"You hired her for a modeling gig?" Nate was trying his hardest not to yell, not with Henry in his lap. He now realized that Blair had probably handed him the child as her way of trying to contain his rage when she informed him of her new work for hire.
"Yes, I told you I was interested months ago. Don't act so surprised," Blair sipped her coffee. Nate had been passing by almost everyday lately-- obviously lonely and seeking a distraction from the Ella situation. She was glad to be seeing more of him, but his mood was just going from bad to intolerable now.
"I don't get it," He started bitterly. "She made it seem like she just couldn't bear any more nepotism and now she's gone to you for help-- of all people!"
"This isn't nepotism, Nate," Blair said sharply. "I scouted Ella on my own, it just happened to be at your launch party. She said no to me because she worked for you. That, obviously, has changed, so here we are."
Chuck, reclining in his armchair with a tumbler of whiskey, looked away from the boxing match on his flat screen for a moment. "There's no need for an outburst, Nathaniel. We know you're still hung up on the Vazquez girl, but really..."
"I am not hung up on Ella!"
"Who's Ella?" Henry asked, wide-eyed. He had no idea who this person was-- he couldn't be expected to remember every random woman that had attended one of his mother's dinner parties-- but she'd been the topic of conversation for at least ten minutes now and the curiosity was killing him.
"A friend of Uncle Nate's, honey," Blair explained before turning to the much larger child holding her son. "Nate... You're hung up on Ella."
"What does hung up mean?" Henry interjected again. It sounded like something you did with a phone, not with a person... Nate looked down at his godson and then back up at his friends, eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, guys. Why don't you explain to both of us what that means?" He said pointedly.
Chuck, nonplussed, smiled and made eye contact with his son. "It means Uncle Nate like likes Ella."
"Don't listen to them, Henry. They're just trying to bother me," He muttered to the 6 year old.
"I have a crush on a girl at school," Henry replied, looking up at him. "Her name is Cindy. I asked her to be my girlfriend--."
"His first," Blair sighed romantically.
"Very pretty girl, too. Couldn't be more proud," Chuck smiled dotingly. Henry ignored them and continued.
"Why don't you ask Ella to be your girlfriend if you like like her?" He turned his wide blue eyes on his godfather who squinted back at him.
"You guys have been feeding him lines, huh?" He asked his smug parents.
"Hen, why don't you go find Dorota and see if the cookies are finished?" His mother asked him. He shrugged, old enough to realize when he was being kicked out.
"Okay," He grumbled. He could always just listen at the door if the cookies proved to be a false promise. The child safely out of the room, Blair turned to her old friend with a stern expression.
"I had a long chat with Ella, you know," She informed him. "Apparently, you gave me the wrong impression about your falling out. She isn't trying to scam you for a promotion, she's really just trying to bow out gracefully. Why are you giving her such a hard time?"
"First off, I never told you she was trying to scam me for a promotion-- you jumped to that conclusion on your own," He corrected. "And I'm not giving her a hard time... She's the one who's leaving."
"Have you spoken since your fight?" Blair asked gently. He looked so forlorn when he said she was leaving, it was actually touching.
"No..."'
Blair frowned. "At all?"
"We've been... busy..."
"Bullshit, Nathaniel!" Blair hissed quietly, lest Henry be listening in from the hallway. "She's leaving the Spectator because that's what's best for everyone in this situation, can't you see that?"
"Why is he obliged to keep talking to her?" Her husband interjected, a brow quirked. "Maybe he isn't interested anymore."
"Not interested anymore?" Blair exclaimed. "Just look at him, Chuck! He's falling apart!"
Nate shook his head incredulously.
"I'm literally right here--."
"Nathaniel is not falling apart, he's just had a rough few weeks. He'll recover," Chuck ignored his friend and continued arguing with his wife. "What he needs is to get back out there, have some fun, some drinks, get a new girl--."
"Right, because that always solves everything," Blair pursed her mouth. "Let's ignore his emotional needs and drown him in booze and whores-- what a great suggestion, my love."
"Ahem!" Nate cleared his throat loudly. They both finally turned to him. "You know this is why I don't come over more, right?"
"Nathaniel, we wouldn't be so concerned if you would just talk to us," Chuck told him with a little exasperation. "If you don't like our advice, maybe you should tell us what you want instead of sitting there insisting denial is just a river in Egypt."
"Yes. What he said," Blair nodded. Nate leaned back against the sofa, wilting under their glares.
"If I talk to you...do you promise not to tell Ella? Or the Humphrey's?" He asked, feeling incredibly juvenile.
"If there's anybody who can keep a secret, it's us," Chuck assured him.
"Then..." He sighed. Where to begin? He'd had no one to confide in about this for so long and now there was just so much to sift through. "I know she was under a lot of pressure with her Dad and with work, but... It feels like she wanted to leave just as things were settling down with us."
