used to live in Kovia until the pox hit us, wiping everyone but my brother and myself out. We never got along so rather than living together in an empty house, I left home and tried to make an honest living as a blacksmith. Thing was, I'm a poor black smith," he says with a chuckle, "I then drifted trying to find work where I could until Jasper found me in a farmer's market, said he specialized in horse thieving and that it'd paid well. We did that for a few months until we met a Rorik on the road who said that they were looking for workers, promising that the money would be worth the trouble. Ran with him ever since," he finishes.
"You say you don't like slaving? Why stick with it? Was it really worth the money?" Crispin asks, sitting up and resting his elbows on top of his knees, "Handing all those people over and sentencing to a life of captivity?"
Darko shrugs, tying the braid in his beard off with a silver clasp. His grey eyes focusing on the dancing flames of the fire. "At first it was. But after a year of watching people being auctioned off it started getting old and weighing on my heart. In truth, I was looking for a way out but anyone that tries to leave gets killed. Can't risk the nature of the business I suppose," he says. "So I did what I could to make it bearable. I made sure to treat those we caught with respect and show compassion when able if that meant that their lives were somewhat easier, even if it was for a short while."
"Sounds like you were somewhat of a slave yourself," I state, the words leaving my lips before I can stop them. "Sorry," I say, averting my gaze."
He gives a nod and a grin, "That's one way of putting it lass."
The sun then sets and soon the waterskin is halfway empty. My brain is foggy and a strange sense of déjà vu washes over me as I recollect the memories of the night we were taken. My stomach bubbles and I fear soon the ale will make its reappearance—so much for taking it easy. Everyone is laughing at some joke—even Laria—but my smile falters as I try to shake the memories away. "It won't happen again. You're safe," I think.
"Are you alright?" Crispin asks, the smell of ale on his breath. He has somehow scooted close to me during the night to where our thighs are constantly touching. The fire crackles and pops, sending glowing embers swirling into the night air.
Blinking, I slowly shake my head. "I think I'm done drinking for a while," I say.
He chuckles and playfully bumps me with his shoulder, "Why's that? Can't hold your drink?" he teases.
Sighing, I allow myself to lean against his shoulder and he holds up my weight—partly because doing so myself takes too much energy and partly because I enjoy the warmth his body gives mine. "I can't stop thinking about the last time we all sat around drinking," I admit. "That and my head is starting to spin."
He turns to look at me, his face serious. "Cora you know I won't let anything happen to you, right? Not again." His eyes look into mine with such intensity that I have to turn away, focusing on the fire instead.
"I know. It's just that my brain won't shut off and allow me enjoy the moment is all," I say. "Do you have any water?" I ask, knowing that my body needed the hydration.
"Afraid not. We never filled up the other waterskins. I can go get some if you'd like," I offers.
Shaking my head, I push myself off the ground, stumbling backwards. "Woah," I mutter. "No, I can do it," I say, my eyes searching the encampment for water.
"Be a doll and bring some for me too, would you?" Amiri asks, his head resting in Laria's lap as he gazes up at the night sky through the tree tops. She runs her fingers through his soft hair, a content look on her face. Nodding, I turn around and see that Crispin has collected the containers and waits for me to follow him.
I don't enjoy being babysat, but knowing I could use his help, I don't object. We set off into the dark woods which are dimly lit by the moon and I lead him as best as I can to the water, my feet catching on rocks and roots. He steadies me once, making some joke about having two left feet but honestly I was hardly paying attention as the need to retch arises.
Reaching the river's edge, I bend down and unscrew the cap, filling up the waterskin. It is when I move onto the second when I can no longer fight off the queasiness and I quickly turn to my left, vomiting out the ale and salted pork.
"Here," Crispin says, collecting my hair and holding it for me. "You'd kill me in the morning if I let you get puke in your hair," he chuckles.
"How did I get so drunk?" I ask out loud before heaving once again. "Aren't you like the rest of us?" I ask, remembering Amiri and Darko's bloodshot eyes, signaling that they too were drunk.
"Because I had a feeling you'd get like this and would need some help, so I stopped drinking about half an hour ago while the three of you gobbled it down like fish. You also haven't eaten much to soak up the wine," he says lightly.
I vomit again and lean back to where he supports me with his chest, wiping my mouth off with my hands. "Ugh, this is horrible," I say in a pitiful tone.
"Let me rinse your hands off," Crispin offers, grabbing them gently before slowly pouring out water from his waterskin onto my hands. He then coaxes a few sips into me, instructing me to rinse out my mouth. I do and then spit it out onto the pile of bile, standing up.
