Day 33
"How was your date?" Courtney asked, steaming some milk after the morning rush had finished.
"What?" I asked, throwing away some of the excess trash on the counter.
"Last night," she said with an impatient look. "With Fletcher."
"How do you know about that?"
"Fletcher told John, John told me."
I gave her a weird look.
"John and I have been quite close for a while now. Plus word spreads like wild fire around here. You'll get used to it."
"Oh," I muttered, sorting the money in my register even though it was already sorted.
"Fletcher said it was great."
"Hmm," I murmured.
"Apparently he couldn't stop talking about it,"
"Hmm," I repeated, busying myself aimlessly with a rag.
"Jamie."
I finally peeked at Courtney, who was staring blatantly at me. I asked, "What?"
She tossed her long, braided blonde hair behind her shoulder and sighed loudly. "Whatever. Don't talk about your feelings for Fletcher. We all know they're there though."
Silently, I focused on my cleaning.
A few more customers came in, since it was just after noon. Once they were helped, I said to Courtney, "It was nice."
I could feel her looking at me even though she didn't say anything. She was waiting.
"It was sweet," I disclosed, loud enough for only her to hear. "And..."
"And," she urged and I realized I had been lost in thought. I had momentarily forgotten where I was. I was lost in the previous night. I was lost in the burn in my lungs. I was completely, and utterly, lost.
"Perfect," I finished. Our eyes met and I quickly looked away. "Too perfect."
"Listen, Jamie," she said finally. "If there's one thing I can say to you, its that Fletcher is a fucking crazy boy. He's goofy and closed off but he has a side to him that few people have seen. And in the past few weeks I can tell he's trying to show you that side of him."
I swallowed extra hard when my breath caught in my throat.
"He's hooked up with quite a few girls in the past couple of years," Courtney confessed, being straight with me. "I've seen him with them. And you--"
She walked over and grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at her. "You're different to him, Jamie."
I pulled out of her grasp. "I hear you. I just don't get it. I mean--I just...I'm just average."
Courtney burst out laughing. "Oh, Jamie. Trust me. You aren't average."
~ ~ ~
Day 36
"You better be there tonight," Lucy said sternly, pointing at me.
"Maybe," I muttered quietly, mostly hoping they didn't hear. Courtney did though, since she wasn't far from me behind the counter of the Beach Brew.
"I'll drag your ass there again," she threatened, throwing a dirty rag at me.
I barely dodged it. "Jeez, alright."
"I'll be fun," Lucy assured me. "I won't pass out I swear."
"Oh god," Courtney scoffed. "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Listen, Jamie, go for me, okay? Kyle and I have been in a fight all week and I need someone there to keep me sane."
"If I had a nickel for every time I heard that," Lucy shot back.
It was another Friday, and that meant another night at Kyle's. I had texted Fletcher a bit this week, but hadn't talked to him about his plans for the night. I figured he would be at Kyle's.
Not like where he was mattered.
Either way, Courtney and Kyle were off again. Apparently Kyle instigated it this time though. According to Courtney, he flipped out on her and said he was over her the previous weekend. They hadn't talked since.
"Please," Courtney begged.
"Fine," I sighed. "I'll go."
Lucy squealed and clasped her hands together. We made plans to meet at Lucy's after Courtney and I closed the Beach Brew.
Lucy was just about to leave when John and Fletcher walked in for their afternoon break. I went to make hot chocolates, but Courtney stopped me and gave me a look. I huffed at her and then went over to the bar area where the boys were seated next to Lucy.
"Are y'all going to Kyle's tonight?" Lucy asked,
"Of course," John said nonchalantly, and Lucy huffed in response. I wasn't paying much attention though since Fletcher was staring right at me.
I couldn't ignore him. "What?"
"Nothing," he murmured,
I tried to playfully smack him, but he caught my hand in his in the air, grasping onto it. I narrowed my eyes at him.
