Emmaline
Mike and I were sitting on the couch. I was looking at furniture websites on my phone, and he was holding Jax as our baby napped. He'd been really great about spending all of his non-hockey time with us and was doing whatever he could to help me. Classical music was playing softly over my Bose speaker because Mike was convinced that would make our son a baby genius. He'd selected some Brahms, since it was soothing.
A knock at the door surprised us both. Today was technically our first parent-free experience since my mom had driven back this morning to my hometown of Osgoode, which wasn't far from Ottawa. None of Mike's family, other than his sister, were local.
"You expecting someone?" Mike asked.
"Nope. If I was, I'd have better clothes on."
I was wearing a pair of old ripped flannel pajama bottoms, a nursing bra, and a tank top. This had become my uniform since giving birth.
"I'll get it," he said as he handed the sleeping baby to me.
I watched as Mike opened the door, though I couldn't see who was on the other side since his large frame blocked my view.
"Dude!" I heard him exclaim. "It's so cool of you to stop by, but seriously, you might want to run. Emma is not super happy with you right now."
Oh. So it was Mendes, the only person I was mad enough at to elicit that type of warning.
I saw Shawn peer around Mike's shoulder, offering up a small wave.
"Ugh! Just let him in."
"Be careful," Mike said. "She doesn't have a temper, but she can still be scary."
"I can hear you," I grumbled. "Wash your hands please, Shawn. Soap and water."
He stepped into the bathroom and did as he was told before walking into the living room with several lovely gift bags in his hands.
"So, uh, I wanted to see Jax, and I brought some presents. If you're mad, I can just drop them and go," he said with the most pathetically, yet still adorable, apologetic look on his face.
"You know why I'm pissed?"
He nodded. "I have my suspicions."
Rolling my eyes, I nodded to the seat next to me. "Sit down. I'll yell at you after you meet the baby and give me the presents."
Mike plopped down cross-legged on the floor while Shawn sat on the couch and stared at the baby with the sweetest smile on his face.
"Would you like to hold him?" I asked.
"I think its best if I just admire him from here," he replied nervously.
"It's a breeze, man. You just have to support the head. If I can do it, anyone can," Mike said encouragingly.
"Okay. Sure," our guest reluctantly agreed.
"Put your arms in a cradling position," I instructed. He did this and I carefully placed Jax in his arms. "As long as his head is in the crook of your elbow like that, he's fine."
Shawn gazed down at the little baby in his arms. "Hey, buddy. Remember me?"
I decided not to tell him that talking to the baby while he was sleeping was rather silly.
Mike chuckled. "While we're on the subject of how you met, we owe you a world of thanks. I've asked the general manager if I can get you lifetime season tickets, and he's looking into it."
Shawn smiled. "There's no need to do anything that extravagant. By the way, I was there last night. Great game! Can't wait for the next one."
The Maple Leafs had won game 1, lost game 2, and had won game 3 last night. They were playing here in Toronto again tomorrow night.
"You'll be there?" Mike asked.
"Absolutely."
"I'll get you one of my game jerseys. Text me your seat, and I'll make sure someone brings it to you."
This was so typical of my ex. He was the type to give you the shirt off his back. Literally. Shawn told him his phone number and then Mike texted him back so he'd have his. Once they'd taken care of that, Shawn focused on Jax.
"He's so chill," he remarked. "He doesn't seem to care at all that we're talking."
I leaned over and stroked Jax's head which caused him to wiggle a bit.
"Woah! Don't wake him!" Shawn said. "I won't know what to do."
I laughed. "You basically do what you're doing now, but you get to interact with him, too. It's pretty awesome."
"How do you keep from just holding him and looking at him all day?" he asked. "I don't think I'd ever put him down if he was mine."
"It's our new favorite pastime, and we often have to flip a coin over which one of us holds him," I admitted. "He's just so snuggly."
"I think Emma has a rigged coin because she seems to hold him more. You've got to smell him," Mike added. "I don't understand why he smells so amazing, but he does."
Shawn leaned over and took a sniff. "Wow. That's crazy!"
"It's not so great when he craps his diaper, but I'll give him a pass on that," Mike joked.
"Does he do that often?" he asked as he wrinkled his nose.
"He pooped fairly recently so you're probably safe," I said.
"Want to open your presents?" Shawn asked, nodding towards the gift bags on the floor by his feet.
I handed one bag to Mike so that we'd each have a gift to open. He plunged right into his, pulling out the contents with a disappointed look on his face.
"Pink towels?"
"They're to replace the ones that were in my car. I threw them out because they were kind of gross," Shawn explained.