"I'm sleepy," I say, knowing I need to call it a night. "I think I'm going to head back and get some rest," I say, turning around to leave. I don't see the large branch on the ground though and it sends me crashing into a pile of ferns. Groaning, I roll over and slowly open my eyes, trying to focus on the thousands of stars in the sky that seem to slowly spin up above.
"Need help up?" he asks me, offering his hand.
"I think I'll just lay here for a while," I say as my head begins to pound. The thought of walking all the way back causes my stomach to ache again and I know that it will be a while before I'm able to get back up.
I hear him sigh and he takes a seat next to me before laying down on his back. Even though he is only a few inches away, I feel the heat from his body and wish he'd scoot closer. Crickets chirp while in the distance an owl gives a low hoot.
"It's nice out here," I say, closing my eyes.
A few moments pass before Crispin speaks, "You know, I never really stopped to look at the stars before we left Paevia. I didn't really care what was up there I guess," he tells me. "Never had the time to care about anything, really."
Opening my eyes, I tilt my head towards him, looking at him from the corner of my eye. The moonlight has bleached his tanned face a pale white and his dark eyebrows cast long shadows over his beautiful face.
"You must be really busy back at home," I say. "Tell me about it," I suggest.
"About my home?" he asks me, sounding confused. Nodding, I mouth "mhm" and he gives a quick snort. "Okay, well you've been inside the palace though briefly," he teases, nudging me. The quick touch leaves me wanting more and I nudge closer until out arms are pressed against one another. Closing my eyes, I allow myself to listen and paint his words into pictures inside my mind.
"Even with all the hustle and bustle, it's rather a lonely place—especially since Rose has been gone. She usually fills the halls with her music...she enjoys playing the cello," he says.
I'm not sure what a cello is as I've never heard of the instrument. Living the life of a commoner—or a thief no less—you miss out on many things such as music, plays, and other fine arts. While trying to earn a bite to eat, one tends to forget about polishing up on their sophistication and culture.
Crispin exhales and continues, "My days usually consist of waking up at dawn, eating breakfast, and training in the court yard till sundown when there aren't important meetings I have to attend. At night," he pauses, unsure if he should finish.
"It's okay. I already assumed," I say, trying not to picture the multiple women that has kept his bed warm on countless of nights.
"Does that bother you?" he asks after a silent moment.
"No," I lie, before biting my lip. "You're gorgeous so it's safe to presume women go crazy over you," I say with a sigh. "And being a prince probably helps your case out a lot too," I add.
He chuckles and turns his head to the side to face me. "Someone sound's a bit jealous," he teases which earns a scowl. "It's okay though, all those women were nothing but distractions. I've never cared for any of them," he says, "I mean, you know how it is."
My eyes dart around the night sky as he assumes I've had partner's myself just as he. "Oh, um, right. I know how it is," I tell him.
He then smirks and nudges my thigh with his knee before he sits up. "You're lying to me aren't you? It's fine if you are, Cora. I find it...endearing," he says lightly.
Scoffing, I close my eyes and shake my head. "Okay I'm lying," I say, finally resorting to the truth. "It's not like I haven't wanted to—I'm human after all, and there were opportunities—but I can't imagine being so," I trail, trying to find the right word, "Intimate with someone I suppose. To give yourself to someone and share all your flaws seems terrifying, not to mention awkward come morning time. I've always believed that such intimate moments should only be shared with someone you truly care about," I admit.
Crispin chuckles again and nods, "It can be awkward at times, but I've never thought of it that way. For me it has always been something of lust—nothing more. In truth, it's never been personal in a sense. They have what I want and vice versa," he explains, "Perhaps mirroring a business trade even. But the way you describe it, well, I can see why you've waited."
"So moving on," I say casually, not particularly enjoying the conversation as it leaves me feeling both awkward and rattled, my face flushed with embarrassment.
In the pale moonlight I see his full lips form a smirk and he lays back down beside me, "How are you feeling?" he asks.
My eyes flutter close as I think this over. My head throbs with each heartbeat and I'm afraid if I stand up I'll fall over again. "Not very well," I admit.
Pushing himself up onto his knees, he bends down. "Here, let's get you in bed," he says, scooping me up as if I weigh nothing. I want to protest and insist that I walk myself, but even this small motion causes the world to wobble around me.
Instead, I snake my arms around his neck and rest my head against his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. The short journey to camp seems to take double the amount of time but I don't complain as heat radiates from his body, keeping me warm.
Another wave of nausea washes over me as we reach camp and I fight to control it. Slowly opening my eyes, I see that Laria and Darko have already gone to bed with Amiri remaining by the fire.
"Crispin my friend! About time you made it back. Come join me," he says, his words slurring as he waves him over with a tanned hand.
"In a moment, I have to get this thing to bed," Crispin says, lifting me up slightly. I then feel him turn and make his way to my tent, before silently slipping inside. He then bends down and lays me on my bedroll before pulling my wool blanket over me.
