Camila's P.O.V.
Music had been my passion since I could remember, it had always been music all along even if there were so many hobbies I keep exploring and talents I keep trying to do. No matter what happens, at the end of the day it always was music that keeps me going and will keep me going for sure.
It was when I was a kid when I discovered this great deep love that I have for music and it was such a strong and powerful love that it overwhelmed me in such a worse way. I remember being all shy, embarrassed and getting all sulky whenever I was asked to show my real talent before anyone. I was an introvert and it is something I really wouldn't be shy about because that's me, however when ir comes to music, there's this soft whisper in my mind that somehow pushed me to the edge to keep this talent I have for a secret before waiting for the right time to share it with everyone.
My eyes opened and stared at my alarm clock as the third thin yet long hands of the clock kept rotating and passing each number. In less than a minute it finally rung making me raise my hand in the air to shut it down from creating more noise, the whole room began to be more alive as a smile suddenly creeped into my face. All the energy I have seemed to come to hit me full force as my mind finally progressed which means today is another day!
"Good morning Karla!" I laughed and started thrashing on the bed, somewhat doing this for weeks now as this is usually my ceremonial thing whenever I wake up.
I wasted no other time after tht small celebration to fix my bed and the comb my hair before turning the karaoke player I have in my room, it was my mom who gave me that karaoke machine and so I insisted in letting that stay in my room for such things like this. The beige ceiling and walls seemed more cozier with that things inside my room, it does not take that much space plus it also what keeps me going and happy for the time being.
Before anything, I am Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, that name is somewhat likely to be confusing and not to be remembered by people because of how long it is so I just go by the name Karla since it is what my parents and my whole family call me. So far I am 12 years old, born to great parents named as Sinhue and Alejandro Cabello, I am half Cuban and half Mexican which is a bit noticable with the complexion I have and some facial structures I have. I also have a very adorable sister named Sofia and she's 11 years younger than me, I love that little girl with all my heart as she is the joy of the family.
My life wasn't as good as everyone thought it was, sure I lived in Miami, the great place where there are gorgeous white sand beaches but my real hometown is in Cojimar, Eastern Havana and our experience isn't was good as everyone thought it was. There was a war when my parents decided to leave and migrate the country, my mom was an architect then, she was a great worker in the company she works for and had been promoted into different positions due to her intelligence. However even if she's happy with her job, she feels as if I wasn't secured in that place, that city what we called home doesn't feel like home anymore no matter what angle I kept trying to see it.
It was such a though decision for her but she decided to leave her job just so we all could be safe, mom applied visa for the 3 of us in hopes that we would be able to migrate in the States. Mom had been eyeing Miami for a while now, we wanted to go there to travel and have fun but for now they think that we needed to badly leave the town. Mom and I had our visas proved, dad however didn't get lucky as he was denied, we wanted to stay and wsit for him to apply for another visa however he insisted that we needed to go. It was such a heart breaking scene at the airport when we flew to Miami, there were tears in all of our eyes because there's no assurance that we will be able to see each other again, it broke my heart to see my father looking so strong yet I know that it was just a front, deep inside I know that his world seemed to be falling apart as we walked away, leaving him alone.
Our life in Miami was harder than before, mom had to do several jobs just so we could pay the rent, have my tuition fee and other expenses just so we could live. That was our life for months, 2 years had passed ad we were slowly getting on our feet, that 2 years of pain and tears vanished when we suddenly reunited with my dad. After all those hardships we were so happy that we were able to be with him, to finally be one happy family. It took time before we had adjusted, papa had a hard a hard time but we assured him that we were just here to help him no matter what happens. Also I think he really missed mama since a few weeks after he got in miami, mama learned that she was pregnant with my little sister Sofia.
Aside from that it is customary for us to go back and visit Cuba once in a while, somehow even if we've had our bad memories there we couldn't just completely forget about the happy times we've shared there. We tried to let abuela migrate to Miami as well but she refused, that is also one reason why we kept coming back and forth. It was all good though, I missed Cuba as well but I think our new home is in Miami.
