Note: Rated Mature for sexual situations
CHAPTER NINE
The entire morning at work Defne could feel everyone's eyes upon her. At first she assumed it was just paranoia on her part, but more than once she caught the girls in the warehouse huddled together in a group, staring at her. Even though she questioned them about it, they simply apologized and returned to work – only to go back to hushed whispering shortly thereafter.
Later that afternoon Defne was busy making the schedules for the upcoming week when Aytekin rushed into her office.
"I thought we were friends, Defne."
She looked up from the documents on the table to see an angry Aytekin pacing back and forth. "Did I ever say we were friends?" she asked, agitated.
"Well, I thought we were. Obviously that's not true because you didn't bother to tell me something so important."
Sighing, Defne leaned back in her chair. "Okay. What's going on? What top secret did I keep from you?"
He stormed over to her, pushing his cell phone at her face. Instantly, she felt faint. It was a picture from her wedding, probably taken by one of the Passionis staff while she and Omer had gone around to each table to thank them for attending. In the picture Omer looked angry, withdrawn, while she had a fake smile plastered on her face. After she'd confessed the truth, he'd managed to stay until the end of the reception. At that time she had taken that to mean there was still hope and they could work things through. From the furious expression on his face, however, it was obvious he'd already decided it was over between them.
"What's this, huh?" Aytekin asked before swiping right. "And this?"
The second picture was of them from earlier that day, after she'd changed into the second wedding gown but before she'd revealed the truth. Surrounded by family and friends, she and Omer beamed with happiness. Her heart squeezed with pain at the image of them together. Before she could burst into tears, she grabbed the phone from Aytekin's hand and smashed it on the table.
"What the hell?" he asked. "You don't even bother to tell me you were married to Mr. Omer and now you destroy my phone? What's wrong with you, girl?"
"Fuck you, Aytekin! It's none of your goddamn business."
He bristled, not used to hearing her swear. "All I'm saying is you should have told me you guys were once married. It's only fair I know."
It all finally clicked in her head, why all those girls were whispering around her the whole day. Pictures of her wedding were making the rounds, which meant people were also gossiping about why they were no longer together. Defne felt sick to her stomach, she wanted to throw up. "Get out, Aytekin. Get the hell out of here."
"First tell me what happened between you guys. I have a right to know. After all I work with the both of you. If he's going to be hostile towards you and our department because of the divorce, it affects me too!"
She forcefully shoved Aytekin out of her office, locking the glass door behind her. Her cheeks were red, her eyes teary. Everyone at the warehouse was staring at her, and she just wanted to disappear into thin air.
Every time she thought she was over that day it found a way to come back and haunt her. At Stil Vagon she'd finally found a sanctuary, a place where no one knew about her past and she could just work and be herself without people questioning her, but once again, thanks to Omer's return and Passionis employees in the same building, she was back to being gossip fodder. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? Why did she always have to be the butt of their ridicule? And why, after all this time, did those pictures still have the ability to hurt so much? She'd been so happy that day, ecstatic, a woman filled with hope and optimism at the thought of starting a new life with the love of her life only to have it all fall apart within hours. The dream of a wonderful future shattered into a million jagged pieces, permanently embedding into her soul, a constant reminder of what could have been.
Desperate to put some distance between her and the rest of the staff , she rushed out of the office.
*****
Omer should have been revising the designs he drew last night. Instead, his mind was preoccupied with Defne. It had been a few days since she stormed out of his car, and since then there have been no contact between them. There used to be a time when he couldn't go a few hours without seeing her. His chest would feel constricted, his mind depressed if he didn't hold her in her arms, breathe in her scent. In Rome, he turned to alcohol and women to dull his senses so as not to feel her absence so keenly, but even then it was a temporary cure; Defne's laugh, her smile, echoed in his mind throughout the entire time. These days, knowing she was only a few levels below, it took every ounce of strength he had to keep away from her. In the past they'd always found a way to connect but the more he crowded her now, the more distant and aloof she became. He had no idea how to cope with that, what to do. He felt utterly incapable of fixing things between them, helpless.
"Buddy, how's it going?"
Hearing Sinan's voice from the doorway, Omer looked up. "Fine. Don't worry, designs are coming along."
"Good, good." Sinan entered the room and took a seat on the couch.
Immediately Omer sensed his best friend was troubled. "What's wrong?"
"I have to tell you something but I don't want you to bite my head off. Or anyone else's."
"Just say it."
"Word's gotten out about you and Defne being married. I was downstairs at StilVagon and I heard people talking about it."
Omer slammed his fist into the table. "Fuck!"
"Okay, calm down. You knew this had to happen eventually. Stuff like that can't be kept secret forever."
His thoughts ran instantly to Defne. She'd always been concerned about being the subject of office gossip, so much so she even wanted to keep their engagement a secret. He still remembered how devastated she'd been when people had found out about him buying her house. And this being about their wedding, he knew it would crush her completely. "How the hell did this get around?"
"Someone here texted pictures of you guys from the wedding to the StilVagon staff. You know how these things go."
Omer stood up. "Find out who did it. Talk to Derya. I want to know exactly who has this much time on their hands so I can fire them."
"Okay, okay. Just calm down. I don't want you to make any rash decisions when you're angry."
"I have to go check on Defne. Make sure she's alright."
Sinan nodded. "Yeah. She must have heard it by now too. This can't be easy for her."