"I'll bring you some water," he says, ducking out in the tent once more. He returns to the river to collect the waterskins and return moments later, sitting a container beside me. After slipping off my boots, and stands before ducking out one last time.
Even though my head pounds with ever heart beat I can't help but miss his company already. This feeling catches me off-guard and I decide to blame it on my drunkenness, squeezing my eyes shut as I focus on not throwing up again.
"What as all that about?" I hear Amiri ask outside.
Crispin laughs and I imagine him shaking his head. "Cora had a bit too much to drink," he answers.
"How is she? I mean dealing with everything that's happened? Laria says she seems okay," Amiri says.
I know it is wrong to eavesdrop on their conversation, but I can't help but to listen in.
Crispin sighs and I hear him walk around, throwing another long onto the fire causing it to pop. "I think she puts on a brave face for everyone. It bothers her what almost happened, rightfully so. I mean who could blame her?" he pauses, his voice dropping an octave. "If it were up to me I would have skinned them alive; monsters the lot of them. They got off too easy."
Amiri scoffs, "You and me both. Did she tell you how she got away?" he asks. There's a pause before he continues. "She tore his throat out with her teeth. At least that's what I'm guessing. Found his body in the cabin this morning before we cleared out," he says.
Something inside me stirs though I'm not sure what. Anxiety at the resurfaced memory? Fear that they will look at me in a new light as if I too am a monster? Betrayal as if one of my closest friends is gossiping about me? No. I know he only shares this with good intentions.
"Hm," Crispin hums and I can't help worry about what he is thinking. "Well hopefully he died slowly," he says, "How is Laria?"
Amiri lets out an exaggerated exhale and I picture him running a hand through his exotic hair. "Rightfully so, I'd say she's shaken up m quite a bit as well. I think it's given her even more fire though. I mean did you see her last night?" he asks rhetorically, referring to how she inhumanly cut down her foes. "How's the eye?"
"Stings but it's not as bad as this morning. Should be able to see out of it in the next day or so," I hear Crispin reply.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Amiri says, testing his sight.
I hear Crispin scoff, "Just because I've lost my vision in one eye doesn't mean the other has stopped working," he deadpans.
I picture Amiri giving him a shrug. "Cora think you are even uglier?" he teases, and I hear him clap Crispin on the arm playfully.
He chuckles, "Who knows. I know she's attracted to me—poor thing can't help it," he jests before becoming serious, "But unfortunately she wishes to just be friends. The problem is is that I want to be more," he admits.
At this, my eyes slowly open and through the canvas of the tent, I see their shadows are cast on the wall as the fire flickers before them. I knew he was interested in me, but to hear him admit out loud that he wishes to be more than friends to a confidant brings a small smile to my face.
"Crispin," Amiri tuts, "Forgive me but you don't seem like the type to be in a relationship. Cora isn't a plaything, she's a girl that wears her heart on her sleeve."
At this I slightly smirk, forgetting the throbbing in my head. "I do not," I think.
"I know. Before her, commitment was the last thing I wanted with a woman but she's...I don't know. It's hard to explain the feelings when you don't quite understand them yourself. She's different. Real, if that makes sense," Crispin says. "And now that I'm coming to terms with what she means to me, commitment seems so easy and I'd welcome it even."
There is a pause and I see two shadows turn my way towards my tent. "Do you think she can hear us?" Amiri asks.
"Considering how drunk she was I'm sure she's passed out by now," Crispin says, and the two return their focus to the fire. It pops once again and I relax, knowing that I haven't gotten caught for eavesdropping.
"Cora is a different type of girl than the ones you are used to, my friend. She doesn't care about riches or fame or her social status. If you want to win her over, you have to act as if you simply do not care," Amiri tells him.
At this I have to roll my eyes as that is just about the worst advice I have ever heard. What girl would be more attracted to a man who treats her like a pile of rubbish?
I see Crispin's shadow tilt his head back and let out a loud, clear laugh. "Sorry Amiri but that has to be just about the worst advice I've ever been given. Besides, aren't you Acadian's supposed to be an honest breed?" he teases.
"I've been more transparent about my feelings than you, sweet prince," he says mockingly, "Have I not made it clear to Laria that I was interested in her from the moment we left your homeland? I've treated her like the fine lady she is."
Crispin scoffs and I see his figure lean forward towards Amiri, resting his weight on his thigh, "Did you forget that you had asked her to sleep with you to save money at a brothel or did you simply have a stroke?"
The two then fall into a fit of laughter and I can't help but to crack a grin myself, ignoring the nausea that still lingers.
After the two settle down, Amiri lean's in as well and I rest my eyes in an attempt to try and make the confines of my tent to stop spinning.
