"Erin!" My mother tries to shake me awake. "Erin this is ridiculous! Get up!"
I groggily push her hand away from my shoulder and get out of bed as I mumble incoherent and grumpy sentences. I almost forgot how much I hate waking up for school. I feel like I can describe my opinions on early rising hours with one quote by the infamous Garfield the cat: "If we were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters."
My eyelids hooded, I pull on a random pair of jeans and somehow manage to struggle into a blue top. I stagger out of my room and into the bathroom, grateful that Katie felt like waking up twenty minutes earlier than usual today. I fill my cupped hands with water and try to imitate the girls in those Neutrogena commercials by splashing it neatly into my face. Instead of that happening, I get water up my nose. Not sure how that worked out but I'm much too tired to investigate further.
I wash my face and put on some light make-up. I happen to like make-up, but only in moderation. I think of it as an accessory, not a mask.
Now slightly refreshed, I head back into my room to grab my school things. I hold the "End" button on my phone as I wait for it to turn on. While doing this, I walk into the kitchen and grab the box of generic oat cereal that sits upon our counter every day. I pour myself a bowl and sit at the table to eat it.
While I'm a-munching, I feel my phone buzz in my hand. I look at it to see a text.
From Niall.
Holy shit. He actually texted me, and so quickly! I open the text and can't resist smiling a bit.
"Morning Erin! Hope you don't get mobbed at school today!" -Niall
After the initial shock of receiving this text message, then the happiness the words bring me, I realize he's right; I still haven't said anything relating to the rumors of me and him to any of my home friends, apart from Rebecca, of course. As far as they know, I'm Niall Horan's fuck-buddy. That is most certainly not something I would like to be known for throughout the school.
Then what should I say if anybody asks? Should I tell an abridged version of the truth and admit I know Niall, probably causing a large group of obsessed teenage girls to gather around me in the hopes of making themselves closer to a superstar? Or should I lie to a large group of teenage girls that probably wouldn't believe me anyway and would then shun me from polite society and make life just a teensy bit harder than it needs to be?
Decisions, decisions.
I send him back a message: "I may have to stretch the truth a tad if someone asks. If a rumor starts about you being creepily close to some obscure cousin of yours then don't look at me. I promise I have nothing to do with it :P" -Erin
I finish up my cereal, wash the bowl and put on the drying rack. I finish all my morning business in about ten minutes and then I head out the door. My high school is only about five blocks away so I normally walk in the morning, stop halfway to meet up with Rebecca, then we walk the rest of the way together.
I smile internally at the fact that I can see my own breath floating in the air. I've been looking forward to snow more this year than any prior. I don't know why; I'm just in a flurry mood.
Two and a half blocks into my walk, I stop in front of a house and ring the doorbell. I've always envied Rebecca for owning a house. Actually, I've envied basically every kid in my town. I'm the only person in my grade that lives in the apartments here. It makes for some cramped holiday dinners, but otherwise it's okay. I mostly wish I had a house so I could get a dog. I can't do that with a landlord who's stricter than Dolores Jane Umbridge.
The door swings open and Rebecca ambles out of her house, waving goodbye to both her parents as she does every morning.
"Erin," Rebecca says seriously after we've walked a bit. "Erin you need to tell me everything that has ever happened with you and Niall right this instant."
"I already did, though," I respond, confused. "Remember? At the concert?"
"Oh, yes I remember that concert," Rebecca narrows her eyes at me. "What you didn't tell me about was the fact that you went to a freaking meet-and-greet yesterday!"
I stop in my tracks. "How did you find that out?"
"Tumblr!" Rebecca shouts. "Freaking Tumblr told me instead of you!"
"I'm on Tumblr? Wait, what is it a picture of?" I stare earnestly at Rebecca in the hopes that she saved the picture onto her phone.
"I don't know," Rebecca sneers. "Why don't you ask your famous pop star boyfriend?"
"Okay, wait just a second." I put my palms together and breathe in. "He is not my boyfriend, nor do I want him to be. And he being famous is exactly why I want to know when I've been seen with him. I don't want to ruin his image by always being there at the most inconvenient times."
"Why don't you tell me these things?" Rebecca starts walking again and I speed up to match her pace. "I mean, I would really like to know what's going on between one of my best friends and a boy I stare at every morning."
She is referring to her One Direction posters. Rebecca does not intend on actually watching Niall Horan sleep.
I hope.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't want to tell anyone about it all, but...it all escalated so quickly!"
Rebecca breaks her stern expression long enough to giggle at my application of memes in the real world. I've realized what a talent I have for doing just that. Sort of useful, but not really.
"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I know I should have said something but I didn't. Luckily for you, though, I probably won't be doing anything with Niall in quite a long time."
