Chapter Three
Soroya
I growl at an incoming creature coming towards me, watching as it's large claws tear at the ground to get a piece of me. I slash at the creature's chest, biting into it's neck. I jump onto the back of another creature, tearing at it until it drops to the ground too.
I glance up, looking around at the millions of creatures surrounding us. They're flying through the sky, marching towards us on the ground, and at the center of them is Thanos.
I see Thanos look directly at me, smiling at me as he brings his hand up. His left hand holds the gauntlet, with all of the infinity stones shining brightly as he snaps his fingers.
He begins to laugh, watching as my teammates begin to dust away. The creatures stand by to watch also, not bothering to quench their thirst for blood. They seem to get enough pleasure from watching the horror and sorrow come across my face.
One by one everyone I know, everyone I love turns into ashes floating in the air. Bucky stands a few feet from me, his arm slowly beginning to fade away.
He holds his hand out towards me, seeming to scream my name, but no noise comes out of his mouth. I run towards him, but no matter how fast I tear at the ground, I don't seem to move at all. His face grows more frantic, practically screaming my name as his legs begin to disappear.
I shift back into human form, trying to crawl towards him, trying to get to him. I feel the screams come from my mouth, but they sound almost muffled. I dig my nails into the dirt, I kick at the ground, I try to launch myself forward in any way. But I still don't move.
Finally, with one last scream leaving his lips, Bucky fades to dust. I watch as his ashes float away in the in coming breeze. I let out another scream, hitting the ground repeatedly until my hands begin to bleed. I hear laughing come from behind me and I look back to see Thanos smiling down at me. He lifts his hand and gestures towards me. All at once, the creatures advance on me; their teeth snarling, their growls sounding like demons from hell—
I bolt up in the bed, feeling the last of a yell escape my lips. I grip the sides of my head, focusing on the pressure of my fingers on my temple, but it doesn't seem to calm me down. I try to count my breaths, but sobs begin to slip from my lips.
Bucky woke up when I did; repeatedly asking me what's wrong. His voice sounds frantic, full of fear, and it's this that makes me meet his eyes.
He's breathing very heavily, his eyes full of worry as he pushes a strand of hair from my face. I let the tears fall, trying to find the words to tell him what I just dreamt of. But I can't. It was too horrific.
Bucky knows nightmares better than anyone and he doesn't push me to talk. He pulls me towards him, wrapping his arms around me. One of his hands is rubbing my back, while the other is holding the back of my head. I have my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and I press my face into his bare shoulder as I continue to sob.
I hear him hum something to me. It takes me a moment before I realize he's humming Moon River. It comforts me better than anything else, allowing me I find to begin to calm down.
"Thanos was back," I whisper, trying to take a deep breath. "He-he had the infinity stones again. When he snapped his fingers, you started to dust away again. I-I tried to get to you, but no matter how ha-hard I tried I couldn't. I watched you scream my name as you tried to reach for me. I could do was watch as you died again. Thanos stood there and laughed."
Bucky can't give me any words of comfort. How can he? Thanos may be dead, but he was dead once and managed to come back. He killed Bucky once, he could have a second time if not for Tony. He can never assure me nothing like that will happen again. He can't guarantee me he won't die, whether it's by Thanos or not. All I could do now was cling onto him and let the tears fall.
Bucky pulls back, brushing my hair from my face again before cupping my cheeks. "Thanos is dead. The Infinity stones are gone. Neither of them are in this reality at all anymore. Thanos can't hurt us anymore."
"He'll always hurt us. That man has haunted me for five years...I thought when you came back the nightmares might go away. But I think now that you're back, I'm even more afraid of-of anything happening to you."
He wipes my tears away. "The only way HYDRA and Thanos can hurt us is in our dreams. They're gone. As hard as it is to believe, it's true. We're safe. I promised you I wouldn't leave you again and nothing, not Thanos or the infinity stones, will change that."
I nod my head, taking in a shaky breath. Bucky leans forward and kisses my forehead gently. "Come here, sweetheart." He says to me, pulling me against him as he lays back down. I rest my head against his chest, curling my hands against my own. He keeps one arm around me, lazily running his fingers up and down my back. I find the contact comforting, almost grounding. Even as I begin to calm down, I don't go back to sleep. I am too afraid I'm going to wake up and he won't be there. Like it was another dream.
-
I decided I needed a day to be alone with Bucky. Alex and Khari didn't mind at all. I knew they were dying to spend some time together. After last night, I really needed to be with him.
We decided to get away from all the tourist attractions and all of the people. There are so many beautiful forests here and so much wild life. It's perfect for a hike. Greece is away from the toxic exhaust from the cities and corporations that America is subjected to everyday. Greece is in it's own bubble that has been seemingly untouched and preserved in it's natural beauty. It reminds me of Wakanda in this way. But nothing, not even Greece, could be more beautiful than Wakanda.
