Life is unfair.
When you think that life has hurt you enough it decides to hurt you more.
It challenges you to see when they push you if you'll get back up.
And boy do I not want to get up.
I so desperately wanted to stay in my current position and just let my consequences consume me.
I've been hurt so many times that I don't even how I'm still alive.
I don't even know how I'm still going.
How I even have the strength to keep living.
I wanted to be reunited with my father so badly.
I know he would be upset to see me though.
Because I wasn't finish with life. Even though I wanted to be, I had to keep going.
I have been staring at Aiden's face for about 20 minutes. Taking every aspect of his face and imbedding it in my brain. I wanted the image of him to last forever in my mind. I wish it were simple. I wish we could run away and be together. I wish I still trusted him. I wish I didn't have to leave him.
Like I said life is unfair.
We always want what we can't have.
I take my hand and softly drag my fingers across his cheek. He stirs a little. His eyes fluttered open and he turns to face me.
He smiles "You're still here."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
He drags his fingers up and down my arms causing me too shiver "I just thought you leave."
I am leaving "I'm here."
He looks at me intensely as if he knows that I'm hiding something. Aiden isn't stupid and frankly I'm not good at lying.
"So what now?" He asks me
"What do you mean?" I ask dumbfoundly
He gave me a look like I should know what he is talking about.
"You know you're uncle isn't just going to let you walk out of here freely," He said.
I turn over a look at the ceiling "I don't want to talk about it."
Aiden sits up a bit "What do you mean you don't want to talk about it? You don't have much time . We need to figure out--"
I look at him "I'm not dragging you down with me."
"Don't be naive Victoria. You are playing with your life here."
"And I told you I'll handle it," I sit up still covering my naked body with the sheets.
He studies me so more.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Shit. "I'm not hiding anything. Why do you assume I'm always hiding something?"
"Because you always are."
"And you don't?" I said raising my voice.
He stays quiet, but I can see the anger in his eyes.
He cups his hand on my face bringing me a little more closer to him. I was weak for his touch.
"I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Nothing will." I kiss him gently "Everything is going to be okay."
He pulls back, "What about the finals? We both know it's going to be us in the finals."
I stand up and start putting my clothes on, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
"Victoria---"
"I'm not going to let your family die," I cut him off "If that's what you're asking."
He didn't say anything for a moment he just kept looking at me.
"Where are you going?"
"To breakfast."
"Why?"
"Because I'm hungry and Jackson is going to be furious if I skip breakfast again."
"Don't go."
I give him a small smile, "I'll see you later." I walked out the door slowly closing the door behind me.
I took a deep breath as I started walking towards the cafeteria. I know Aiden still thinks that I'm hiding something, which I am, but he's choosing to let it go because he knows he is going to find out eventually.
If anyone could break me emotionally it was and it was all a matter of time before he did.
I know Jackson would be angry if I told Aiden our plans because he might still be lying to me. This might still be all a game to him. I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what to believe.
I reach the cafeteria and walked the breakfast bar. I smelled the hot food they had and it made me nauseous. I couldn't think about food right now. So I grabbed a chocolate chip muffin and a bottle of orange juice. I make my way to an empty table to sit by myself like I usually do when I heard someone call my name. I turn around to see Bryan at a table waving me over.
"Over here doll face," he said gesturing me over.
I walk over to him and sit down in front of him. There was barley anyone in the cafeteria since it was close to the finals it was mostly staff workers.
Bryan raised his eyebrows at me, "That's all you're going to eat?"
I shrug, "I'm not that hungry."
"Fear can really make you loose an appetite," He says taking another bite of his eggs.
I scowled at him, "I'm not afraid."
"You should be," He tells me "You think this is going to be easy?"
"I don't expect this to be easy."
He smiles at me, "I like you already."
I take a bite of my muffin not really knowing what to say.
"Aiden knows I'm hiding something." I spit out. I knew Jackson would give me a lecture if I told him. I'm hoping Bryan isn't like that.
