"Knock knock." Gemma raps her knuckles against the hollow dry-wall.
*NARRATOR'S POV*
Louis looks up at her filled with dread, mounting his nerves and arteries like hot mercury. He curlsup even more as he tries to disappear into the wall. Maybe she's just taking a guess? How can shepossibly see through all the blackness engulfing them?
"I can see you, you know." She sounds bored, stepping out of the obscenely narrow passageway toalmost crush Louis' vermin friend's tail.
He remains quiet and motionless. His body is freezing and he's starting to stiffen in all his joints andmuscles where the cold got to be too much. He wasn't a space heater - nor did he have someonewho was present - so he began the terrible process of being chilled to death.First, his teeth chattered.The cold got to the calcium-rich molars via his sharp intakes of air, letting it heat up in his mouthfor a long time before exhaling. He didn't want that much cold air so he took a few breaths.
"It took me-" Gemma takes up crouching in front of him, staring at his nude state with eyes ofdisgust. "-a whole year to find this spot. Wanna know why?"
Next, his ears and nose turned frosty red. He hated the cold here and wondered why suddenly it wasso abundant. Even his eyelids got heavy, his eyeballs drying up and burning when he blinked.
"It's not meant to be found." She whispers to him, some voice lurking beneath her own and makingit scratchy.
Louis turns his head and meets her line of vision. It's as cold and twisted as he feels inside. Hisfingers and toes were surely numb now, unable to act on command from the nervous system. Thatrat was about him again, but this time it offered warmth so he didn't care when it found a homeagainst his abdomen.
"Look." She pinches Louis' waist and he's too close to shutting down his system to flinch. "Look upat the heart and soul of this house."
He's made to look up by the harshness of her thumb jerking his chin in the direction she aims. Asound meant to be a scream is born as such but dies a low gasp in his throat when suddenly lightfills the room and he's staring at writing on the wall.Writing in blood on the wall because it'd red and dripping even after so many years, decadesof having time to dry up. Louis' scream gears up but Gemma smothers it with her hand, still smilingas rivulets of red dripped down onto the floor.'
It was better in Hell.'
Following the red droplets as they gravitated towards the floor, Louis' gaze falls on the source of theblood. At least a dozen rats lay split, cut and possibly chewed open by a hole in the wall too big to be their own home. The blood is definitely bound by some spell, for it doesn't stop rolling untilLouis feels it strike his feet.
"How cute." Gemma touches the blood, rolling it between her fingers.
The rat that followed Louis was not trying to harass him. It was just as terrified as him and soughtsafety in a creature bigger than it was. The rat turned out to be much smaller, a white mouse withlong pink tail. It burrowed into Louis' tummy without harming him, squeaking when Gemma caughtit.
Louis used what strength he had left to take the creature back, protecting it in the cradle of hispalms away from her.Is this what death felt like? Was it finally over? Louis hopes so at this point. It's too exhausting to goon when every move he made meant a new enemy, a new trap to death.Edward was unhappy with him. Harry was sick of trying to help him. His mother is dead. His fatherwon't miss him after he wakes up and realises whose fault it is that his coma came about. Niallresented him as a friend.
He had a mouse in his hands he couldn't protect and his sisters hardlyknew he existed.No one would miss him. He hoped so. The last thing he wants is more misery caused by his actionsand his words. He's surrounded by monsters but considers himself the worst.So now, with the flickering of a brief light interval that was awarded to him, Louis' vision began todim. His internal organs were shutting down and his mind was becoming too slow to function.
"I want you to scream." Gemma sits down cross-legged, snapping her fingers by his ear. "Screamand let my brother find you."Louis couldn't.
He was too charred inside, too spent and broken. He hasn't eaten or drank all dayand his sleep was little. The mouse in his hands didn't let him give up, sniffing his fingers whenthey loosened just the slightest.The writing on the wall was flickering now, but not the light. Like an illusion or mirage it began tofade. Louis watched the blood drain away and the wallpaper come back clean. The hole in the wallwas still there but the mutilated rats were gone.Suddenly a scream was heard. It was his voice but it wasn't him. The disembodiedvoice wasn't shouting a name or any word other than a long, unrelenting cry. Gemma was gone asquickly as she came and Louis fell onto the floor. His side got stuck on the sticky wood, handfalling open and the mouse tumbling out. It crawled back into any crevice it could find.