Omer stormed towards the door, looking over his shoulder at Sinan. "Find out who's responsible." He marched towards the staircase, too furious to wait for the elevator. This was going to hurt Defne, no doubt about it. When he reached the warehouse, there were groups of people mingling together in separate corners. Some were working, but there were others gathered around laughing, chatting it up. "What? You guys have nothing better to do with your time?" Omer barked. "Or do I need to find some actual work for you guys to do?" Instantly the crowd dispersed. He quickly strode to Defne's office, but it was empty. A quick glance revealed her bag was still there which meant she hadn't left the premises. Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed her number. Music played in the room; she'd left her cell phone on the table.
"Are you looking for Defne?"
Omer turned around to find the perpetually nervous Aytekin standing a few feet away. "Where is she?"
"If this is work related, I can help you."
"Where the hell is she?"
"She took off. She was really upset."
Omer ran his fingers through his hair, wracking his brain to figure out where she could be.
"Sometimes she goes to the roof to be alone. She doesn't know that I know but I know."
Aytekin was still rambling about all the things he knew as Omer walked past him and headed for the stairs.
*****
"Tears again, Albertine? Now this is becoming a bad habit."
Defne turned around to find Pamir behind her. Embarrassed, she swiped the tears from her face. "Sorry. You probably think I spend all my time crying instead of working."
"Well, I think we can make an exception for today. Can't be easy knowing everyone's texting those pictures."
She swallowed the lump in her throat, refusing to fall apart in front of her boss. "So you saw them?"
"I did."
Those pictures flashed through her mind again and again, taunting her. Today was the first time she'd seen the photos, thanks to her family who had gone out of their way to protect her. From the day she'd signed the annulment papers, Defne had taken refuge in her room, hiding from the world, and it had been her family who had dealt with the aftermath of the wedding. From returning the wedding presents to appeasing the photographer who kept asking who to send the wedding album to, Nihan, Serdar and her grandma had looked after it all so she wouldn't have to face any of it. Iso and Esra kept watch over her for months, sacrificing their own time to make sure she'd be alright. Although they had never once complained, she knew it hadn't been easy for any of them. Her grandmother had boasted to everyone about Defne getting married so when she returned home alone the next day, all of their extended family and friends from Manisa demanded to know why. Iso, Serder and Nihan had gotten into numerous fights with nosy neighbours who constantly asked intrusive questions about why Omer left. Rumors circulated throughout the neighbourhood about their family, and their lives became a living hell. All thanks to her.
"You alright?" Pamir asked.
She shook her head 'no'. "I was so happy to find this job. No one knew me, no one knew anything about my past. I could leave behind prying eyes and just focus on work."
"Except now everyone knows about you and Omer."
She bit her lips, trying desperately not to unleash new round of tears. "They know, and they're asking themselves why it ended. Or they're wondering why he married me in the first place."
"Oh, come on. You can't be serious."
She turned to look at Pamir. "What?"
"Why would anyone wonder why he married you? What kind of stupidity is that?"
"Because he's the great Omer Iplikci. He can have anyone he wants. Why would he settle for someone like me? I'm... nothing compared to him."
"Now you're just fishing for compliments."
"No, I'm not. Do you know how many people have asked me that? When I used to work for Passionis, I had so many people look down at me because I didn't belong in Omer's world. They accused me of being overly ambitious, of not knowing my place. Your aunt loved to remind me of that time and time again. Like that wasn't bad enough, there were the newspapers and magazines who were all over Omer and Fikret, coupling them up. Everyone knew how wrong I was for him and deep down I always knew that too but I still let myself buy into that fantasy. Then it all came crashing down at the wedding." The wound was fresh, still festering inside her. She didn't think it would ever heal.
"Omer let his pride dictate his actions. He's an idiot."
"No, he's not."
Pamir gave her a wry smile. "Even now you defend him. And you wonder why he married you." He regarded her with a solemn stare, watching in silence for several seconds. "This isn't an act, is it? You honestly have no clue how unique you are, do you?"
"Stop, Pamir. You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"I'm not saying this to flatter you, I'm being honest. You're beautiful, and you're smart, but there are a thousand women out there like that. That's not what makes you stand out."
Feeling uncomfortable, she crossed her arms. "Can we talk about something else?"
"What makes you special is your heart. You care about people like no one else. Aytekin annoys the crap out of you but every week you bring him a hamburger from the street vendor because it's his favourite. And your staff, you're always fighting for them because you know they can't speak up for themselves."
"They deserved that raise. They're hard workers," Defne mumbled, staring straight ahead.
"You have a goodness in you, Defne, and it shines through you like a bright, warm light. I wish you could see that."
"Pamir, please stop. You're embarrassing me."
"Omer was the lucky one, Defne, and he let you slip through his fingers because of his stupid pride. You know, I've never felt sorry for him before but now I do. I pity him."
"Sometimes I wish I'd never told him the truth."
"Why did you? I mean, you could have hid it from him forever but you didn't. Why?"
Her heart trembled with pain. "Because I honestly thought he loved me enough to forgive me. We'd just made a lifelong commitment, we'd promised to spend the rest of our lives together. I knew he'd be devastated, but he didn't deserve to be lied to and I thought he would at least give me a chance to explain. That he would hear me out. After everything he and I went through to be together, I'd convinced myself he wouldn't walk away again. But there was nothing, not even an iota of compassion from him. He kicked me out of his life without a second glance." A harsh sob ripped from her lungs. "One night I was married to the man I loved, the next morning he wanted nothing to do with me."