Anyway, I opened the karaoke and lowered the level just so I would be the only one who could hear myself singing, this was my usual routine every morning whenever we don't have classes. It somehow made me feel calm and a bit confident in myself, I think this is my stress outlet which is a great thing for me. Several songs had been played and I've sang for I don't even know minutes, I've lost myself somewhere in the middle of the fun I have, I just got back to reality when I realized that there had been several knocks on the door.
"Karla dear, why are you locking your door?"
My eyes widned hearing the voice of my mom, quickly, I turned off the karaoke and placed everything back into it's right place. I didn't know what kimd of alibi I should do so I just tried to react as calm as possible when I opened the door after double checking the things I have. They're all in their right places. Good!
"Nothing mama, do you need me?" I was panting when I opened the door, but only half just so mom wouldn't be able to see my room. Because if she ever see the room then goodness! Mama would know!
"I was calling you for dinner, you didn't hear me knocking 5 times?" Her eyes flickered behind me, looking at my room for a good moment before her eyes travelled back to mine. I was sweating due to nervousness but I didn't let it show...
"No mama, lo siento, I was busy sleeping" (I'm sorry)
Please buy my story...
Tell me you didn't hear anything...
"The small noise I've been hearing made me think otherwise"
Crap... I mentally wanted to bit my tongue just so I wouldn't be able to say anything at all, I feel like I'm just digging my own grave.
"What noise are you talking about mama? There's nothing here" I bit my lip hoping that she would just let this pass, I'm still not ready letting her know..
"Anyway go down and have lunch, your papa is very eager to eat with you. Sofie is also looking for her hermana"
I sighed in relief when she didn't push through it, I never wanted to lie to my mom but somehow I just feel really shy about what I am doing. I just need to keep this as a secret for a while, maybe when I am ready then that would be the time I will tell them everything about this.
Mom had repeatedly caught me after that incident but she never tried to push my buttons to explain, I was thankful for that however when it was near abuela's birthday she suddenly caught me again and this time, she did the opposite. She talked to me even if I didn't want to answer her question..
"Karla you are locking your door once again, didn't I told you not to do that?"
"Mom why do you keep barging inside my room? Can't I have my own privacy?"
"I still don't get it, why don't you want us to hear you sing? You've been singing for like all your life inside these four corners of this room, you've basically locked yourself up in this room just so you would be able to practice this talent of yours. You're 14 now Karla"
"Mom I told you I don't sing-"
"Those recordings in your phone says otherwise, I've seen and heard them all Karla, you can't fool me" Now that made me shut up, my eyes kept looking elsewhere and I sighed and tried to change the topic once more but it keeps coming back to the main topic.
"Why are you so shy about letting other people see your talent? It's not something to be ashamed or be shy about, it's your talent and you should let other people see it."
"Okay mom I promise, next time I'll do that" I sighed inwardly... okay fine... but only when I feel like it's time... My statement seemed to fool my mother so she showed me a wide grin before engulfing me in for a hug.
"Tha promise better be kept señorita"
"Si mama, lo prometo" (Yes mom, I promise)
5 days after that it was abuela's birthday, we flew back to Cuba as there is a small party they all tried to host there. It is our tradition and we were all but happy and excited to see her again after a year of waiting, we didn't have much money to fly to Cuba last Christmas due to the latest addition to our family but now is the right time for us since we are surprising her.
We arrived at the frontyard and saw some of our relatives, we greetedly all of them but in discreet and quietly just so abuela wouldn't know that we are now here. Auntie told is that she is just inside the living room so we all braced ourselved before we entered the house, she was sitting on the couch making me smile as she wore the dress that I picked for her last year.
"Abuela! te extrañe! (Grandma! I missed you!)" I tackled her from behind, wrapping my arms around her neck and giving her kisses all over her face. I was so happy and estatic to finally be with her that tears pooled in my eyes.