"Louis!" There was a voice that answered and warm air tugged on Louis' ear.
A person breathed over him but Harry only arrived after ten heartbeats, and Edward wasn't thereuntil Harry shouted for him. The hot air was gone as soon as Harry fell to his knees, speaking withjust moving lips but no sound as he urgently removed his shirt to drape over Louis.Edward did the same when he arrived. They both looked so worried that even in Louis' dehydratedand uncomprehending state, he wondered why. He felt a heavy coat being thrown over him and closed his eyes. The mouse never released him, feeling indebted to the boy who couldn't savehimself but protected it.
"Shit! He's so cold." Harry got to his feet and picked Louis up into his arms carefully."Get him out. Now."
Edward chased his brother down the narrow hallway, getting them both outbefore the darkness seemed never-ending.Harry didn't stop running until he saw their bedroom down the correct hallway, then never pausingonce before he got Louis to the bathroom. Edward was running too, rushing to keep up with hisbrother with bloodstained clothing and hands.And if he heard someone behind him, felt something breathe down his neck he made sure to notturn around.
* * * * *
"He's warming up." Harry ran his fingers over Louis' cheek that was finally its healthy pinkcomplexion.
He had Louis in the large tub with him, on his lap and knocked out on his shoulder. They filled theporcelain construction with hotter than warm water and each worked on rejuvenating the body heatthat Louis needed. Edward sat opposite them with the boy's feet in his lap, massaging them veryhaphazardly due to inexperience.
"Thank fuck." Edward kissed whichever part of their petal he could reach and his lips landedsquarely on his knee.
Harry was burning up in the water with sweat on his brow and every part of him that wasn't underwater. He couldn't bring himself to care though, so he pressed his mouth to Louis' neck and rubbedthe boy's tummy some more.
"What was he doing in there, Harry?" Edward kept on working his hands over Louis' legs, slippingcloser so he could lather up the thighs of his fantasies.
"He just-" Harry pinched the bone of his nose. "He fucking ran and I couldn't catch him intime."
"Why did he run?" Edward permanently placed his mouth on the point closest to Louis' knee. Hetasted the water and the lavender skin.
"He had a bad dream." Harry's fingers combed through Louis' wet hair, the trickle of water now asoothing sound. "I didn't listen to him when he said he wanted to cuddle."
Edward repositions Louis against his brother's chest so he's more comfortable and least likely to getkinks in his neck. He takes Louis' lifeless hand and holds it like he's conscious. His lips separate tosuck a little of the taste on Louis' skin into his mouth.
"I hope he's still in subspace." Edward says, sounding a little regretful. "If he is, when he comesback he won't remember anything."
Harry agreed and nodded to show that he did. He set the sponge and soap down, feeling the firstsigns of his petal waking up by the twitching of his fingers against his hip.
"He's waking up." He told Edward, them both preparing for something - anything - positive to comefrom this.Louis slowly slipped out of the glove he had been packed into where everything was cold and wallsdripped with blood from centuries ago. He awoke with a gasp and not a thrilled one, his armsflailing and splashing water in an unhappy accident
."Shh. Shh, petal." Harry's voice shook like he was caught spending his slumber in a demon'shome.It wasn't easy to calm Louis down.
He resisted them with all his weak might, causing even Edwardto sound pained when he had to pin Louis down. Blue eyes had turned red with strain and fatigue,the panic within the boy's small body turning toxic and terrifying.
"Look at me." Edward forced Louis to stop pushing Harry's arms away. "Look here, darlin'."
Louis had to be held and made to look at Edward. His expression told of a horror inside him, a newmemory that will cripple him in some way. Neither twin could help him if he ever remembered thatroom
."I'm real." Edward put Louis' hands on his face. "I'm not going to hurt you, baby."
The arms around him weren't Edward's and when Louis finally settled at the reminder of knowingthis man, he scratched harmlessly at Harry's forearms. He made a tiny noise of discontent when hecouldn't turn around.