Pamir reached out to wrap his arm around her shoulder, comforting her. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. "This isn't your problem. I just need to stop being weak and move on."
"Yeah, but you can't. You've never had closure. When people break up, at least they talk or have a fight or some kind of blow-up to get all their emotions out. With you guys, it just ended." He snapped his fingers. "Like that. No wonder you're still messed up about this."
"Well, it's too late now."
"Why? He's downstairs. Go talk to him. Tell him how he made you feel, how angry you're at him. Yell at him to get it out of your system."
She shook her head 'no'. "Omer would never accept that. In his mind he's always right. Besides, I lied to him so it doesn't matter how I feel. It's inconsequential."
"Yeah, you lied. But he made it impossible for you to tell him the truth. And then he took off as soon as you did. He's just as much at fault as you were."
Defne stared out at the view in front of her. There were millions of people going about their daily lives, lost in a maze, and that was all she wanted for herself. "I just want to move on."
"How are you going to start a new relationship when this one still haunts you?"
She exhaled a bitter laugh. "There will be no new relationships for me. I'm done."
"Come on. You're young, you're gorgeous. I'm sure you'll meet someone new and get married again."
She shook her head 'no'. "I already married the person I fell in love with, and it ended horribly. I will never put myself through that again."
"You know what the real problem is, don't you?"
Her eyes focused on Pamir. "What?"
"You married for love. That can only end in pain."
"Meaning?"
"Marriage shouldn't be about romantic love."
Pamir leaned forward on the terrace railing, like he couldn't speak without taking a breath, and Defne realised this was a difficult topic for him. As much as he acted like a casual player, she sensed there was something more to him deep down.
"My mom was madly in love with my dad. He was her whole life. And then he passed away and I found out he had a mistress for years, one he was deeply in love with. Mom still doesn't know; I don't have the heart to tell her."
"Shit. That's horrible."
Pamir turned back to look at her. "Isn't it? Made me realise you should never be in love, let alone with the person you marry. I mean, think about it. If you were to marry me and I cheated on you, would you be hurt?"
"I don't understand."
"If you and I were married right now, and you found out I had a mistress, how would you react?"
"If I loved you, I'd feel betrayed. Angry."
"Exactly. If you loved me. But if we were just friends who married for companionship, it wouldn't bother you as much. Maybe you wouldn't even care."
She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess."
"Next time, Defne, marry someone you care about as a friend, not someone you love. That way if something goes wrong, you won't be left heartbroken."
She'd experienced that devastation firsthand, how it grew like a cancer that permeated her whole life including her sanity. After the annulment all she wanted was for the hurt to end, and she'd done a horrible thing to achieve it. It had been a selfish choice, and it had wrecked her family. But never again. Never was she going to put her family through that again, or herself. "There won't be a next time for me, Pamir. I'm never going to love anyone else, and I'm definitely never getting married again."
"Been there, done that, have the annulment papers to prove it?" he teased.
"That's not funny."
He gave her a charming smile. "Come on, it's a little funny. Admit it."
"Fine." A reluctant smile formed across her lips. "A little. Not a lot. Just a little."
"Got it." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, removing one before returning the case. Lighting the cigarette, he inhaled. "I think you should go back downstairs, hold your head high and yell out a few orders. You're their director, after all. Don't let them forget it. Keep them busy so they don't have time to gossip about you."
"I didn't know you smoked."
"Helps me keep my bad boy image."
"You're not as bad as you like to think you are."
"Oh, really?" he prodded, blowing smoke in her face.
She fanned the air way with her hand. "There's no reason for you to comfort me but here you are. And I really want to thank you for that. I have no one else to talk to about this stuff."
"What about Iso?"
"He's already upset with me for speaking to Omer. If he found out-"
"-that you still loved Omer, he would lose it?" Pamir interjected.
Defne paused. "No, he accepts that I'll always love Omer. But he also knows it's not good for me. Iso wants me to keep my distance and quit Stilvagon. He has this crazy idea that I should open my own logistics business."
"It's not crazy. I think it's a great idea. Of course I'd hate to lose your brilliant mind if that were to happen."
"Don't worry. I can't afford to quit anyway."
"Good." Pamir smirked.
"Anyway, I was saying thank you for listening. I appreciate it."
"You can thank me by bringing in some more dolmas."
"Okay."
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Look, you're smart and you're strong. You'll get through this. I promise."
"Really?"
"Definitely."
Feeling grateful for his support, she embraced him and gave him a tight hug. No matter how much Pamir liked to pretend not to care, he had a heart and he was a good friend who didn't judge her. These days, she needed that.
*****
Omer watched his worst nightmare unfold in front of him, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it. Defne was clinging to Pamir, holding on to him, but what wrecked him wasn't the physical contact, it was the fact that she had turned to his cousin for consolation. Somehow Pamir had managed to slip past her defences and carve out a friendship whereas Omer couldn't even get her to look at him these days. It was the easy intimacy between Pamir and her that he envied yet he only had himself to blame.
Even though every fibre in his body was screaming at him to pummel Pamir's face, he knew doing so would only create more problems. After all, it was his anger that had led them to their current situation. If only he'd fought his instincts and found a way to look past the rage at the wedding, maybe he and Defne would still be married now.