Courtney placed the hot chocolates in front of them and Fletcher let go of my hand, immediately hypnotized by the drink in front of him. He sipped it happily, glancing and winking at me every once in a while.
My phone began to buzz in my apron and I quickly glanced at it.
INCOMING CALL: MOM
I stepped aside from the others, where Courtney and Lucy were in a conversation about shopping plans, and answered.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey, dear," my mother's voice rang through the phone.
"Is everything okay?"
She hesitated on the other end.
"What is it?"
"She left."
I breathed in deeply. "What?"
"She left rehab."
My eyes watered, my breath wavered. I ran my hand through my hair. "Is she with you?"
"No," my mom whispered. "We have no idea."
I shut my eyes and felt my hand clasp tighter around the phone. "You're joking."
"No," she repeated. "Jamie. Please. Call her."
I ran my fingers through my hair and stared down at the dark tiled floor. "Mom..."
"Please, Jamie," she said, her voice cracking desperately. "Please."
I completely lost my breath. It was gone. It was somewhere else.
I was suffocating.
"Jamie?" I heard Fletcher's voice yell.
My knees gave out. I felt my head hit the tile. My vision blurred. My head spun.
And then everything stopped.
~ ~ ~
"Happy thirteenth birthday, baby J," she squealed, wrapping me in her long arms and squeezing me.
The candles on my cake blew out in the wind.
Wish gone.
She pulled away from me, her blonde hair covering her defined face. "I'm so happy we're sisters."
And then she turned around and became the center of attention in the crowd of middle schoolers. That I called her friends. That she called our friends.
A cute boy named Calvin approached me as I watched Rory take over the crowd. He said kindly, "Happy birthday, Jamie."
"Thanks," I said, sipping on my lemonade. And as I watched the scene unravel, I realized again that my friends weren't my friends. They were Rory's friends.
I was just Rory's sister.
"You seem sad," Calvin said, and I looked over at him, our eyes connecting before we both looked away, shuffling awkwardly.
"I'm fine," I whispered, staring at my shoes. Why did I wear black shoes with a white dress?
My mind began to ridicule itself when Calvin stepped closer to me. He opened his mouth.
I looked back into his eyes, waiting for him, overwhelmed by his proximity and anxious of the words about to come out of his mouth.
"Calvin!" my sister's voice yelled. Then, Rory was with us. She ran her hand up and down his arm. Finally, she peeped over at me. "Jamie, come on. Join the fun!"
She grabbed Calvin's arm and pulled him into the circle of people, all laughing and talking. Reluctantly I followed, lingering on the outskirts as everyone else enjoyed my birthday.
I still remember how it got darker. People left one by one, then two by two, until it was about six of us. Rory pulled Calvin inside to get another soda.
I stayed outside, listening to a stupid conversation concerning a new girl who had just moved to town. I left quickly, going inside as well, to see Rory and Calvin kissing. My heart fell into my stomach as the two beautiful blondes locked lips. I gasped for air but it felt like nothing was there. I went back outside and ran to edge of my yard. None of the others called after me.
I was invisible.
I was pointless.
She was everything.
My everything.
Everyone's everything.
Even as I laid in the grass until my mom called out for me later that evening, I realized that I could never be more than Rory.
It was then that I accepted myself as Rory's sister.
It was the day I began to resent her just as much as I loved her.
~ ~ ~
"Jamie? Jamie?"
Fletcher's voice sounded ten miles away.
"Jamie?
Three miles.
"Jamie, goddamn, please.
One mile.
Then a light slap right on my cheek.
"Ow!" I screamed and then heard Fletcher snicker melodically before it abruptly stopped. My eyes opened to see him peering down at me.
"What the..." Suddenly I felt cold and looked to my left to see dark tile. I was on the floor. Looking upwards, I saw the espresso machines, the refrigerators, the countertops.
Beach Brew.
"Hey," Fletcher whispered and I met his eyes. He leaned in a little and my heart clenched. "Are you okay?"