He kept a straight face, "Why do you think that?"
"Because I went to see him last night. I needed to know everything that he knew about my uncle. What he was planning and what he was going to do. I just needed to know." I tell Bryan
"And did he tell you anything useful?" He says with a bored tone.
"Nothing that I didn't already know."
Bryan chuckles a bit which makes me confused, "Aiden is manipulative. He always has been. He's getting into your head and making you worry. He's feeding bullshit."
"He said that my uncle threatened to kill his family if he didn't do this," I brought my voice down so barely anyone could hear us
"Bullshit," Bryan takes a sip of his coffee.
"You think he lie about something like that?"
Bryan sighs, "I'm not saying he's lying about that, but do you really think that's all your uncle offered him? Aiden's not stupid, he's greedy and stubborn like his father, but he isn't stupid?"
"How do you know so much about Aiden?" I asked him
"I grew up with him doll face."
Now I was really confused, "I thought Aiden grew up in the city?"
Bryan laughed, "Is that what he told you?" He laughed some more, "How do you think him and Jason are friends? How do you think Jackson knows him so well? Aiden grew up in our village. He was just as poor as us. His father, being the greedy man he was, always betted on their stuff hoping to make more money. He gambled all they had until they ended up with nothing. Got himself in situations that he shouldn't been in and he paid the price for it. Aiden fought to provide for his mother and sister who was just born at the time. He was 15 and fight grown as dudes, but he was still winning. One day when he was 16 him and his family picked up and left suddenly. I guess then they moved into the city. We tried to get him to join us, but he never wanted to. He only ever cared about himself and his family. If they were doing fine then he didn't care about anything else. He didn't care who he had to hurt as long as he was surviving. He was never a good guy to begin with. What makes you think he can change?"
I didn't know what to say. I feel like I know Aiden completely at one point, but then I'm fooled again and again.
"I think anybody can change," I hear myself say, "It is up to the person if they want to change or not."
"So you think he's going to change? You're going to risk everything for him?"
I don't hesitate, "No," I say softly.
He leans back in his seat crossing his arms, "I know we don't know each other yet, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I definitely won't let you do anything stupid. Not just because of this rebellion just because you been through too much not to survive. No one should ever have to go through what you went through anymore."
My heart melted. I could tell Bryan was sincere and I believe that he also went through a lot. They all been through a lot.
"You have been so nice to me and I truly don't deserve it." I said
He leans back on the table looking me straight in the eyes.
"The world is turning to shit again. We need all the kindness we can get."
+++
I was sitting on the roof with Jackson.
We started training up here in the midday and just decided to watch the sunset.
I've miss the beauty of sunsets. You can see the full reflection of the sun as it goes away. As it rests to prepare for the next. I get lost in the idea of being able to just live on a mountain for the rest of my life and watch the sun set and rise for the rest of my life.
What a dream that would be.
I don't know how many more of these I'll be able to see.
What I would do to be free.
"I use to come up here a lot," I abruptly said to Jackson "My father would always train me up here so my mother wouldn't know and in all my time I never experience anything like this. My father always believed that the beauty of things was always cause by the light and the dark. No one thing was good or bad it was always a balance. Perfection, he used to tell me when I would say why can't I be as good of a fighter as him, was an illusion. Causing us to believe that there are pure good things in the world, but he knew everything had a dark side. Just like how the sun always sets and the night rises, but just in the transition from day to night for a moment there's this beautiful picture we get called a sunset with all these vibrant colors. Good and bad are just opposites, but they are compatible. They are needed to make beauty in the world."
Jackson looks at me and smiles, "You're father was a wise man. Everyone knew that and that's why they believed in him."
I thought for a moment, "It's what also got him killed."
Silence.
"You know I can't wait until we are on the other side of that sunset," Jackson breaks the silence.
"We'll never be free though."
"Doesn't matter," He continues "We'll be away from here."
"I wish I could just put a bullet through my uncles head."