Unable to look at the laughing couple in front of him, Omer closed the terrace door and headed back down the stairs. Defne was his. She belonged with him, she loved him and she'd even admitted that without hesitation. He wasn't going to lose her, no matter what, but nothing he was doing was working. His past actions were creating a greater divide between them which meant he had to change tactics. He wasn't one to play games, it wasn't in his nature, but he was willing to do whatever it took to regain Defne's trust.
In love, there were no rules, no principles. None of that mattered. The only thing he cared about was Defne. He loved her, even more now than before, and he was going to prove to her they deserved to be together.
CHAPTER TEN
The next morning Defne was updating the calendar on the office wall when she heard a knock on the door. Turning around, she found herself facing Derya and Omer. Omer's eyes pierced right through her and Defne quickly shifted her attention to his personal assistant who appeared to be in full-fledged panic mode. "What's wrong?"
"Derya?" Omer prodded in a curt tone.
"It was me. I was the one who texted the picture. But I swear I wasn't doing it to be mean or make trouble," Derya babbled. "The girls and I were talking about weddings and one of them asked me what was the best wedding I went to and I mentioned yours and Mr. Omer's. Zeynep was shocked! She didn't know you guys were married before, she thought I was lying, so I sent her a pic from my phone and then she forwarded it to the StilVagon crew. I swear I wasn't doing it to cause problems. It was an honest mistake!"
Defne deliberately kept her voice steady, refusing to reveal the pain she still felt at the thought of her doomed wedding. "Okay."
"I'm really sorry, Mr. Omer," Derya added.
"You should be apologizing to Defne," Omer replied.
Derya sent her a pleading look. "I'm sorry, Defne."
"Don't worry about it. It's in the past anyway."
"Alright, you can get back to work," Omer ordered.
Defne hoped they would both leave but only Derya exited the office, leaving her alone with Omer. She worried he would close the distance between them but he remained by the door, studying her intently.
"I'm sorry, Defne."
"It's fine." Needing something to distract from his steely gaze, she started watering the plant on her desk. "It was bound to come out eventually."
"No, I mean I'm sorry for leaving you to deal with all of it. I was so angry after you told me the truth I didn't think about what the annulment would mean for you. How hard it would be for you and your family to deal with the aftermath. I was selfish, I know. I wish there was some way I could take it all back."
Her heart lurched. Those words were rare from Omer, but she reminded herself not to be swayed by them. How many times had he urged her to confess her secret, promising to stick by her only to abandon her when she finally told him the truth? No matter how sincere he sounded, when he was furious all bets were off. His pride was the most important thing to him, and he had used his righteousness as a weapon against her more than once. Frankly, she no longer had the strength to cope with someone who demanded such perfection. "Omer, please. Let's not do this."
"That night my entire world came crashing down, but what I did to you, how I acted... nothing justifies that. I promised to be by your side and then I took off without even giving you a chance to explain."
It was like he was reading her mind, and she didn't know how to react.
"You don't trust me anymore, I get that, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to gain it back, Defne."
Her eyes blurred with tears, her hands trembling so bad she was forced to put down the water bottle. "Some things are better left in the past."
"I know it's hard for you to believe me, but I will prove myself to you."
She finally met his stare. "There's no point, don't you get that? We come from two different worlds. I can't give you what you want, and you can't love me the way I need, so why put ourselves through this again? Let's just move on."
"If we weren't able to do that when we were apart, what makes you think we can do that now?" Hands tucked into his pocket, he approached her slowly. "You think I'm going to leave you again, the way I did before, the way your parents did, but I'm not going anywhere. I made a mistake, I messed up big, and I'm going to do everything within my power to earn your forgiveness."
Her heart skipped in her chest, beating thunderously as he moved closer. No matter how much she wanted to break the connection between them, it proved to be impossible – like she was caught in his spell. He came to a stop in front of her, leaning in and reaching out to hold her face. With a tentative touch his thumb swiped the tears down her right cheek, and her breath faltered. If he tried to kiss her right now, she wouldn't be able to handle it – even if a part of her trembled at the thought. "Omer, please don't."
"I'm not going to push you for more, Defne. I'll try my best to give you space. I'll be patient, because I know that's what you need from me right now."
"I don't want you to cling to false hope. We're over. There's no going back."
He caressed her cheek ever so slightly. "I'm not giving up on us."
"You're making a mistake then."
"Maybe, maybe not. You once told me to believe in miracles and that's what you are for me. You're my miracle, Defne. And I'm choosing to believe in us even if you can't right now."
His lips grazed her forehead, his touch achingly gentle before he pulled back. Bewildered, she stared after him. Her fears were always there, constantly reminding her of all the reasons to stay away from him yet her heart, her heart yearned for him over and over again, and it refused to be ignored.
*****
The following week was a busy one for Defne with the inventory needing to be done and multiple shipments to be processed for Passionis. With the success of Omer's new designs, orders were coming in by the hour which kept her and her staff very busy. He'd always been an amazing designer but there was something more complex about Omer's work now, his shoes revealing a hidden depth of beauty that was missing before. Unfortunately all of his hard work was brushed off with the plagiarism accusations that surfaced that morning.