I couldn't believe he'd found nearly identical towels in the same pale rose color. He certainly wasn't obligated to buy me new ones, but I found it sweet that he had.
"Aw, thanks! That's so considerate. I've been using my old scratchy towels for the last couple weeks," I said as I reached into the bag on my lap. "Did you pick out these bags and put the presents together?"
"Um, no. My mom did that, but I picked out the presents. Oh, and she asked me to check if it was okay to take a picture. She really wanted to see the baby I helped deliver."
"Yes, that's fine," I said.
I unwrapped each item from the light green tissue it was encased in. There were an assortment of NYC baby onesies, a bib, and a really cute alphabet book.
"These are so cute, Shawn!" I said as I held each thing up to admire.
"You got to unwrap the better gift," Mike commented. "Just sayin'"
"I know this is a sore subject, but I wanted to get Jax some New York themed gifts since I told the story of his birth on The Tonight Show."
"I guess we should talk," I said, though I'd almost forgotten that I was mad at him.
Mike hopped up off the hardwood floor. "Look at the time! I've got to get to the rink. We've got a short practice and team meeting."
I knew his practice wasn't for a couple hours. He hated any sort of confrontation, so I wasn't surprised he was choosing to leave.
"It was great meeting you," Shawn said. "Outside of the times we said hi in the elevator, of course."
"The feeling is mutual. Remember to give me your seat number tomorrow!"
Mike then gave me a kiss on the cheek before kissing Jax on the top of his head. "I'll be back tonight with dinner. Text me what you want," he told me before waving goodbye.
Once the door shut, Shawn smiled at me. "You two have such a great relationship."
Shrugging, I said, "We love each other; we're just not in love with each other. It makes all this pretty uncomplicated."
"You say that like it's nothing, yet I've never been able to maintain a friendship with an ex. It hurts too much."
"You haven't had a baby with any of them. That gives us lots of incentive to make things work."
Jax started squirming, and I watched as his eyes fluttered open. He looked up at the stranger holding him and made a small sound.
"Hi, Jax. I'm Shawn."
The baby scrunched up his face and started doing a familiar sucking motion with his mouth.
"Is he okay? Am I doing something wrong?" he asked, panic in his voice.
"Nope he's just hungry. Do you mind if I feed him?"
"No, that's fine," he said as I took the baby from him.
I lifted my tank and popped out my boob. Jax latched on right away and relaxed in my arms. I looked at Shawn and he was watching with a fascinated look on his face, and I suspected he'd probably never had a woman breastfeed right next to him.
"I don't mind because I'm very open, but you should probably know it's a bit weird to stare while a mom is nursing her baby."
He looked up at my face and his cheeks turned bright red. "Shit. I'm sorry. I just haven't seen that done up close. It's kind of amazing, you know? Your body is able to feed this little person."
"It's very amazing. I've never been as proud of my body as I've been since I grew him inside of me, gave birth, and started nursing him."
"You gave birth like a champ. I couldn't believe how easy you made it look," he praised.
"Thanks. I'm glad you were there to catch him. And honestly, I guess it's fine for you to stare at my boob given that you've seen much more of my anatomy than that."
He threw back his head and laughed.
"I hope that wasn't in response to the memory of what you saw," I said, confused by his amused reaction.
"No, it's not that! It's just funny that you mentioned it. I was at the hockey game with my best friend Brian and he joked that I should let you see mine since I saw yours. He said it would put us back on equal ground."
"Are you offering?" I asked as I quirked one eyebrow.
He stood up and started to unbuckle his belt with a wicked grin on his ridiculously good-looking face.
"No!" I said, putting my free hand up. "I don't want to see your dick!"
He laughed and sat back down. "Good, because I wasn't really going to show you. You're already angry with me, I don't need you making fun of my junk, too."
"Well now I'm curious. What's going on down there that I might tease you about."
"Let's just say that I'm a grower, not a shower," he said with a wink.
It struck me that Shawn Mendes was nothing like I'd imagined. He was sweet and funny and so much more down to earth than I thought someone as famous as him could be. His self-deprecating humor was especially endearing.
"Let's talk about the Jimmy Fallon thing," I said. "I was mad. Really mad."
"I'm sorry. I mean that Emmaline. But for the record, I did insist that no names were used, and I even wished I had your number so I could call you to make sure it was okay before the show."
"I know you didn't mean any harm, but I'm a very private person. I hated being photographed when I was out with Mike. Even worse was when a picture of us once made some trashy Toronto gossip site."
He reached a hand up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Jax's delivery had such an impact on me and it made for a really great story. I got carried away."
"I get that, but it was my childbirth story and it belongs to me more than it belongs to you. Does that make sense?"
