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A couple of days had passed and El still hadn't told Mike.
She wanted to, needed to really, but every time she tried the words just got stuck and there was nothing she could do to get them out.
She was afraid, so afraid of how he'd react once he knew what she did.
She had a good feeling that he'd be angry, of course he would be.
But would he be so angry that he'd never want to see her again? Would he never want to talk to her again? Would she never get to kiss him or hold him in her arms again the way that she loves to? Would she lose him over something she never even meant to hurt him by doing?
Those questions ran through her head constantly, to the point that she was absolutely terrified to tell him anything. It had become so hard for her to simply look at him the same, an insane amount of guilt rushing through her each time she laid eyes on him.
Really, she didn't know how he couldn't just tell that something was up with her. If he did, he would surely be able to force this secret out of her and she'd have no choice but to face the consequences.
Mike clearly had bigger things to worry about right now though, so it wasn't too likely that he would notice how weird she was acting.
He spent most of his time worrying about everything going on with his mom. He worried over it so much so that El could tell it was killing him. He didn't know what was going to happen to his mom or if his dad would do anything worse.
He was making as much of an effort as he could to go see his mom and to get this all sorted out, but he wasn't having much luck with that one.
El could see how much this was bothering him and wanted to take his mind off of it all, even if just for an hour or two. He needed a distraction and she could at least give him that, which is what led the two to reclaiming their spot on the bridge at Lover's Lake.
They were currently sitting with their legs dangling over the edge, El's head resting against Mike's shoulder. The birds were chirping in the far off trees and the sun was beaming off the water that pooled below them. It felt so nice out and if they had been here under better circumstances, she knew they'd be having a great time.
Mike hadn't said much though and neither had she, which she didn't have too much of a problem with. She wanted him to have a break from it all and if he wanted to do that silently, then she'd sit here with him as long as he needed her to.
After a bit of time had passed, she figured she would check on him. She could feel his steady breathing as she clung on to his arm, but she needed to hear his voice. She needed to hear something, to know what was going on in that pretty head of his.
"Hey, you okay up there?" She asked, tilting her head up to look at him. "You've been awfully quiet."
Mike gave her the smallest of smiles, attempting to reassure her that he was fine. "I'm just worried."
It seemed her plan to clear his mind hadn't gone as she'd hoped it would. It was wishful thinking really, she probably wouldn't be able to stop him from worrying about this no matter what she does.
El let go of his arm, reaching her hand up to turn his face back toward her. "Hey, I know it might not seem like it now, but it'll all be okay, Mike. I know it will."
Whether he believed her words or not, he nodded his head softly and wrapped an arm around her, placing a tender kiss to her head along the way.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"I guess just for being here with me." He shrugged, smiling down at her. This time it was a real smile though and El couldn't resist leaning up and planting a kiss on his cheek, before snuggling closer into his chest.
They sat there, just like that, letting the silence take over, until they both found themselves getting so hungry that that needed to leave. They decided they'd go somewhere to eat instead of ordering pizza and hiding away in her house like they usually do.
El did insist they run by her house first so she could change before they went to eat. Mike assured her she looked perfectly fine, which led to them playfully bickering back and forth. He ended up giving in to her wishes and they were soon back at her house.
"Okay, I'm gonna run up and change. I'll be right back." El hollered out as she took off up the stairs, leaving Mike to wait for her near the front door. He figured she wouldn't take too long so he stayed put, until he heard heavy footsteps.
He looked up to find El's dad walking in the room, looking a little surprised. "Mike, what are you doing standing over there like a guest in our home? You live here now too, if my memory serves?"
"I'm just waiting on El to change." Mike said, sighing at the thought of how long it could possibly take her up there. "We're going to eat and she said she didn't want to look like a bum."
The man snorted, shaking his head at his daughter's antics. "Does she not know that she's too pretty to ever look like a bum?"
"That's what I told her!" Mike shrugged, chuckling as he leaned against the back of the couch.
"Hey, I hope things are going okay with you, Mike?"
Mike eyed the man skeptically, confused as to why he suddenly looked so concerned for him. "Uh, yeah. Things are fine?"
"Good, that's good. My friend down at the station told me he's been doing as best as he can trying to get your situation sorted out. I heard El tell them herself that it was your father, so I'm not quite sure how your mother ended up in trouble. It'll all be fine though, I'm sure of it." Her dad gave him a light pat on the back, failing to notice the way Mike's face fell.
He could only stand there, frozen, taking in what he'd just learned.
All too soon, El came rushing down the stairs all changed and ready to go. She grabbed her things from the where she had tossed them on the couch, before she finally took notice of the weird look on Mike's face.