"He's real too, petal." Edward watches as Louis relaxes into Harry.Unfortunately the peace didn't last long for Louis was suddenly frantic all over again. He triedstanding up but Harry wouldn't let him. Louis was searching for something and he got veryunsettled when they weren't letting him look
."What is it, petal?" Edward had Louis in the curve of his arm, his bicep and forearm trapping theboy against his shoulder.
"What are you looking for?"Louis held onto Edward like a child. He breathed quickly and in short pants, his head turned to theside and hair untidy on his head. All that ended when Louis got see a small white furball rustlingamongst his clothing.
"Sweet, sweet boy." Edward had become shaky himself, overwhelmed all on his own by such aviolent outburst. "You're safe now, petal. Do you know that?"
Instead of answering, Louis looked down at his lap. He couldn't find his voice. He didn't knowwhere to begin searching for it or how to figure it out. Something he saw in that room, the breaththat blew puffs into his ear. It all took away more from him than any amount of conventionaltrauma. What was in there was evil and he lived under the same roof as it.
"Petal?" Harry leaned forward. When his chest pressed along Louis' back the boy jumped towards Edward and checked over hisshoulder to see who it was.
"Oh no, petal." Harry was so depraved in his voice, as if anguished by this behaviour.
Edward felt it too, and to no lesser a degree. He felt like someone lodged an eternally hot poker inhis chest. Watching Louis who met as so fiery and assertive, broken down by a pile-up of misery iscracking to the toughest of shells.
"He's not talking." Edward pointed out when he held Louis' head in his hands, searching those eyesbut they were blank and giving nothing away.
"Why isn't he talking?"Louis wanted to shout that he was lost in his own mind, his own body. He couldn't get a grasp on Afrom B anywhere and he's become totally dependent. For now he struggled to think and breathe atthe same time, talking could kill him.
"I should have made you talk." Edward groaned, the poker going deeper. "I should not have what Idid. Petal, I'm so sorry. Baby, talk to me.""
What?" Harry frowned as he crossed an arm over Louis' chest protectively. "What did you do?"
Edward sighed in disgrace, giving Louis another kiss on his forehead. "When you were gone he hadan attack. A panic attack. He slept and awoke completely blank for a few seconds." He stopped tobreathe, memorising the look in Louis' eye that he sees now as he saw it before. "I wanted to leavehim alone to think but I couldn't and.....you found us."
It was his fault Louis was like this, and he knew it very well. If he'd gotten the boy to talk about hismother and the Russian then maybe he'd be better equipped to handle this. Maybe he'd be talkingand willing to comprehend. Now looking at Louis was heartbreaking because the boy was pushedand pushed, finally at breaking point.
"Fuck, you bastard." Harry wasn't going to let Edward hold any part of Louis now.
He watched over him like a baby and protected him like he should be protected. Edward didn'tdeserve to have a piece of someone so beautiful when he wouldn't appreciate it.Louis started to shake but it wasn't from a fever or a horrible recollection. Harry stood up in the tuband stepped out with Louis trying not to fidget in his grip. Louis only fussed when he walkedstraight into the bedroom rather than going for the white furball amongst his clothes.
"Okay, okay." Harry let the boy wrap around like a vine as he comforted him in his ear. Louis wasso committed to that mouse and nobody but he understood why."He can't touch that thing."
Edward tied a towel around his hips, eyes on Louis. Always onLouis."Wash it?"
Louis was still trying to reach for the creature and Harry had a Hell of a time restraininghim. "Can we do that with mice?"
"Think so." Edward flicked his hair to the side when it crept onto his eyelashes. "I'll do it."
Edward isn't too careful with their petal's new pet. He hates the sight of it and snatches up a pair ofsurgical gloves from the mirrored cabinet before he even touched the poor thing. It tries escapinghim so many times but he'll recapture and re-do the process of washing a million times if it meansLouis will be a little closer to happy.Finally the damn thing is clean with sneezes from near its whiskers and looking like a newborn birdwith its pink skin visible from under the fur. Edward dries it without snapping its neck while Harrygets Louis dressed in appropriate clothing.