I pushed him away instinctually and sat up. Suddenly I felt dizzy and almost fell back down, but Fletcher caught my arms, pulling me back into a sitting position. Courtney, Lucy, and John were standing around Fletcher and I.
"Jamie?" Lucy whimpered, scratching her temples. Courtney reached out and grabbed one of her arms to help calm her.
"I'm good," I ensured. "I just...had a..."
I wasn't sure what to call it, so I left it lingering.
"Do you pass out a lot?" Fletcher asked sensitively.
"No." Never. "What happened?"
"You were on the phone and then you just collapsed," Courtney explained, still holding onto Lucy.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Fletcher insisted again.
"I'm fine," I told him, successfully standing up with Fletcher's help. "I just got overwhelmed. That's all."
None of them bought it. Especially Fletcher.
"Jamie," Lucy whispered uncertainly.
"Really," I pleaded, trying to assure her as I held onto the bar, steadying myself. "I'm fine."
"Okay," John said, eyeing me skeptically. "We gotta head back, Fletch."
"Give me a minute," he snapped at John.
John looked shocked for a moment, before heading towards the exit. Courtney and Lucy backed off too.
"Jamie," he warned, now that we were alone.
"Don't," I started quietly, trying to pull out of his grip. He didn't budge.
"What was that?"
"Nothing," I said through clenched teeth.
His grip on me tightened enough to make me stay in place. "Tell me."
"Can we talk later," I gasped desperately. I didn't want to do any of this. Especially not here. Especially not now. "Please."
He stared at me darkly and promised, "Later."
"Sure. Later," I assured him.
Then he left the Beach Brew without another word. I grabbed onto the countertop, suddenly the memory settling back in.
Rory. Rehab.
She left.
Please. Call her.
I cursed in a low voice, but Courtney heard me. She came over to me, leaving a foot or two between us.
"Jamie-" she started.
"I'm okay," I barked.
And then my phone rang.
INCOMING CALL: MOM
I slammed my phone onto the countertop.
"I'm going to do the dishes," I announced and headed towards the back room. "Call me if you need anything." Then I turned around quickly. "Actually, don't."
~ ~ ~
To: Jamie
From: Rory
Baby J. I need you.
That's what I got at work. On my ride home, I received:
To: Jamie
From: Rory
Jamie, please.
Once I was back in the guest room at Monica and Michael's, I got this:
To: Jamie
From: Rory
JAMIE
I changed into my favorite sundress. Since it was already hard to breathe from everything that had happened today, I decided that the last thing I needed was anything that would constrict me. Plus, it was still in the high seventies and it didn't seem like it would get too much cooler throughout the night.
Courtney picked me up around eight. When I got her car, I was surprised when she didn't move for a while. We both sat in her car.
"Do you want to talk?" she asked bluntly.
I shook my head and looked out the window. "I just need a drink."
"I think we can make that happen," she said, and finally reversed the car out of the driveway.
Everyone was at Kyle's already, except for Evan, Michelle, and Lucy. Fletcher immediately came over to me when Courtney and I stepped on the porch. He reached out to hug me, lingering, but I pulled out of his grasp, dodging the hand that tried to follow me. I walked over to the case of beer on the table and noticed how Courtney took my place, whispering quietly to Fletcher.
"Hey," I said to John, Dan, Avery, and Kyle. "Who's going to shotgun this beer with me?"
John gave me a skeptical look, but Dan and Kyle jumped at my suggestion. I finished before both of them, squeezing the empty can in my hand and tossing it into the nearby trash can. I grabbed another one and cracked it open just as Kyle and Dan were tossing their beers away as well.
"Nice one, Jamie," Dan complimented.
I nodded at him and then leaned into Kyle. "Do you have any liquor?"
He raised his eyebrows at me and then shrugged. "Sure. What do you want?"
"Anything," I told him. "Anything will do."