"Khari told me something yesterday," Bucky says, helping me over a log. He and I have been walking through the forest for some time. I can tell it has made him feel much calmer. I know it makes me feel that way. "He said you've been seeing a therapist for the past few years."
I nod to him. "I have. The first few months after you both died...I was in a really bad place. Talking to a professional really helped. I told her about everything, including HYDRA and my assassin days. She said I have major PTSD, which makes sense. She's been helping me work past it, as well as what happened with Thanos."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I shrug, letting out a deep breath. "I don't know. I guess I've just been so distracted with having you back I haven't thought about it. I think it would help you, talking to someone I mean."
Bucky tucks his hands into his jean pockets. "Khari said that too. And maybe you're right. Do you really think it will help?"
I nod. "We have been through too much to ever fully be normal again. And like I've told you before, I never moved past your and Alex's deaths, but my therapist helped me be able to...to breathe again. She helped me to be able to smile again, to work towards finding peace. Everyone needs help, even people with powers."
He chuckles to himself, looking at me with amusement. "It amazes me how alike you and Khari are. Yesterday was like talking to a male version of you."
I smile, fully taking that as a compliment. "I'm glad you two spent some time together. I couldn't have gotten through the past few years without him. He was my rock when everything happened."
"He feels the same way about you. I can tell how much he loves you."
"And I him. I couldn't ask for anyone else to be with Alex. He opened up Alex's heart, and for that alone I feel indebted to him."
Bucky stays silent for a moment. When I look over to him, he looks lost in thought. I wrap my arm around his and tug on him slightly. He glances down at me, and without having to even ask, he tells me what's on his mind.
"I feel indebted to him too. I know how much he helped you these last few years...I just hate that he was here for you and I wasn't. I hate that I missed five years with you. It-it kills me. I almost feel jealous of him. I know how awful that sounds. I am grateful to him, truly. But I hate he was by your side for five years and I wasn't."
I grip his arm tightly. "That doesn't sound awful. You think I don't feel the same way? I would have given anything to have had you with me the past five years. I hate that I was robbed of this time with you. I think that's why my nightmares have felt so much more real, why they have felt more painful than usual. I'm terrified of something happening to you and Alex again. I'm afraid we'll get more time taken away from us."
He brings his hands out of his pockets and locks his fingers with mine. "Me too. I remember when that sorcerous told us that the Avengers had brought us back. I instantly knew that's where you were. I couldn't stand it; knowing you were in battle with Thanos again and I wasn't there. Then I heard you on the coms saying you had the gauntlet. I remember my heart stopped dead in my chest. Knowing you were in danger, that any moment you could be dead...I had never felt fear like that in my entire life."
I feel my chest tighten, and as I squeeze his hand, I lean my head against his arm. "And we both know how long your life has been. So that's saying something."
He smirks softly, shaking his head. "I thought you were done with teasing me about my age."
"I said I would only do it on special occasions." I say with a smirk, but after hearing a cracking branch, the smirk is wiped from my face.
I feel it again. The other day when we were at the club, yesterday when Alex and I were at the beach, and now in the forest; I feel like someone is watching me. I heard a branch snap, and usually I would dismiss this as an animal. I know it isn't however. Now that I am away from other people, I can sense clearly now; there's a human out here. This human is watching me.
I can't see anyone. I let go of Bucky's hand, looking around in circles, but finding no one around. My animal instincts have been going haywire the past few days, and they have never been wrong before. But how can I smell a human and not see a human around? I see a few birds in the trees around us, one bird landing on a low hanging branch right next to us, it's black feathers rustling in the wind. But I see no watching eyes. Was I imagining things? Perhaps I was. After all, a little over a week ago I was fighting Thanos and his creatures. Bucky and Alex have returned, Tony has died, Steve has grown old. It's been a stressful time. Maybe my powers were reacting to all the strain.
"Lena, are you alright?" Bucky asks me, gripping my shoulders tightly.
I turn back to him, absentmindedly nodding my head. I look around another time, straining my ears for any movement, but hearing nothing. I finally look up at him and sigh. "I think my powers are acting up. I keep getting mixed signals...It's odd. My powers are usually reliable."
He rubs my shoulders gently. "It's been a stressful few weeks, it makes sense your powers are acting up. That's what the vacation is for."
I know he's right, so I try to genuinely smile, but it's half hearted. As we continue to walk through the forest, I look up at the bird sitting on the branch. The bird stares down at me for a long moment, before flapping it's little wings and flying back towards the city. My powers quiet down after the bird flies away.