"Do you like this?" Harry was internally begging with Louis to start talking, those prayers visible inthe way he stared so intently at the fidgety boy.Louis wasn't even looking at him, focus wandering to everything else as he stood with a towel overhis shoulders.
"Petal." He said firmly but softly and his target looked at him. "Take off the towel, baby."
Feeling fuzzy as he tried to process the command, Louis dug his nails into the fluffy white towelaround him. It was wet but warm and he couldn't stand the cold even for a beat.Harry sighed and walked up to him, taking the towel off Louis' body and dropping it to the floor. Hethinks briefly about how he'd let his own mind drift into getting distracted at the sight of Louis'body. At this point in time he's riddled with less physically pleasing thoughts.
"Up." He says as he raises Louis' arms for him, pulling a large sports jersey over his head. He putthem down. "Good boy."
Louis was content to be dressed this way and go fetch his pet from Edward in the bathroom, butHarry had underwear in his hand he had to put on. Harry got on his knees and tapped Louis' rightleg with his whole hand.
"Up." He said, hoping the boy will understand.He feels a very small victory when Louis does lift his foot quickly enough for the underwear to slipon. The process is repeated with the second leg and Louis gets the reward of a kiss on his cheek
."My good boy." Harry delays a little bit longer and embraces Louis tightly, wholeheartedly.
His nose buries itself in Louis' drying hair and he breathes in deeply what he can salvage from thesmaller male. Louis in return touches Harry's biceps with cautious grazes, settling in a firm hold. It'sgood enough for them both. Louis' left stranded in the whirlwind, hurricane but also desolateisolation of his empty mind.
He's walking from wall to wall in a body he's had since birth, feelingutterly foreign in it.Wall to wall, crevice to corner and nook to cranny. Nothing to find and nowhere to go. He wants toscream at the top of his lungs and tell Harry that he's miserable but fighting it. The battle'sbecoming harder because his mind is draining itself of what intelligence it once had.
It wasdwindling and he had to get it back before it was all gone.Edward appeared from the confines of the bathroom still wearing surgical gloves and holding therodent in his right hand. While the creature displayed no signs of appreciation towards Edward, once given to Louis it wrapped its tail around the boy's finger and sniffed his hand. Louis is happyto see him, another survivor of the memory he wants to erase.
"Let's feed you, petal." Harry says slowly, taking Louis with him to the door so Edward can be leftalone to put clothes on.
It's a sound kick in the teeth for Edward with a deafening crack to top it all off. Louis wasn't at faultfor this and he knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to admit that he was an idiot today andmight have prevented all this if he controlled himself. He turned into a beast with no willpoweraround Louis, wanting always and taking even when he wasn't offered.He netted up those emotions for later and joined them downstairs for a meal he's been craving. Thekitchen is spotless and no employees are to be seen, or Gemma for that matter. In the lounge satLouis cross-legged on a sofa directly facing the television that he ignored, his thumb brushing backand forth over the mouse's body. He was gentle even then, not pressing too hard or scratching.
"What are you giving him?" Edward asks when he walks past his brother to the fridge
."Future Life." Harry responds, mixing in the high protein cereal with cold milk in a deep bowl.
That will put weight on Louis quickly and healthily. It's a good choice and Edward let's Harry knowthis. He takes a bottle of water with him to the lounge and sits on a couch alongside Louis'. The boyhad taken the largest, but he didn't use any extra space.Louis didn't seem to take notice of Edward. He sat with his legs like a pretzel on the couch'scushion, unaffected by everything around him and it scared his companions. Should this behappening at all? They weren't able to handle something like this no matter their desire to.
"Petal?" He tried speaking through the break in his voice, sitting forward with his elbows on hisknees.
It took thirty seconds for Louis to realise that it was him being called. With his head bowed,he moved his eyes to his peripheral and looked at Edward without turning towards him. It could becute if it wasn't because he was terrified it might not be Edward.But it was. It really was Edward studying him like a priceless framework and he smiled because heknows Edward. He sits up straighter and his teeth peeked out from behind his lips when he smiledwith familiarity. It made something pleasant and painful swell in Edward's chest.
"Hey, petal." Edward extended his hand towards Louis, hoping this could work.It did.