"That would cause mass chaos," Jackson point out.
I shrug, "The world would be better though."
"It would also be harder to control," he said "In time we'll cause his downfall, but in time we have to be patient."
"You know I never really had a friend," I said
"I can tell."
"But I'm glad you're my friend."
He smiles, "Same here."
I stood up, "I think I'm going to head back now. I'm exhausted."
Jackson stands up as well, "I'll walk you."
We open the hatch to the roof and climb down the ladder. We walked side by side as we made our way to my room. After the stabbing accident Jackson and Bryan thought it would be safer if I had someone with me all the time. We don't know if something like this is going to happen again. I mean I hope not that shit hurt.
"I'm thinking we work on your defense tomorrow," Jackson says as we get closer to the room.
"Defense again? We been practicing that all week," I said as we reach the room.
"Defense is going to be your weapon. You'll see."
"I highly doubt that going to help me beat---" I stopped as open the door to the room.
It was my mother.
Laying dead on the floor.
With a note saying it should of been you.
Her throat was cut open and her shirt was soaked with blood, but it was dry.
That means she's been here for a couple hours.
They dragged her in the room I'm saying in to prove a fucking point.
I covered my hand with my mouth as angry tears started to flee my eyes.
"Holy shit I need to get Bryan--"
"I'm going to fucking kill him."
"Victoria no do not do something stupid right now this is what he wants." Jackson tries to calm me down
I look at him and I know he can tell the rage in my eyes, "I don't give a fuck about what he wants and he won't either once he's dead."
With that I ran out of the room with Jackson calling my and then saying shit.
Even though my mother did a terrible thing she didn't deserve to die.
She was still my mother.
The women that gave birth to me.
Who sang to me when I couldn't sleep.
My uncle has taken everything away from me and I'm not going to let that happen anymore.
I reach up to my uncles office seeing to guards at the door.
"The leader is in a meeting with the head of security---" One of the guards try to stop me but I pushed past them
"I don't care," and I open the door
"You need to make sure there is security on every entrance and someone is monitoring---" My uncle starts, but doesn't finish because he sees me charging at him. Bryan turns around and gives me that don't do that look.
"How fucking could you!?" I screamed lunging at my uncle, but Bryan caught me and tries to hold me back.
"Victoria what are you talking about?" He looks at me confused
"Don't play fucking dumb with me!" I say with rage "She's dead. She's dead because of you. My mother is dead because of you!"
I heard Bryan mutter a shit as my uncle looked at me with a blank expression.
He looks at Bryan "Get someone to handle it and don't let anybody see," He looks at me "Get her out of here."
"Yes sir," Bryan tries to pull me away, but I break loose.
I look my uncle cold in the eye, "You really are going to stand there and lie to me again."
"I had nothing to do with this."
I laugh sinisterly, "I'll tell you one thing." I put my hands on his desk and lean closer to him, "You are going to wish you never took me out of that cell."
"Don't start a war you can't finish." He hisses
"I'm not the one who started it," I push away from him giving him a cold look.
"You're a coward you know that," I said to him "You hide behind your title and your lies. You'll never ever be as a great of a leader as my father. So stop trying to be you psycho."
"Victoria we will get to the bottom of this I swear. I never make the same mistake twice," He says calmly "Get some rest you're too emotional right now you don't know what you are saying."
Yeah well me either.
He wants to keep playing this act well so can i.
I chuckle, "You know you're right. I did just see my mothers throat open, laying in the front of my bed so I should get some rest even though it will all the be the same tomorrow." I smile at him and I can see his glare right through his act "You mind getting someone to clean up the mess in my room? I can't sleep while there is a dead body and blood all over my floor. It's going to smell like death and that is something you can't. get. rid. of."
"Of course my dear," He looks at Bryan "escort her away."
"Yes sir," he finally speaks and grabs my arm pulling me out of the room.
Once the doors closed he gave some orders to some officers who nodded and scurried away and then pulled me away from my uncles. He let go of me when we were far enough away giving me a little push with it.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bryan grits through his teeth.