~ ~ ~
I had never truly gotten drunk before. There was one night, I remember, getting tipsier than I ever had. Will and I had been dating for two months and we decided to go over to Landon's house since he was throwing a party. Rory convinced me to take shots with her. Normally I would take one or two, and be done for the night, always sticking to beer just in case I had to take care of Rory if she got too drunk or out of hand. But that night, Rory was convinced on getting me drunk. I still resisted, but definitely noticed how everything had gotten more blurry than I had ever experienced. Still though, I ended up having to take care of Rory, holding her hair back again as she threw up.
Tonight was different though.
Tonight I got drunk.
I had lost count of the number of beers I had, the number I had shotgun, on top of the shots of tequila and vodka, one of rum I could remember for sure because I hated the way it went down.
Lucy had started the karaoke, causing all the boys to retreat to safety out on the porch. Typically I would sit by and talk and watch with Avery, Michelle, and Courtney, but tonight I was so drunk that I began to join in, more often dancing than singing. Lucy began dancing with me as we screamed out the lyrics to a shitty Britney Spears song, pre-head shave.
Finally Courtney cut the machine off, and I vaguely remember her glaring at me, rather than Lucy, for once.
"Courtneyyyy," Lucy and I whined obnoxiously as I draped myself around Lucy's shoulders.
"Sit down," she said to us both.
Leaning on Lucy, we stumbled our way over to the kitchen counter and plopped down on a barstool, me sitting in Lucy's lap as my head lolled a little, causing my center of gravity to shift.
"Jamie, are you okay?" I heard Michelle's voice somewhere beside me.
"I'm fine," I heard my own voice slur, but smiled and hugged Lucy. She squeezed me even tighter and whispered 'I ruv you.'
"Jamie," Courtney snapped her fingers in front of me. "You fucking passed out, like, six hours ago and now you're drunk as shit. What the hell is going on."
"Drop it, okayyy?" I muttered, standing up from Lucy's lap and stumbling into the counter a bit. "I'm goin' outside."
They all stayed behind but soon I heard footsteps following me as I struggled to open the sliding glass door, almost falling when it suddenly busted open. "Shit," I whispered under my breath as I regained my balance and stalked out onto the porch, where Dan, Kyle, Evan, John, and Fletcher were hanging out in the far corner.
I walked over to them when they all looked at me. Dan started laughing. "Good god, Jamie, you're walking like a drunk homeless man."
When I finally reached him I smacked his arm loosely. I moaned, "No I'm not!"
I felt an arm wrap around my waist and looked to my other side to meet Fletcher's worried brown eyes. I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder, letting my eyes droop. I hummed, "Mm. You're shoulder makes a good pillow."
The guys all let out a laugh, but Fletcher tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me into him a bit more. At that point the rest of the girls had pulled up chairs to widen the circle.
I reopened my eyes and stared at the stars. Something flashed across the sky and I perked up immediately and pointed at the darkness. "Holy shit! Shooting star! I swear!"
Everyone looked, but the flash was gone just as quick as it had come. I kept staring at the sky, like I was expecting it to fly back. But there was nothing.
"Make a wish," Michelle said sweetly and I felt Fletcher's hand squeeze my side. I felt him staring at me and so I looked over at him, smiling when our eyes met each other. I felt a thick lump in my throat, then inhaled and closed my eyes.
I didn't know what to wish for.
On my seventh birthday, I wished for a dog.
On my tenth birthday, I wished for a dog.
On my thirteenth birthday, I wished that when I went to high school, I didn't have to be Rory Prescott's sister.
On my fifteenth birthday, I wished that I could meet new friends that didn't see me as Rory Prescott's sister.
On my sixteenth birthday, I wished that Will would ask me out.
On my seventeenth birthday, I wished that Rory would move far, far away from me.
On my eighteenth birthday, I wished that Duke would be everything I dreamed of. It could be a fresh start.
Little did I know what would happen at the beginning of this summer. I got a new fresh start before I even expected one.
Now, with my eyes closed, feeling Fletcher staring at my face, I didn't want to wish for anything. I felt like I had everything I wanted right where I was in that moment.