He nodded. "It does. If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have said anything."
"Thanks. If you could refrain from telling the story during future interviews, that would be great."
"Done. Are we okay now?"
The pleading look on his face got to me. How could anyone ever stay mad at this guy? "We're fine."
Jax popped off my nipple. I put him on my shoulder and burped him before switching him to the other breast. I looked over at Shawn and he was staring straight ahead, avoiding my breasts at all costs.
"The coast is clear. My nips aren't visible,"
Shawn and I talked about his new song while I finished feeding the baby. I'd listened to it many times and loved it. The words were heartbreaking while the tempo was upbeat and danceable. When I was done nursing, I asked him if he'd like to do the second round of burping and surprisingly he agreed. He looked slightly terrified by having Jax in a new position, but he got a good burp out of him. Then I used his phone and took several pics of him with the baby for his mom.
"No putting these on social media," I warned.
"Of course not. Do you put pics of him on Instagram or Twitter, or does your privacy extend to your own accounts, too?" he asked.
"I have two Instagram accounts, but the one I share pics of Jax on is set to private. Only my friends and family can see it, and yes, I do post plenty of pictures of my son."
"Can I follow you?"
It was a simple request, but it astonished me. He was Shawn Mendes, after all.
"Sure," I said.
He added me, and I promised to approve it later. Somehow he convinced me that we should exchange numbers in case I ever needed something and Mike wasn't available. I agreed to that, too.
By the time he left, it was pretty clear that Shawn was getting dangerously close to being my friend. This was somehow crazier than the fact that he'd helped deliver my baby.
~~~~~~
"I took the cutest pic of Jax tonight," I told Jordyn via FaceTime.
The baby was asleep in his crib, and I was catching up with my bestie while watching the game 7 highlights on the late news. Jordyn had been at the game, which had clinched the championship title for the Maple Leafs, but had declined going out with the hockey team after, even though her brother had tried to get her to join them at the Mapleleaf Sports Bar. She said that was way too much testosterone in one place, but I suspected it had more to do with not wanting to go to a drinking establishment.
"Post it," Jordyn said.
"I think I'm posting too much. People are going to start getting annoyed with me."
"Fuck 'em. Your cute pics of my nephew are superior to everyone else's photos of their duckfaces, coffee, or lunch."
"Okay! I'll do it when we're done. His eyelashes are spectacular."
"He def gets that from you, not Mike."
"You say he gets everything from me. Mike contributed to the baby, too!"
"If he can score a hat-trick in the most important game of his career, I promise to give him credit."
"How are your classes going? You studying hard for finals?" I asked, switching the subject.
Jordyn was recently back in college. She'd dropped out halfway through her junior year because she was drinking way too much. She got a job at the Royal Ontario Museum after getting her shit together and had worked there for three years before deciding to go back to school to study history. She rarely drank these days.
"I studied for three hours before the game. Don't worry, I'm working hard."
"I love you, Jordy. I'm sorry if I mother you too much."
She laughed loudly. "Considering how my mom is, I'm thankful I have you. You're only a year older than me, though. Don't forget that."
We said our goodbyes, and I opened Instagram. I selected the photo I'd taken earlier in the evening. No filter was needed, but I labored over a good caption. I didn't want to go too over the top exclaiming that my baby was the cutest (even if he was) because that might insult any other moms. I also didn't want to say something too cliché. My words needs to be both simple and witty, without being annoying.
Jax was wearing a Maple Leafs' onesie, so I opted to go the most obvious route.
Congrats to Daddy! #stanleycup2022
After I posted it, I toddled off to bed. I'd probably get woken up soon, but a couple hours of delicious sleep would tide me over.
Around 3:00 AM, after I'd fed and changed my little dumpling, I picked up my phone. I had several notifications, which was not a huge surprise. I opened IG and saw that I had numerous likes and quite a few comments. The first was from Jordyn.
Jaxon Shawn Radley, you're way too cute for words ❤️
I didn't think much of it until I saw that there was a response to her comment.
Shawn? 🤔
That had been posted by none other than my new buddy Shawn Mendes. I'd never told Jordyn that Shawn and I were now friends on social media, so she didn't know to not include the middle name. I'd practically forgotten myself since he hadn't liked or commented on any of my photos, probably because he didn't want to draw attention to himself.
Shit. The whole name thing was a million times weirder now that we'd sort of gotten to know each other. I was going to smack Mike for convincing me that the middle name was a good idea. I'd been ambivalent about it, and this proved that my gut feeling was justified.
I quickly deleted my entire post and set my phone on the bedside table. Maybe if I just pretended like it never happened, he'd just forget about it.