It was Friday night, and as usual I was laying on the couch eating snacks. At 24, I acted more like 64. I had developed a liking to sitting around the house and not dealing with people. After being diagnosed with anxiety, I just didn't like to be around anxiety that would trigger me, which was people. I did have my dog Trix though.
On the other hand, it could be because during my four years of college, partying was my thing. For four years that's all I did. Class, drink, and party. Not that I was proud, because the things I did while I was in college tarnished my character for life.
I attended the FIT, but on the weekends I was on every college campus in New York instead of mine. Being wild, hooking up, and doing things that I was proud of. I had regretted most of it, but there wasn't much I could do now, the damage was already done.
I've never really had friends, but I had a roommate, Shelly, who I clinged to at college. She was a blonde headed blue eyed white gurl, but she's one of the coolest people I've ever met. She was also very outgoing. Then there was me, a black girl with natural 4c hair who didn't talk much. We were totally opposite but somehow our friendship was good.
She convinced me to come out my shell some. I ended up gettin a weave, some new clothes, and a voice, and from then I changed. It wasn't her fault tho, she never pressured me to do anything, she just made suggestions and I went along with it.
Not too long after hanging, I started to meet her friends, and that's when things changed. I was introduced to the drug world. Popping pills was my thing. Anything someone put in my hang I would pop in my mouth like a tic tac, and that is what cause my promiscuity.
I wasn't banging everything in sight, and definitely wasn't getting gang banged, but I didn't mind having hookups, which was fun at the time but I realized I was just masking how I felt on the inside.
It made me who I was today tho. My last semester of college I stopped partying, and popping pills and went to see a therapist to treat what was really wrong with me. I knew I needed to change. After graduating and Shelly moving to Idaho for a internship I was back in my hole, just me and my dog.
My life was totally different now but I was thankful to be back in a good headspace. I even started a new relationship with my mom who I hadn't talk to since I graduated high school.
Shaking out of my thoughts, I clicked home on my firestick. I had practically watched everything on Netflix, so I decided to see what was on YouTube. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for, so I just scrolled.
I happened to scroll pass a vlog of the newest singer Queen Naija, and began watching. After seeing her talk to her baby for awhile, I heard a voice that was all too familiar. I shook out my thoughts as I continued watching only to see a face I hadn't seen since my senior year of college, ClarenceNYC.