There was one thing I wanted though. One thing I didn't have. One thing I was afraid I would never have.
That night I wished that Rory and I could be good again. No resentment, no hurt, no caretaking. Just two individuals, two separate siblings, who loved and cared for each other, but didn't need each other like the way she needed me sometimes.
Holding her hair while she threw up.
Helping her through her endless amount of boy problems.
Hanging out with her group of friends because she always needed me by her side--because there was no room, never room, for me to make way for myself.
Helping her now.
Baby J, I need you.
"Hey." Fletcher's breath fanned across my eyelids and I reopened my eyes.
I didn't look at him, instead looking right at the case of beer sitting next to Kyle. "Hey, Kyle. Pass me a beer."
He reached in to grab one, but Fletcher's arm snaked up my back, grabbing me more firmly.
"No," Courtney told Kyle. "She doesn't need one."
Fletcher agreed, "For real. She's good."
Beer in hand, Kyle tossed it at me, and I was even surprised when I caught it, although I suddenly felt incredibly dizzy from the whole exchange.
Fletcher reached for it and grabbed the top, but it was still fairly slippery and cold so he couldn't get a good grip. "Jamie. Give it to me."
I wriggled out of his grasp completely, falling backwards into Dan on the other side. He gently held my back, propping me up, but Fletcher didn't miss a beat. He gave me a look that could kill and everyone noticed it.
"Dude, she's fine," Kyle said casually.
Fletcher reached for the beer again and I swatted him away harshly.
"Don't," I flared. "Like he said, I'm fine. I can take care of myself."
Then I left Fletcher's side, done with him and his reactions, and went over to plop down on Lucy's lap. She huffed unexpectedly when I sat but then hugged me tightly as I cracked open my beer.
"Hang in there, babe," she murmured into my arm. I leaned my head against hers, suddenly feeling like even though she was easily the craziest of them all, I knew she would be there for me no matter what.
"I wish I hadn't just met you a couple weeks ago," I confessed to her.
"Trust me," she murmured. "Me too."
Conversation began again but I noticed how Courtney kept glancing at me, raising her eyebrows. More often, however, I caught Fletcher looking at me. Even in the dark, I could tell it was disapproving.
Just one more beer and I was completely gone. When we all stood up to head our separate ways, I stumbled. Lucy grabbed me before I fell, but I immediately looked at Fletcher, who of course saw it all since he was staring at me. He shook his head, like he actually angry with me.
Everyone was saying their goodbyes and I hugged everyone closest to me, thanked Kyle, and then headed for the steps.
"Where are you going?" Dan called.
"I'm walking home," I yelled back with a dismissive wave behind me.
I heard Fletcher say something to all of them and then he was behind me, his hand around my waist just as I tripped on a loose piece of deck wood. He said, "Hey there, I'm going to help you home."
"I don't need your help," I proclaimed.
"Right. Because you stumbling down the staircase definitely doesn't need help."
Had I really stumbled down the staircase? I thought I had been walking fine...
"Fletcherrrrr," I slurred as we turned on the main road, leaning on him more. "Fletcherrrr."
"Having fun?" he joked, smirking at me.
"Yesss," I hissed in his ear and saw his smile widen.
"Who had too much fun tonight?"
"Thiss giiiiiiirllll!" I announced loudly like I was at sports game.
Fletcher laughed melodically and I felt myself put my nose into his shoulder as I giggled. "I love your laugh."
"Hmm?" he asked under his breath.
"It's cute," I said, looking up into his eyes as we kept walking down the street, our arms intertwined around each other's bodies. "You're cute."
He smiled even bigger and shook his head, looking away from me. "And you're drunk."
"And you're cayyuuuuute!" I sang.
He slapped his hand over my mouth, cutting me off. "Shhh. Jamie, Jesus, shut up! There are cops out here you know."
I laughed embarrassingly loud and continued to walk with him, letting him guide me as I stared up at the stars.