Defne heard the rumours as soon as she came into work. There was no doubt in her mind they were untrue, no way would Omer ever steal anyone else's work, but it seemed like the Passionis staff wasn't entirely convinced as they were already talking about the brand crashing. It infuriated her that they seemed to have no faith in Omer. Didn't they know him at all? Didn't they realise he wasn't capable of doing something so dishonest? After Aytekin had grudgingly informed her Omer had been looking or her, she'd marched up to his office but he hadn't been there. She'd tried several more times after that but he had yet to return.
Over the next few hours her mind was preoccupied with Omer's troubles. She spent an hour on the internet researching how to disprove plagiarism but it seemed to be a complicated issue, one filled with legal jargon she didn't understand. There was nothing she could do to ease Omer's worries, unlike Feryal. Stupid, stupid Feryal! Immediately guilt surged through Defne for her petty thoughts. She should have been grateful that the magazine editor was helping Omer and Sinan out of this jam, but a small part of her couldn't help but feel resentful and jealous. Why did Derya even mention it? Defne wished she didn't know Omer and Sinan were at Feryal's office right now so she could stop obsessing over what they were doing. Ugh! Frustrated, Defne forced herself to concentrate on the inventory logs in front of her.
It was almost seven at night when she heard a knock on the door. Glancing up, she found Omer staring at her. Her body reacted to him like it always did, heart racing, nerves on edge at the sight of him. "Omer." She stood up, feeling simultaneously concerned and awkward around him. "Are you okay?"
Running his fingers through his hair, he released a long, drawn out breath. "No, not really." Right now it looks like I stole Vanni's work."
"That's bullshit." She circled around the desk to approach Omer. "There has to be some kind of explanation for this."
"The lawyers are combing through everything to find out who came up with the designs first."
Her heart ached at his troubled demeanor, the sense of resignation that emanated from him. "It's you. I know it's you," she said with fierce determination, reaching for his hand to comfort him. "If they didn't copy your work, then it's just a coincidence. Apparently it happens all the time, people come up with similar inventions at the same time, same book ideas, music even though they're worlds apart. I've been reading up on this stuff the entire afternoon, you won't believe how many times stuff like that has happened."
"But our designs aren't just similar, they're exactly the same."
"Then they must have copied you."
He remained silent, simply watching her, and it suddenly dawned on Defne that they were standing inches apart from each other, their hands intertwined. The realisation immediately made her tense, her stomach coiling into tight knots at the way his gaze darkened over her.
"You really believe in me, don't you?" he asked.
There was a sense of wonderment in his voice which took her by surprise. "Of course I do. You're the most talented person I know, and the most honest. There's no way you would ever do this."
"Defne..." Desperation laced his voice as his arms wrapped around her, embracing her tightly.
Immediately her brain started protesting but she couldn't bring herself to break the physical contact, not when her body came alive against his. Aware of every inch of him pressed against her, she breathed in his scent, heady at his close proximity. God, she missed him. Missed this. Missed the way he held her, and touched her, and kissed her.
"Defne," he murmured again.
Pulling away slightly, she looked up at him. His eyes locked with hers. The emotion in his eyes made her head spin and left her breathless. Her heart pounded so erratically she wondered if it would jump out of her chest. Yet she couldn't break free from his stare. She didn't even want to. "Omer," she whispered, cradling his face. Standing on her toes, she closed her lips over his.
Madness swept over her, a frenzied, dark passion that had gone unfulfilled for far too long. Tongue and teeth clashed against each other as Defne kissed him possessively, clinging to him tightly, her nails digging into his neck. His mouth consumed her with equal fervor as he picked her up in his arms, carrying her to her desk.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Defne looked up at him; Omer's gaze locked with hers. The emotion in his eyes made her head spin and left her breathless. Her heart pounded so erratically she wondered if it would jump out of her chest. Yet she couldn't break free from his stare. She didn't even want to. "Omer," she whispered, cradling his face. Standing on her toes, she closed her lips over his.
Madness swept over her, a frenzied, dark passion that had gone unfulfilled for far too long. Tongue and teeth clashed against each other as she kissed him possessively, clinging to him, her nails digging into his neck. His mouth consumed her with equal fervor as he picked her up in his arms, carrying her to her desk.
"Defne!" he growled.
It was a deep, throaty sound that unleashed the passion only he could evoke. Wrapping her legs around his thighs, she pulled him closer, kissing him over and over again until her brain started screaming from oxygen and they were both out of breath.
His beard scraped along her jaw-line as his teeth nipped her skin, suckling that incredibly sensitive spot just below her ear that only seemed to exist when his mouth was on her. Electricity shot through her in waves, pleasure flowing in her blood as he pressed her down on the table.
"Defne..." he panted, perched above her. His heated gaze made her insides quiver, trapping her with their intensity so she couldn't break eye contact even if she wanted to. "I love you."
The spell was broken. His words brought her crashing back to their unfortunate reality where it was impossible to ignore everything that separated them. Her heart rebelled while she pushed him away, and she avoided his gaze as she sat up on. "I shouldn't have done this. This was a mistake."
The tension was palpable. Despite not looking at him, she could sense the angry current running throughout his body. Rage vibrated off of him and she mentally prepared for the verbal onslaught that was sure to follow, one she couldn't even blame him for. Why had she kissed him? What the hell was she thinking? They were supposed to move on from each other and instead of sticking to her resolve, she'd just made the situation worse. Why was she so weak? Still unable to look at him, she focused her attention on the floor. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry."