"Karla mi princesa! (my princess) I missed you so much! Hello sofia, you look so cute" Her eyes widened in shock but quickly recovered as she asked me to sit beside hee on the couch.
"Feliz cumpleaños abuelita, I have a present for you, espero que te guste" (Happy birthday grandma, I hope you like it)
"I would very much love anything that is given to me by my dear Karla, vete aqui (come here) , abuelita wants to know more about what happened to school and in your life"
Abuela and I shared all the possible stories we could share,she never wanted me to leave her side no matter what happens and is even feeding me right now. I feel like a child but I couldn't say no to abuela, she's my everytjing and my happiness...
"I think you are spoiling mi hija mama, let her eat all by herself"
"No Sinuhe, let me feed my precious girl. I love her with all my heart"
"I love you too abuelita" A soft chuckle came from both of us but my eyes suddenly came to Sofie, she was looking at me with those wide eyes but she still looks lovely as ever.
"What's with that frown princess? Don't you like the food?"
"I love it, but Sofia will get jealous. I want her to have whatever I have"
"Is that so? I'll feed her as well but I would do that later, I want to bond with you" Abuela laughed but she fed Sofie as well later on, now we went back to the living room and started chatting when all of a sudden my mom spoke.
"Mama, I think we should let Karla sing She has a beautiful voice! She sings whenever she's alone in her room"
"Mama no, I don't want to"
I squirmed on my seat when I felt everyone's eyes on me, the noise that had been filling the four corners of this house vanished and now they are waiting for me to move and do something. My hands immediately started trembling as I bowed my head, shaking and saying no repeatedly...
"Come on Karla, your abuela will be happy if you do so. It could be your gift for her as well" The pressure inside me kept building until I wasn't able to handle it anymore.
"Mama no! I said I don't want to!"
"Karla-"
I was so overwhelmed with so much embarrassment and a bit of anger to the point that I kept crying over and over again, I didn't care if my relatives would think differently of me, all I knoe is just that I needed to let out these emotions out since I've been practically been forced to let other people witness this talent that I have. I ran outside and sat on the grass, burying my face in my arms legs as I let out everything. I've been bottled up these past few days and I just really need to let it out especially with the overwhelming pressure I felt with my parents earlier.
I don't want to disappoint my parents, whenever they praise me I feel like I have this huge burden that I needed to live up to their expectation no matter how high or low it is for me. There's this fear that they might get embarrassed because they bragged about me and I couldn't do anything at all, I didn't want to disappoint them and so I just ran away and cried. I just feel that I am not that good, that there are other people who will judge me or hate me...
No one needed to say any word for me to realize that it was my abuela who is sitting beside me, worry came to me right away when I realized that I was sitting on the grass which means my abuela is sitting on the grass as well. Her poor knees and joint must've hurt so I wiped my tears away and stood up, I didn't dare make any eye contact with her as I didn't want her to see how ugly I look when crying. Her big yet warm hand held mine as she slowly brought me back into place and asked me to sit beside her, I really was worried to see her looking uncomfortable while sitting on the grass but her smile told me otherwise.
For a minute abuela and I didn't say anything, we both were just staring into nothing and sighing whenever we felt like it. No words needed to be said for me to finally stop crying and to start to talk... just having my abuela's presence beside me is enough to calm me down... just like when abuela has abuelo's presence, a love so magical and right...
"I can't sing abuela, please tell mama que no puedo (that I can't)"
Soft touches feathered my skin as abuela pulledme close to her, her hands were now placed around my waist as the other kept combing my hair with her fingers. This had been our favorite bonding time eversince I was a kid, she always come by hair until I fall asleep because of that. At times she does that to calm me down and comfort me just like this. Her deep brown orbs stared deeply into mine giving me a sense of warmth and mirrored a bit of a lie detector, she can easily see right through my soul if I am lying or not so might as well just tell her the whole truth than making my head hurt by composing lies with several plot holes.