Her dad, however, was as clueless as ever. "Well, I'm going to take a nap, make sure you lock the door on your way out, El."
"Yeah, okay." She mumbled, her eyes still locked on Mike.
"You alright?" El asked him, searching his face for a clue as to why he was looking like someone had just metaphorically ran over his puppy dog. He didn't say anything. Instead, he walked right out of the room, heading toward the front door.
"Mike!"
She watched as he left her house, letting the door slam shut behind him.
"Dad, did you say something to Mike?" El hollered out, knowing that he hadn't made it up to his bedroom just yet. As she suspected, he appeared, popping his head out of the laundry room.
"I just told him the police will work everything out. You told them it was his dad, not his mom, so it was clearly some kind of misunderstanding."
"Oh no." El instantly paled at the fact that he knew what she did. To make it even worse, he had found out from her dad, not her.
"Did you not tell him yet??"
"No! I didn't!" She shouted as the panic sunk in. She instantly took off running after him, in hopes to stop him from leaving before she could talk to him. Luckily, he was only just nearing his car once she made it to him.
"Mike wait!"
At the sound of her voice, he suddenly spun around, bringing her to an abrupt halt right in front of him. "El, please tell me it's not true."
El opened her mouth to speak, but froze. She wanted so badly to tell him that it wasn't true, but it was and she couldn't lie to him. She wouldn't.
Her face fell, causing his to do the same as he took her silence for the answer he didn't want to hear.
"I trusted you El. You were the only person I trusted with this, the only person!" He sadly spoke, the hurt more than evident on his face.
"Please just let me explain!"
"I can't hear your explanation right now." He told her, shaking his head as he slowly backed away from her. El swore there were tears in his eyes. Then again it could just be hers clouding her vision. "I just, I need to go."
Without another word, Mike hopped in his car and drove away, leaving her there feeling ten times worse than she already felt.
•
"El! Oh my God, you didn't answer any of my calls or texts! I was so worried about you!" Max exclaimed in a hurry, as soon as she pulled El through her front door. El didn't give her an answer, only sniffling a couple of times, making it aware that she had been crying. "Oh crap, what's wrong? Was it Mike? Did he do something? I swear-"
"No it was me." El blurted out, sighing defeatedly. "I fucked it all up Max."
"What do you mean? What did you do, El?"
El took one look at her concerned best friend and let it all pour out, everything that had happened to Mike, everything that she'd done, all of it. It hurt her worse the second time around, thinking of the way had Mike looked at her when he found out. God, why couldn't this have worked out the way she'd wanted it to?
"I completely understand why you did what you did, believe me, I do, but why did you tell if he told you not to? I mean, he told you what could happen..." Max finally asked, only turning El more hysterical.
"It was the right thing to do, I know it was. Do you know how horrible it feels to have to see that! I mean, his dad just hurts them like it's nothing." El explained frantically, while unable to keep herself from remembering the time she had even seen it happen with her own eyes. That man was terrifying and she got chills just thinking about the damage he'd done. "I thought if I did something myself it would help and everything would be okay and... he'd be okay."
El reached up, carelessly wiping at her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. "But now he probably doesn't even want to be around me anymore."
Max couldn't help but scoff at the thought. "I'm sure that's no-"
"And you know what's funny? I made that stupid bet all those months ago to get him to fall in love with me, so he'd feel like shit when I didn't love him back... but now I'm the one who loves him! I love him, Max and I'm sure the only thing he feels for me is hatred. It's like we're going right back to how it was at the start, except I'm the one who has to deal with feeling like shit now."
Max instantly wrapped El up in a hug, her concern only growing as she held El tighter. She had never seen her this upset before, especially to the point where he had to hold her crying self in her arms. On top of that, she truly didn't know how to help her feel better.
"Does Mike know how you feel about him? How you really feel?" She asked while pulling out of the hug. El wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, shaking her head quickly.
"No, he doesn't, at least I haven't told him. I only just realized it myself."
"Maybe you should tell him everything you just told me." Max shrugged, feeling that the idea was as good as any. "Explain yourself, you deserve the chance to."
"I don't know..." El pondered, feeling nothing but doubt just thinking about trying to explain things to him. "He just looked so disappointed, not once has he ever looked at me that way."
"We both know the reason for that, El. The idiot loves you."
"You think?"
"Oh, I know." Max assured her, lightly nudging her in the arm. "I know Lucas and I like to tease you two, but we really do think you guys are great together. We see the way you act around each other, the way you look at each other. I mean, Mike looks at you like you are the very thing that makes his world go 'round. He'll forgive you, I know he will. He loves you too much to let you go."
El sighed, before seeking out another hug from her best friend. "I hope so."
That's all she could do was hope... hope that Max was right, about all of it.