He started pacing in front of her, a tell-tale sign he was about to go off on her.
After a short bout of silence, he finally spoke. "Don't be sorry. It was bound to happen eventually. You've never been good with controlling yourself around me."
Stunned by the mischief in his tone, she met his stare.
There was wicked glint twinkling in his eyes, a flirtatious smile playing along his lips. He leaned forward, twirling her hair around his fingers. "We're both human, and it's been so long. I'm actually surprised it didn't happen sooner."
Speechless by the shift in his mood, she gawked at him.
*****
When she'd pushed him away Omer had been frustrated, disappointed and furious all at once. It wasn't so much that she'd wanted to stop, but the fact she did it because he'd confessed to loving her. Time and time again she insisted on widening the emotional distance between them and the more he tried to connect with her, the harder she fought against him. He still remembered the pain of seeing Defne with his goddamn cousin, realising that their relationship had progressed to the point where she felt comfortable opening up to Pamir. But that hurt paled in comparison to hearing firsthand how much his own actions had devastated Defne. In his anger he'd destroyed the very person who meant the most to him, the most important part of his life. She didn't trust him anymore. He'd given her every reason to feel that way so now he had to find another route to regain her trust. And yelling at her for pulling away wasn't going to help accomplish that, no matter how agitated he was. After a few minutes of pacing back and forth, he'd finally calmed down.
She was sitting on the desk, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from their kiss, her skin bruised red from where his beard had rubbed against her. Red curls haloed her face, making her strikingly beautiful, and it took an immense amount of will power to not pull her against him and kiss her again. As a compromise – one way or another he had to touch her – he reached out to play with her curls.
"We're both human, and it's been so long. I'm actually surprised it didn't happen sooner."
She finally looked up at him, confusion flashing across her face. Amused, he smiled back. Obviously his Defne was expecting an argument. Instead, he'd managed to surprise her. Good.
"You never could control yourself around me," he teased, encircling her waist with his arm.
Her lips parted open, and she swallowed audibly. He felt her body tense, the way it always did when she was around him and turned on.
"I want this too, Defne, but I don't think we should rush into anything. Not when you still can't trust me fully. I think that's best, don't you?" He dropped a tender kiss on the tip of her nose, his fingers tracing the curve of her right ear, and he smiled to himself at the quickening of her breath. "It's not going to be easy, I know, but I have to insist. For my own sanity." Moving his hand, he caressed the side of her thigh over the jeans she was wearing, sensing as she grew flustered, trying to stay in control under his machinations. "Earlier today I felt so hopeless, but now I'm here with you, and I know how much you still believe in me, and nothing, not these accusations, not anyone else, can take that away from me. I can't believe how lucky I am, Defne, to have you in my corner."
As his hand moved to the inside of her thighs, he kissed along her jaw-line. Her eyes grew hazy with pleasure, her head lolled back. He may have started the seduction but he, too, was feeling the effects. He grew hard, getting more and more excited with her body pressed up against his. "I miss touching you, Defne. Kissing you, smelling you, being inside you." Her sweet, subtle scent was starting to drive him crazy. "I miss the way your eyes glaze over when you come, and how shy you get afterwards. I want to hold you every night, wake up next to you every morning." His hand cupped her between her legs, fingers rubbing her pussy over her jeans. She was wet, and ready for him; he struggled not to take her right then and there. Suddenly she curved her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly, and as he continued to pleasure her with his hand, her body moved and grinded against his in response.
Her soft, throaty moans filled his ears, growing more passionate as she reached near climax. "Omer..."
"I know, love," he murmured. "Let go. Enjoy it." There was so much he wanted to do right now. Rip her clothes off, kiss and taste every inch of her, make love to her in ways she couldn't even imagine. More than anything though, he just wanted to see her naked – but he forced himself to hold back. They weren't ready for that yet.
The moment she reached her peak, her body went lax in his arms . He clung to her, playing with her hair, stroking her back. After a while, he cradled her face and pulled back to peer at her. Her face was flushed, eyes closed. "My sweet Defne," he whispered, kissing her left cheek, then her right, dropping tender kisses on her closed eyelids. "Sweet, sweet Defne."
She finally looked up at him, a range of emotions fleeting across her face. He expected shyness, but she surprised him when that look dissolved rather quickly. Instead, he was greeted with a decisive expression from her.
"Omer, I know you're worried about the plagiarism accusations but it'll be fine. It has to be."
He smirked. "I wasn't really thinking about that right now."
"I..." Hesitation marked her face once again. "This doesn't change anything between us."
He nodded in agreement, mocking her. "Okay."
"I'm serious, Omer!"
"I know. I believe you."
"Then why are you smiling?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Can't I smile?"
"You were accused of plagiarism this morning. This should be one of the worst days of your life!"
"Today doesn't even come close to that." Tipping his head to the side, he gave her a lopsided smile. "I have you on my side. I can handle whatever comes my way." His fingers reached out to smooth over the red marks on her neck. "I'll trim the beard. I don't want to scratch you again."
"No, don't. I like it!" she protested.
Immediately her face turned a bright pink, and he grinned. She may have been angry at him, and not trusted him, but that attraction between them was still potent, and it ran deep. Nothing was going to change that.