Louis was happy to accept that gesture and wake up to go where it took him. Edward sat backand made room for the boy on his lap, helping Louis to position himself comfortably.
"What are you doing?" Harry did not look glad when he skipped both descending stairs to stride upto them.
Edward had to calm him down before he made Louis afraid further. "He's fine with it."
"No." Harry' hands sealed so tightly around the bowl of cereal that Edward thought it would break.Louis buried his face in Edward's shirt, holding his mouse friend close so it didn't get hurt either. Hefisted the plaid and faded material as he tried to ignore Harry because he was comfortable here. Noneed to move."You're scaring him."
Edward covered Louis' one exposed ear. "Shut up and give me the cereal."
Harry huffed out in dire exasperation and sat down beside his infuriating sibling, not surrenderingthe food. He mixes it one more time before trying to talk to Louis.
"Hey, petal?" He traces Louis' delicate cheekbone, and Louis only flinches once before raising hishead.
"There you are."Louis started to eat but not with his own hands because they were still very uncoordinated.
Harryfed him by the tablespoon, each one full and Louis swallowed without almost bringing the foodback up. One bowl was polished off but Harry wouldn't be appeased until Louis made him stop, sohe got another and then another.
Louis' body had been starved and needed the energy back. Just this menial type of food had himfeeling a little more welcome in his own body suit, starting to remember these little things as theyhappened. He shook his head when he was full and sat back against a cushion. Edward kissed hisforehead and the boy smiled broadly.The mouse sat on Louis' tummy over his shirt, eating a cube of cheese without a care much for thejostling around it.
"Petal." Edward placed his hand over Louis' thigh, rubbing back and forth his thumb.
Louis looked at him and his eyes weren't so empty this time, void of a sense of mutual intelligence.It was coming back but the worst of the memories had yet to resurface so the hardest hurdle was yetto be passed.
"Do you know where you are?" Edward doesn't think Louis spent time trying to figure that out yet.
Louis' eyes darted to every wall in the room and when it reached the window he made a noise. Anunpleasant sound before cowering his way into the fold of Edward's arms. Harry woke up and drewthe curtains, shutting out the shadows of tall trees that were growing on their floor.
"Better?" Edward made Louis look, just a set of cerulean jewels peeking out from his shoulder.
Louis liked the change so he nodded and smiled gratefully at Harry when the other brother returned.Tree shadows are monstrous and he's glad Harry came back to him.
"What do you think he saw?" Harry watched the mouse abandon Louis' shirt and crawl up into hishand.
Edward shook his head, eyes closed as he shoved the possibilities out. "We're closing off that place.It never should have been open."
"What about-
""It'll have to wait." Edward cut him off.
His brother was going to question whether or not they'd still keep doing what they did before theMadhouse, as the promised. They couldn't until Louis was back with them.
"Look at him." Edward cupped Louis' cheek and his fingers slipped out to behind his head. Staringearnestly into picture perfect blue eyes, he spoke ominously.
"What did you see in there, petal?"Louis was emotionless and he looked back at Edward without depth like he used to.
Every look,each touch and any word from their boy had meaning. It still did but now it was much weaker, farless impressive.To Louis it was like being stuck in a cage with not even a door fantasize about escaping through.
The bars had thickened and now he's just locked up on a steel cube that's cold and where writingappears on the walls. He's terrified and cold and alone.He sometimes sees a door but it's a mirage and doesn't last long to even grant him the mercy of anillusion. With nowhere to go and nothing to hide behind, he sits in the center of this cage. All he cando is listen to the voices he heard in that room. See the dead rats and the bleeding walls.
Louis wants to shout for help and maybe reassure the twins that he's here, not completely gone.He'll come back if he knows how to, has enough energy to do so.All that comes out is a tear. One tear that slips out of the corner of his eye and dies at the pad ofEdward's thumb.There's still meaning, Edward convinces himself. He wipes the dampness away and brands a kiss tothat spot. Louis has to come back. He has to find his way back.
"Come back to us." Edward's words are throttled by what he's trying to contain and not scare Louiswith. "I have something to say and I won't say it until you can say it back."