"What do you plan on doing after all this?" I hear him ask.
Crispin exhales and I picture his emerald eyes gazing into the brilliant orange flames, "What can say? I know I should go back to Paevia and resume my position as prince, but another part of me enjoys traveling with you three. I'll surely miss it," he says. "Father wants me to settle down soon, says I need to put away childish things. I thought I did when I agreed on this journey, but I have a feeling when I get back that he will expect more of me, possibly even marriage. Neither of my brothers have wives, he lets them skate by due to their war efforts—for now anyhow."
My mind can't help but picture Crispin dressed in fancy clothes waiting at an altar for a woman who doesn't deserve him. A woman who, like he, is forced to be bound in matrimony or perhaps only want's him for the title. Regardless, he deserves better, a chance to choose who he spends the rest of his life with.
"If you don't want to get married than put your foot down. It's your life and future—not everything belongs to your father," I hear Amiri state.
"Easier said than done. In truth, I have no wish to get married; unless I find the right woman," Crispin says matter-of-factly.
"And have you not done that already? Seems to me that she's your perfect match," I hear Amiri say slyly.
Crispin sighs again and I hear him wince as he stands up. "Perhaps. I'm not saying I wouldn't entertain the idea, but if it had to be someone, I'd pick her...or someone like her at the very least. It'd be easy loving her," he admits. "Well, I'm off to bed, goodnight my friend."
I hear Amiri get up as well, grunting as his sore muscles protest. "Aye, me too. Goodnight, see you in the morning."
Their heavy feet walk across the camp and I can't help but dwell on their conversation. Did he really care that much for me? Could he see himself loving me one day? Enough to be his wife? I then think about how I saw him, without the walls I tried desperately to keep intact to guard my heart. He's dangerously handsome of course, but as I've gotten to know him these past few months, I know that there's more to him than just good looks. He's funny, loyal, strong, protective, and has a good heart. He cares deeply for those he loves—including his sister and friends—and appears to do anything for them as well, regardless of what the outcome is for his own wellbeing.
I think of the night in Ipswitch, seeing the busty woman who nibbled on his neck and pawed at his body. How she shoved his face in her cleavage and reveled in his company. Never again do I wish to have to endure watching that, or even think about him being with another woman for that matter.
Suddenly, I'm hot with jealously and sit up.
Knowing what I want, I take a long drag from the water skin and push myself out of my bedroll, ducking out of my tent. I didn't bother putting my boots on so I pat over to his tent barefoot, the needles of the evergreens pricking my feet.
Pausing at the entrance of his tent, I take a steadying breath and poke my head inside. "Crispin?" I whisper, seeing his form laying on his bedroll.
"Cora? Is everything alright? Did you get sick again?" he asks, pushing myself up onto his elbows.
"No, I, um" I begin, sitting down beside him to where our eyes our level. The orange glow of the fire gives us just enough light to where I can make out his striking features and I look down at his lips. "What exactly did I come here for?" I think.
Images of the tavern wench flashes in my mind and I'm reassured of myself once again. "I came here to do this," I whisper, and lean forward, placing my cold hands on each side of his face. I bring our lips together, letting mine brush against his. He tastes sweet and warm and I want more, so I press against him harder, inhaling his scent.
To my surprise, he pulls away, his face filled with surprise, longing, and...disappointment?
"Cora no," he says, shaking his head.
"What's wrong?" I ask, confused and feeling rejected, my hands slipping from his face.
"You're drunk. I can't, it's wrong," he explains to me.
Frowning, I shake my head, "So what? I know what I'm doing, Crispin. I didn't come here to sleep with you if that's what you're thinking; only to kiss you I suppose. I was eavesdropping on you and Amiri—I know it was wrong of me but..." I trail off, piecing together what I have to say in my mind.
"I've decided that I no longer wish to be just friends. And if we are to die on this journey, I'd rather do so knowing I won't regret not allowing myself to be free with you," I say. "The rest we can just figure out along the way."
He purses his full lips, thinking my words over and looks up at me through is long, dark eyelashes. "Are you sure?"
Nodding, I give him a half smile and lean in to him once again, pleased that this time he allows me to. Getting lost in his lips, I scoot closer and run my fingers through his hair, realizing just how soft it is. When the tent starts to spin again, I pull away and look close my eyes, hoping it would calm my stomach.
"You still feel sick don't you?" he asks amused. I give him a small nod and hear him chuckle. "Here, let's get some sleep," he says, laying down and pulling me next to him. I don't object and allow him to throw his blanket over me. Resting my head on his chest, he leans down and places a gentle kiss on my temple.
His rhythmic breathing his soothing and I let myself fall quickly asleep, hoping that I wouldn't have any regrets in the morning.