"I mean, don't change anything because of me. This isn't going to happen again," she babbled nervously.
He watched as she rushed over to the opposite corner of the desk, trying to look busy. "Come on. It's late. Let me give you a ride home."
"No, Iso is coming for me in half an hour."
"Okay." He contemplated giving her a goodbye kiss but decided against it. If their last few interactions had shown him anything it was that forcing her to engage when she was determined to pull away was only going to lead to another argument, and he definitely didn't want that. "Goodnight, my sweet Defne."
"Don't call me that."
"Okay, sweetheart." He turned around to walk away.
"Omer!"
He found her watching him anxiously.
"You're acting like these accusations don't bother you but I know you, Omer. You're hurt and you're worried. Just please try to get some sleep tonight. You need all your energy to fight this thing tomorrow."
For so long he'd buried himself deep down, hidden behind walls so he wouldn't have to open up, but she'd torn down every one of those barriers and shown him how amazing this world could be, why hiding from it was a tragedy. She knew him inside and out in a way that no one else ever would. And he knew how lucky he was to have her. "With you, I can handle anything." Sending her a grateful smile, he walked away.
CHAPTER 12
There was a time when keeping busy had been a blessing in disguise. After her stay in the hospital, Defne knew she could no longer lock herself in a room and drown in pain. There were too many bills to pay including the mortgage for the house and she needed to start working again to help out. Although the family worried about her health, their concerns – for the most part – were alleviated once Defne started the job at Stil Vagon. In fact, starting a new career had actually helped with the recovery because it gave her something else to focus on. And on the weekends, she helped out at the restaurant which left her too exhausted to dwell on Omer and their doomed relationship. Unfortunately, that tactic no longer seemed to work now that he was back and in her life again.
After their tryst on Friday night, Defne tried not to think about Omer over the weekend – but every time she closed her eyes his face flashed across her mind. His sexy smile, his beautiful hands touching her in erotic ways, his velvety voice as he whispered the most incredible things in her ear – it was all ingrained into her brain, torturing her. She lay awake pondering him at night, daydreaming about him during the morning, and was so distracted all of Sunday that Serder just sent her home for being too disruptive. It was all too much. Too, too much. Why couldn't she stop fantasizing about him? The light in her soul had gone out completely after Omer abandoned her but now, with his return, the flame had surged back to life, fighting to awaken all the parts of her that had shut down. And it wasn't like Omer was making things any easier either. On Saturday he had texted her passages from his favourite poems and stories, words that were beautifully touching and made her insides melt.
After everything they went through, even thinking about him was dangerous yet somehow they had already crossed over that line and into something physical. With every passing moment her mind seemed to flow more and more towards him and she didn't know how long her resolve to stay strong would hold up.
On Monday morning she came into work determined not to spend a single moment thinking about Omer. There were tons of things to do, and custom documents to complete, and she wasn't going to waste any – any – moment on romantic fantasies.
Her determination disappeared as soon as she entered her office and spotted the desk. The desk where Omer had touched, and caressed, and brought her to ecstasy. Shit. This was going to be more difficult than she'd anticipated. Taking some of the papers from the desk, she headed to the couch on the other side of the room to work.
An hour later she was still trying to concentrate when Pamir sauntered in, holding a cup of tea. "Why the couch?" he asked, coming over to where she was sitting.
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Just wanted a change in scenery."
"How was your weekend?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Alright. Nothing great. Worked at the restaurant as usual."
"You work too much."
"I like to keep busy."
"So you don't have to spend time thinking about a certain cousin of mine."
Defne shot him an irritated look. "Do you need something, Pamir?"
He smiled. "You and I have a business meeting tomorrow night."
"With who? I don't remember you mentioning it before."
"Let's say I managed to score the meeting through an unusual contact."
"Meaning?"
His eyes twinkled. "I hooked up with someone this weekend who's a personal assistant to one of the top designers of Dolce & Gabbana. They're here in Istanbul to scout locations." He stood up and walked over to the nearby display, sifting through some of the designer dresses that hung there. "If we can get D&G merchandise, it would be a huge coup for StilVagon."
"They're one of the top requested brands."
"Exactly. Be ready to schmooze tomorrow night." He finished the rest of his tea and placed the empty cup on the showcase table. Already she knew he wasn't going to be taking it with him. "Oh, and make sure you're wearing a D&G dress."
"I don't have one."
"Then we'll have to go shopping for one later today."
"I can't afford that."
"Don't worry about the cost. We'll expense it."
"That doesn't seem right-" The rest of the words got stuck in her throat because Omer walked into her office, dressed in a grey suit that emphasized his muscular frame even more than usual. Her heart started racing, until Pamir suddenly came to take a seat beside her and then she just felt sick. Omer's eyes flashed with anger, she braced herself for what was to come.
"Hello cousin," Pamir greeted, smirking. "Defne and I are talking about our dinner plans tomorrow night."
Defne almost started to explain it was a work dinner but then stopped herself. Really, why did she have to justify herself to Omer anyway? It wasn't his business. Of course her mind started to waiver as soon as she spotted Omer clenching his jaw, a tell-tale sign he was going to lose it any second.
"Would you like to join us?" Pamir offered, surprising her.
"I have plans myself, cousin," Omer finally responded, making 'cousin' sound more like an insult than anything else. A cold smile covered his face as his angry gaze shifted between her and Pamir.