"What did you wish for?" he asked as a car drove past coming back from the bars, blaring loud music.
"Huh?" I asked him, suddenly having the urge to skip.
"What did you wish for?" he repeated, glancing back up at the sky.
I wriggled out of his grasp and began skipping forward, turning my head around to say, "It doesn't come true if I tell!"
Even though I was skipping far ahead and I knew there was a part of him that was worried, all I heard was his laugh until it was far enough away that I had to stop because I missed its proximity. I missed his proximity. So I waited until he caught up to me, molding me into the crook of his body so his arm hung around my shoulder.
We walked in silence for a while and I watched as more cars passed more frequently as the bars came into view--the bright lights, the girls laughing, the guys flirting, the drinks flowing.
Walking past the bars was always an experience. There were so many things going on. Some people were just beginning their nights, while others were completely wasted. Some people were all alone, pissed, or with their friends, loving it. Others were with someone they had picked up, enjoying the attention and the thought of going home with someone. It was all a cluster of emotions and desires in such a small area; the energy was overwhelming.
Once Fletcher and I had finally passed them, we headed towards the largest public access point to the beach. I unraveled myself from him and sprinted in the sand down near the water. It touched my toes, warm enough to want to dive in. The wind whipped through my hair--neither hot nor cold. It was a beautiful night. I began running south towards my house in the shallows, kicking water here and there, laughing. Suddenly I was lifted off the ground and shrieked. When I heard Fletcher laughing under me I began laughing too. He carried me further onto shore and put me down, wrapping his arms around my neck as I began to walk with him behind me, right in step.
"You're crazier than I thought," he murmured into my ear.
I giggled and kicked the sand as I walked. "I'm not. I'm just...you know. I needed to escape tonight."
Before he could say anything else, I exclaimed, "Let me get on your back!"
He sighed, running a hand through his gorgeous hair. "Fine."
"Yessss," I screamed and went behind him. He bent down and I hopped on, riding on his back. "To the homeland!"
I felt him shake his head as I wrapped my arms around his neck, giggling constantly.
"Hey, hey, hey," I garbled.
"Hey, hey, what?" he asked, much more clearly than me.
"Where do you live?"
"Are you trying to stalk me now?"
"Definitely," I played and would've hit him if my arms weren't wrapped around his neck for dear life.
"I live way out on the north end. Why?"
"Wait, wait, wait," I stumbled again and tried to get off his back. "Put me down. This is serious."
He let me go and looked at me worriedly. "Wait what? What...are you--"
"You live all the way on the north end?"
"Yeah...?" he said, his brow furrowing.
I smacked him in the chest hard.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"Why do you walk me home?" I yelled at him. "You live all the way on the other side of the island, do you realize how freaking far that is!" I smacked him again.
"Jesus! Jamie!"
"You shouldn't be walking that far, you fucking idiot!"
He grabbed me hands before I could smack him again. "Hey," he said, forcing me to look at him. "I wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it. You shouldn't be walking back home from Kyle's this late by yourself."
"You shouldn't be walking from the south end to the north end this late by yourself," I shot back, my words getting a little jumbled along the way.
He half smiled at me and then pulled me into him as we began walking again. He kissed the top of my head and heard him say, "It's worth it."
We finally walked side by side for a while. I alternated leaning against his shoulder and staring out into the black ocean.
"So," he said in the silence. "What happened today?"
I shrugged. "You know."
"If I knew I wouldn't be asking," he shot back playfully, but I knew that this conversation was anything but humorous or light.
"My mom called me," I said after we walked in silence for a bit.
I felt his eyes glance over at me, but I refused to look back at him, keeping my eyes strained on the dark sand in front of me.
"Rory left rehab this morning," I mumbled, the words catching uncomfortably in my throat.
"What?" Fletcher whispered, his voice getting drowned out momentarily by a crashing wave. "Is she okay?"
I shrugged underneath his arm. "I don't know. No one knows where she is."