"What?" Rebecca asks incredulously. "Why not?"
I sigh dramatically. "He's a busy guy, Rebecca. They're touring all over America and he probably won't come to visit until February."
"Wow." Rebecca looks away and we walk in silence for a couple more minutes.
"Erin!" I hear from the steps of the school as Rebecca and I amble up them. "Oh my God! Get over here!"
The squealing in question happens to come from Carolyn McKeon, a junior who I know to be a huge fan of One Direction. She's extremely nice and all, normally not an annoyance or a bother in any way, but this could be vastly different than a normal situation. I inhale and prepare myself before I walk to her, Rebecca trailing close behind.
"Okay, I don't know if you know this but..." Carolyn smiles widely. "There's a bunch of pictures and videos of a girl who looks like you hanging with Niall Horan in different places."
"I know there are. I've seen them," I affirm warily, shifting from side to side. That's actually a half-lie. I've only seen the videos and pictures from the first concert. According to Rebecca and now this other girl, I was also caught at the second concert, the pictures from which I have not yet seen.
"I just wanted to check if that girl is really you," Carolyn shrugs. Her smile is so earnest and she's normally so nice, I'd feel like a huge jerk if I just blatantly lied to her face.
"Yes. That is me." I cringe as I say it. Brain, you better have made the right decision.
Carolyn does not scream, she does not gasp. Her smile merely grows so large that she and the Cheshire cat could be long-lost siblings.
"That's so cool!" she says brightly. "Are the boys nice? Did you get to meet their band? Or Paul? Did you...?"
I answer her questions as we walk to our lockers which are conveniently only a few feet away from each other. Rebecca's is on the second floor so as we pass a staircase, we wave goodbye to her.
Carolyn does not pry too much. She asks only the burning questions, such as how soft Harry's hair is and if Louis really is the brash guy he's made out to be. I laughingly tell her Louis' reaction to me with no problem but I sort of skirt around anything to do with Harry. I'd rather not ruin Carolyn's dreams and tell her that Harry's the ultimate dick-face.
Literally. His nose does look like a penis.
I think that really make Carolyn's day, making her sure her boys are completely real and not fabricated by the media. I describe Niall to her in the most detail, obviously, since I was with him for the longest time. I don't get too detailed with any of their descriptions, just generalizations here and there. She listens particularly intently at my retelling of mine and Liam's meeting and I can see he is her favorite.
The thing that pleasantly surprises me is that she does not ask for anything from me. Carolyn never begs for an autograph, a picture, a mention of her to the boys. She merely asks for my personal experience, nothing else. I am in admirable shock at how she doesn't want to be a nuisance to me, how careful she is when thinking of questions. I can only hope that anyone else who saw the pictures is as respectable as Carolyn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My day ends just as every other day has in the past, only with a sore throat. I was confronted by a large number of teenage girls, even a few boys. They all wanted to know more about my One Direction anecdotes just the way Carolyn did, it's just that they all asked me at different times. I could've been the laziest asshole in the world and told them to ask someone I already spouted my story to, but I couldn't count on that person getting everything accurate. If I wanted to stem rumors without having to lie to anyone, I had to tell each and every person the same truth. Throughout the day, I ended up picking up a speech I would give to whoever wanted to know. They all walked away with shocked and awed faces, none of them asking for anything other than information.
I pack up my stuff and begin walking home, this time alone. Rebecca has soccer on Mondays and Wednesdays so if I'm going home that day, I am doing it by myself. I had the choice to go to my friend's house to study but I just don't feel like socializing today. I'm in one of those moods where I just want to lock myself up in my room with a good book and a cup of honey vanilla tea and forget the world exists.
As I stroll down the pavement watching my breath become cloudy, I pull out my cell phone and turn it on. I keep my phone off throughout the school day because pretty much all the people I text regularly are also in class. Our teachers are also really strict when it comes to technology in class. It's a bit ridiculous, actually. They're constantly taking away kids calculators by mistake.
Once my phone is on, I feel it vibrate three times. I flip it open to see two more texts from Niall. I open the one that has an earlier sending time. It's a response to my threat of starting an inappropriate rumor about him and his cousin.
"I'm sure that would be a lovely story for our fans' parents to hear. 'Boy Band Member Marries Cousin'. We'd be so much more popular with the older people. J" -Niall
I open the second one which was sent ten minutes after the first.
"Erin? Hello? ERRRIIIIINNNN" -Niall
Two minutes later.
"Oh wait. You're in school. I'm embarrassed." -Niall
I have a little silent laugh to myself as I open a new message. Maybe I should be keeping my phone on during school. I mean, he's going to start being busy later in the day and he won't be able to talk to me.