"He fucking killed my mom Bryan what the hell was I suppose to do? Thank him?" I said angrily.
"No, but I expected a better behavior than that," he said to me.
"My mother is fucking dead you prick."
"And you'll be next if you keep acting fucking stupid," He tells me "Don't you think he wanted this reaction out of you? This just confirmed everything for him. He's not dumb Victoria and you know that. I told I'm not going to let anything happen to you or let you do anything stupid, but damn girl you make that hard."
"I didn't ask for any of your guys help," I cried "I didn't ask for any of this!"
He stayed quiet and just looked at me.
"Victoria I'm sorry," he apologizes.
I felt the tears stream faster down my face, "I don't need anymore apologies."
And then I tool off again, but Bryan didn't call after me. He didn't try to stop me. He knew I needed to grieve.
He knew that he was being a dick.
I know he was trying to help.
I know they were all trying to help.
But I needed to breathe.
I ran to the only place that I could go right now since the room I'm living in is a crime scene.
I stand in front of the door twisting the handle hoping it was unlocked.
And it was.
Sighing with relief I walked in the room and everything became familiar to me again
Aiden wasn't here.
I'll know he'll be looking for me.
But for now I'll be right here.
Curled up into his sheets.
Trying to feel at peace.
+++
I don't know what time it was when I woke up, but it was dark in the room and I was no longer laying on a pillow.
I was laying on Aiden's chest with his arms around me.
You can tell when people are asleep you know. Their breathing is much slower and at a steady pace unless you are having nightmare and Aiden was awake right now. Running his fingers through my hair.
"I heard what happen," I guess he knew I was awake "I'm so sorry."
I tense up remembering that I found my mother dead in my room. That was real.
"I was trying to find you," He continued "Jackson didn't know where you were. He hadn't seen you since you ran away from him. I'm assuming to confront your uncle. There were two places I knew you would go. Here or the training room."
He was right of course.
"Good thing I checked here first. I found you asleep curled up in my blankets. I couldn't go to sleep without knowing you were okay," he finishes.
I unraveled from his embraced and stood up from the bed to get space from him.
I looked at him straight in the eye and crossed my arms, "Did you have anything to do with it?" I whispered
"Are you insane?"
Definitely am.
"Did you?" I said louder more demanding.
He looked at me stunned, but sturdy, "No I had nothing to do with your mothers murder."
I looked at him so more before feeling defeated again.
I knew he was telling the truth.
I just needed to know.
I sit back down on his bed and put my heart to my chest. I let my tears fall out once again as Aiden sits and puts his arm around my shoulder. He pulls me closer to him as I cry in his chest.
"You don't deserve any of this," he whispers to me.
I cry harder as he draws circles behind my back.
He picks my head up and I look straight into his eyes.
"Listen to me."
I'm listening.
"You are a fighter," he says.
I kiss him.
"You are a survivor," he continues
I kiss him again.
"And you will be a champion."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hi guys.
insane chapter I know. I cried writing it and I would say it gets better, but it doesn't. not for a while.
guys I'm still conflicted about the ending. I keep changing and I'm sorry I just want to make it good, but I will figure it out soon. the end of this chapter listed all the book titles (I don't know if I'm doing a third book yet I haven't decided I'm still figuring out the details of the second book, but if I do a third book it will be call the champion).
anyway what did you guys think? Victoria is pissed off. What do you think she is going to do? Do we still trust Aiden? Do you think he is still hiding something. Do we like Bryan or we still don't know yet? I guess we'll find out soon.
details of the second book will come out in the next two chapters. On when I'm starting it and yada yada yada. Actual like description details won't come to the end which is near.
be prepared because I'm obviously not.
I swear in the next two chapters I'm going to have a final layout of the ending I just have so many ideas.
Alright well I'm going to bed.
See ya next chapter which will hopefully be soon.
love y'all
~Gabby