"With whom?" Pamir inquired. "Anyone I know?"
"A magazine editor friend of mine."
Defne saw red right away. How dare he? How dare he? He was having dinner with stupid Feryal and now he was coming to her office to gloat over it? She stood up and started gathering her papers together. "I'm extremely busy at the moment, gentlemen," she declared through gritted teeth.
"Is that so?" Omer countered. "It looked like you and Pamir were just lounging on the sofa, making dinner plans."
She gave him a haughty glance. "Actually we were discussing business strategies. Our dinner tomorrow night is with potential clients, not a romantic date like the one you have planned with Feryal."
"Ah, Feryal. Is that who you're dating these days, brother? She's quite beautiful," Pamir piped in, amused.
Defne cast a quick glance at Pamir before returning her attention back to Omer. "It's good to see that you're not letting something like plagiarism accusations get in the way of your social life. Feryal must be a very special woman."
Omer smiled. "I'll be sure to let her know that."
"Please do. I hope you have a wonderful dinner with your sweetheart. And I certainly hope neither of you choke on anything."
"Your concern is truly touching," Omer played along, nodding his head.
"Defne, I think you should wear a strapless dress tomorrow night," Pamir said, checking her out from head to toe. "You have beautiful shoulders, a gorgeous neckline. We should really show you off."
"Thank you, Pamir," she said in a flirtatious tone. "No one has ever complimented my neckline before. That's so very thoughtful of you."
"I'm a thoughtful guy." Pamir dipped his head to the side, giving her a pensive look. "Do you have a strapless bra? If you don't, we can go shopping for that too. I have quite a lot of experience with choosing the right kind of lingerie for beautiful women."
"That's. Enough. Pamir." Omer's voice was filled with violence. "In fact, why don't you get the fuck out of here right now?"
The tension in the room had suddenly escalated. Any second now, Omer was going to implode except Pamir didn't seem the least bit perturbed, instead standing up and granting Omer a smile.
"Now, now. Is that any way to talk to your favourite cousin?"
"Leave. Or I will put my fist through your face. Right now."
Pamir moved towards Omer, still sneering. "You can dish it out but you can't take it?"
Defne didn't know what kind of game Pamir was playing but she had no doubt in her mind he would end up with broken bones if he continued to torment Omer. And she knew she was partially to blame for the inevitable fight. She quickly rushed over to them, grabbing Pamir's elbow. "Pamir, don't forget you have a meeting in five minutes. An important one. You can't miss it." She pulled on his elbow, gently nudging him towards the door.
"Get your hands off of him, Defne."
Omer's voice was quiet, still. The calm before the storm.
"Unfortunately I do have a meeting I need to attend, and just when things were getting interesting," Pamir declared with a sigh, pulling apart her fingers from his arm. He looked over at Omer, giving him a sly wink. "Cousin. Have a wonderful day. And Defne? We'll go shopping for that dress after work today." He leaned over to give her a tender peck on the cheek.
The gesture took her completely by surprise, but the shock wore off the instant Omer charged from behind, ready to pounce as Pamir casually exited the room. Using every ounce of strength, she blocked Omer from going after his cousin. Omer was strong and fiercely angry, and she was no match for him – except he would never hurt her physically and so she threw herself at him to stop him from committing violence. "Stop, Omer!" she yelled. "Be reasonable!"
He picked her up in one swift gesture, pressing her against the wall, trapping her firmly in between his body and the surface behind. Rage danced in his eyes, his lips pursed tightly into a thin line. "If he ever touches you again, I will kill him."
She swallowed an audible breath. "You have no right to do that."
"I don't give a fuck."
"You're being ridiculous," she said, wishing her voice didn't sound so meek. "I have a right to be with anyone I want."
His hands tightly wrapped around her wrists, hips grinding against her as if to punish her. "Is that what you think?"
"It's what I know," she said defiantly. "You get to traipse around with Feryal and expect me to stay at home and pine for you? I don't think so."
"I own you, Defne." His voice was a soft whisper, no longer filled with rage. "And you own me. Heart, body and soul. No one gets to come between us and ruin that. Not Feryal, and definitely not Pamir."
"Yet you're having dinner with Feryal tomorrow," she bit out.
"I lied. I said that to make you jealous."
Her eyebrow quirked up. "I thought the great Omer Iplicki never did that, I thought games were beneath you."
"Maybe I'm not as noble as you like to think I am." He laid a gentle kiss on her left cheek. "Or maybe I've changed." Then the right cheek. "Or maybe I just get hard when you get possessive about me."
She struggled against him but he held firm, clinging to her. "I hate you."
"I know you wish that were true. It would be easier for you to move on if it was, but it isn't."
A wicked smile formed along his lips, and her heart started pounding. All she had to do was push him away, but she couldn't. Not when he leaned in to graze his lips along her collarbone, and especially not as his fingers slowly reached under her skirt to stroke her thighs. With his head resting on her shoulder, he kissed her neck and she trembled against him. Oh god. She wanted him so much, so, so much.
"Defne," he murmured, peering at her. "Your staff is on break and they're coming back in ten minutes. That means we have ten minutes before anyone walks in on us. Are we really going to stand here and argue or would you rather I spend that time going down on you? You choose."
To be continued...
A/N - Hope some people are reading. LOL. If you are, drop me a note. Feedback feeds writers' souls.