"Is there a reason why you're very reluctant to sing for abuela? Do you not want to give me something which money can't buy?"
"I wanted to sing for you abuela"
I really do want to let her hear me sing, I wanted to give her that as my present but I didn't want to do it before everyone... I just don't feel composed and comfortable being under the eyes of many people who might hate and judge you...
"Then why did you run away? What made you cry?" I was reluctant to tell her everything, I was so scared that she might hate me for my reasons but knowing abuela I know that she will understand me.
"I was scared, so many people were there. They were all looking at me, what if I made a mistake? What if I wasn't able to hit the right notes? What if they'll hate me?" I could feel my voice cracking and tears started to fall once more, abuela wipped away my tears, her gentle touch calmed me down instantly no matter how heavy it felt in my heart.
"No one will hate mi nieta, I will burry them under the ground if they do"
Abuela loves to joke around but at times like this I couldn't bring myself to smile nor to be happy as the guilt kept breaking me in the insidle. Abuela seemed to notice my changed behavior as I heard her sighing for a minute, she caressed my cheek before turning my head so I could look in her eyes once more.
"Karla, there are so many people in this world and each and everyone of us is different from them, no matter what we do we can't please everyone. We live not for others, we live for ourselves so no matter how many times people kept trying to bring you down, always stand up, it might be hard and painful but you can go on slow, you can start slowly until you get back on top again"
"Don't ever listen to what this says" Abeula pointed on head making me squirm since she was talking so seriously but her voice was soft and calm, her hand then transferred to my chest and smiled lovingly.
"Instead, listen to what this says. Even if so many people kept telling you to use your brain, at times your heart is more right. The heart was called foolish because all it ever did was love, it does not think and keep on falling for people who are unworthy of being loved. The mind was called smart but it is also where evil came from"
"Love was never wrong, no matter how evil a person is, he or she still deserves to be loved"
I found my voice after a few minutes, it was one thing that my abuelo mentioned to me that really had made a huge impact to me when I was young. You need to love people even if they're good or bad, it doesn't matter if they committed a sin, it doesn't matter if they have hurted someone, what matters more is how you look at the person because love is unconditional.
"You really listen to your abuelo so well" Abuela laughed whole heartedly, that alone brought such a happy smile on my face and I think that she is the only one who can do that.
"If your passion is to sing then go for it, don't let that fear hold you back because it is the evil's doing for you to not reach your dreams, for you to not be happy at all. Set your heart free my dear, do all the things you love"
Maybe I shouldn't have let my fears consume me, maybe... just maybe singing might be for me... Maybe that is what I am supposed to be doing... Maybe I was made to sing...
"I will abuela, thank you"
"Some boy will be lucky to have you Karla"
My eyes widened as I groaned inwardly, my abuela kept pestering me about having a boyfriend! She would keep saying topics or words relating to relationship just like what she is doing right now, it wasn't new but I couldn't stand hearing words like that over and over again.
"Abuela I told you I'm still young!"
"I was at your age when I met your abuelo, it doesn't matter how young you are when you fall in love, it only matters when that right person comes into your life"
"How would you know that he's
the right one for you?" Curiosity bugged me way too much to the point thay I got curious on how one would know if this certain person is the right one for you...
"Believe me, you would know" Abuela smiled as she pecked my forehead, she was smiling non stop and laughed at my confused state.
"But how abuela?"
"Sometimes you'll know it's true love when you're willing to wait, no matter how long or how painful it is for you, as long as that person waited for you and stayed by your side, that mi pincesa es amor verdadero (and that my princess is true love)"
In the end mom and I had settled our differences, I told her the reason why I refused to sing before everyone and she understood it, but just like abuela, she told me that I should do what is right for me to feel happy...
"Karla, what would you want to do for your quinceñera?"
A soft smile creased on my lips as my eyes turned to look at my mother, she was looking so curious about the reason behind my smile so she sat beside me on the bed and waited for my reply.
"Mom, can you accompany me to the X factor audition?"
And I think it would be time...