"But...how did she just leave? I mean I thought she was required to be there."
I shook my head, kicking sand in front of me again. "She's over 18. She can choose to leave whenever she wants. Most rehab centers are voluntary."
He ran a hand through his hair and let out a quiet sigh. "Have you talked to her?"
I shook my head solemnly, feeling emotion rattling in my lungs again. "She's not returning any of my parents' calls. But she texted me three times tonight."
"What'd she say?" he asked, his hand gently rubbing my shoulder blade.
"The same thing she always says," I murmured, shutting my eyes to force back the tears beginning to form. "That she needs me."
"She could be in trouble, Jamie."
"I know," I snapped, jerking out of his grasp just as one single tear slipped out of my eye. I quickly wiped it away, suddenly feeling even more stupid.
"Whoa, hey," he said calmly, gently reaching out to me. I lurched away again and he finally kept his hands to his side, even though his eyes were attacking me. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Really, that wasn't my intention...It's just I know what it's like to ignore someone when you're upset. Because it seems like it's the only choice you have."
I waited for him to continue with my arms crossed as we both kept walking next to each other. I could see my aunt and uncle's house in the near distance.
"I'm just speaking from my own personal experience when I say that ignoring the problem doesn't solve it for anyone. Sometimes it just makes it worse."
I didn't say anything, but I had heard him. I knew he was right. I knew that ignoring all of this wasn't going to make it go away. But just the thought of bringing any part of Rory back into my life, the thought that in one phone call she could take away everything I've gained here, who I've become here.
It was too much to lose.
I found myself pushing my way back into Fletcher's grasp, my arms wrapping around his torso as his arm slipped easily around my hips. I pressed my cheek against his shoulder, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" he asked.
I waved a hand around vaguely. "For everything."
"Hey," he stopped walking, forcing me to stop as well. He cupped my face in his hand and stared me down. "Don't you dare ever apologize for something that you didn't do. Ever again. You hear?"
"Okay."
He shook his head and smirked, pulling me back into his arms as we kept on down the beach. "Stupid girl. Thinking you can apologize for nothing."
I just smiled under his arm, wishing that this night could never end. Wishing this summer could never end.
Fletcher walked me from the beach to Michael and Monica's porch before letting me go and holding me at an arms length. "Are you going to be okay tonight?"
I nodded, but already felt this anxious pit in my stomach at the thought that he was leaving.
He nodded back at me, smirking a little, and my heart began racing. "Beach tomorrow?"
I nodded again stupidly, not trusting my voice.
He grinned even wider, staring at me.
Fuck it, I thought and grabbed the back of his head, going on my tiptoes so I could press his lips against mine. He immediately responding, bending down a little and pulling me in tighter to deepen the kiss.
He began to pull away, but I held him tighter, not wanting it to end. After a little bit longer, he finally did remove his lips from mine, pressing them instead against my forehead as I buried my face in his chest, noticing the way his shirt smelt of salt and sand.
"Don't go," I mumbled into his chest.
He chuckled harmoniously. "Jamie..."
"Please," I whispered, peering up at him now. "I don't want you to walk home alone."
He hesitated for a moment, staring at me with lustful eyes before looking up to the sky. "What will your aunt and uncle think?"
"That we fell asleep, which is all we're going to do anyway," I said with a giggle, punching him lightly in the chest. "God, Fletcher, get your head out of the gutter."
"With an attitude like that," he said and made his way back towards the beach.
"No, no, no," I wailed, going after him.
He quickly whipped around and ran back, slapping a hand over my mouth. "You are so loud," he whispered with a laugh. "Are you trying to wake up the entire town?"
I licked the palm of his hand and his hand shot away from my mouth. A horrified look crossed his face, even though his eyes were dancing with amusement. "Did you just-"
I snickered and pranced innocently towards the house. He came up behind me and wrapped his arm back around me as we went inside and shut the sliding glass door behind us, finally shutting off the endless sound of waves crashing.