"Haha sorry :P My phone's usually off during school" -Erin
I get his reply as I'm walking up the stairs to my apartment.
"Nah I should've guessed you were in class. How was your day?" -Niall
My smile grows as I unlock my front door. Nobody other than my mom and sister ever ask how my day was.
"I kept finding myself in conversations with curious fans asking about you. Not overwhelming though. Apparently they knew I went to the second concert." -Erin
I walk down the hall and open the door to my room, throwing my backpack and myself onto the bed. I open my bedside table's drawer and pull out the book I've been reading, Tangerine by Edward Bloor. I flip to the general area where I think I left off (I haven't kept a bookmark since middle school) and begin reading while I wait for Niall's reply.
I barely get a sentence in before my phone buzzes on my lap.
"Don't worry, they'll probably not care by the end of the week" -Niall
"That would be disappointing."-Erin
"Why?"-Niall
"It was fun talking about all you guys to your fans. I feel like they're meeting you when I tell them how you guys are."-Erin
"Haha well if it makes you happy. :) Did you tell anyone about Harry?"-Niall
"Nah I kind of avoided it. Did he ever tell you why he was being so...jerkish?"-Erin
"No. Anytime I bring you up, he gets all stuffy and won't talk to me. I figure I'd let him sit with it for a while and when he feels like it, he can tell me." -Niall
"Okay. So how was your day?"-Erin
We keep talking until my family comes home and my mom calls me out of my room for dinner. After I eat at a particularly fast pace, one my mom looks at with a raised eyebrow and Katie is very impressed by, I thank my mother briskly for the meal and speed-walk back to my room.
I try to get away from the phone to do my homework but the periods of withdrawal are brief. Niall is actually a fantastic texter, something I am pleasantly surprised by. If I ever run out of things to say to him and reply with only an "LOL" or "Haha" he jumps right in with a completely unrelated topic that gets me to literally laugh out loud at his words. Our conversations range from the stupidest things possible to more cerebral subjects that actually keep me interested.
At about eleven o'clock I reluctantly tell Niall that I have to go to bed because I have quite a busy day of learning and such to get done tomorrow and I need a good bit of shut-eye to get through it.
I get up to kill the lights and then turn my phone off, getting into bed. I end up staying awake for quite a significant amount of time just reflecting on the day and how surprisingly good it was. I do hope tomorrow is similar.
And the next day...
And the next...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turns out my hopes are being listened to quite intently. For the next several weeks, my life picks up a routine. Unlike what Niall thought, the fans do not forget my connection with him. They constantly come up to me with more questions they've been dying to ask which I ask to Niall later that evening. He says he loves this system because he can't always answer his fans on Twitter and this makes it easier for everyone. Later in this period of time they begin asking questions about the other boys, those of which Niall gladly retells. He says the boys feel the same way about this whole deal, if it even is one, because they don't want to seem like heartless jerks that don't have enough time to answer their fans.
Even Harry relents and answers some questions. I'm sure he realizes that if he doesn't, the fans might pick up on his apparent bad attitude.
The thing with Harry's meanness that confuses me is that it is only towards me. I have never heard of him being mean to another fan or saying anything bad about anyone. Niall agrees with me, saying he hasn't ever seen Harry like this before and that he is usually such a kind-hearted person. It just came out of nowhere and we're kind of at a loss.
"I've been thinking..." Niall says to me over the phone one evening while I'm writing an essay. We started calling each other every weeknight about three days after our initial texts.
"Yeah?" I motion for him to continue but then realize that I am on a phone and that I am an imbecile.
"I think I've seen Harry like this before..." Niall sounds a bit wary divulging this information to me.
"Really?" I pry. "Like when?"
"Well, when we were at the VMAs this year, we met a lot of famous people." Niall pauses. "One of them was Demi Lovato."
"I remember that!" I exclaim. "It was all over Twitter that you two went out for dinner or something!"
"Yeah, we did," Niall admits. "Demi's a nice girl. I did really like her but we figured we were both too busy for a relationship."
"So what does this have to do with Harry?" I turn my pencil upside-down and erase the word "Harry" from my sentence about the French and Indian War. This is why I shouldn't talk and write at the same time; my hand can't tell the difference.
"Well he was kind of mean to her too," Niall sighs. "He wasn't as up front as he was to you, but still pretty rude."
"Wow," I breathe. "Did he explain that one at all?"
"I never talked to him about it." I hear Niall cough on the other line.
"You alright?" I ask him.
"Yeah, just a sore throat," he manages. "We had a big concert in Miami two nights ago. It messed up my voice a bit."
"Drink some tea," I suggest.
"You see, I would," Niall begins. "But I think if you cut open my skin I would just start bleeding tea, I've had so much lately."