"So, you are still interested in her?" Chuck followed up.
"Unfortunately," He sighed.
"Why aren't you happy she's leaving then? Doesn't that mean you get to be together?" Blair knit her brows. She was surprised he was actually opening up. It had been a long time coming.
"But we were together before! God, that's what pissed me off the most during our fight, she kept acting like what we were already doing was nothing. Us sleeping together was supposed to be a secret, but it was never... casual, you know? We got along way too well for there not to be feelings mixed into everything. It was the closest thing to a relationship I'd had since... well, since Sage Spencer."
Chuck and Blair nodded, remembering the too-young actress that had been Nate's last official girlfriend.
"And she still had her job, which is the really important thing..." He rubbed his face as he continued. "She only had to leave now because of me, do you understand? She worked so hard at the Spectator and, just like that, all of it means nothing because I couldn't stay away from her. I... I feel like I am to her what Diana Payne was to me."
He shuddered a little at his own comparison, but the thought had been eating him alive. Blair leaned back in her chair, eyes soft with concern.
"Oh. I see. This is a guilt thing."
"I told her everything I could to get her to stay and keep her job-- she wouldn't listen," He shook his head. "What if we keep seeing each other and she resents me if things don't work out wherever she's headed? Which might be the Times for all I know..."
"Nate... Ella isn't afraid of her prospects," Blair said slowly. "I don't think you should be either. You aren't the same as that bitch who used you years ago—You gave her every option, made sure she didn't feel pressured... I think now it's time to accept the decision she's made and support her."
Nate breathed deeply. "You guys keep forgetting she doesn't want anything to do with me. She kicked me out of her apartment, remember?"
"...Have you considered... that you behaved in a rather..." Chuck tried to find the right word. One that was supportive but honest. His wife signaled to him.
"I've got this, babe. To quote Ella, you acted like a "condescending ass,'" She said bluntly. Chuck rolled his eyes. So much for trying to be sensitive. Nate's face fell immediately.
"She said that?"
"She was just upset, sweetie," Blair backtracked. "Now, I'm not saying she didn't also expect you to be a mind reader in this situation and then just blew up on you... but the fight you two had made it seem like you didn't have any faith in her. And telling her you two could just go back to being friends seems to be what made her assume you thought your whole relationship with her was just one for casual fucking... I think that if you just apologized, explained what you feel and how much you believe in her you guys ought to be able to smooth things over."
Smooth things over. Nate considered that. What would that make them? Would they start dating, for real this time? Seeing the pensive expression on his face, Chuck decided to interrupt his brooding.
"Speaking of feelings, I have a question for you, Nathaniel," He sipped his whiskey. "Do you love this girl?"
His friend's eyes opened wide. He hadn't even allowed himself to think the word in relation to Ella.
"I... I don't know," He answered honestly. "I really like her..."
"Is this an infatuation kind of thing that you're going to get over in a few months?" Chuck leaned forward. "Because if it is, I say we all just drop this right here."
Was this infatuation? He considered it.
"I... I don't think so...? She— She's so funny, and smart and— I know she can talk a big game and say inappropriate shit at the worst times, but she might be the kindest, hardest working person I've ever met..." He swallowed past the lump in his throat. Jesus, he was getting choked up and both his friends were staring at him now like he was growing another head out of the side of his neck. He didn't know how else to describe this feeling. He'd been in love before but he'd always fallen so easily that he'd learned to be skeptical of his own emotions as he entered adulthood. Ella, though... She wasn't just some beautiful woman on a pedestal, too above him to really get close to. She wasn't just an idea he liked. She was a person, with her quirks and her flaws and her stupid jokes. And he really, really liked that person. He shook his head to snap out of his reverie. "If these last few months with her showed me anything, it's that I don't want her to just disappear from my life. She's... she's my best friend."
There was a moment of silence and his eyes went straight to Chuck who raised an eyebrow.
"Well, fuck you, too, I guess. So much for the bro code," Chuck laughed. "But... maybe you love her, man. You don't have to rush anything, but... you can't let her get away either. Not if she's your best friend, Nate."
Nate blew out a breath. He was in love with Ella. He let the thought float around his head, getting used to it. It sounded oddly right. Best friends who fuck... he looked at Blair and Chuck. Isn't that what strong romantic relationships were, at their very essence?
"I need a drink," He concluded, rubbing at his eyes.
Blair scoffed a little, having been watching his expression absorbedly. So much for a romantic revelation. Chuck laughed, stood from his chair and clapped his friend on the back.
"I've got a little chronic, too, if you really want to relax..."
"You two take that outside and make sure Henry doesn't catch you, or else!" Blair threatened. She shook her head. Men had such terrible coping mechanisms.