I giggle quietly, adjusting my phone.
"And if I were to cut you open, what would your blood be?" Niall asks seriously.
"Hmm..." I ponder this for a bit. "Ginger ale."
Silence, then a wild cackle.
"Erin, you always make me laugh!" Niall chuckles over the phone. "Honestly, you're jokes top Louis' any day." He becomes severe for a second. "Don't ever let him know I said that."
"Oh yeah, I'll just ring him up when I next get the chance," I tease. "'Um, Mr. Tomlinson?'"
"Don't you dare," Niall warns.
"'Yes, you see,'" I continue. "'You have a traitor in your midst. Niall doesn't like-'"
"Hush!" Niall tries to sound stern but gives himself away with a small giggle.
"I think we can see who holds the power between us," I announce. "Obviously, I do."
"Nuh-uh!" Niall protests. "I'm older!"
"Psh, two years is nothing," I smirk. "Thanks for playing."
I laugh as I hear Niall grumble dramatically on the other line.
What a ham.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometime near the end of November, my parents officially divorce, meaning there is no coming back for my father. I actually spend about an hour crying about it to Niall, to which he responds with a lot of encouragement and reassurance. He even gets Louis on the phone to give me some advice because he's also had to go through this and Niall thinks it would be nice to get another point of view on the situation.
After the initial shock of not having a full family anymore, my dad decides to move. Not too far, since he doesn't want to leave Katie and I. Only to New York and Katie is allowed to visit him every other weekend. I have to follow those same rules until January when I turn 18 and I can do whatever I want.
Not really. But it'll feel like it.
A few more weeks pass of the same life. I wake up, go to school, come home or go somewhere else, talk with Niall, sleep. It becomes quite natural and routine. I'm not saying that my life becomes a rut. If I said that, I'd be lying. Having constant contact with Niall somehow keeps my life stable and interesting, though those may seem like contradicting terms. He turns out to be a great listener and advice giver while I try to be the same for him.
While I complain about day-to-day things that pretty much every teenager has to deal with, his problems are a lot more exclusive. I can't always give the best advice to him when he talks of how fame can sometimes be a burden since I haven't really experienced it for myself. Normally, Niall only has good things to say about his superstar lifestyle, since in his eyes the good outweighs the bad. But every once in a while he will call me with a dilemma or discomfort having to do mostly with his fame.
What I am quite impressed by is his lack of complaining about the boys. He can't seem to truly insult anything they do. I don't mean he never says anything negative about them, but when he does it's in a joking manner. Niall doesn't even talk about Harry badly. We've kind of mutually decided to let the matter drop unless it becomes a huge problem.
When it reaches around Christmas time, I go into a slump of sorts. This will be the first holiday we've celebrated without my father. When Katie and I went to see him last, we tried to convince him to have Christmas dinner with us. He tried to delicately explain how busy he was that day to Katie but luckily I understood it as he didn't want to be around our mom so I let the subject drop.
Katie and I decorate our tree like we normally do, hanging our macaroni sculpture ornaments all over the leaves. We stand back and give it an artiste look-over before we top the tree. I put Katie on my shoulders and have her place the little star topper we have on the point of the tree. I put her down and turn on the Christmas lights that we surrounded our masterpiece with.
Damn we're good.
Christmas dinner is quiet, not filled with the usual tipsy joking of my father. We have never had dinner with anyone else other than us four. We save that for the other holidays.
After the meal, we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas because it came up in our random Google search for Christmas movies. We've never watched the same movie twice on Christmas and we keep a tally of them in our ornament box.
Once the movie is over, my mom and I tuck Katie into bed, kissing her goodnight. Just as we've done since I was twelve years old, my mother makes us each a mug of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows and we sit in the kitchen and chat about life.
I go to my room quite content, even with the absence of my father. I flip open my phone just to check if I've received anything. It's understandable why I haven't; most of the people I regularly text are with their families right now and shouldn't be ignoring them for phones.
I go to sleep anticipating my presents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I awake to the sound of my sister running down the halls and screaming, "ME WANT PRESENTS!" repeatedly, I jump out of my bed with excitement. I'm about to leave my room to go the tree when I hear a vibration from my bedside table.
Damnit. Forgot to shot off my phone.
I flip it open just to check who it is. Of course it's Niall. He said he'd be in Mullingar with his family for Christmas so our texting schedule's been a bit scattered. I smile as I open the text but that grin quickly goes away when I read the text in all its illiterate glory.
"Hapy christmasss babe!! Hope you had a wondrfull night! I wass mising someonee to snugggggle up to tho! Love you, Erin! Xoxoxxxxxxoxo"-Niall
What?